Mental Health Tough enough?

[knightworrier]

So after a spate of issues. ranging from ross river to Trigeminal Nueralgia... Oh lets not forget the aenyurism and brain tumor. Least my heart has a internal device. I should be so lucky.
I use o be a dancer. I use to have a good life. This isn't leadig anywhere great. I lost 2 best friends this year and I think of em everyday. I saw them 20-30 minutes before they passed I was sent photos (What to comfort me?) Anyways I can't go on anti-depressants because they straight out cause me to be suicidal. But what am I supposed to do i feel like I got on a plane and I'm not in the cockpit.
You know that scene in fight club where he just hopes the plane will tear apart because his mudane life is wishing for any change! That's sorta how I feel. Another 5am walk for me.
And lucky for me I live in a wanky suburb full of stuck up bastards So they call the police if someone is even walking at night. Days are simply getting harder. And Australia has had 1 f**ing day of sunlight and it's Nov wth is goin on.
Maybe move to W.A. No one needs me at all anymore here they have squeezed the last of the life outta me.
Any suggestions.. New doc, New state, New country Better medical care, Ditch all friends (most are fake anyway - I'm seen as free dancer for party!) Or someone is lonely and hasn't contacted me for months so they hit me up and expect me to hang around. I have been hurt way to many times. All viable options but with my messed up thinking I have please throw me any ideas.
How to sleep after seeing friend shot in head, Electrocuted and cliff fall? How do the images leave?
Cheers for hearin me out.
Peace. NW. 8(

 

[nuttynutskin]

Damn, not sure what to tell you at the moment. Pm me if you need someone to talk to.

 

[herbavore]

Sometimes when you really need a change it can be unclear what needs to change most--inside or outside? Since it is a lot harder to change outside (moving, new doctors, new friends) you could start with inside and see where that leads you. You have a lot of major health issues but it sounds like you are not getting the medical care that you need. It is quite possible that if you have a brain tumor that is messing with your ability to think and feel like "you are in the cockpit". What is the treatment or prognosis for the tumor?