Trying to make sense of "cannibis induced psychosis"

[washingtonbound]

Hi all, I wanted to post this thread to try and make sense of a recent episode I had over the summer. Quick history: I'm 20, no history of mental illness in the family, no past psychotic or unusual episodes prior to this one, and overall stable upbringing. In general, no reason to believe that anything like this would have occurred beforehand.

I spent the year before it happened at school in Seattle and ramped up my cannabis consumption considerably. I went from smoking a couple times a month to every day in a relatively short period of time. However, I didn't notice any drastic changes in my mood with the exception of the fact that I was always a little bit harder on myself when I wasn't smoking. There were always a lot of "should you's" running through my mind that were often irrelevant to the big picture. Still, I didn't perceive it to be anything other than the usual growing up process. Everyone goes through periods of self doubt and self discovery during this time so I didn't see any real cause to be concerned. Weed seemed to be an effective way to delineate my thought patterns and helped me to live more spontaneously and with less rigid guidelines on myself. I just figured: It's helpful, so "why not." I maintained decent grades in school and held a job and internship for the majority of the year.

Some unfortunate circumstances led me to relocate back home to SW FL over the summer (I had a terrible roommate), and I knew almost immediately that it was a bad idea. I no longer had access to anywhere near as many resources as I did in Seattle and found myself ruminating in my own thoughts. My parents live in a small primarily retirement community in SW FL and it was a hard adjustment. Still, I did not anticipate what was to come.

One day I was sitting in my guesthouse smoking like normal with my friend and all of a sudden: BOOM. It was like all my senses were suddenly turned on overdrive. Patterns on the wall became more fascinating and I felt like I was merging into the environment. Note that I have taken a few psychedelics in the past and never experienced such a profound cognitive shift. Soon after I began talking like a computer and became very fixated on zeros and ones. "Equilibrium" and "Infinity" were common themes in my writings. Eventually my Mother became concerned and called the fire department because I wasn't sleeping and was acting erratic. Long story short, I was baker acted and spent 10 days in a mental hospital.

After that the paranoia really set in. I began to believe that the NSA could tap into your thought patterns and that psychiatric institutions were set up to lobotomize the population. It seems that anti-government sentiment is present in the majority of "manic" episodes, which I find intriguing.
Now I find myself much more interested in cosmology and using mathematics to explain the universe. I consider myself to have grown intellectually through that experience and don't consider it entirely detrimental. Although I wouldn't want to behave in such an intense manner, I think it's important not to write off an episode like that as the bantering of some nutjob. In my opinion, the entire concept of mental health needs to be reassessed.
Thanks for reading.

 

[jeremysdemo]

it's a real thing, it's been documented,

the cannabinoid center of the brain is influential in regulating everything from digestion to the central nervous system to the immune system.

look up the term "cannabinoid withdrawal" on Pubmed. it happens when people come off from high doses cold turkey rather then step down, sends the whole system into a tailspin.

 

[Mogli123123]

I have experienced a difference in the way I think and feel since I've smoked marijuana. At first I would smoke with friends and it was so much fun. Then I would start to smoke by myself and I would smoke everyday. For about 6 months I smoked at least an eighth a day, and it was my life. Eventually, I needed to get my wisdom teeth pulled out and out of paranoia and worry that the weed would affect the intravenous sleep meds during my procedure, I had stopped all of a sudden. About 2 or 3 days of no smoking it was one day before my surgery, and that night I went through the initial panic attack that would start them all. My whole understanding of life went out the window. I had believed that I was not living in real life. That thought alone was terrifying to me, and I could not make sense of who, or what I was, or where I was. I started to cry and could not stop. My dad was stunned when he tried to talk to me, because i couldn't even explain to him what I was going through. I felt as if I couldn't even recognize my own father's face. And I felt like I was dying, and each second was agony for me. Not knowing when or even if this feeling would subside, I was in a state where my whole body was numb, I lost my apetite, and I was in panic. I have no idea what set this thought off in my head, maybe it was pre-surgery anxiety, maybe it was weed, maybe it was a mixture, or maybe it was something else. What I can say though, is that since that day, I have been to 4 different outpatient programs, I am on prozac, buspar, and gabapentin. The thing that I'm trying to say is that even now, given all the medical help, and meds, I have just found a way to suppress these feelings. My whole belief on whatever life is has changed. I have just found a way to keep it in check. I still don't know what life is, whether this is real, whether I am real, and what happens if you die. I question suicide at times, and I even have gotten close by overdosing a few times. I even ask myself at times if it's possible that I've died already and I'm living in an alternate world, maybe even some sort of life that isn't the one I was originally born into. I don't know who I am, and everything in my life has changed. I find little pleasure in the things I used to, and even drugs and alcohol don't have the same effect for me. I always had this feeling of comfort knowing that drugs and alcohol were my way out of these feelings, now it seems like they just make me worse. I'm scared because I feel like i don't have a place of refuge in my life. I just try to go on day by day. Many things have lost its significance in my life, and I feel less motivated because I can't make sense of this whole thing. I don't know what is to blame here, but all I am saying is that I am in pain, and I don't know how or when it will stop

 

[Mafioso]

I have experienced a difference in the way I think and feel since I've smoked marijuana. At first I would smoke with friends and it was so much fun. Then I would start to smoke by myself and I would smoke everyday. For about 6 months I smoked at least an eighth a day, and it was my life. Eventually, I needed to get my wisdom teeth pulled out and out of paranoia and worry that the weed would affect the intravenous sleep meds during my procedure, I had stopped all of a sudden. About 2 or 3 days of no smoking it was one day before my surgery, and that night I went through the initial panic attack that would start them all. My whole understanding of life went out the window. I had believed that I was not living in real life. That thought alone was terrifying to me, and I could not make sense of who, or what I was, or where I was. I started to cry and could not stop. My dad was stunned when he tried to talk to me, because i couldn't even explain to him what I was going through. I felt as if I couldn't even recognize my own father's face. And I felt like I was dying, and each second was agony for me. Not knowing when or even if this feeling would subside, I was in a state where my whole body was numb, I lost my apetite, and I was in panic. I have no idea what set this thought off in my head, maybe it was pre-surgery anxiety, maybe it was weed, maybe it was a mixture, or maybe it was something else. What I can say though, is that since that day, I have been to 4 different outpatient programs, I am on prozac, buspar, and gabapentin. The thing that I'm trying to say is that even now, given all the medical help, and meds, I have just found a way to suppress these feelings. My whole belief on whatever life is has changed. I have just found a way to keep it in check. I still don't know what life is, whether this is real, whether I am real, and what happens if you die. I question suicide at times, and I even have gotten close by overdosing a few times. I even ask myself at times if it's possible that I've died already and I'm living in an alternate world, maybe even some sort of life that isn't the one I was originally born into. I don't know who I am, and everything in my life has changed. I find little pleasure in the things I used to, and even drugs and alcohol don't have the same effect for me. I always had this feeling of comfort knowing that drugs and alcohol were my way out of these feelings, now it seems like they just make me worse. I'm scared because I feel like i don't have a place of refuge in my life. I just try to go on day by day. Many things have lost its significance in my life, and I feel less motivated because I can't make sense of this whole thing. I don't know what is to blame here, but all I am saying is that I am in pain, and I don't know how or when it will stop

hey, I can't say for sure but I think that the lasting depersonalization that you are having may have something to do with the prescription drugs you are on. IME, they are more mind-numbing and personality-suppressing than heavy smoking is. I don't recommend cold turkey, but I do think tapering off to real sobriety will be more beneficial for you. IME, doctors are good at dealing with physical trauma and tangible disease- when it comes to matters of the mind I do not think your modern doctor is properly suited to deal with them and is actually trained to push pills. There is far too much monetary gain in the RX world for me to trust a doctors signature, and that is not just blind paranoia. RXs usually come with a great deal of side-effects as well, and I'd advise you to look carefully into the ones that pertain to you if you haven't already. I hope things get better for you.

to the OP, you are not alone in this experience. I have a very close friend who went through this. It was years ago, about 1 or 2 years out of high school and I had gone to visit my buddy at an out of state college. I had spent the past year working and had money saved up unlike most my broke college friends at the time so I was ready to live it up. I might have had more money but they definitely had more friends and I wanted to be a part. Anyways, I spent a ridiculous amount of money on weed- just freely sharing it with all my friends, mostly with my one old friend. For about 2 weeks we just drove around exploring places, getting stoned and eating tons of food and partying. Also, at some point during those 2 weeks my buddy's girlfriend broke up with him so he was pretty devastated and we were trying to get away from that as well. Anyways, after 2 weeks I had to go back home and my buddy started school again. We were both pretty new to smoking and in those 2 weeks were probably the most we had every smoked- probably like between 1-2 ounces a week.

Being that my buddy was a broke college student and that he had blown what little money he had when I was in town trying to "keep up" i guess, I'm positive he went practically cold turkey when I left. About a few weeks maybe a month later of not hearing from him(thought he was just tired of me or something) I got a call from his mom, asking me some questions about his behavior and saying that he was checked into a psych ward. Supposedly he wasn't sleeping and trying to convince all his teachers of massive conspiracy and so forth. This guy is one of my best friends and is by no means stupid- he graduated as a valedictorian from our high school, was an amazing pianist and so many other talents- although he quit many of the activities for long time after the incident, he has slowly picked some of them back up. Anyways... there was a lot of things going on in his life at the time, and most of them were negative stress like getting dumped, college stress, being in a new place far from home, and probably a bigger thing was also "losing his faith". I think much of the reason he ended up in the psych ward had to do with the fact that he was going to a christian university and started to believe other things. He was studying Greek and some heavy religious texts at the time and had a very interesting perspective on it all. Before all that happened though, his ideas(or the ones he shared) were rational, relatable, and understandable... afterwards I must admit he was doing things that even as his best friend made it hard for me to want to be around him. His logic was scattered and it was like he could no longer make sense of the simple things he had used to but almost like he didn't realize it. Doing things like listening to three different songs at once and saying that it sounded cool rather than chaos. I think his close family were very offended by his behavior at first because they didn't understand it. Looking back, I think it is clear that more weed, alcohol, and whatever drugs he was prescribed wasn't what he needed.

I've gone through similar periods myself.. although probably less intense. For me it has always been hard to say what is the root cause because I do have some trauma in my early childhood. I've dealt with suicidal thought and sever depression all my life that I can remember, and I really do mean that some of my earliest memories are self-hatred and suicidal thoughts. Personally I do not think about suicide anymore, but the thought/feeling does seem to persist from time to time but is "managed" by a drug habit, mostly just weed. Lately I've been undergoing a lot of emotional stress related to family, mostly my father's declining health and my parents living condition, but it has taken its toll on me. I feel unstable and out of control of my emotions. I tend to shut down as a means to cope, but sometimes I feel manic and out of control. I struggle with insomnia and abnormal sleeping patterns and habits. I experience problems with rage, and am afraid to let myself get too excited so I maintain a low baseline most of the time. Some days are harder than others, and seem to be stress related. Some days I wake up and feel ok, happy even or atleast able to cope. Others I wake up from nightmares in panic and sweat and it doesn't seem to subside for a day or two.

All that said to say that I know that smoking heavy doesn't solve the problem, but it will cover it up so to say. Diet, exercise, sobriety and music are the things that I've found that really helps me. Eating a ton of sugar makes it very difficult to control my anger. When I workout and eat healthy and clean, lots of protien(not too much tho) and nutrients and fiber, I will still feel anxious/sad but I feel much more in control and able/ready to handle it. Today I started the day with a joint, a soda, and a bag of chips after waking up drenched in sweat and panicky. I haven't left the house all day, probably smoked an 8th or more. When I opened the soda and bag of chips is when I felt like I could see it all coming. It may seem obvious to you, but I challenge to you watch to see if you cant find a relation between diet and emotion in your own life.

hold onto hope, the body has an ability to heal itself.

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

Yes the body does have a way to heal itself.

Talk to a medical professional or a psychologist/psychiatrist to see if you do have a mental issue that you need medication, or therapy for.

In the mean time eat right, stay sober, and avoid all drugs. Good luck.

 

[washingtonbound]

I think "mania" has a lot to do with going through difficult transitional periods in your life and not knowing how to deal with them. I moved to Seattle from a small, predominately retirement community in SW FL with the hopes of making lots of new friends and starting a fresh life. Unfortunately I made the mistake of attending a small Jesuit university due to its location which proved to clash with my values. As somebody who is highly distrusting of organized religion I found the dorm environment very unpleasant. Anyway, throughout that year I had a couple terrible experiences with girls, made minimal friends with the exception of my drug dealer and a psycho roommate who vandalized my property. Point being, I understand what you're saying about these stressors causing emotional difficulties because at a young age it can be very taxing on development. I see it as being a matter of having too many "negative energies" in your life that causes people to fall out of equilibrium and escalate into mania or other undesired mind states. After something like this happens it's important to keep life as simple as possible and take things one step at a time until you start feeling "yourself" again.