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Still have feelings of love/connection six weeks after taking X

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feellikeanutter

Greenlighter
Joined
Jun 17, 2015
Messages
16
Hi

Feeling like I'm going nuts as I still have feelings of connection/lust/love etc six weeks after taking X with a guy. I knew of the guy but first time having proper conversation with him or be one on one.

A group of us were away for a festival weekend and on the first night it ended up being the two of us taking X together. I enjoyed it, we had good conversation and opened up to each other and I feel we made a connection. It got quite intense, we ended up kissing and he wanted it to go further and so did I but I stopped myself as we were both in relationships and it just seemed surreal as we wouldn't have looked at each other before so I thought it was just fake. My relationship has since ended, not because of the guy I rolled with, but because it was already broken but it was just for one of us to say/accept it and the whole experience with the X made me look at things differently and didn't want to live a lie anymore.

Don't get me wrong, I know I can't be with this guy I rolled with and I don't want to have feelings for him, but I still have them and it is annoying as I doubt he feels the same. I really enjoyed the evening we spent together and took a lot out of the experience. I don't usually do X/MDMA. Has anyone else felt this before?
 
This doesn't seem like its drug related, just seems like you really enjoy his company :) first time i did X it opened my eyes on my view on girls (and that i need a girlfriend)
 
Thanks for your reply. Yes, the whole experience seems to have changed me.

*sigh* I need to forget about him! ?
 
This is a major issue i have with mdma. Unless the other feels as you do then you will be in a world of elevated pain. Mdma elevates love beyond the galaxy but it does it unnaturally at times causing heart ache to the highest level. Watch out ive been in this realm before and ive never felt such pain.
 
I respect you for not breaking your relationship that night.

In my experience it definitely can bond you to someone. But you also must keep in mind people are a lot more open and happy on m. Thats why doing m with someone you already love is great that way you know whats real. Anyways goodluck
 
MDMA brings people closer together. Although if you barely knew the guy before maybe it's just your brain associating MDMA and all the feelings it brings with it to that person.

Or maybe you just have a crush
 
Turnupboss, I am glad to hear it is not just me. You are so right. I feel doubtful he feels the same. Dealing with it best I can.

UnknownSKY, thank you! It really done my head in as I really wanted him but glad I didn't ruin my relationship that night also! You are right, and it is a lesson learnt. If I do M again, it will not be one on one unless I really know/love!

King0, thanks for your reply. You are right, I'm still trying to work it out. All seems crazy!

Thank you all for your replies!
 
turnupboss said:
This is a major issue i have with mdma. Unless the other feels as you do then you will be in a world of elevated pain. Mdma elevates love beyond the galaxy but it does it unnaturally at times causing heart ache to the highest level. Watch out ive been in this realm before and ive never felt such pain.
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Struggling. How did you deal with it. Really didn't realize this could happen. It's weird I seem to be having more feelings for him than I am for my long relationship that has just ended!
 
Sounds like me two years ago.

I know what you're feeling is strong but it's important to make sure you aren't confusing lust for love (and I'm not saying you don't know the difference.)

Just be careful is all - it could turn out wonderful or (like in my case) be quite a journey through love and lusts darker and more confusing sides!
 
i agree with ^

is it really love when its your first 1 on 1 conversation and you've taken a drug which chemically makes you feel like your in love..?
 
Seems to me a lot of things happened/changed for you over the past 6 weeks. Maybe you're focusing on the guy & that night because it was the last(?) positive experiece you remember?? Anyway, good luck. Hope you get your feelings sorted & things turn out well for you.
 
infectedmushroom said:
Sounds like me two years ago.

I know what you're feeling is strong but it's important to make sure you aren't confusing lust for love (and I'm not saying you don't know the difference.)

Just be careful is all - it could turn out wonderful or (like in my case) be quite a journey through love and lusts darker and more confusing sides!
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Thanks for you're input and I totally agree. I am not saying it is love, defo lust and desire but very strong still and it's weird because i thought it would go after the drugs wore off. I actually haven't felt like this before/for a looong time.
 
Mysterie said:
i agree with ^

is it really love when its your first 1 on 1 conversation and you've taken a drug which chemically makes you feel like your in love..?
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I agree, not saying I'm in love but rather I still have that loved up/connection feeling/desire which I was expecting to go.
 
Magz0 said:
Seems to me a lot of things happened/changed for you over the past 6 weeks. Maybe you're focusing on the guy & that night because it was the last(?) positive experiece you remember?? Anyway, good luck. Hope you get your feelings sorted & things turn out well for you.
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I think you are absolutely correct! Well summed up and thanks. I need to pull myself together
 
mdma induce the social aspect out of me, makes me really talkative, touch people (i'm not a touchy person sober) and feel connected with others on the same level... but really it's just the drugs doing the work.

gotta be careful, i've gotten into situations while rolling then after sobering up i thought "why did I do that!?"
 
trancetasy said:
mdma induce the social aspect out of me, makes me really talkative, touch people (i'm not a touchy person sober) and feel connected with others on the same level... but really it's just the drugs doing the work.

gotta be careful, i've gotten into situations while rolling then after sobering up i thought "why did I do that!?"
Click to expand...

True and I would have thought I would have regretted kissing him so passionately but I don't. I wanted him and I still have those feelings but I totally agree and will be very careful who I do it around in future because the connection is totally inappropriate.
 
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