suicidal older brother has me worried

[BornAgainYogi]

Well he confided in me he has some suicidal ideation and I don't know how to take that. He has no social life cause his inability or even desire to form bonds with people. He seems to be getting closer to the edge everyday. This wasn't a plea for attention either or anything like that. I'd like to take him out places but he never likes going anywhere because of his horrible anxiety. Any insights or things that may have helped yourself get through suicidal thoughts. I'm fairly sure I won't be able to get him into therapy. Please help..

 

[nygiants1313]

Well he confided in me he has some suicidal ideation and I don't know how to take that. He has no social life cause his inability or even desire to form bonds with people. He seems to be getting closer to the edge everyday. This wasn't a plea for attention either or anything like that. I'd like to take him out places but he never likes going anywhere because of his horrible anxiety. Any insights or things that may have helped yourself get through suicidal thoughts. I'm fairly sure I won't be able to get him into therapy. Please help..

Has he had substance abuse issues. I'm 26 n my bro is 22 and he has seen me in the way you see your brother right now. Idk if he was ever an addict like myself. A lot of what killed me was being around my lil bro and feeling like I let him down, and my entire family which in turned made me want to do more drugs and never see anybody because of how ashamed I was. And the vicious cycle continues to this day. But I think we need some more info about your brother.

His age, if he works or goes to school, if he ever a used drugs, have you ever been close?

 

[BornAgainYogi]

He's never used drugs. Has never had close friends really. Works alot for the family business which I'm no longer involved in because it's nearly all day everyday. I got closer to him about a year and a half ago. Before then I was blissfully unaware. He's 29 I'm 21.

 

[pofacedhoe]

has he been to a doctor?

working every day of the week sucks too, does he not have any hobbies?

to me suicidal thoughts were clearly a head fuck from depression that i had to fight, i wasn't going to be done over by them. maybe he needs a break from that family business.

i mean get a new job or kill myself- which sounds more reasonable.

clearly he hates his life at the moment so maybe he should change some aspects of it

needs to go see a doctor

 

[Phil.McKeer]

If you can reach out to him somehow, do so now if you have even an inkling of a suspicion that if left to his own devices he may commit suicide.

You can make it subtle like getting him to hang out with you and introducing him to people.

I've seen people wait until it's too late.

 

[Erikmen]

has he been to a doctor?

working every day of the week sucks too, does he not have any hobbies?

to me suicidal thoughts were clearly a head fuck from depression that i had to fight, i wasn't going to be done over by them. maybe he needs a break from that family business.

i mean get a new job or kill myself- which sounds more reasonable.

clearly he hates his life at the moment so maybe he should change some aspects of it

needs to go see a doctor

I agree. I don't think he's happy with his life.

 

[placid space]

First of all, Id be careful with forcing him with "social" life. The meaning is different for everybody. I prefer calm poker nights, am a homebody, going out to the movies, dinner, playing sports. I hate crowded loud places where everyone is talking over eachother trying to edge a word in.
So first think about what might be right for him. I wouldnt walk him into a bar where everyone is talking over each other and he'll sit there thinking nobody is hearing him, nobody cares what he says. And visualizing beforehand what it will be like helps. Like literally, where youll sit, what you might talk about , describe the people youll hang out with, make him prepare some topics for conversation...
Though, what does he like in life, what were his hobbies in the past, what do you think he would like to do socially ?

 

[JessFR]

Like Phil said, definitely don't wait. Can you tell us a bit more about his anxiety problems? Like what it precludes him doing? Are you sure he really doesn't desire to form more bonds with people and make friends? Sometimes people say they don't want what they really do because it makes it easier to cope with not having it to convince yourself and others you never wanted it.

Try to get closer to him. It sounds like he really needs support right now. There are medications that could help a lot with his depression and anxiety. But he obviously needs to see a doctor for that. Maybe try and find out what he wants in the future, or used to want, and try and convince him its attainable. Depression is a serious, potentially life threatening disease and it is treatable. He needs hope, hope is how ive coped for a long time. And its much more constructive than my other way of coping with my depression than opioid addiction.