natalkaxxx
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Mar 3, 2023
- Messages
- 1
It turned out to be a really long post, so if u don't want to read it all, i summed it up below, PLEASE if u think u might help or know sth read at least that, i would really really appreciate every help and advice.
Hi guys, so maybe a bit of an introduction and background.
I've been an oxycodone abuser for about 1,5 years now. It started in a really stupid and naive way (as it probably usually does, especially with people my age - I'm now 21), which is another story, but bottom line, for the last few months I've been snorting 400mg or more of oxy daily and it just became too much of an expensive habit for me to support.
Last 2 months have been really hard, I was moving to a new flat, switching jobs and was very short on money. Everyday was worrying about the next fix and how I'm going to get the money. I tried to detox several times at home but couldn't get past 20-30 hours or so, always ended up contacting my dealer. I was so desperate and depressed, constantly going in and out of withdrawal, it became harder and harder to hide from friends and family (as at the beginning i thought I was very functioning addict and it didn't have much influence on my life) and obviously the only moments I felt moderately okey was when I was high. I really didn't know what to do anymore, finally realised how big my problem really is and that I am not able to deal with it on my own. So I decided to go to a methadone/buprenorphine clinic.
It was 3 days ago. I talked to the doctor, presented my history of abuse, dosage etc. He asked what substitute I would like to be on. As stupid as I am, I haven't done enough research and basically the only thing I knew (or thought) is that methadone is really hard to get off of and bupe WD is lighter and its easier to get off of, so I said I wanted bupe. He agreed. As my last dose of oxy (about 60mg) was a few hours before meeting, he told me to come back in like 5 hours and I would get my first dose of bupe. I really felt so full of hope, I thought my cravings would be satisfied, I wouldn't have to go through WD and most importantly wouldn't have to spend all my money on oxys and maybe slowly start to live a normal life again.
So now, I think I will make somewhat of a timeline of the last few days and my doses and how I felt and feel bc I really can't understand what's happening and can't seem to find anyone here with similar problem who has posted about it.
DAY 1
10am - 60mg oxy intranasal
2:30pm 40mg oxy intranasal
3:30pm - 4mg buprenorphine (mine is WITHOUT naloxone) SL
5pm - took all the oxy I had left (I know it was really stupid but i didn't realise then how bupe really worked) so about 120mg oxy intranasal
from now on i felt weird, I didn't feel te oxys at all and with time I stared to feel really weird and uneasy mentally, everything was weird and stressful
11pm - 2mg bupe SL - before I took I started noticing runny nose and dilated pupils but didn't feel very bad physically but mentally it was a torment, I came home and started crying and didn't know that to do with myself, took 5mg relanium and went to sleep
DAY 2
I woke up feeling WD quite strongly, not very bad, but I was very cold, even more dilated pupils, weak muscles etc, went to clinic and told them i feel bad, they upped my dose to 12mg per day, 8mg morning at the clinic, 2mg during the day and 2mg to sleep. So;
10am - 8mg bupe SL - went home, still felt very bad mentally, physically about the same as before
11-12am - 2mg bupe intranasal as i still felt the same and read that this ROA has better BA so decided to try it, after some time felt a bit better mentally, less stressed and and uneasy, fell asleep
5pm - 2 mg bupe intranasal - woke up feeling weird again, physically i felt like i was constantly half withdrawing, like the WD just it stopped at some point and just stayed there, mentally as bad as before so decided to take last dose of bupe
Now, I had a lot of work to do and I felt like shit, don't know how on earth I motivated myself to study but now I started to feel the WD progressing, I was constantly cold but sweating, joint pain, runny nose, watery eyes, constant mood swings, muscles getting weaker and weaker. I felt really bad.
As I had so much work I stayed up all night and didn't get even a minute of sleep but lets say:
DAY 3
7-8am - i feel terrible, my legs barely holding the weight of my body, all the symptoms above but stronger, i don't know how i got myself to the clinic
9am - 4mg bupe SL (i spit it up when left the clinic and half took under tongue and half snorted) 4mg bupe intranasal - after like 30 mins it alleviated my symptoms a bit, just getting me back to the point of feeling like half withdrawing
11am - 2mg bupe intranasal - as i wasn't getting any better and i was at work i decided to give it a chance and snorted half of the dose i got to take home
2pm - i was kind of okey, not good not bad but suddenly i started feeling very nauseous and light headed, i barely could stand i felt like i was gonna faint, then my chest started hurting, had problems breathing, heart racing like crazy. I got really scared I overdosed somehow on bupe and called the clinic. For a moment i really thought something really bad is going to happen to me. They said that its impossible i overdosed and its just the oxy leaving my body. I somehow managed to calm myself down and took some relanium. Felt bad but survivable. Now I think it was a panic attack from the WD.
5-6pm - again started to feel really weak, all the symptoms mental and physical worsening
6.30pm - got home, took the last 2mg bupe SL felt maybe a tiny bit better but not much.
So now Im here and I really don't understand what's going on. I get that the first or even the second day i might have had PWD but shouldn't it pass by now? At the clinic they say that its because I was on high dose of oxy and it just takes time to leave my body and for bupe to take it place. But from what I read here and in articles it really doesn't make sense. Shouldn't the PWD go away after max 24h? If I was in WD today morning shouldn't bupe make it go away? All the people here say its great for them to reduce WD if they don't have their dope or sth.
I really don't know what i should do. Should I demand to go on methadone? If I do will I go into PWD (i read that transition from sub to done isn't as dangerous when it comes to PWD). If I take some oxy now, on bupe, will it make me feel at least a bit better or will it make it worse?
Sorry for such a long post, but wanted to explain my situation thoroughly, maybe someone had sth similar happen to them or can at least explain to me what's going on or what to do? I feel like im reacting to bupe in completely different and weirder way than anyone else.
If you don't want to read the whole post: I went from 400mg oxy intranasal to first day 6mg bupe (mine is WITHOUT naloxone) and then 2nd and 3rd day 12mg but even though not taking oxy or anything else for over 50hours and taking bupe as prescribed WD doesn't go away and bupe seems to almost induce it after alleviating it a tiny bit for a few hours. Why is it happening? Shouldn't PWD be over now and bupe only making me better? What should I do?
Oh and of course I have crazy cravings the only thing that really stops me now is that I don't have money for oxy and also the fact that I don't really know how I will react to them on bupe and I don't want to make my situation even worse.
Really every answer and help will be highly appreciated as I really don't know what to do anymore! I hoped I will at least feel normal physically and also hoped for my cravings to reduce but so far its been the opposite.
Hi guys, so maybe a bit of an introduction and background.
I've been an oxycodone abuser for about 1,5 years now. It started in a really stupid and naive way (as it probably usually does, especially with people my age - I'm now 21), which is another story, but bottom line, for the last few months I've been snorting 400mg or more of oxy daily and it just became too much of an expensive habit for me to support.
Last 2 months have been really hard, I was moving to a new flat, switching jobs and was very short on money. Everyday was worrying about the next fix and how I'm going to get the money. I tried to detox several times at home but couldn't get past 20-30 hours or so, always ended up contacting my dealer. I was so desperate and depressed, constantly going in and out of withdrawal, it became harder and harder to hide from friends and family (as at the beginning i thought I was very functioning addict and it didn't have much influence on my life) and obviously the only moments I felt moderately okey was when I was high. I really didn't know what to do anymore, finally realised how big my problem really is and that I am not able to deal with it on my own. So I decided to go to a methadone/buprenorphine clinic.
It was 3 days ago. I talked to the doctor, presented my history of abuse, dosage etc. He asked what substitute I would like to be on. As stupid as I am, I haven't done enough research and basically the only thing I knew (or thought) is that methadone is really hard to get off of and bupe WD is lighter and its easier to get off of, so I said I wanted bupe. He agreed. As my last dose of oxy (about 60mg) was a few hours before meeting, he told me to come back in like 5 hours and I would get my first dose of bupe. I really felt so full of hope, I thought my cravings would be satisfied, I wouldn't have to go through WD and most importantly wouldn't have to spend all my money on oxys and maybe slowly start to live a normal life again.
So now, I think I will make somewhat of a timeline of the last few days and my doses and how I felt and feel bc I really can't understand what's happening and can't seem to find anyone here with similar problem who has posted about it.
DAY 1
10am - 60mg oxy intranasal
2:30pm 40mg oxy intranasal
3:30pm - 4mg buprenorphine (mine is WITHOUT naloxone) SL
5pm - took all the oxy I had left (I know it was really stupid but i didn't realise then how bupe really worked) so about 120mg oxy intranasal
from now on i felt weird, I didn't feel te oxys at all and with time I stared to feel really weird and uneasy mentally, everything was weird and stressful
11pm - 2mg bupe SL - before I took I started noticing runny nose and dilated pupils but didn't feel very bad physically but mentally it was a torment, I came home and started crying and didn't know that to do with myself, took 5mg relanium and went to sleep
DAY 2
I woke up feeling WD quite strongly, not very bad, but I was very cold, even more dilated pupils, weak muscles etc, went to clinic and told them i feel bad, they upped my dose to 12mg per day, 8mg morning at the clinic, 2mg during the day and 2mg to sleep. So;
10am - 8mg bupe SL - went home, still felt very bad mentally, physically about the same as before
11-12am - 2mg bupe intranasal as i still felt the same and read that this ROA has better BA so decided to try it, after some time felt a bit better mentally, less stressed and and uneasy, fell asleep
5pm - 2 mg bupe intranasal - woke up feeling weird again, physically i felt like i was constantly half withdrawing, like the WD just it stopped at some point and just stayed there, mentally as bad as before so decided to take last dose of bupe
Now, I had a lot of work to do and I felt like shit, don't know how on earth I motivated myself to study but now I started to feel the WD progressing, I was constantly cold but sweating, joint pain, runny nose, watery eyes, constant mood swings, muscles getting weaker and weaker. I felt really bad.
As I had so much work I stayed up all night and didn't get even a minute of sleep but lets say:
DAY 3
7-8am - i feel terrible, my legs barely holding the weight of my body, all the symptoms above but stronger, i don't know how i got myself to the clinic
9am - 4mg bupe SL (i spit it up when left the clinic and half took under tongue and half snorted) 4mg bupe intranasal - after like 30 mins it alleviated my symptoms a bit, just getting me back to the point of feeling like half withdrawing
11am - 2mg bupe intranasal - as i wasn't getting any better and i was at work i decided to give it a chance and snorted half of the dose i got to take home
2pm - i was kind of okey, not good not bad but suddenly i started feeling very nauseous and light headed, i barely could stand i felt like i was gonna faint, then my chest started hurting, had problems breathing, heart racing like crazy. I got really scared I overdosed somehow on bupe and called the clinic. For a moment i really thought something really bad is going to happen to me. They said that its impossible i overdosed and its just the oxy leaving my body. I somehow managed to calm myself down and took some relanium. Felt bad but survivable. Now I think it was a panic attack from the WD.
5-6pm - again started to feel really weak, all the symptoms mental and physical worsening
6.30pm - got home, took the last 2mg bupe SL felt maybe a tiny bit better but not much.
So now Im here and I really don't understand what's going on. I get that the first or even the second day i might have had PWD but shouldn't it pass by now? At the clinic they say that its because I was on high dose of oxy and it just takes time to leave my body and for bupe to take it place. But from what I read here and in articles it really doesn't make sense. Shouldn't the PWD go away after max 24h? If I was in WD today morning shouldn't bupe make it go away? All the people here say its great for them to reduce WD if they don't have their dope or sth.
I really don't know what i should do. Should I demand to go on methadone? If I do will I go into PWD (i read that transition from sub to done isn't as dangerous when it comes to PWD). If I take some oxy now, on bupe, will it make me feel at least a bit better or will it make it worse?
Sorry for such a long post, but wanted to explain my situation thoroughly, maybe someone had sth similar happen to them or can at least explain to me what's going on or what to do? I feel like im reacting to bupe in completely different and weirder way than anyone else.
If you don't want to read the whole post: I went from 400mg oxy intranasal to first day 6mg bupe (mine is WITHOUT naloxone) and then 2nd and 3rd day 12mg but even though not taking oxy or anything else for over 50hours and taking bupe as prescribed WD doesn't go away and bupe seems to almost induce it after alleviating it a tiny bit for a few hours. Why is it happening? Shouldn't PWD be over now and bupe only making me better? What should I do?
Oh and of course I have crazy cravings the only thing that really stops me now is that I don't have money for oxy and also the fact that I don't really know how I will react to them on bupe and I don't want to make my situation even worse.
Really every answer and help will be highly appreciated as I really don't know what to do anymore! I hoped I will at least feel normal physically and also hoped for my cravings to reduce but so far its been the opposite.
