FUCK, FUCK...
FUCK!! I just lost my fucking post because of my lap top (long story). My pain is screaming "end this shit!" after my PM appointment yesterday. It was, as always, an exercise in futility. I digress.
I don't have the mental faculties to re-type everything I was trying to say to you, MD. Basically, as always, major props to you as you seek answers for your pain. Our story/history is different, but PAIN is pain when un-managed. I feel your angst and struggle. I wish I could reach through cyberspace and comfort you, my brotha. You offer so much of yourself to others on this site. I respect you for your service in the military. I grieve for the damage it caused your body and mind. I admire your strength to fight through this so-called life, helping others to do the same.
Methadone for pain? It seems if you ask 50 people, you'll get 50 opposing views, ranging from "best solution ever" to "devil drug". I have nothing to offer. My PM started me on it day one, because he believes it's excellent (and cheap) for CP. I was opiate naïve, so I remember little beyond excessive sedation and drool. I stopped within a month.
I've not dealt with addiction, personally. I have little to offer there. My fear of addiction has kept me IN PAIN for decades, as I refused opiate therapy until 2014. It's not gone well, because opiates cause more problems (GI) than they solve for me. Right now I'm prescribed Oxycodone, but it doesn't touch my pain.
I'm less than amused when a previous poster said "If you're in pain, why not take opiates (pain killers)". Duh...read the fucking thread...focus on the subject matter. Do you not find it astounding that folks who
don't have pain have a potpourri of meds available at all times? Yet, CPPs contemplating life in pain vs. stretching a good piece of rope, can't even PAY a fucking "PM Specialist" to make eye contact? Forget about OIC meds costing upwards of $300 per month.
My rant won't help you, MD. Your description of your PM doctor took me back to my appointment just 28 hours ago. I'm just so frustrated I want to rip his head off and shit down his throat, except...er...the throat ripping I can do, and
enjoy. But...my bowels won't move even with daily consumption of enough softeners, laxatives, stimulants for a colon cleanse and bowel prep for scope.
(((HUGS))) and heartfelt empathy to you, MD. I'm sorry I don't have answers for you (or me). I am glad that you have your parents. I lost my dad just days before 9/11. My mom is now 89 and I placed her in a nursing facility in 2005. I have been in the "parent roll" for longer than I can remember. It doesn't help that my mom is the spawn of Satan. (yep) I need riot gear just to visit!