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Sorry everyone.

TheUltimateFixx

TheUltimateFixx

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 8, 2021
Messages
3,431
Some of you might be wondering what's become of me recently on here. Since I used to post A LOT since joining. I'm not so selfishly deluded as to think anyone worries as such, because none of you lot know me and I don't know you.

This is just a random post to nobody in particular to say I'm having a real bad time at home, in my relationship, mental - health wise AND drug - wise right now.

PTSD is hitting me for six when it's been under control for months, lots of self - harm, lots of drinking etc. Keeping off anything except alcohol at the minute but tbh the other stuff would help me more with my mental state AND be less insulting to my overtaxed liver ; but what can you do in a situation of aggressive prohibition. 🤷‍♂️
(Especially since the gear is even more shit than usual and the street prices ridiculous.)

...Anyways hoping to be around cheerful as usual again quite soon. And in the meantime for anyone who even gives a tired fuck, no I'm not about to commit unalive. I'm too much of a bloody-minded bastard for that.
 
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The UltimateFixx said:
Yeah man, no ffs NOT 'okay' on several fronts atm; but soldiering on y'know -?

Like sometimes that's all you can do and much thanks for asking. 👍
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Sorry mate, I responded before you edited your post detailing the PTSD etc. so it might have seemed overly flippant.

Fuckin hell, I can't begin to imagine what you're going through right now, but congrats for soldiering on.

<3
 
F.U.B.A.R. said:
Sorry mate, I responded before you edited your post detailing the PTSD etc. so it might have seemed overly flippant.

Fuckin hell, I can't begin to imagine what you're going through right now, but congrats for soldiering on.

<3
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You could sum that up as, I refuse to give up on my life over crap I'm not responsible for. Make sense -?
 
Actually was wondering where you been . Didn’t your boyfriend move home with you or something ? What’s happening he’s not liking it where you are or what ? Hope things turn around for you . Always kinda thought it was cool you were able to just chip opiates because I just become obsessed .
 
Best Friends Love GIF by Kennymays
 
The UltimateFixx said:
What pisses me off is, physicians back in the day used to be allowed to prescribe opiates in a clinical setting, to combat symptoms of major depression or panicked agitation, AND IT WORKED.

Nowadays this practice is not admissible even when it could be very helpful.
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I've read opioids are good for bipolar as well

These days they don't even prescribe it for PAIN anymore in the US *eyeroll* :rolleyes:
 
Here to prescribe you pain meds must be cancer patient.If you have some post surgery pain or other painful condition only tramadol.even this is difficult.codeine in pure form not available anymore.dhc-if you can find,cause they import low quantities.But docs.are more willing to prescribe benzos.-a lot of people are on them+lyrica(otc) and ad drugs
 
Negentropic said:
I've read opioids are good for bipolar as well

These days they don't even prescribe it for PAIN anymore in the US *eyeroll* :rolleyes:
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Inadvertently deleted my post on the historical use of opiates in psychiatry somehow but yeah the point stands.

PS manic depression (bipolar) in fact was the example I quoted.
 
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Larimar said:
Always kinda thought it was cool you were able to just chip opiates because I just become obsessed .
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The matter really is quite simple. If you get obsessed then you're not cut out for chipping.

... that said, the obsessive tendency is something it's possible to grow out of.
Whether or not somebody reaches that point (or never developed an addictive attachment in the first place) is the sole measure of whether they can use on a recreational basis or not.
 
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It's my first time wandering around the halls in this darkside section of bluelight... Not sure that I was expecting to find myself two for two, with clicking on threads that have been helpful to me-- Not only regarding topic, etc; I am impressed with the energies i feel are being expressed through genuine care for one another .... **Idk if it was chill to post up right here but I am glad I did all the same.... Makes me think that i am likely to be back around here when I am needing to reach out so I can GTFO when that case of MonkeyMind sets in again....looking forward to a few successful round of self care💞💃
 
CrossEyedMary said:
It's my first time wandering around the halls in this darkside section of bluelight... Not sure that I was expecting to find myself two for two, with clicking on threads that have been helpful to me-- Not only regarding topic, etc; I am impressed with the energies i feel are being expressed through genuine care for one another .... **Idk if it was chill to post up right here but I am glad I did all the same.... Makes me think that i am likely to be back around here when I am needing to reach out so I can GTFO when that case of MonkeyMind sets in again....looking forward to a few successful round of self care💞💃
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Welcome to The Dark Side hun, glad you found us in this little neck of the woods 😊❤
 
The UltimateFixx said:
Some of you might be wondering what's become of me recently on here. Since I used to post A LOT since joining. I'm not so selfishly deluded as to think anyone worries as such, because none of you lot know me and I don't know you.

This is just a random post to nobody in particular to say I'm having a real bad time at home, in my relationship, mental - health wise AND drug - wise right now.

PTSD is hitting me for six when it's been under control for months, lots of self - harm, lots of drinking etc. Keeping off anything except alcohol at the minute but tbh the other stuff would help me more with my mental state AND be less insulting to my overtaxed liver ; but what can you do in a situation of aggressive prohibition. 🤷‍♂️
(Especially since the gear is even more shit than usual and the street prices ridiculous.)

...Anyways hoping to be around cheerful as usual again quite soon. And in the meantime for anyone who even gives a tired fuck, no I'm not about to commit unalive. I'm too much of a bloody-minded bastard for that.
Click to expand...
I have PTSD and bipolAr. Since 2005. Trying EMDR next hoping it will slow w some pain Nd now recent loss of my fiancé in my arms. Last week. Or microdosing shrooms?
 
Dedinside81 said:
I have PTSD and bipolAr. Since 2005. Trying EMDR next hoping it will slow w some pain Nd now recent loss of my fiancé in my arms. Last week. Or microdosing shrooms?
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mdma assisted therapy would be so good altho it isn't available yet uu it's still in clínical trials.
 
Dedinside81 said:
I have PTSD and bipolAr. Since 2005. Trying EMDR next hoping it will slow w some pain Nd now recent loss of my fiancé in my arms. Last week. Or microdosing shrooms?
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I'm sorry to hear about your fiance. I lost my fiancee in 2002 in a car wreck. I wish there was something I could tell you to make the pain go away but nothing anyone told me back then helped. The only thing that helped was the passing of time. And as time passed the pain didn't really go away, I just got used to it. Please know that you are not alone. I'm glad you found Bluelight. Peace to you <3
 
Jerry Atrick said:
I'm sorry to hear about your fiance. I lost my fiancee in 2002 in a car wreck. I wish there was something I could tell you to make the pain go away but nothing anyone told me back then helped. The only thing that helped was the passing of time. And as time passed the pain didn't really go away, I just got used to it. Please know that you are not alone. I'm glad you found Bluelight. Peace to you <3
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It fucking sucks. The pain some days is almost unbearably insane.
 
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