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What is reality? what happened? Please help?

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Helpmehelptheworld

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Sep 8, 2015
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Hello Hello. Due to the last thread I read about LSD being pushed towards this forum because it grazes the subject of the Devil and God I will now post my personal experience of what happened to a hypothetical version of me at a hypothetical place in Nicigan at D-Forest. Please bare with me even if you do not understand. If you want to skip to a part that might grab your attention skip to Part III OKAY?


It started off really easy going. I arrived late Thursday night and was appaled at the time it took to get there (a whole total of 10 fucking hours from the state of illinois what the fuck). Regardless, after finally setting up camp late at night I then went to sleep merrily while the others went to the rest of the shows. Now friday is when it all gets funky.

The Beginning - A man named K walks past my campsite and we chat for a short while. I then ask if he has the ability to roll a fatty, I am incapable of rolling but had a nice amount of ganj with me and 30 swishers so fuck it why not blaze in the AM, he does and we puff puff pass the beautiful thing until I am blazed as fuck. Now we all know how festivals go, wooks running around looking for the dank and selling the loud etc. I had a nice testing station supplied by Dance safe (hurray) and i allow K to use it. In return for my non greed he happily supplies both me and my bro with some of the most fire L I have ever come across. He happily sticks two in my mouth and I am as merry as can be.

The Come-Up (The start) - As time moves forward the come up occurs but this time the body load is quite uncomfortable. We have yet to make moves towards the other campsites as planned and I am getting increasingly more anxious. My buddy had invited 4 strangers to our campsite who had all burned themselves in the arm as a sign of brotherhood (wtf) and they were not the ones to give off the best of energy ya feel? After getting a bit vibed out I politely ask them to make a move towards the festival grounds and they do so. My trip starts to intensify at this point to where I am having difficulty seeing clearly. Everything seems bright but I just shrug it off do whatever it is I can to get comfortable and run in figure 8's. As we keep moving to our friends campground I accquire, and I truly mean it, all the possible knowledge of the world. I had been stunned by the idea of our brains being incapable of properly visualizing and accustoming to gravity (we see up side down in reality yet our brains flip it due to the fact that we live on a mono-polar source of gravity, the moon doesn't effect us enough, and therefore the idea of everything being ''up'' towards the sky, is just an evolutionary accustomization to survive?) and I was also able to compute quantic and binary encryption as if it was nothing. IT was incredible and a feat that was unparrarel to any other experience. All celestial knowledge was known and it was just absorbed. At this point I laughed and said to my brother, ''Wow this is so easy, why don't all humans use their brains fully like this?'' He responds with, '' Haha good! you like it? you really do? just wait :)''. at this point we come to my aquaintance campsite.

The First Step Into The Downfall- Mr. G sees me (the aquaintance) and merrily smiles at me. I run up to him as he is surrounded by fiends wanting his excellent M/other delightful things. My brother is holding me by my shoulder and runs up with me as I say, '' I don't want to play this game. Why do I have to play?'' to which he responds '' Of course you gotta play, everyone has to. you can't just not play''
me- '' Can I trust you?''
Him '' yeah if you can't trust me you're fucked''
me- '' okay''

This is where it all goes haywire. I take off and run towards my campsite in an attempt to get away. The trip gets stronger and stronger and I decide to mentally slow down time. My pursuers (Brother and Mr.G) start to actually slow down time

-Pause- I know how fucking crazy this sounds. Believe me. I FUCKING SERIOUSLY DO. But please understand that I am not saying it was just the trip. It actually fucking happened. Please take this into consideration.

-Un Pause- In slow motion Mr.G says to me, '' No 'Helptheworld' Don't... do.... that...''

I freak out and sit down and say I don't want to play.
He once again tells me everyone has to play. Faces my brother and says, '' He's ready' - Faces me and says - '' I want you to remember as much of this as you can okay? I need you to remember as much as you fucking can''
I start to play with the world. I slow down time and unpause it. I pause it, cut the music playing at the stage, resume it all and control the fourth dimension. I am freaked out and I take off.

Everyone at this festival knows who I am. Everyone at this festival was there to make sure I didn't go out of bounds. Where ever I ran someone else was there to make sure I was in sight. I mean it.

I look around and my ''brother'' is running after me to keep up. I look at him and say, '' Bring him here. (in my mind I pictured albert einstein)''. He says,'' I can't he's dead. I can't do that but I can do anything else. What do you want? tell me what you want.'' '' I say Everything.''

He tells me,'' no something else. What do you really want?''

I say nothing and run away. This continues for awhile. The questions become darker and darker.

My ''brother'' tells me that my father didn't raise me this way, oh everything is about YOU isn't it? Oh pity helptheworld. Oh my *waaaah wahhh* go cry about it. Isn't this world wonderful? Dancing, drugs, sex, women!!! Don't erase this, LEAVE IT AND STAY WITH US. Love it. Love it all. Don't leave. We can do anything you want.

At this point I face him and say, '' You could go home if you didn't always lie. You're here because you lie, because you cannot stay true. Because you always grasp for more.'' My 'brother' asks me what I want once again. I say You need to have a meeting. Right now. Talk to him face to face right now and I'm sure you could find a solution. I am going to call him here RIGHT NOW! MEET WITH HIM AND LEAVE ME ALONE''

'My brother' tries to hit me. I close my eyes, cover my ears, and drown everything out. No one bothers me. I open my eyes, run towards a tent and close my eyes. I imagine what this tent would be like if you could just walk through it. Everytime I closed my eyes the world became code. All you needed to do was press and command it the correct way and you could dematerialize it. I pushed on the tent, walked straight through it, and ended up on the other side. If I truly didn't believe it existed then it didn't. The entierty of this reality was broken for me. I was at awe yet my brother would not stop. He kept pressing kept running after me. I fell to the ground and he holds my head. At this point Mr.G comes to me and looks at my brother and says '' Is he ready now? - Give him the water damn it.'' They try to force me to drink the water. An image of a gate flashes before me and I am at the gate of heaven or perhaps the gate of hell. I am the embodiment of an angel. I flash back to my body and they still try to give me water. I close my lips tight and try to force them away but I am incapable. I am tripping way too hard. I am being held down to the ground and my surrounding shakes. I feel the cords and the goggles around my actual body. I felt them almost get removed. I felt myself losing control. I felt myself losing to them. I roar back into my body and fight back but they keep trying. They force my perception towards a warm and wonderful light. The warmth and beauty of it was astounding. They push and I plunge back into the darkness. They are all speaking without talking. They all know what they are saying to each other. I stand up. Take a few steps and realize that I am able to judge. That I am able to see the truth in all others around me. I am not like everyone else. I am alone at the moment. I close my eyes and make the judgment call to end myself. To kill myself to stop this world from existing. But one thing holds me back. I loved my brother. I can't end his life because I am incapable of living in this world. I know he's horrid but that doesn't mean he should forever suffer and seize to exist. There had to be another way. I had to find another way. I struggle in a timeless zone. I go back and forth, in and out of the light while others scream at me to let them go home. To let them back into the home. That they surely have changed. I can't make a decision. Do i end it all? I chose not to. But perhaps I should've done it.

It all blurs and I lose 5 hours of my life. I wake up at the other side of the campground - PISSED THE FUCK OFF.

I talk to my brother and ask him what happened. He tells me I had a bad trip. I accept it. Because how could it possibly be real?

The truth is. It was.

Part II

I am now at bassnectar for the second to last day. I am standing there as my friend plops two hits of ''L'' Into my mouth and two the other three individuals standing next to me. The set is a blur and I dance the night away. I open my eyes at the end of the set and my 'brother' tells me to follow him. He asks me if I am happy and okay. I say '' No, I think I'm going to die''

My sense of direction is completely gone and they waddle me through the giant forest. They speak back and forth to each other about how this is the same path I took on Friday and how this is exactly how I walked on Friday etc etc. We walk towards the front entrance to make a pit stop by the portapotties. There was a giant bloodshed on the ground to the left of the fork of portapotties and I walk to the right into them and do my buisness. I walk out and my brother says. Turn around. Take a good look at it.

I do thinking he means the best for me. He herds me away from the portapotties and towards the campsite. 10 police officers are on horses leading our path and making sure we make it safely to my campground. Towards the last 200 feet my legs give out and one of the lads say this '' It must've been the cyclobenzaprine we gave him. Easy peazy right?''. They carry me and I look up into the sky, two helicopters go by and around me police officers are running back and forth. I get to my camp ground and they lay me down on the back of the SUV in the trunk. I am laying there staring at the celling and everytime I lift my head, one of my ''buddies'' points at a light and wants me to look at it. I think it's a game. That this is all a game to know the truth of the world. To help them because they are my friends. They keep going. But what's odd is that, those giant lights that you see at football and soccer games (you know the spotlight ones that are about 40 feet in the air) turn on and off. There are four of them. they turn on in a Z formation and off as soon as I look at them. Other lights are planted (camp lights, lights in the car, light in the car next to me) After the debacle of lights are done , they smile evily at each other and nod. They look at the items we had brought, Sun chips, A david rooster piece, a hundred dollar bill, different colors of different things (red, (I think green, It was brown but i'm slightly color blind) and blue). They smile each time an item is accepted into my head and they try to impliment thoughts in a very round about way. I am still tripping but not as bad. I am in almost full control but my fear and anxiety is THROUGH the roof. The last item was the 100 dollar bill. My 'brother' and E smile and say this, '' Remember waht this is? It's good right? Right 'helptheworld'? At that point I back track through all the items that were presented in my mind and I deny them. I say that they are dog shit and I believe they are worthless. They look at each other and say '' Fucking damn it, what happened?'' Then blame each other for setting me off. They shrug if off after 15 minutes and more people surround the campsite now. They are all 'friends' of mine. One pretends to knife me at least 5 times sending me out of my skin (not literally) and backing off. They all laugh and ridicule me and laugh. One says '' Oh well, you're the one that's going to be here for forever soon. Not me haha. Someone's got to do it right?'' I am scared for my life. I am sad that I trusted these people and I want to run away.

At this point my bro says I need to take a xanax and go to bed. I just need to pass out. Take some dilaudin (valium) take X take Y take Z (all benzos) you're tripping and need to sleep. I go into the tent and my brother lays down across from me. He looks at me with one eye. Holds my hand. And looks at me with pure hatred and jealousy. He smiles and evil smile and I feel my hand get cold and his warmer. I finally get some sense in me and pull my hand away. I walk out of the tent and put my shoes on. He shoo's me to go back into the bed. I do so and grab the car keys at the same time.

Part III

This is the part that justifies it all. If I had just had a bad trip then it should've stayed in my perception, correct? It should not have been able to occur into websites and other individuals BEHAVIOR AND SPEECH (please bare with me)

I walk out of the tent and he follows me. I open all car doors and I, at this point, believe I am going to be killed. E gets out of his car and asks wtf is going on. I am pissed off and I want to stay awake till dawn breaks. They plead for me to go to bed. I refuse - Pissed the fuck off obviously - and try to find a way to get out of the situation. They look at each other and E says to 'my bro' Just knock him the fuck out. My brother says - Not yet. wait.

I pace the car and all of a sudden an opportunity arises. A few security guards of the campgrounds appear (two with knives visible at in their pockets) Grab the last quad of my ganj from the open trunk and say '' Well well, real weed. That's interesting - This is ours''

I bolt for the car, turn it on and PEEL THE FUCK OUT. my brother standing at the back gate jumps into the car. crawls to the front of the car and pulls the tranny from Drive to Park. I swerve and hit a trunk of another car.

This is where shit goes awry for them.

My bro yells at me '' WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU'' I simply respond '' Fuck you.''

The campsite becomes alive. People come out of their tents. Someone popped out of the trunk I just hit and yells that she could've been killed. What kind of fucking retards are we!!! etc.

The police arrive. They run a type A field test on me and conclude that I am indeed not on drugs and that I am free to go. All they need is a 100 dollars cash from each of us (what the fuck I just hit someones car) The other individual didn't press charges and no police report was filed on the crash. (What the fuck) I did not need to give my info to them.

Prior to this my phone had been uncharged. It was now 6 am and I finally got to sit in the passanger side (my bro had taken the keys) and I turn on my phone. I was not locked to normal human internet. What I mean is. I entered Reddit and was allowed to witness something I had never in my life seen before. I browsed 6 topics.

''How do I change this self harm program?''
I click on it to read that this demon had been able to program his human to do a stabbing motion with the knife but was unable to code the program to slit the arm instead (WHAT THE FUCK?) then there were commenters stating how to fix the code that should be run and that THEIR human was able to self harm easily with ''Command X'' Etc. WHAT THE FUCK???)
'' Why have homo sapiens only evolved so little in the last 10,000 years''
This thread talked about how humans have evolved so little because of their lack of order and the different countries involved and their obsession with fighting each other etc
'' Fucking normies, why are they so fucking lame?''
97% of the world are ignorant normal people who do not understand what is going on
''How does 4chan work''
4chan is a website run by a sysadmin. Since time is a mortal thing it just takes posts that were posted earlier and pushes them back later until an algorithm stops them from being visible.
'' How do I make galvanized Iron''
This one is a little vague but basically the thread talked about how to make galvanized iron. Something that stood out to me more than anything was the ease at which they said to JUST TURN UP YOUR HEAT SOURCE TO 1000 DEGREES CELCIUS (OH YEAH RIGHT.. LET ME JUST SET MY OVEN TO THAT AND GET STARTED)


As I am desperately trying to absorb as much information as possible one of the security guards that had just robbed me walks up to the window and says,'' Sorry man, We are family now though. We are blood so don't worry. I'm not gonna harm you anymore''

I play along and say,'' Oh who took care of that?'' '' He says oh your brother''

Then starts talking about how he was gonna go home later and walk his human, laughs and then gives me a weird look when I am stoic. He realizes he fucked up and just walks away yelling '' You're gonna be fine man, btw they crack the code on these bracelets and started selling them 50 a piece, thanks to you though I have a real one hahahahah''

My brother gets in the car and asks me if I am fine. I get out of the car and get ontop of the roof and look around. People were staring at me and a few yelled that they were gonna fucking kill me and take care of me today. I look to my left and see three mexicans with Rifles in their hands but slightly covered by blankets smiling at me and shaking their heads. I turn to the right get off the car and start running. I get tackled from behind by my brother. He punches me a few times and then tells me to get back to the car. I do so not knowing what else to do.

I get in the car and he tells me to face away. to look the other way. I don't know what compelled me but I did so. All of a sudden a flash of heat and light come from the left bumper of the car (where I had hit the other car) a loud cranking and yanking and the left side of the bumper comes off and the tire ( which was blocked by the bumper) was now free.

We get on the road and something clicks in my brothers head. He takes the cord that's attached to my phone (for charging) and yanks on it so it breaks. He snatches the phone outta my hand and says he needs to use it for the GPS. 20% of my battery INSTANTLY drain and he hands it back to me saying he needs to use the second and only other charge for his phone for the GPS and that I should try and sleep and stop using my phone. I am livid but stunned. My life has changed. The trip home consists of 4-5 stops at different gas stations. The car would not start unless I looked in a certain direction. I mean it. He tried and tried and the car did not turn over until a flash of light or a car light or a person or a car caught my attention and pulled my eye sight towards it.

We get home and I am livid and mad. I am not longer affected by drugs. I walk in the door and before I see my mom my brother yells to her that she is my mother and that she has an autoimmune disease and she's very ill so not to forget that. I blow past my brother into the kitchen. I am livid and pissed off since my mother was in on this whole ordeal. He turns to her yet again and all he says was '' I was so close mom. I really really was. I was so close to taking it.'' My mother freaks out and says '' BUT (brothers name) WHY WOULD YOU TRY? WHAT THE HELL DON'T STRESS YOURSELF OUT OVER IT YOU SHOULD JUST LET A WOMAN TAKE IT OUT OF HIM''

There is more to this story but quite honestly I doubt anyone is gonna read even this far

My question is. Who am I? Why was I targetted? Why could I stop time? Why did I not need to breath? Why do they want my soul? Am I here to judge? What happens if I do give the devil/god something that I want? WIll I be eternally damned? And lastly. If you enter the 4th dimension You will enter a battlefield as endless as time. This earth is a battleground for good and evil. It's where they fight it out. Those who have been fated to be evil will never return home but they are trying to change that. Is the world seriously made out of code? Why was I able to change so much and control so much? Who gets to be an engineer of the world? And the earth is purgatory. The choices you make here will effect what happens when you wake up in the room and choose your path.
 
Wow. That was beyond entertaining.


By the way, it might help if you see this a bit like a dream. You know how in dreams you can be all-powerful and do things you can't in real life. That's not to say it's not real, just on another plane of reality, where your focus of consciousness shifts to momentarily.

I've noticed in dreams you're able to create incredibly complex scenarios from all sorts of small clues you have been given in life. I think you only need to be given once as your consciousness remembers everything and syntesises it in all kinds of incredible ways. The conscious part of your mind is just the tip of the iceberg, although in this world we like to pretend it's the only thing that is real.
 
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A pinch of valium or similar, then some sleep, some time with supportive friends or similar, failing that, a few days in the psychiatric inpatient unit is the prescription here. I don't mean to be flippant but that's what's needed in this case. You've experienced a state of mind (manic/psychotic) that has been kindled by the ingestion of powerful psychotropic drugs. The first thing to do is to realize that and realize that it is transitory. If you feel any doubt of that or in any danger of harm to self/others, you need to seek professional help. This may worry you but we (in the field of psychiatric) are much less judgmental than you may think. Keep safe. And remember that almost all the time these effects of drugs, even post-acute, will leave you eventually.
 
Haha, I spent 4 days in the inpatient unit and got released. This happened more than a month and a half ago. It was interesting to say the least. I was targetted there too. But that's a different story I suppose.
*Tin foil hat on* lmfao :)

And ninae, that is a good way to look at it. But the way I see it it was in the realm of the fourth dimension. See, if you take L and you can unleash your concious to reject this coded reality and instead enter the realm that exists without time then, things like breathing and getting information instant moments, do not seem too far fetched right? The function of L is to reduce your brains input. It takes all input and doesn't put them through those checks that ordinarily happen. Hence why you are able to see the color spectrum and see at a higher FPS and etc etc. I believe that our brains are computers and when you take L and lower those barriers you see the world as it truly is. As each piece of spaghetti code. And if you are able to harness this. You are indeed dangerous to the reality in which we live.

I also have the theory that our true bodies are somewhere... in the 4th dimension. When you die you either A) die there too. or B) finally wake up. Take off your occulus rift goggles and choose and exit out of the building. With full immersive reality we are then subjected to code which has been programmed by ''God'' 'Simply' to enter the realm of gods you would just need to reject Gravity, Time, and a few other celestial concepts. Then when you choose to exit and you either pick to go home or to go to hell or to restart is yet to be seen.

It would make sense too. We are all created in God's image etc. If you look at genetic code it's a system set up by amino acids. In the beginning of earths formation of life all that was needed was a simple set of amino acids, radiation from the sun, and the self evolving code of genetics. -shrug-


I also have a theory on that our vision of the world is truly upside down as stated and then corrected by our eyes for evolutionary mono-polar gravity purposes. What I mean is that the human body is subjected to Gravity (or a strong force of gravity) from the earth and earth alone. If one were to put three earths at equadistance and have each pull equally or semi close to equal depending on which earth you would be standing on - your vision would then be ''true'' as in whatever point of gravity is strongest. or to say. Up would be dependent on whatever is the strongest force of gravity since that would pose the most danger. However, our vision is based on a mono polar point of gravity and have therefore evolved us to understand Up and Down as the most evolutionary benefiting? If we were to be born and start interstellar travel I'm pretty certain our vision would change. Just a theory.
 
Ok, where to start.

I made a joke in the aliens thread to you but it really is something I believe. I have experienced demons and angels and thought I was given information about what life and death mean while tripping, too. It is not all that uncommon. My strongest trip occurred in a crowded nightclub. I was up the whole day before using amphetamine, went to the club and took a few tabs of ecstasy and some ketamine. Normally I would not take enough k to hole, but it was so packed, I parked my ass on a bench and continued doing bumps. I knew I was in for a interesting ride when everything kinda turned industrial looking and I was travelling through some weird pipe-like tunnel. Everything went white and I saw a square shape with different colors on each corner. Each color was being explained (not even sure who was telling me this) as representing life, heaven, hell and the ghostly plain. Somewhere in the middle of this two of my friends, two brothers, came to check on me and they were immediately recognized by me as two demons trying to interupt my "enlightenment." The DJ was known for working songs for like twenty or thirty minutes and the particular one he was playing had this ominous undertone to it but he was mixing in all other sounds that completely matched the information I was being told. I was not right for about a week and half after this and seeing certain colors would trigger a memory. But as stated, with time it faded. I tried to use the experience as a learning lesson, but I could only come up with the basic facts that I was fucked up in an enviorment not suitable for a full ketamine experience and no truth was bestowed upon me. So I think you are still in this phase of trying to figure out why you were selected but feel it will pass. If not, by all means seek help as it will mess with your mind.

Now onto some basic science. The fourth dimension is time. How can you enter a realm without time when time is what you would be entering? Perhaps you meant the fourth spacial dimension. In that case who knows? String Theory needs at least 10 dimensions to be a mathematically elegant theory but those extra dimensions are most likely so compactified that they basically are too tiny for anything to exist there, if they are even actually phyiscally real. Until we have a better understanding of higher spacial dimensions and consciousness, I cannot feel anything larger than a string could exist in one of them.

And while some theories on the origins of life state somehow amino acids became the first self replicating life forms, genetic material like DNA is not composed of amino acids, rather nucleic acids arranged around a sugar and phosphate backbone.

I wont comment on your gravity theory as I dont understand what you are saying.

So relax, my friend. You got high and are feeling the after effects. If you can use them to help your life, great. But if not and they do not fade away, seeking mental health professionals may be a good idea.
 
Op, this may be more suited in psychedelic drug or trip reports forum. May get more replies. Let me know if u want me to shift it.

Welcome to bluelight too :)
 
Thanks willow :) and no I have another thread identical to this one (posted in anon posting and it got moved)

And yeah, 4th spacial dimension and the rejection of TimeSpace in actuality would cause you to leave this realm of reality and onto the battlefield of Gods. It's also the realm where because you are no longer playing as a mortal, time does not affect you, therefore the induction of information can be done instantly. However, processes in this realm still stay true. What I mean is. The passing of a drug in this realm will still happen because it's not based on time. It's based on your metabolism. We just use time to understand how long it takes for something to do something when in reality it's just a process that takes that same amount of ''time'' regardless of if time exists. Does that makes sense? haha. And Do you need me to expand on the Gravity theory? It might be useful to spitball off someone :) What I mean is that our eye sight/vision is upside down correct? but our brains flip it to make it so that we consider the sky as UP and the earth as down! But in reality, in space there is no up or down. If we were interstellar beings that lived in space often etc. Our vision would be corrected to always adhere to gravity as being the center of our visual basis. The larger the gravity the higher the pull on our vision. Why? Because large 'quantities' of Gravity would be dangerous. and to keep it as the pull point or what our vision changes towards would be beneficial from a survival standpoint because... well large quantities of gravity would probably mean large quantities of death if you are not careful. Everything we look at. truly is upside down because the force pulling on all items on the surface of the earth are pulling into the source of gravity. However, Since we live on earth and we are not traveling in space on the regular. We have evolved to find it most beneficial to use the sky as our reference point of up and down. Does that maybe make more sense?

As for the amino acid portion. Yes you are quite correct. I was trying to speak in that line of thought but I perhaps should've been more clear.
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Like the weird thing is that My brother finally admitted to trying to do something bad to me. But he says that it was the drugs fault. That he didn't really know what he was doing. And he states that what S said (about me staying here forever) was just him being on drugs. They also admit that it was the same path of walking I took last time I tripped and that he just thought that it was funny that I did. And that he had made a terrible mistake and he didn't mean to do what he did. That it was the drugs fault and it truly was the drugs fault etc. He also admitted that Mr.G really did say for me to remember as much of it as I could. But he couldn't explain why. Basically any thing that was weird was blamed on drugs and fully on drugs.

So now I'm in this weird spot where all the things that were said to me while I was tripping is true... But apparently none of the experiences are. Does that makes sense? the words spoken are true but my perception of what happened and my perception of being an angel, finding the key to the other side, finding out the 6 or 7 words that let you pass to the otherside, almost pulling the trigger on this world and ending it and getting water fed to me and all these others things and all the celestial knowledge is supposed to be a facade. Just BOOM it was all just my head. Me reading those things on reddit are supposed to be wrong too. Iuno. Just seems a little too good to be true. But oh well. Only time will tell.

Also, after this all happened my mom kept telling me things like, '' you can't save the world helpme, you just have to let it be the way it is.'' and '' I was so happy when you were born because you were someone like me. I love your brothers too but you were someone like me!'' and '' Stop trying to save the world. Many others have tried but you just can't! so let it go''. I realized that all the people around me are actually really... well evil so to speak. When they interact it is just with pure hatred unless they are part of the same family / blood. If not then it's just pure animosity with no real social boundaries. Whatever is on their mind is spoken in fullest force. Oh want to fuck? you just are blatant about it. Oh want to fight? you basically flare up like a peacock. This could be a small portion of the worlds population but honestly I don't think so. The greatest impressionable instance was when a few days after when my father decided to drive me to the city to speak to 'my brother'. He parked the car and before he could get out I sprinted to the apartment complex. I accidently, truly and barely, bumped this black lady that was holding the door open. She instantly turns to me and says '' Oh! you want to get your ass beat today HUH?'' I, being off my rocker for the most part, '' Remaind silent. She faces out towards the parking lot and yells to her friend that she was gonna have to beat my ass today. My father comes rushing in through the door, turns around, faces the lady and stands directly with his back turned to me. He does ONE SINGLE HAND MOTION WHERE HE PUT HIS HAND UP TO HIS HEAD. He does not speak a SINGLE fucking word. I swear to you right now. I was on high alert thinking everyone was out to get me. Hyper focused. HE DID NOT SPEAK A WORD and all he did was the hand signal. - The lady drops her fighting demenor, apologizes PROFUSELY to me. Says that accidents happen and that it's quite all right - Then just walks into the elevator with my father while I am stunned and take the stairs. This is at least 4 days after that sunday. Believe me. I was stunned.

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This part is a bit confusing so read it or don't /shrug :)

The last time I tried tripping my uncle basically made sure that I would trip that day. He kept repeating that he would not be home and that he wouldn't be home till thursday etc etc. So I decided to trip again. Was watching a stream and all of a sudden - I get a super shitty feeling about 3 hours in and look up. Forsen, the HS streamer, says this - Wow, I have the hardest FUCKING job in the world. I really - Oh wow there we go. Okay! To your places people.

Then he starts speaking about how he broke the replay system and that it was time for everyone to finally go home. That he REALLY wanted to go home. And that I should get a move on. Then I felt myself enter a trance, you know the ones you kinda get when you're in DEEP thought, and all of a sudden I fell from the balcony. I had walked out of the room into the backroom. Out of that room and onto the balcony/terrace and off the side (about 5 feet) and fucked up my knee. That's when I basically regained control of myself and was freaking out. I stayed on the couch and tried to make sense of it all. Meanwhile, Forsen had now turn on a dating game or some shit. And his monologue was the same - He wanted to go home and that if SOMEONE could just get in their car and leavee then everyone could go the fuck home already. I change the stream to someone else. and Shit keeps being weird. They speak but it's all in sort of code. It's all ridiculing and saying shit like. Oo he's almost about to go do it. We are so close. And Oh soon he's going to run out of cards to play. The CS:GO stream talked about how luck doesn't really exist. Everything is pre determined prior to matches and that luck shouldn't exist. That shit isn't actually based on skill level. It's all based on the replay system that's predetermined who is going to win and not. I swap streams to a different one and he's speaking in complete backwards ways. Whenever he said he needed a gank he would say he doesn't need a gank and then the jungler would come up and gank. When I switched to BrianKibblers stream he talked about how the replay system was broken and that we all get to go home soon.

I'm so confused on that part. Seriously. lol.

Why aren't they allowed to go home. And who is it that's on the other side of me. It's a woman or something. Grrr I wish I didn't have all these small tidbits of information and I could actually be coherrent. Oh well.
 
Some time ago I had a dream I was in London, but as I swiftly moved up and got an aerial perspective I could see just a few blocks up everything was falling apart into rubble, and the constructed area was just a small part around where I'd been. Like so I didn't need to use any more energy unnecessarily. I guess that makes sense.

It's interesting to think this world might also be like this, or that things only get realness when you're in their proximity, but I think the point of this world is to have an objective reality that is shared by all. That is also what makes it so hard, slow, etc. But on the subtler levels where you can go with your soul things are different.


"As we “plug in” to our multidimensional power, we discover that we can see through the illusions of the 3D. In fact, that which was so important to our physical body reality is being transmuted into that which is increasingly important in our Light Body reality. When we blink out of the 3D, it is often because we have just blinked in to the portal through the 4D and into Gaia’s Light Planet. Then, it is components of our physical world that seem to blink into and out of our perceptions. Concepts such as time, polarity, and sequence are perceived as the disorientations of third dimensional reality."
 
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Hey man, you can't have the same thread running in two different forums. I note that you posted a duplicate of your OP in the P&S social thread too; its not really needed to post the same stuff across the forum. It just causes confusion.

I'm going to shut this one. I think this is more of a PD topic, and you have your thread there too.

Cheers.
 
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