Tripping with boyfriend for the first time?

[sanfrancisco]

okay so my boyfriend and i have just started getting back together after being broken up for a few months. a while ago he cheated on me and then we broke up and he started dating the girl he cheated on me with (but he broke up with her a few months ago). we never talked but any time he took acid he would text me and tell me how much he missed me and how when he trips im the only person he can think about (which he says is what made him realize he needed to break up with the girl he cheated on me with because he tripped with her and could only think about me) even if he's with other people and how he really really regrets fucking things up between us so badly. the first time he ever tripped, we were still dating and he told me i was so pure and good and that he loved me. he said he had had all these feelings before, but the acid brought them to the surface and made things more clear. he has matured a lot in the months we have been apart and has really made an effort in our relationship now and things are going really great. i have decided in a few weeks to try acid with him for the first time (my first time). the only thing i am worried about is is there a possibility of the negative emotions i felt when he cheated arising again and making this a bad experience for both of us? my friend told me tripping with your boyfriend/girlfriend bonds you in an unexplainable way and makes you so much closer and your love is intensified (given that it is already there to begin with).

 

[Bearlove]

If your worried about it - don't do it! Tripping with a loved one (when your both on the same wavelength) can be such a beautiful experience but that is normally because there are no barriers between you going into the experience. If you still have such strong negative emotions linking acid and your boyfriend then is may not be the best time to trip together.

Reading your post makes me wonder - do you actually love him? Have you taken MDMA before ? Could be much more beneficial in this type of scenario as your able to chat about your emotions and feelings much more freely than you can on LSD (for a first timer). I know that 'first timer' may sound like I'm being condescending but it's not meant that way at all - your first time will be intense and you should go into this with a clear head and not an agenda that you have to discuss x y z.

Welcome to the site by the way, I hope you find some answers to your questions.

 

[augustaB]

I would agree with Bearlove that mdma would probably be a more useful drug in this situation.

 

[pofacedhoe]

yeah i dunno- tripping is amazing and it does bond you with people and on the other hand mdma is better for situations with possible overwhelming negative emotions. i feel tripping is a more honest reflection of how you feel. that is if you get actual lsd as there are some very dodgy nbome tabs that are not advisable to go near as they have a terrible safety profile with unpredictable deaths linked not to dosing in any linear fashion. one time a tab is fine another time death from half the previous dose etc.

i feel like mdma could make me forgive and forget where acid could make me forgive but not forget. i prefer to stick with my own honest emotions. mdma is great for getting over someone and putting shit behind you like war (pstd).

at the same time this is turning into a "should i take it thread". very close to a what should i take thread and really we can only offer you so much guidance.

 

[dapinitial]

okay so my boyfriend and i have just started getting back together after being broken up for a few months. a while ago he cheated on me and then we broke up and he started dating the girl he cheated on me with (but he broke up with her a few months ago). we never talked but any time he took acid he would text me and tell me how much he missed me and how when he trips im the only person he can think about (which he says is what made him realize he needed to break up with the girl he cheated on me with because he tripped with her and could only think about me) even if he's with other people and how he really really regrets fucking things up between us so badly. the first time he ever tripped, we were still dating and he told me i was so pure and good and that he loved me. he said he had had all these feelings before, but the acid brought them to the surface and made things more clear. he has matured a lot in the months we have been apart and has really made an effort in our relationship now and things are going really great. i have decided in a few weeks to try acid with him for the first time (my first time). the only thing i am worried about is is there a possibility of the negative emotions i felt when he cheated arising again and making this a bad experience for both of us? my friend told me tripping with your boyfriend/girlfriend bonds you in an unexplainable way and makes you so much closer and your love is intensified (given that it is already there to begin with).

Welcome to Bluelight. I've never used drugs [besides alcohol and tobacco] with someone I was intimate with ever so what do I know. Take this advice with a grain of salt [and call me in the morrow, the BlueLight way].

Anyways... I am as conflicted as you [seemingly] are by reading what you wrote. I would take your friends' advice about what using drugs with a significant other means and how it can "bond you" in an unbelievable way with CAUTION (as you already are). What they are explaining is something shared between two people who are sharing something sacred together an are holding their relationship in high regard already. I'm no psychologist though, and I'm probably just a hater.

I know this is not my place but I am going to write anyways as an impartial third party from the outside looking in since you allowed me this opportunity to peer in and this is my first post. I joined BL in 2000 and I've grown a lot and drugs have not been a part of any of my encounters nor experiences that I've shared with those whom I've shared attraction with.

As lovely as I am sure it would be to take you out on a date this afternoon, I think that your feelings of apprehension are the intuition you need to guide you AWAY from these troubling scenarios.

There's no magic pill to bring you closer and make your love intensify. If there were me and Rosario Dawson, Selma Hayek, Angelina Jolie, Janeane Garofalo, Lisa Loeb, Esthero, Tori Amos, Alanis Morissett, the girl from the transformers movie, etc would all be in a very compatible and working, polyamorous relationship.

It sounds like the chick he left you for didn't want him anymore and you left the door open for him to come back in. Loneliness sucks. He's no one special and didn't treat you especially special from your recount.

My final thoughts: If you really want to try drugs, and there's no reason to, unless you really want to, you owe it to yourself to go into it at your best and with strength and not be vulnerable to unsavory emotions. If you want it to have a purpose and mean something, then make it mean something to you and if you want to share it with someone, share the experience with someone who deserves such an honor and you can trust and depend on. You deserve better. You are better.

-dp

 

[I cup]

You are thinking about it and worrying about it soberly, then it will dominate your mind when tripping .......

 

[Vastness]

OP, I know this wasn't the question you asked, and obviously I have no right to tell you how to live your life, even though that is exactly what I'm about to do, but in my opinion you need to break up with this guy and move on. Definitely don't do any drugs with him because they will not help anything. So he regrets some things, that's great but people are not and should not be judged by what they regret, but what they have actually done, and this guy's actions do not paint a good picture of his character. I understand that, sadly, people do cheat, and many times people try to fix relationships after someone cheats. I think this is almost always a bad idea, obviously life is one big grey area, but look at the situation for what it is. It's not like he cheated on you once when he was drunk and then you broke up because of that. He cheated on you and then STARTED DATING THE PERSON HE CHEATED ON YOU WITH, then when that didn't work out he decided to try to get back with you.

If you can forgive that good for you, but after that you need to also forget, and forget him, because any other path is simply prolonging the inevitable... and when the inevitable happens I guarantee you will feel stupid for not taking the hint the first time.



Also, just as a somewhat related point of interest, to everyone suggesting MDMA would be a better drug for this situation, MDMA is not a guarantee of openness and honesty, and could just as easily lull you into a false sense of security. I dated a girl a while ago who I strongly suspected of cheating on me, but at the time could not confirm, and in a misguided effort to repair the relationship I did MDMA with her (followed by many other drugs over the course of the weekend). During the height of the MDMA experience she flat out lied to my face, saying she would never do something like that to me and all kinds of other shit but in the long run that was just the beginning of another few months of everything getting more and more fucked up and toxic.

If you need to use or are considering using drugs to repair trust, the relationship is broken, and drugs will not fix it.

And to answer your question more directly, you should not do drugs with people who have given you a reason not to trust them.

 

[sanfrancisco]

OP, I know this wasn't the question you asked, and obviously I have no right to tell you how to live your life, even though that is exactly what I'm about to do, but in my opinion you need to break up with this guy and move on. Definitely don't do any drugs with him because they will not help anything. So he regrets some things, that's great but people are not and should not be judged by what they regret, but what they have actually done, and this guy's actions do not paint a good picture of his character. I understand that, sadly, people do cheat, and many times people try to fix relationships after someone cheats. I think this is almost always a bad idea, obviously life is one big grey area, but look at the situation for what it is. It's not like he cheated on you once when he was drunk and then you broke up because of that. He cheated on you and then STARTED DATING THE PERSON HE CHEATED ON YOU WITH, then when that didn't work out he decided to try to get back with you.

If you can forgive that good for you, but after that you need to also forget, and forget him, because any other path is simply prolonging the inevitable... and when the inevitable happens I guarantee you will feel stupid for not taking the hint the first time.



Also, just as a somewhat related point of interest, to everyone suggesting MDMA would be a better drug for this situation, MDMA is not a guarantee of openness and honesty, and could just as easily lull you into a false sense of security. I dated a girl a while ago who I strongly suspected of cheating on me, but at the time could not confirm, and in a misguided effort to repair the relationship I did MDMA with her (followed by many other drugs over the course of the weekend). During the height of the MDMA experience she flat out lied to my face, saying she would never do something like that to me and all kinds of other shit but in the long run that was just the beginning of another few months of everything getting more and more fucked up and toxic.

If you need to use or are considering using drugs to repair trust, the relationship is broken, and drugs will not fix it.

And to answer your question more directly, you should not do drugs with people who have given you a reason not to trust them.

I'm sorry, I was not asking for advice on my relationship? The "inevitable" is not going to happen, and I'm not going to feel stupid for not taking the hint the first time. I understand that posting this made me willingly subject myself to this kind of response, but I don't think you really have any right to come and tell me what is going to happen in MY relationship. I wasn't trying to fix my relationship via drugs, I am aware that will do more harm than good. We have been through a lot together, but we sure as hell don't need any "fixing." Sorry you had a girlfriend that lied to you, but I actually trust and love my boyfriend on or off drugs.

 

[Pretty_Diamonds]

To answer your question...
There IS a possibility that negative feelings will arise, since you do still have some right?

However, you are in control of your own thoughts and feelings. You love him... and if the love is strong, that's what you'll feel. Acid does give you a crazy sense of control and clarity.. which is weird because you don't expect that at all from psychedelics. Just go into with a positive and happy mind. Have some trippy movies set aside, nice music, and just some nice quiet bonding time. I think you'll be fine. Maybe even record yourselves!! That's always fun to watch back. Haha. Happy tripping!!

 

[Vastness]

I'm sorry, I was not asking for advice on my relationship? The "inevitable" is not going to happen, and I'm not going to feel stupid for not taking the hint the first time. I understand that posting this made me willingly subject myself to this kind of response, but I don't think you really have any right to come and tell me what is going to happen in MY relationship. I wasn't trying to fix my relationship via drugs, I am aware that will do more harm than good. We have been through a lot together, but we sure as hell don't need any "fixing." Sorry you had a girlfriend that lied to you, but I actually trust and love my boyfriend on or off drugs.

Sorry if I touched a nerve. Perhaps I am wrong, I just offer my opinion based on my own experience and interpretation of both statistics and human psychology. Obviously every relationship is different and yours may be the exception to the rule. Anyway it is of course your life to live however you choose, so good luck to you.

 

[BiG StroOnZ]

Rule number one of breaking up. Move on to the next one. Keep them in your phone for sex, but no strings attached. Next.

 

[opiatekrzy]

Acid definetly brings out all emotions that you feel, and enhances them by 1000x. So if you have painful memories or thoughts that are not resolved, hell even if they are resolved, you may as well have polluted yourself already and the acid will indeed bring them out, in what manner? I have no clue, only your conscious knows, it can go good or go conpletely south. I first took acid totally unaware that that it intensified emotions, and yes even the bad ones! I was definetly not ready for that at all, and was very difficult to get through. LSD for me atleast, is a very dangerous chemical given my history of drug abuse and all the other bullshit that goes along with it, drama, heart break, etc...MDMA like the one poster said would be a beautiful experience for you and him, to help heal and mend unresolved issues. Acid is a potential accident waiting to happen,