BIGsherm7272
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 7, 2009
- Messages
- 1,525
I first want to say sorry if this is the wrong place, but I have not found any other users experiences with zolpidem that correlate to my own.
I will preface by saying that I have been in recovery from addiction for close to 2 years, with some bumps in the road. The last 6 months have been the best months of my life since my insidious disease surfaced its ugly face. But I do know and can feel the difference inside me, and that I really do not want to use and want a better life for myself.
I was a heavy poly-drug user, with my main substance being Opiods (IV) and Benzos (high doses of mainly Xanax and Klonopin, but have consumed nearly all of them at very high dosages). I also used just about everything there is, such as psychedelics, disassociatives, delirients, inhalants, MDMA, other research entactogneic subtances, alcohol, and of course, pot.
I have also been on numerous psychiatric medications, such as Atypical anti-psychotics, SSRI's, SNRI's, TCA's, DNRI's, and several mood stabilizers, as well as just about every medication in the book for insomnia, such as ambien, lunesta, remeron, trazadone, doxepine, sonata, and a few others I can't recall.
I finally got the help I wanted and needed, and got clean from not only my DOC's, but also the proper psychiatric care to help me with what the real issue was, which resulted in me being diagnosed with social anxiety, Bipolar II, ADHD, and Major Depression.
I listed ll of this because maybe in there lies a reason that I am all of a sudden getting this unique effect from Zolpidem currently. These effects started occurring over the last 6 months, and to say the least I was quite in for a surprise as to what these once-benign sleeping pills would produce upon me.
I was a heavy benzo user, as-in I would take doses of anywhere from 2mg-14mg daily or all at once, depending on the situation. I would do them more days than not, for about a year at that level. For some reason when I would run out or quit taking them, while I would definitely get some significant side effects (paranoia, panic attacks, insomnia, brain zaps, and about hundred other whacky benzo withdrawal symptoms), I never reached the level of shaking and having seizures (thank god). Why this is, I don't know. I can also drink handles of 40+proof liquor daily for many many months at a time, with no break, yet I never developed any withdrawal symptoms whatsoever, no hangovers, no nothing. Maybe my body is an ultra-rapid metabolizer, but who knows.
Back to the topic on zolpidem effects on me currently, When I was using benzos fairly heavily I never got any effects from ambien, even at very high doses (50mg+), so I wrote them off as worthless. This was in the beginning of 2014, which was the last time I consumed ambien. Fast forward past treatment to now (12/2015), and all of a sudden ambien has been giving me some unusual effects, such as hallucinations (ranging from mild/intriguing visuals to down-right panic inducing full-on intense/life-like visual hallucinations, with rare auditory hallucinations, but I also experience many other forms of them, such as moderate olfactory, mild gustatory, and extremely intense tactile hallucination, which I believe may be the strongest by far), amnesia, sleep-eating/walking, slurring my words, black-outs, as well as general fucked-up/weirdness. But these are all well-documented and listed as possible side effects. I still though it was strange since I had never experienced them before, and considering the intensity and sheer number of them, as well as an nearly instant effect once the medicine started working (15-20min after consumption.
But another unique (and seemingly-positive) side-effect showed up, and sometimes it can happen only from a single 10mg dose, or it can take a higher dose, such as 20-40mg+ . It starts as a typical ambien high, with intense relaxation and senses of feeling at peace. The more common ones show up immediately after the initial effects, such as mild visuals, enhanced lights and colors, word-stumbling, trouble walking, and mild-intermittent amnesia, and the golden one it was made for, sedation.
From there it starts to turn into the somewhat darker/inebriated stages, as trouble walking/talking, word salad, sleep-walking/eating/driving, as well as doing unusual tasks/body-movements, and if you have reached this state your are more than likely in a black-out and can receive some powerful retro-grade amnesia in the form of not remembering pretty much anything at from the point that the amnesia occurs, thus loosing all memory and knowledge from that point back. to varying degrees. More common is the classical "Black-out", where you don't remember shit from the point after you took the pill, and maybe even loss of prior events. I personally like to call it the "WTF-Amnesia", where you have no recolletion of anything, where you are, how you got there, what year it is, who is the president, etc......but you usually will be able to piece the night and events that occured in order to some degree. While I have never fully-pieced a night together, and I have come close enough to realize the shit that I was about to get into over it (Cops, people banging on my house, death threats, and the list goes on.
And then comes the calm before the storm, which is what my original dilemma is about: After about +1:30h, which sometimes requires higher doses (either all at once, or in 30-60min increments of dosing, which is usually 10mg orally/insufflation), or may just hit me right of the bate after one 10mg dose. Since there are too many factors, I do not see it being dose dependent due to the fact that it has happened every time without fail at some point after ingestion. The only variables that I see having any meaning-full factors are my current medications, diagnosed mental disorders, and time away from heavy benzo usage. I have theories for, but I am in no way a medical professional who specializes in either Pharmacology and/or Neuropharmacology, and Psychiatry. Anyways, I will list the side effect that I am in question about:
Intense euphoria, feelings of love for all, feeling one with all, music enhancement, color enhancement, overcome with pure joy to the point of crying about it. I feel like I can understand everything and everyone, and I have all of these racing thoughts that seem so logical and rational, and my words flow very affluently and passionately, with perfect meaning to me.
Pretty much the same Entactogenic effects that a mild to moderate dose of pure mdma would do to me. Everytime it happens, I am in complete shock and awe of how I feel, think, and perceive myself, others, and the universe. It is quite breathtaking experience. I was just in complete disbelief that this once not-worth-to take medicine started giving me some of the craziest trips/feelings I have had.
And after the fireworks fade, then the more insidious part of the trip sets in. I will begin to see very-detailed visual hallucinations, mainly composed as human-form. Sometimes they don't seem to insidious, but occasionally the do provoke some fear, to near panic. I will see bugs flying across my room and gather on a wall, only for them start flying toward me in groups, and I can feel them when they land. They fade away after that. I have seen even crazier and more horrific scenes, such as a painting in which a demon had spawned in it and had red-electricity encasing him. That one was fucked up.
But the most unsettling and intense one for me is the tactile hallucinations. Whenever I am sitting in a chair, it feels like my body is shifting on the inside and moving around. This doesn't usually bother me, but the one that comes up when I finally attempt sleep is by far the most unsettling one, and I usually just pray to god/whatever is out there to please just knock me the fuck out and end this unending fear. I can feel something besides me (if I am laying on my side), and it starts touching me and trys to move parts of my body, such as my head, arms, back, legs, etc., and for some reasoning I get a menacing feeling about this. Its almost as if (and I in no way believe in ghosts/demons/religious god), that something is trying to take hold of me a either show me something horrible and try to kill me. I know this is not true whatsoever, but I can actually feel it grabbing me, and moving my body. I can even see the movements it is causing to my arms as it pushes them forward, or even can see my clothes moving from there original position as I lay, with 100% depiction of accuracy. It/they will also crawl on my head, or attempt to pull it back. And So I just laid they terrified, praying that I am able to fall asleep extremely quickly, or else I may actually have to physically witness them, which is something in which I hope to never see. I can only image what is laying besides me on a crazy zolpidem trip, which has that wonderful delirient aspect about it, as well as many other things going on.
Anyways, sorry for the long post to get to my question, but has anyone ever experienced this MDMA-Like Entactogenic effects such as I have? Or any of some of the other more disturbing ones?
Could have being clean (for the most part) from benzos and other drugs have effect its effect or my tolerance to Gabaergics in general? Could the current medication regimen I am on have any effect on this experience? (Seroquel 300mg, Adderall 20mg x 2, Propanolol 20mg, Zofran 8mg)?
Could it be a sign of underlying schizophrenia, brought up by this drug, as well as being diagnosed as Bipolar II?
Or could it really be nothing other than that is just how it is going to affect me from now on? I do really love the drug itself, when I use it as prescribed it works amzing for sleep with minimal side-effects, and the trips are actually rather intriguing, but some of the side effects, such as the Tactile hallucinations, I just can't get over and if they dont improve/go away, then I guess I will have to say goodbye to zolpidem.
Its to bad, I finally find a medicine that actually works wonders for my sleep, and doesn't make me gain weight (which is an important issue to my health currently), but it is just to intense for me.
If anyone has any insights or similar experience, or just plain knowledge about zolpidem, I would greatly appreciate. It is so crazy that a drug that resembles a benzo, kinda works like a benzo, and even nearly feel like one can be so different to the point it it making all the similarities pail in comparison. I guess that's why the put strong emphasis on it being a "NON-Benzodiazepine" hypnotic agent.
Oh I could really go for good ol' Temazepam, the true king of available sedatives....Well, at least "legally-available" in the US.
I will preface by saying that I have been in recovery from addiction for close to 2 years, with some bumps in the road. The last 6 months have been the best months of my life since my insidious disease surfaced its ugly face. But I do know and can feel the difference inside me, and that I really do not want to use and want a better life for myself.
I was a heavy poly-drug user, with my main substance being Opiods (IV) and Benzos (high doses of mainly Xanax and Klonopin, but have consumed nearly all of them at very high dosages). I also used just about everything there is, such as psychedelics, disassociatives, delirients, inhalants, MDMA, other research entactogneic subtances, alcohol, and of course, pot.
I have also been on numerous psychiatric medications, such as Atypical anti-psychotics, SSRI's, SNRI's, TCA's, DNRI's, and several mood stabilizers, as well as just about every medication in the book for insomnia, such as ambien, lunesta, remeron, trazadone, doxepine, sonata, and a few others I can't recall.
I finally got the help I wanted and needed, and got clean from not only my DOC's, but also the proper psychiatric care to help me with what the real issue was, which resulted in me being diagnosed with social anxiety, Bipolar II, ADHD, and Major Depression.
I listed ll of this because maybe in there lies a reason that I am all of a sudden getting this unique effect from Zolpidem currently. These effects started occurring over the last 6 months, and to say the least I was quite in for a surprise as to what these once-benign sleeping pills would produce upon me.
I was a heavy benzo user, as-in I would take doses of anywhere from 2mg-14mg daily or all at once, depending on the situation. I would do them more days than not, for about a year at that level. For some reason when I would run out or quit taking them, while I would definitely get some significant side effects (paranoia, panic attacks, insomnia, brain zaps, and about hundred other whacky benzo withdrawal symptoms), I never reached the level of shaking and having seizures (thank god). Why this is, I don't know. I can also drink handles of 40+proof liquor daily for many many months at a time, with no break, yet I never developed any withdrawal symptoms whatsoever, no hangovers, no nothing. Maybe my body is an ultra-rapid metabolizer, but who knows.
Back to the topic on zolpidem effects on me currently, When I was using benzos fairly heavily I never got any effects from ambien, even at very high doses (50mg+), so I wrote them off as worthless. This was in the beginning of 2014, which was the last time I consumed ambien. Fast forward past treatment to now (12/2015), and all of a sudden ambien has been giving me some unusual effects, such as hallucinations (ranging from mild/intriguing visuals to down-right panic inducing full-on intense/life-like visual hallucinations, with rare auditory hallucinations, but I also experience many other forms of them, such as moderate olfactory, mild gustatory, and extremely intense tactile hallucination, which I believe may be the strongest by far), amnesia, sleep-eating/walking, slurring my words, black-outs, as well as general fucked-up/weirdness. But these are all well-documented and listed as possible side effects. I still though it was strange since I had never experienced them before, and considering the intensity and sheer number of them, as well as an nearly instant effect once the medicine started working (15-20min after consumption.
But another unique (and seemingly-positive) side-effect showed up, and sometimes it can happen only from a single 10mg dose, or it can take a higher dose, such as 20-40mg+ . It starts as a typical ambien high, with intense relaxation and senses of feeling at peace. The more common ones show up immediately after the initial effects, such as mild visuals, enhanced lights and colors, word-stumbling, trouble walking, and mild-intermittent amnesia, and the golden one it was made for, sedation.
From there it starts to turn into the somewhat darker/inebriated stages, as trouble walking/talking, word salad, sleep-walking/eating/driving, as well as doing unusual tasks/body-movements, and if you have reached this state your are more than likely in a black-out and can receive some powerful retro-grade amnesia in the form of not remembering pretty much anything at from the point that the amnesia occurs, thus loosing all memory and knowledge from that point back. to varying degrees. More common is the classical "Black-out", where you don't remember shit from the point after you took the pill, and maybe even loss of prior events. I personally like to call it the "WTF-Amnesia", where you have no recolletion of anything, where you are, how you got there, what year it is, who is the president, etc......but you usually will be able to piece the night and events that occured in order to some degree. While I have never fully-pieced a night together, and I have come close enough to realize the shit that I was about to get into over it (Cops, people banging on my house, death threats, and the list goes on.
And then comes the calm before the storm, which is what my original dilemma is about: After about +1:30h, which sometimes requires higher doses (either all at once, or in 30-60min increments of dosing, which is usually 10mg orally/insufflation), or may just hit me right of the bate after one 10mg dose. Since there are too many factors, I do not see it being dose dependent due to the fact that it has happened every time without fail at some point after ingestion. The only variables that I see having any meaning-full factors are my current medications, diagnosed mental disorders, and time away from heavy benzo usage. I have theories for, but I am in no way a medical professional who specializes in either Pharmacology and/or Neuropharmacology, and Psychiatry. Anyways, I will list the side effect that I am in question about:
Intense euphoria, feelings of love for all, feeling one with all, music enhancement, color enhancement, overcome with pure joy to the point of crying about it. I feel like I can understand everything and everyone, and I have all of these racing thoughts that seem so logical and rational, and my words flow very affluently and passionately, with perfect meaning to me.
Pretty much the same Entactogenic effects that a mild to moderate dose of pure mdma would do to me. Everytime it happens, I am in complete shock and awe of how I feel, think, and perceive myself, others, and the universe. It is quite breathtaking experience. I was just in complete disbelief that this once not-worth-to take medicine started giving me some of the craziest trips/feelings I have had.
And after the fireworks fade, then the more insidious part of the trip sets in. I will begin to see very-detailed visual hallucinations, mainly composed as human-form. Sometimes they don't seem to insidious, but occasionally the do provoke some fear, to near panic. I will see bugs flying across my room and gather on a wall, only for them start flying toward me in groups, and I can feel them when they land. They fade away after that. I have seen even crazier and more horrific scenes, such as a painting in which a demon had spawned in it and had red-electricity encasing him. That one was fucked up.
But the most unsettling and intense one for me is the tactile hallucinations. Whenever I am sitting in a chair, it feels like my body is shifting on the inside and moving around. This doesn't usually bother me, but the one that comes up when I finally attempt sleep is by far the most unsettling one, and I usually just pray to god/whatever is out there to please just knock me the fuck out and end this unending fear. I can feel something besides me (if I am laying on my side), and it starts touching me and trys to move parts of my body, such as my head, arms, back, legs, etc., and for some reasoning I get a menacing feeling about this. Its almost as if (and I in no way believe in ghosts/demons/religious god), that something is trying to take hold of me a either show me something horrible and try to kill me. I know this is not true whatsoever, but I can actually feel it grabbing me, and moving my body. I can even see the movements it is causing to my arms as it pushes them forward, or even can see my clothes moving from there original position as I lay, with 100% depiction of accuracy. It/they will also crawl on my head, or attempt to pull it back. And So I just laid they terrified, praying that I am able to fall asleep extremely quickly, or else I may actually have to physically witness them, which is something in which I hope to never see. I can only image what is laying besides me on a crazy zolpidem trip, which has that wonderful delirient aspect about it, as well as many other things going on.
Anyways, sorry for the long post to get to my question, but has anyone ever experienced this MDMA-Like Entactogenic effects such as I have? Or any of some of the other more disturbing ones?
Could have being clean (for the most part) from benzos and other drugs have effect its effect or my tolerance to Gabaergics in general? Could the current medication regimen I am on have any effect on this experience? (Seroquel 300mg, Adderall 20mg x 2, Propanolol 20mg, Zofran 8mg)?
Could it be a sign of underlying schizophrenia, brought up by this drug, as well as being diagnosed as Bipolar II?
Or could it really be nothing other than that is just how it is going to affect me from now on? I do really love the drug itself, when I use it as prescribed it works amzing for sleep with minimal side-effects, and the trips are actually rather intriguing, but some of the side effects, such as the Tactile hallucinations, I just can't get over and if they dont improve/go away, then I guess I will have to say goodbye to zolpidem.
Its to bad, I finally find a medicine that actually works wonders for my sleep, and doesn't make me gain weight (which is an important issue to my health currently), but it is just to intense for me.
If anyone has any insights or similar experience, or just plain knowledge about zolpidem, I would greatly appreciate. It is so crazy that a drug that resembles a benzo, kinda works like a benzo, and even nearly feel like one can be so different to the point it it making all the similarities pail in comparison. I guess that's why the put strong emphasis on it being a "NON-Benzodiazepine" hypnotic agent.
Oh I could really go for good ol' Temazepam, the true king of available sedatives....Well, at least "legally-available" in the US.
