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Talking to Women...urrghh

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belfort

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 2, 2005
Messages
2,293
Growing up I was a shy reserved kid but through sports I became more confident and after years of watching others, I learned social skills..I can walk up to pretty much any woman and engage them in conversation..a huge problem I have though, and this is going to sound terrible, I find women to be quite flat or boring to talk to..I mean, most women want you to call them but they don't have much go say other than talking about their boring daily routine..that or they are usually consumed with some type of drama in their life..I may not have the most exciting life but at least I engage women in conversation, I ask them questions, try to keep the conversation going but I'm now to the point where I'm sick of it..what strikes me as strange is many women don't seem to have ANY strong interests or hobbies nor do they seem interested in what you are doing, they are very self absorbed..any other guys out there have a really hard time having so stimulation get conversation with a woman?this post may come off bad but it's true in my experience..I must either have terrible luck in choosing women or they are much different than men when it comes to socializing..

I'm very introverted so that doesn't help..just curious if other guys are in the same boat, either pm me or post on here..
 
I hate to sound mean but maybe they sense your insecurities and how nervous you come off, as you say, trying to keep the conversation going. Maybe they just don't have much to say to you. Personally I've found that men and women come in many different shapes, sizes, likes, dislikes, outgoing, not so outgoing. You get my point, I wouldn't see this as a man vs. women deal but a case by case deal.
 
Where are you meeting all these uninteresting people? There are a ton of interesting people around. Perhaps THEY are shy? I don't know. I certainly don't open up to people right away. It took months for me to really be myself around my partner. Maybe you need to take more time? Maybe you just need to find more place to meet people? It's hard to tell.
 
or maybe they are boring because you are not listening to them.. just a thought
 
BeachBum4u said:
I hate to sound mean but maybe they sense your insecurities and how nervous you come off, as you say, trying to keep the conversation going. Maybe they just don't have much to say to you. Personally I've found that men and women come in many different shapes, sizes, likes, dislikes, outgoing, not so outgoing. You get my point, I wouldn't see this as a man vs. women deal but a case by case deal.
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Oh no, I used to be so shy kid, now I have pretty good social skills and I usually manage to come off as extroverted and in some cases, cocky..I just view socializing with women a general waste of time and energy..

I have met these women at bookstores, through friends..You may be right, they are shy in some cases...It isn't just me though, I literaly googled this problem and many men also are dealing with this lol..so it isn't only the women im meeting..I just wish women were more self aware and les self absorbed...I know us men have our problems too!
 
zombywoof said:
or maybe they are boring because you are not listening to them.. just a thought
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I'm introverted and honestly a great listener.this is a problem too because when women find this out, they tend to take advantage of it..many women have been surprised at how well I listen and remember what they've said..sadly, many of the women I've talked to arent good listeners, they just want to talk about themselves or the karma shins..lol..I have a feeling more guys aren't posting because it might make them look like an asshole. Lol
 
yes women like to talk and men have to at least pretend they are listening
 
I am a very shy woman and I struggle presenting myself in an interesting way to newcomers. In my experience, I'm used to men always taking the lead on conversations and I didn't have to put in much effort. it isnt until time has gone by that I really begin to open myself up to someone and let them in. It's frustrating to throw it all out there just to have another dead end fling. So I just learned to hold back and if the guy stuck around then he was worth opening up to.
 
Sadly, all the women I'm not attracted to seem to be intelligent. I'm not even gonna go into the other half of the story...

But I did meet this woman at a college thing. She kept going on about how she loves how everyone's different and they all have their own story. Maybe it was the withdrawals I was going through, but I wanted someone to bludgeon my face in.
 
Definitely sounds like you aren't quite sure what you want in a woman. You go after the emotionally unavailable ones and run from the open ones.
 
Most ppl tend to annoy me
I'm sure I annoy most ppl
But as far as meeting women, I know I've met someone special when I "click" with them.
You don't need to force conversation, it just flows, everything just happens and it is enjoyable, versus forcing conversation, awkwardness...

Perhaps try finding another scene OP?

iridescentblack said:
Sadly, all the women I'm not attracted to seem to be intelligent.
Click to expand...

I find smart women so attractive, but their intelligence intimidates me.
 
David Wooderson said:
But as far as meeting women, I know I've met someone special when I "click" with them.
You don't need to force conversation, it just flows, everything just happens and it is enjoyable, versus forcing conversation, awkwardness...
Click to expand...
That applies to me as well. I met a girl I clicked with pretty much instantaneously. The next time I saw her I didn't even have to force myself to open up, it just happened.

I wouldn't consider myself shy... honestly I consider the word shy to be very derogatory like it implies possession or dominance over someone (superiority if you will)...

but

I'm very selective about who I share information with.
 
isn't that what having male friends are for? I like to shoot guns, play basketball, watch football, and I highly doubt i'll ever find a girl who likes to do or talk about those things. That's the stuff I do with the guys. I guess i'm kind of confused on where your going here OP
 
some people are interesting male or female.

most are dull

its just statistics.

you dont want to be friends with 35 out of 100 people, more like 2 out of 100

stop expecting women you fancy to be interesting to talk to, the overlap is random and therefore less common than you think.

you need to meet much more women, not less
 
I found that my judgments of womens' personalities in the past was a reflection of my own anxieties of being around other people. Once I corrected this, I no longer had as many negative thoughts running through my head when talking to women or men.
 
belfort said:
Growing up I was a shy reserved kid but through sports I became more confident and after years of watching others, I learned social skills..I can walk up to pretty much any woman and engage them in conversation..a huge problem I have though, and this is going to sound terrible, I find women to be quite flat or boring to talk to..I mean, most women want you to call them but they don't have much go say other than talking about their boring daily routine..that or they are usually consumed with some type of drama in their life..I may not have the most exciting life but at least I engage women in conversation, I ask them questions, try to keep the conversation going but I'm now to the point where I'm sick of it..what strikes me as strange is many women don't seem to have ANY strong interests or hobbies nor do they seem interested in what you are doing, they are very self absorbed..any other guys out there have a really hard time having so stimulation get conversation with a woman?this post may come off bad but it's true in my experience..I must either have terrible luck in choosing women or they are much different than men when it comes to socializing..

I'm very introverted so that doesn't help..just curious if other guys are in the same boat, either pm me or post on here..
Click to expand...

Women are for sure different than men, but it sounds like you are choosing the wrong ones to talk to. I myself find most people boring... you just have to keep trying till you find the right one to talk to. However, mostly women like to talk about themselves. Its our favorite subject :)
 
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