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thinking of others while having sex.

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schmecker

Ex-Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 18, 2013
Messages
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Just curious what the view is of having sex with yoyr current partner but thinking of your ex.

I've broken up with someone who was going to be my wife but if I'm honest I've never got over my previous partner & alot of the time I would get fed up during actual intercourse & would close my eyes then imagine I was doing it with someone else.

Is it wrong or a form of cheating?
I should add here I've NEVER actually cheated on anyone in a physical way.

I guess thinking of a famous person is ok but I am not sure about a person you've actually been physically sexually active with.
 
Emotional cheating?

If your partner knew this, would they be happy? No, it's not appropriate.
 
I don't think it matters that you're fantasising during sex at all. I think what matters is what you've admitted that you're not emotionally over your ex. However this too is usual for at least a time after breaking up and I don't think its wrong of you, you can't help your feelings, but it should be something you work to get past at least if you want to move on with your life. You may be able to handle this by yourself but if you cannot then confide in your partner. She will like the fact you told her a deep emotional secret and that you and she are intimate enough for you to trust her with this.
 
There's no way I could tell Miss2 I was thinking if miss1 during sex, they hate each other & are jealous of each other to a crazy level.

It wasn't untill my mid 20's I began to explore my sexuality & it began with miss1 & luck turned out miss2 was also into my new kink alot deeper than miss1 so the sexual aspects of these relationships runs so deep & they make cheap insults at each other along the lines of "he didn't do xxx when he was with you, it was me that taught him that" etc.
God my nuts would be on a plate next to my head if miss2 found the truth.

Pretty diamonds.
Are you male or female?
 
Please don't be offended by me asking this but were all open minded adults here but have you ever done the same thing that I do?

Also how would you react if your future husband said that to you?the main issue with it is she has extreme issues with body image.
When we first got together she was 15 stone & had a gastric sleeve operation so now she looks in the eyes of society far more "average" but still has issues with appearance & any other female I look at is due to the fact she is a fat pig (HER WORDS btw, not mine or my opinion. I judge people mainly by their level of empathic qualities)

I hope you understand how telling her would crush her confidence & I feel would be a very horrible thing to do.
 
Don't worry, I'm not offended. I have NEVER. But then again, I've only been with one person, my one true love. <3. I would DIE if my boyfriend ever said that to me. I mean, I would be totally and completely CRUSHED.

I definitely would not suggesting telling your girl by all means. Keep that shit to yourself, but since you know it's inappropriate--you need to reevaluate what you want.
 
If you can't cum, it's ok to fantasize about other women. If you are gonna cum too quick, it's ok to do math in your head.
 
I've never gotten this behavior. Not because I think it's wrong. It's because I never even consider it.
Thinking about tying up my ex-ex-ex-girlfriend while I'm having sex with my current is too much for my brain. I need to concentrate. Maybe I'm just dumb.
 
This is actually very common and a lot of people do it, and it's not cheating. Sometimes it's just sharing a fantasy with a sexual partner(s), or other times it just happens.
 
I can't help it other. Maybe its got to do with the disproportionate amount of time watching porn during meth fun days compared with actually having sex with my gf. I'd inadvertently start thinking about my favourite porn star of the moment, and trying to get my gf to get into the same position as the scene that I am imagining. I feel guilty as hell afterwards but it gets me off in the heat of the moment!
 
I would say that's probably got a lot to do with it. In your case, at least.
The inescapable porn obsession that comes with meth use is typically a precursor for a handful of harmless to somewhat harmful behaviors.
I would put this in the relatively harmless section. Better to act out some porn scene with your girl than have a 48 hour wank session. IMO.
 
I find it a bit odd when wanking and the only person you can think about is your partner
 
^Anyone that expects that of them self and/or their partner is delusional, IMO.
I don't think there's anything wrong with using porn or mental images of others besides your SO to get yourself off.
It's a pretty harmless means to an end. Emotional cheating is a concept I have a hard time buying into.
 
Yeah I guess it would be weird if my boyfriend was fantasizing about his ex while having sex with me. If he wasn't fully over her ... then maybe we shouldn't be together. That's a sign.
But if it was maybe a famous person then that might be more "normal" or whatever, that would be okay with me. I mean not necessarily famous but maybe someone who was more a bit of a crush. We both have "crushes" ... I have certainly fantasized about my "celebcrush" (who I've actually met multiple times in person and he totally knows who I am) from time to time. My boyfriend probably knows that but it's simply a fantasy. Now if only that guy would be into a threesome... hahah.
 
schmecker said:
I've broken up with someone who was going to be my wife but if I'm honest I've never got over my previous partner & alot of the time I would get fed up
Click to expand...
you know ive tried to do this.. and i cant do it... its like my mind doesn't work.. yeah, sounds nuts, but i have no problem with the concept.. but it just doesn't work. my mind like cant transfer to someone else.. i dont know hope this makes sense.. masterbating i can role to whover i want but in intercouse im like stuck??
 
...whatever gets you to your peak while tickling your fancy.Only you wil feel guilty,IF you see as a wrong.Being that you are faithful and have never cheated on anyone,a simple "crazy" conversation w/ your partner will remain you at ease with nothing to worry.
 
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