Word. Thanks for your help guys. And yes I agree that the best course of action is to just make sure you don’t go into PWD in the first place, but as you know shit happens. So I just wanted to have all the facts cause I am planning on doing a 7-day taper (it goes like this 8mg day one, 8mg, 6mg, 6mg, 4mg, 2mg, 1mg on the 7th day. And it works perfectly at least for me. After that 7th day I didn’t feel shitty really at all. Just some trouble sleeping for a few nights that was it.) the taper is prescribed by my doctor. This will be my 2nd time doing this. Last time I was clean for 1yr 3months. But I also suffer from severe depression and PTSD and anxiety. And about a month and half before I relapsed I decided I was doing so good that I didn’t need my meds anymore. That maybe it was the heroin and other drugs making my Mental Health issues worse. But that’s not the case. And I got all messed up in the head and I got broken up with by my fianc? which but me into an even deeper depression and my PTSD was through the roof. I couldn’t even stand being at a grocery store for too long cause there was too many people. Which is not normal for me. I’ve played in bands all my teenage and adult life. I play guitar. So people don’t usually bother me. But ever since i developed PTSD it started to get worse and worse. And then going off my meds like that which are the only things that allow me to still function and be able to play in my band. Well I temporarily lost it and started using again.
Now I’m back on my meds and ready to give it another try. Cause before going off my meds and relapsing I was so happy. Truly happy for the first time since I was 21 (I’m gonna 32 now). Mental health had a lot to do with why I started using in the first place. I’ve been diagnosed with depression and anxiety since 16. Got my first ulcer at 18. And then I was diagnosed with PTSD at 23. Been using opiates since I was 21-ish. OxyContin and what not. Then started using heroin and began IV use at 26. And I’ve used other drugs throughout that time. Meth, Coke; molly, etc. I’ve been getting high since 13yrs old. And the year and 3months clean I just had up until just this last December which is when I relapsed. Two days before Christmas 2017. That was the first time since 13 that I’d been clean for more then a week or two here and there. Except for the times I was in jail for a couple months here and there. Once for 6months. But even in jail I got high any chance I got and I would usually manage to sneak in drugs of my own
Anyways. Just felt like I needed to share a small tiny part of my story. For those of you who read it. Thank you for listening and I hope oh maybe got something out of it.
