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Mental Health Was anyone raised by narcissistic parents/parent

I Love therapy ????? I have never seen anyone leave worse off than when they arrived !,
 
Hard to help you , when you are not helping yourself!,, they can’t do Miricles! You need to want to get better. . Do you? If not; stop wasting everyone’s times;
Theropist , exwife,child, and yourself !,
 
Iceman1216 said:
Hard to help you , when you are not helping yourself!,, they can’t do Miricles! You need to want to get better. . Do you? If not; stop wasting everyone’s times;
Theropist , exwife,child, and yourself !,
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What are you talking about? I'm single. You on drugs or something?
 
Sorry ?
I am on three post here at the same time and they all seemed to run over each other!
I will make the same point without the family issues. iIf you are an active alcoholic all I have therapy is good for is comfort drugs for the anxiety,depression, and hang overs from that fucking disease of alcoholisim!,
Again sorry, late here, too tired to continue you. Good night
 
nuttynutskin said:
How old are you now?

And yeah parents can mess their kids up. I feel like I have had some narcissistic and neurotic qualities passed on. I'm thinking of maybe working with a therapist again but I'm not sure.
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Im 35, i have also noticed some passed on. I have always been a very cold person who kept my emotions in check
Now i am doing therapy for many reasons but my mother is brought up ALOT.
 
Wow... another thread about narcissism that I'm responding to today. BL must be having a theme week :)

Yes, one of my parents was a narcissist, but a covert narcissist. He cared about his children but was full of self-loathing and used self-deprication, guilt and emotional manipulation to get energy and care because he felt like he couldn't do anything in life on his own. Unfortunately, my entire family fell apart by the time I was 20 because the way he controlled my mother and his children was non-sustainable. The home I grew up in was mostly pure psychological and emotional warfare. Everything was constantly beneath the surface.

I moved about 3000km away from my family when I was 21 to go to school. It was a good break for me, but I was very hurt. Unfortunately, my upbringing made me susceptible to narcissists. As a gay man, the shitty thing about being raised by a narcissist father is that he was my first male role model, so in my 20's it was easy to accept narcissist partners into my life. And that's what happened.

It has taken years of therapy to truly repair my attachment style and begin to recognize when I am letting unhealthy people in. It has been very hard but I am now coming out the other end of it. I see my value a lot more clearly now and will protect myself accordingly. When you don't understand the pattern, you will underestimate your worth because you are used to accommodating and nurturing emotionally unavailable people in order to experience some security, and so you will more easily accept these kinds of relationships in your life. You will negotiate with inappropriate relationships and with people who will never, ever truly love you because they are incapable of healthy love. At this point, I say no to people who can't show healthy attachment and affection. I've got no time for them.

I got really ill in my late 20's, lasting for 4 years, after my engagement to a narc got broken off. He wasn't the reason for my disease but he was a catalyst. Even though I have been through utter hell and near-death multiple times, part of the gold that I mined from this period of torture was that my body was so weak that I could feel, in my guts, when someone was draining me. If I didn't say no, they would make me physically ill. So now, my body will physically tell me if someone is toxic, even if my mind has delusional hopes about them. If my body doesn't feel good then I need to stay away. I can smell narcs a mile away now and my boundaries go right up. No rationale required. In fact, I have given up on my analytical mind in this department. My other faculties are dead accurate.
 
So I guess my mom talked to my dad today (they're divorced) and she mentioned family counseling and he said that's a bunch of shit and got up and left. lol That pretty much illustrates what I've been saying to her for a long time, that we can't have a serious conversation about anything without him losing his shit.
 
This might be more suited for a blog but oh well...

Currently feeling like I'm being used, or trying to be used anyways. He's messing with my money again and wants me to help him and have all of this sympathy for him when he doesn't give a shit about what I think about anything. It's a nice deal for him I guess if he has someone here to do things he can't do because he's let himself get into such bad shape, and have more money for the house payments. Never in my life did I think I'd be in such a degrading situation. The one good thing is my doctor knows the situation and I think has some say regarding ssi and such. Because if it were up to him I should just be his butler and never have a life of my own. I want to be self reliant but I have a long way to go no thanks to him.
 
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nuttynutskin said:
I think I would've offed myself a long time ago if it wasn't for my mother.
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Oh boy can I relate to this. She’s was the only person there for me in my time of need and if it wasn’t for her I would most certainly be dead.
 
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