youvebeenliedto
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Nov 2, 2016
- Messages
- 3
Ok - so I'm an idiot. Apparently underestimated this Molly and I took it incorrectly. I slowly took dips throughout the night so didn't get to the roll as quickly as I was used to and before I knew it the gram was gone. Thing is the roll was clear - I was calm, smooth and everything that makes rolling amazing. I slept great that night and the next afternoon nap was superb, all while feeling like my normal self.
On the 2nd day I had a panic attack while worrying about the health of my girlfriend and it triggered a very intense rush that left me feeling nauseous, sweaty, with crazy heart palpations that left my body vibrating. I was fucking wired. The next day came and went and my girlfriends health was good, so that worry was out of my mind and there was no reason to worry about it anymore. Or so I thought.
Days after that event I noticed that I was experiencing weird sleep paralysis consistently and wasn't getting deep sleep. I really took note after about the 3rd day I woke up about 2 hours into my sleep with my heart beating out of my chest and having my body vibrate out of control. A panic attack while sleeping? WTF is this? For the next 2 weeks I battled trying to take melotonin, sleep naturally, drink alcohol or whatever I could do to sleep normally, but 95% of the time I'd either just be in sleep paralysis or wake up an hour into my sleep having a fucking panic attack. I was experiencing weird heart flutters/palpitations when I finally laid down and would only focus on my heart beat and it almost felt like something was out of rhythm which gave me vertigo when I'd close my eyes. Which then triggers anxiety and then no sleep. Fucking sucks.
I went to the doctor and told him what I've been experiencing and how I got here. He prescribed me klonopin to hopefully "flush out whatever anxiety is in there and get good sleep." I didn't like the idea but I was really wanting sleep so I took some klonopin for 4 days in a row. Slept like a champ! Felt great until the last day and decided to get back on a natural schedule due to the brain "fog" and just see if I could sleep normally. No chance in hell my brain was allowing that. I tried to sleep naturally for a week by just getting to the point of mere exhaustion, I'd get a little rest here and there, but still wouldn't get deep sleep for very long and always woke up with heart palpitations and a vibrating feeling throughout my body. Once again from anxiety attacks in my sleep! How the hell do I get to my subconscious to clear my head? I'm usually a pretty even keel guy and know how to be cool calm collected. Almost like my dreams trigger a panic attack. Now the thought of that is causing more anxiety and is making sleeping nearly impossible. Anxiety from anxiety. Awesome.
On the few occasions I do get deep sleep I feel wonderful. My memory works, my cognition, reaction time and overall sense of well being are very positive which makes me think it's not my serotonin. When things get rough and I just need rest I do dip into the klonopin and have taken a total of 12 (avoiding as much as possible). To this day and I have gotten to deep sleep naturally about 5 times over the past month and a half. The other nights have just been terrible nights of sleep/sleep paralysis. I feel like my heart beats are way more accentuated, my chest is tight and I'm just overall in a shitty mood because I'm not getting rest. This is still happening to this day so I'm going to the doctor today to get an EKG and see if I have an arrhythmia or something going on with my heart. Also test my thyroid and whatever else he can think of. He wants to try Zoloft next and I'm like NO FUCKING WAY. I'd almost rather roll correctly again to see if I can truly flush this out and relax. You know a little hair of the dog (kidding...kind of) before getting on antidepressants.
If this is all just anxiety then I must say that I don't wish this on my worst enemy. I've always slept like a champ but have been kicked in the nuts with something that I took for granted. Sleep. Whatever this is. It fucking sucks. I've quit alcohol, caffeine, sugars and am exercising, taking vitamins and trying natural aids for sleeping. Weed now gives me anxiety but did find out CBD helps as of yesterday. So I'm going to try and mix CBD with valerian root and melotonin to see if it gets me to sleep. Even a few hours of peace at this point without benzos is all I want. But I look forward to getting 8 hours of natural deep sleep with no heart palpitations when I wake up.
That's my molly story. And it feels good to just get it out. Don't fuck with this drug. Peace and roll safe.
UPDATE 1: I forgot to mention that I tripped mushrooms a week ago to flush my brain. Trip was awesome but didn't solve my sleep disorder.
UPDATE 2: Went to the doctor and was diagnosed with panic disorder. He prescribed me Zoloft to level my serotonin for 4 months to take me out of this loop. That's depressing. Going to try a natural approach for as long as I can.
UPDATE 3: While CBD oil calmed me down the melotonin and valerian root didn't get me to deep sleep. Woke up again with the vibrating feeling and took a ZzzQuil at 11pm. Slept like a log until 5am. Yay.
On the 2nd day I had a panic attack while worrying about the health of my girlfriend and it triggered a very intense rush that left me feeling nauseous, sweaty, with crazy heart palpations that left my body vibrating. I was fucking wired. The next day came and went and my girlfriends health was good, so that worry was out of my mind and there was no reason to worry about it anymore. Or so I thought.
Days after that event I noticed that I was experiencing weird sleep paralysis consistently and wasn't getting deep sleep. I really took note after about the 3rd day I woke up about 2 hours into my sleep with my heart beating out of my chest and having my body vibrate out of control. A panic attack while sleeping? WTF is this? For the next 2 weeks I battled trying to take melotonin, sleep naturally, drink alcohol or whatever I could do to sleep normally, but 95% of the time I'd either just be in sleep paralysis or wake up an hour into my sleep having a fucking panic attack. I was experiencing weird heart flutters/palpitations when I finally laid down and would only focus on my heart beat and it almost felt like something was out of rhythm which gave me vertigo when I'd close my eyes. Which then triggers anxiety and then no sleep. Fucking sucks.
I went to the doctor and told him what I've been experiencing and how I got here. He prescribed me klonopin to hopefully "flush out whatever anxiety is in there and get good sleep." I didn't like the idea but I was really wanting sleep so I took some klonopin for 4 days in a row. Slept like a champ! Felt great until the last day and decided to get back on a natural schedule due to the brain "fog" and just see if I could sleep normally. No chance in hell my brain was allowing that. I tried to sleep naturally for a week by just getting to the point of mere exhaustion, I'd get a little rest here and there, but still wouldn't get deep sleep for very long and always woke up with heart palpitations and a vibrating feeling throughout my body. Once again from anxiety attacks in my sleep! How the hell do I get to my subconscious to clear my head? I'm usually a pretty even keel guy and know how to be cool calm collected. Almost like my dreams trigger a panic attack. Now the thought of that is causing more anxiety and is making sleeping nearly impossible. Anxiety from anxiety. Awesome.
On the few occasions I do get deep sleep I feel wonderful. My memory works, my cognition, reaction time and overall sense of well being are very positive which makes me think it's not my serotonin. When things get rough and I just need rest I do dip into the klonopin and have taken a total of 12 (avoiding as much as possible). To this day and I have gotten to deep sleep naturally about 5 times over the past month and a half. The other nights have just been terrible nights of sleep/sleep paralysis. I feel like my heart beats are way more accentuated, my chest is tight and I'm just overall in a shitty mood because I'm not getting rest. This is still happening to this day so I'm going to the doctor today to get an EKG and see if I have an arrhythmia or something going on with my heart. Also test my thyroid and whatever else he can think of. He wants to try Zoloft next and I'm like NO FUCKING WAY. I'd almost rather roll correctly again to see if I can truly flush this out and relax. You know a little hair of the dog (kidding...kind of) before getting on antidepressants.
If this is all just anxiety then I must say that I don't wish this on my worst enemy. I've always slept like a champ but have been kicked in the nuts with something that I took for granted. Sleep. Whatever this is. It fucking sucks. I've quit alcohol, caffeine, sugars and am exercising, taking vitamins and trying natural aids for sleeping. Weed now gives me anxiety but did find out CBD helps as of yesterday. So I'm going to try and mix CBD with valerian root and melotonin to see if it gets me to sleep. Even a few hours of peace at this point without benzos is all I want. But I look forward to getting 8 hours of natural deep sleep with no heart palpitations when I wake up.
That's my molly story. And it feels good to just get it out. Don't fuck with this drug. Peace and roll safe.
UPDATE 1: I forgot to mention that I tripped mushrooms a week ago to flush my brain. Trip was awesome but didn't solve my sleep disorder.
UPDATE 2: Went to the doctor and was diagnosed with panic disorder. He prescribed me Zoloft to level my serotonin for 4 months to take me out of this loop. That's depressing. Going to try a natural approach for as long as I can.
UPDATE 3: While CBD oil calmed me down the melotonin and valerian root didn't get me to deep sleep. Woke up again with the vibrating feeling and took a ZzzQuil at 11pm. Slept like a log until 5am. Yay.