I have had managed mental problems for most of my life and been very functional and successful in spite of them, but after some traumatic experiences a couple of years ago, they had gotten the better of me. Added to which my entire life fell apart in every direction, marriage, work, health, family.
I've come to the realization that psychedelics are unlike any other kind of drug, in this way: most drugs are taken with the aim to/effect of numbing the senses, easing pain, helping you reach a state where you can forget/ignore your problems. I think that maybe Psychedelics are not for making it hurt less, they are for healing! They bring problems into focus in newer and manageable, healthy ways. They are not a retreat, they are a tool for confronting anxieties which let you touch pain and problems in a way that seems more manageable and more safe. They do not promise comfort. I am convinced that this is what makes them effective at healing, because they are not shortcuts.
Think of it this way, other drugs you take when you are hurting and feeling badly because they offer comfort. They don't ask you to put in any work like set and setting, they actually seem to offer the most reward when you're sad and hurting. Psychedelics on the other hand, reflect back a lot of what you bring with you. You don't want to take them in a state of anxiety and immediate distress because it will manifest in an anxious and distressing experience.
You surround yourself with comfort, peace, curiosity, a little bravery, a little confidence and feed yourself those things to take care of your set and setting so that when the drugs open your mind, you carry that strength with you, especially if your mind decides to take a closer look at painful or stressful things. I firmly believe that unlike other drugs, with psychedelics, you are the one providing all the comfort and reward. The substance is just the tool. And because you are actually doing the work of healing yourself and accomplishing something, you are actually making yourself better when they wear off, as opposed to just forgetting to feel bad until the drugs wear off. In this way, psychedelics don't naturally lend themselves to abuse, or at least have some built-in aspects which make them less easy to. They simply will not reward overuse because of tolerance, and will not reward general distress and unease in the moment because these things elicit 'bad' or unfulfilling trips. I know psychedelic abuse is possible, but it seems more like harm and side effects than the inevitable result of increased use.
I've gotten nothing out of alcohol or any other recreational drugs or prescription medications, because I am not looking for a painkiller. It doesn't satisfy. In fact, it just makes it harder not to be in a numbed state. I count myself as being very lucky that I never had to learn that lesson the hard way--i.e; only after addiction had caught me. So I have this huge swell of compassion and goodwill towards those of you who have gotten stuck in the grips of dependence and abuse. You have so much more to undo than I do, and it makes sober times and waking life so much harder when you've known such a difference between pain levels. I've never known the relief of opiates (or the high price of that relief), nor the discomfort of going without them.
When you talk about psychedelics, you're talking about medicine. You're talking about lucid dreaming, meditation, fasting, yoga, diet, exercise--all other names for the psychedelic drug experience, not the 'other' drug experience. The kind that is possible to use for good, healthy purposes. For real therapy and healing that will actually have a positive effect upon your waking life once the psychedelic has worn off, because it doesn't cheat you nor rob you when you don't have it, or reward your pain and discomfort.
Does this make sense?
I wish all of you a lot of goodwill and understanding and just giant crashing waves of self-worth. I am certain there is a hugely disproportionate amount of people in this community compared to the rest of society at large who, like me, are looking for solutions to (not shelter from) pain, depression, tragedy, loneliness, worthlessness, etc. We really need to look out for each other and to just extend that extra bit of tenderness and consideration. To take the time to remind one another that we will make an extra effort to listen to you, and not be judgemental or treat each other as dispassionately or roughly as we might in other groups or under other circumstances. You all have value to me in the short time I've been a member, and I think this place brings out a lot of the best in people. I don't see belittling judgements or insults, an eagerness to undermine each other. Maybe because most of you have gotten a lot closer look at things than people in general. Ego death? Addiction? Loss? Isolation? Maybe having known these things and the experiences you've had make you better at looking after one another? I don't know, I can't say for sure, but I have noticed that for thousands of anonymous strangers on the internet, who could treat each other badly without consequence, there seems to be a much higher standard for respect, honesty, empathy, and really listening to one another than I ever would've expected.
Proud to be among you. Thanks for just taking the time to make me feel like I have a place where I can go to be heard or to write things down and work things out when I need to, I don't have that in my real life.
I've come to the realization that psychedelics are unlike any other kind of drug, in this way: most drugs are taken with the aim to/effect of numbing the senses, easing pain, helping you reach a state where you can forget/ignore your problems. I think that maybe Psychedelics are not for making it hurt less, they are for healing! They bring problems into focus in newer and manageable, healthy ways. They are not a retreat, they are a tool for confronting anxieties which let you touch pain and problems in a way that seems more manageable and more safe. They do not promise comfort. I am convinced that this is what makes them effective at healing, because they are not shortcuts.
Think of it this way, other drugs you take when you are hurting and feeling badly because they offer comfort. They don't ask you to put in any work like set and setting, they actually seem to offer the most reward when you're sad and hurting. Psychedelics on the other hand, reflect back a lot of what you bring with you. You don't want to take them in a state of anxiety and immediate distress because it will manifest in an anxious and distressing experience.
You surround yourself with comfort, peace, curiosity, a little bravery, a little confidence and feed yourself those things to take care of your set and setting so that when the drugs open your mind, you carry that strength with you, especially if your mind decides to take a closer look at painful or stressful things. I firmly believe that unlike other drugs, with psychedelics, you are the one providing all the comfort and reward. The substance is just the tool. And because you are actually doing the work of healing yourself and accomplishing something, you are actually making yourself better when they wear off, as opposed to just forgetting to feel bad until the drugs wear off. In this way, psychedelics don't naturally lend themselves to abuse, or at least have some built-in aspects which make them less easy to. They simply will not reward overuse because of tolerance, and will not reward general distress and unease in the moment because these things elicit 'bad' or unfulfilling trips. I know psychedelic abuse is possible, but it seems more like harm and side effects than the inevitable result of increased use.
I've gotten nothing out of alcohol or any other recreational drugs or prescription medications, because I am not looking for a painkiller. It doesn't satisfy. In fact, it just makes it harder not to be in a numbed state. I count myself as being very lucky that I never had to learn that lesson the hard way--i.e; only after addiction had caught me. So I have this huge swell of compassion and goodwill towards those of you who have gotten stuck in the grips of dependence and abuse. You have so much more to undo than I do, and it makes sober times and waking life so much harder when you've known such a difference between pain levels. I've never known the relief of opiates (or the high price of that relief), nor the discomfort of going without them.
When you talk about psychedelics, you're talking about medicine. You're talking about lucid dreaming, meditation, fasting, yoga, diet, exercise--all other names for the psychedelic drug experience, not the 'other' drug experience. The kind that is possible to use for good, healthy purposes. For real therapy and healing that will actually have a positive effect upon your waking life once the psychedelic has worn off, because it doesn't cheat you nor rob you when you don't have it, or reward your pain and discomfort.
Does this make sense?
I wish all of you a lot of goodwill and understanding and just giant crashing waves of self-worth. I am certain there is a hugely disproportionate amount of people in this community compared to the rest of society at large who, like me, are looking for solutions to (not shelter from) pain, depression, tragedy, loneliness, worthlessness, etc. We really need to look out for each other and to just extend that extra bit of tenderness and consideration. To take the time to remind one another that we will make an extra effort to listen to you, and not be judgemental or treat each other as dispassionately or roughly as we might in other groups or under other circumstances. You all have value to me in the short time I've been a member, and I think this place brings out a lot of the best in people. I don't see belittling judgements or insults, an eagerness to undermine each other. Maybe because most of you have gotten a lot closer look at things than people in general. Ego death? Addiction? Loss? Isolation? Maybe having known these things and the experiences you've had make you better at looking after one another? I don't know, I can't say for sure, but I have noticed that for thousands of anonymous strangers on the internet, who could treat each other badly without consequence, there seems to be a much higher standard for respect, honesty, empathy, and really listening to one another than I ever would've expected.
Proud to be among you. Thanks for just taking the time to make me feel like I have a place where I can go to be heard or to write things down and work things out when I need to, I don't have that in my real life.
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