• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: axe battler | xtcgrrrl | arrall

There is a possibility I'll never have sex not even once...

ItsclearlyFake

ItsclearlyFake

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 19, 2019
Messages
163
I don't write this in a victim mentality, I am well aware I could lose my v-card if I just simply hire prostitute.

But I am not that curious about the act itself, but rather the feeling of validation I imagine I will achieve when I am able to be attractive to a girl I find attractive in a such a way that she will want to have sex with me. I envision myself finishing the sex act and this dark cloud of feeling different and not enough just finally disappearing. That is the craving having sex at least one gives me.

My problem is that I have 0 motivation now to "force" myself to meet girls. I just go out sometimes (on my own mostly, but sometimes I hang out with friends maybe 1 a month, although this is very irregular) and if a conversation with a girl pops up, well then great, but if not I don't seek it.

In the same way, I don't think of "closing" by asking her number at the end of the conversation. I got sick of all those years watching and reading pick up material, I felt so brutally used and abused by this ideology and culture of seduction coaches, that I absolutely hate them now, their literature and culture makes you feel like you are broken or bad inside, and you need to do all kind of stuff to "becoming an attractive man". Fuck you im already attractive. Go sell your low-self esteem inducing material somewhere else.

At this point I am done with any kind of "game" or pick up act. Enough of the acts.

They say if you don't got game or you are natural and are introverted or have little social skills then you need to do pick up in order to have sex or else you are fucked. I tick much of those things, so since im not going to do pick up ever again, there is a possibility I will never have sex!

At first it would give me a lot of fears but lately I have started to surrender to it, and I think I can to a point where I can fully accept and love and respect myself without ever having sex not even once.

Think about it, if I don't want to have kids, why would I have to be the "weird" guy because of not having had sex? Sex is primarily to reproduce, if I dont want to reproduce, it's not that crazy to just to happen to not have sex. No reason to believe you are bad for it.
 
Last edited:
ItsclearlyFake said:
They say if you don't got game or you are natural and are introverted or have little social skills then you need to do pick up in order to have sex or else you are fucked.
Click to expand...
Not true at all. I personally PREFER introverts, and I understand/don’t mind if someone is lacking in social skills. I look for other things in a mate, such as intelligence and a good sense of humor. “Game” doesn’t even enter the conversation here.

Don’t worry so much, it’ll happen! :)
 
Seeking validation from the opposite sex in the way you are is probably precisely the reason you are not having success. Neediness is very unattractive.
 
Definitely right to knock all the pickup artist nonsense on the head though. Just being confident and showing the good parts of yourself is what will do it.

I would suggest that if you never make an active effort to ‘close the deal’ as it were then you will struggle though. Girls very very rarely go out of their way to make that advance as they’re getting offered dick all day every day and don’t need to.
 
ItsclearlyFake said:
I don't write this in a victim mentality, I am well aware I could lose my v-card if I just simply hire prostitute.

But I am not that curious about the act itself, but rather the feeling of validation I imagine I will achieve when I am able to be attractive to a girl I find attractive in a such a way that she will want to have sex with me. I envision myself finishing the sex act and this dark cloud of feeling different and not enough just finally disappearing. That is the craving having sex at least one gives me.

My problem is that I have 0 motivation now to "force" myself to meet girls. I just go out sometimes (on my own mostly, but sometimes I hang out with friends maybe 1 a month, although this is very irregular) and if a conversation with a girl pops up, well then great, but if not I don't seek it.

In the same way, I don't think of "closing" by asking her number at the end of the conversation. I got sick of all those years watching and reading pick up material, I felt so brutally used and abused by this ideology and culture of seduction coaches, that I absolutely hate them now, their literature and culture makes you feel like you are broken or bad inside, and you need to do all kind of stuff to "becoming an attractive man". Fuck you im already attractive. Go sell your low-self esteem inducing material somewhere else.

At this point I am done with any kind of "game" or pick up act. Enough of the acts.

They say if you don't got game or you are natural and are introverted or have little social skills then you need to do pick up in order to have sex or else you are fucked. I tick much of those things, so since im not going to do pick up ever again, there is a possibility I will never have sex!

At first it would give me a lot of fears but lately I have started to surrender to it, and I think I can to a point where I can fully accept and love and respect myself without ever having sex not even once.

Think about it, if I don't want to have kids, why would I have to be the "weird" guy because of not having had sex? Sex is primarily to reproduce, if I dont want to reproduce, it's not that crazy to just to happen to not have sex. No reason to believe you are bad for it.
Click to expand...
I lost my virginity around age 19, which isn't too late really, but I was surrounded by people who lost their virginity much younger than me. Like at ages 14, 15, 16. I can say definitively that back then, I felt the same way you do now.

Never having had sex, it is very very difficult to envision yourself having sex. Even after I lost my virginity, I went another three years before having sex again and I just assumed it would never happen. Growing up I had very low self esteem and just assumed no girl would ever want to sleep with me.

I think just statistically it's unlikely you'll go your whole life without having sex, but if you have any interest in increasing your chances you do have to put in a bit of work. I was very fat and unathletic my whole life, but I started lifting weights and getting in shape when I turned 18. This was great for my confidence and my well being.

I also was able to find dates and girlfriends on dating apps. I think they have a bad rap as just for hookups, but that's not the case. There are a lot of women on Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, etc who just want to be in a relationship. My current girlfriend, who I've been dating for a year and a half, I met on Tinder.
 
Don't worry about losing your virginity. It's very likely to happen statistically as others have said, but it doesn't have anything to do with your value as a person. Tell anyone who judges you to go fuck themselves, and that people who have sex aren't any better than people who don't.

What I would also recommend is to keep it in the back of your mind that whenever you are talking to a woman and hitting it off, at the end of the conversation be sure to ask for her contact info. You don't want to be thinking about losing your virginity when talking to a woman you find attractive, you just want to be having a relaxed conversation with no ulterior motives, no goal of "closing." Just listen, be friendly, and if it seems like you are connecting let her know that you want to hang out.
 
I used to believe I was a loser for not having slept with multiple women. I no longer care.

Some people are just unlucky
 
yubacity said:
Having sex with a escort is not the same as sex with some you meet or pick up but it could help get the virgin tag of your mind and make you more confidant
Click to expand...
I would strongly recommend against an escort. Look for value within yourself instead and realize that it's completely fine that you haven't had sex yet. Don't let society's judgement get to your head; you're self worth needs to come from within or it's fake and won't last.
 
THECATINTHEHAT said:
irls very very rarely go out of their way to make that advance as they’re getting offered dick all day every day and don’t need to.
Click to expand...
IDK... had many come up to me in my younger days (and to this day) that make it clear they want me to take them "home".
Of course I have to beg off with excuses (these days) but it is flattering.
YMMV
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top