Hey peeps. Sorry for the long-format.
I had my first experience with LSD a while back. I never really intended to move into that route, but where I'm from psychedelics are hard to come by and I felt strongly that I needed to do something and lysergic acid was easier to come by than anything else. I was in a bad place and headspace and was looking for something to change for the better and for me to become vital and inspired again. So I had a beautiful experience with low-medium dose LSD in a filmstudio all night long and I loved it. I felt like I had some breakthrough and I my body and mind was working beautifully.
I then proceeded to do it a few more times at higher doses (no more than 2 bloppers), but I'm worried I did it in too short of a time-frame. And on one occasion I also smoked some cannabis and that only led to confusion and I had a really shitty experience last time, and it left me feeling really drained. (Is there a spinal-fluid issue with LSD or is that horseshit?) This was a couple of months ago (2-3 months) and I went through a period of feeling really, really low, almost suicidal.
So, here's my questions (I'm getting there rather) - I'm considering waiting a little longer and giving it another shot in an attempt to "rectify" the damage done from the previous experience. This will probably be the last time I do it anyway. It might be faulty logic and I'm worried about making it worse, or crashing back down into a shitty place. If I decide to do it I'm coming into it in a healthy way -well prepared and with good intentions. I will make a meditative and positive thing out of it.
- But I'm naturally more drawn towards DMT (dimethyl-tryptamine), it's just that I don't fucking know how/where to get it. My feeling is this experience would be more profound and better for me in the long term, if I'm lucky enough and it's done right.
- I've considered trying opiates or sedatives, I really need to find that "zone" within myself where I can work creatively and executively. Right now I'm struggling with my focus and concentration and my life is in turmoil. I work in the creative fields so it's all up to me anyway. It's more important for me to be able to work well and succeed in the now than it is to be just "OK" or average in the long term, although I ideally want something that works both for performance and longevity. What I'm looking for is to fully reconnect to my life's purpose and be able to proceed with what I'm doing in a strong and positive way.
- I've also considered MDMA as a potential solution for my problems. I've never done it before, but experiencing love and euphoria for a while might be just what I need in order to heal from the damage done.
I really would appreciate some of you guys input. There's a lot to be taken into consideration at once for me and I can't risk fucking myself up psychologically - and that's my worry with LSD, that it really has the potential to fuck you head up and leave you unable to function at a high level. However, I already feel kinda fucked up, I don't feel that I'm able to perform well atm and I'm not comfortable enough in my own skin to be move comfortably in work and social situations. So I need to do something, something powerful, I'm just trying to wrap my head around what exactly.
Other options would include trying legal solutions such as valium or benzos or whatever, but I'm not sure if this within itself would be enough, and the long term consequences are daunting to say the least. I used to smoke weed and enjoy it a lot, but it's illegal where I'm from which means it drains my economy, good shit is hard to come by and it really isn't the most productive thing for me anymore. Maybe Ibogaine to kinda reset my physiology, but it might be dangerous to do on your own unless you're really on top of what you're doing. Not to mention the potential problems with customs etc.. whatever.
Please help me out if you can, I'd really appreciate your advice on this. Thank you
I had my first experience with LSD a while back. I never really intended to move into that route, but where I'm from psychedelics are hard to come by and I felt strongly that I needed to do something and lysergic acid was easier to come by than anything else. I was in a bad place and headspace and was looking for something to change for the better and for me to become vital and inspired again. So I had a beautiful experience with low-medium dose LSD in a filmstudio all night long and I loved it. I felt like I had some breakthrough and I my body and mind was working beautifully.
I then proceeded to do it a few more times at higher doses (no more than 2 bloppers), but I'm worried I did it in too short of a time-frame. And on one occasion I also smoked some cannabis and that only led to confusion and I had a really shitty experience last time, and it left me feeling really drained. (Is there a spinal-fluid issue with LSD or is that horseshit?) This was a couple of months ago (2-3 months) and I went through a period of feeling really, really low, almost suicidal.
So, here's my questions (I'm getting there rather) - I'm considering waiting a little longer and giving it another shot in an attempt to "rectify" the damage done from the previous experience. This will probably be the last time I do it anyway. It might be faulty logic and I'm worried about making it worse, or crashing back down into a shitty place. If I decide to do it I'm coming into it in a healthy way -well prepared and with good intentions. I will make a meditative and positive thing out of it.
- But I'm naturally more drawn towards DMT (dimethyl-tryptamine), it's just that I don't fucking know how/where to get it. My feeling is this experience would be more profound and better for me in the long term, if I'm lucky enough and it's done right.
- I've considered trying opiates or sedatives, I really need to find that "zone" within myself where I can work creatively and executively. Right now I'm struggling with my focus and concentration and my life is in turmoil. I work in the creative fields so it's all up to me anyway. It's more important for me to be able to work well and succeed in the now than it is to be just "OK" or average in the long term, although I ideally want something that works both for performance and longevity. What I'm looking for is to fully reconnect to my life's purpose and be able to proceed with what I'm doing in a strong and positive way.
- I've also considered MDMA as a potential solution for my problems. I've never done it before, but experiencing love and euphoria for a while might be just what I need in order to heal from the damage done.
I really would appreciate some of you guys input. There's a lot to be taken into consideration at once for me and I can't risk fucking myself up psychologically - and that's my worry with LSD, that it really has the potential to fuck you head up and leave you unable to function at a high level. However, I already feel kinda fucked up, I don't feel that I'm able to perform well atm and I'm not comfortable enough in my own skin to be move comfortably in work and social situations. So I need to do something, something powerful, I'm just trying to wrap my head around what exactly.
Other options would include trying legal solutions such as valium or benzos or whatever, but I'm not sure if this within itself would be enough, and the long term consequences are daunting to say the least. I used to smoke weed and enjoy it a lot, but it's illegal where I'm from which means it drains my economy, good shit is hard to come by and it really isn't the most productive thing for me anymore. Maybe Ibogaine to kinda reset my physiology, but it might be dangerous to do on your own unless you're really on top of what you're doing. Not to mention the potential problems with customs etc.. whatever.
Please help me out if you can, I'd really appreciate your advice on this. Thank you
