Mental Health some advice on tapering my Valium dosage

[inerspace]

Hey all - well, it’s time to start looking at my benzo use a little more seriously and this forum seems more friendly for advice than, say, Reddit. Sorry if this is lengthily, just trying to get a sense of what I’m in for - my panic attacks have started to increase with family and school stressors adding, so I can’t tell if my heightened anxiety is due to stress or actual withdrawal symptoms manifesting.. a little history,
I started taking 5-10mg Valium, unprescribed but from a pharmacy reliably (I’m lucky like that) Used relatively infrequently in 2021 in response to anxiety from, you know… the world. In general
The past year I’ve been keeping careful track of my dosage because I started learning more about the dangers and wanted to taper myself down.
Most recent history to give a sense of my habit- three months ago, I took 150mg over the 30 day month, two months ago, I took 90mg spaced over the month 31 days, then last month I took 65mg over 31 days - I know people take way more than this regularly and have varying degrees of WD symptoms. This month I have only taken 1/2 Xanax to help me sleep during some family drama nights.. somehow I thought that would be better, but today I’ve experienced strange panic attack symptoms - all the classic benzo WD symptoms. I got a little scared, so I figured I’d look for some advice in the forums -
My questions are, obviously, the normal question - am I gonna die? Logically, and from my investigations around the forum, I feel like I’m kind of in the clear from risk of extreme WD complications, but my panic attack is trying to convince me otherwise. Second question, am I a candidate for controlled tapering, and what should I expect or set for myself as parameters?
Be gentile with me, thank you for any and all advice, experience, tips and tricks because I am just a very smol girl in a big scary world and want to keep somewhat functional so I can keep my 3.9 gpa in college.
Thanks guys

 

[Pissed_and_messed]

For some people, with longer half-life benzos, it can take week before WD symptoms set in. And then they get worse for a while. Usually it takes little less than that.

You might also be kindling-you withdrawed or almost withdrawed, then confused your nervous system by reintroducing benzo to it. I guess this is it, considering your rapid and sudden "decline".

It is seen with almost all drugs. Your nervous system learns to cope with "supposedly" incorrect state following from administering drug... Throwing you into withdrawals easier and easier every time. And recovering old tolerance.

I am no sure how to go on from there... But keep on getting off... As slow and steady as needs. If you decide you must wind down or stop panic somewhere after taking your last dose, prefer gabapentinoids (which are hard meds also, don't do too much too often), THC/CBD and propranolol. Three latter are pretty safe if you have no conditions making them issue. THC can make you anxious possibly, but it is safe russian roulette. Whatever works for you.

For some, kindling never goes away. Stay off of benzos at least a fucking long time after you have taken your last dose, was it the xanax yesterday or diazepam this month or whatever. Honestly I wouldn't recommend touching it ever again if you are not planning staying on it. Why take risk of more nasty WD time for dealing with very short nasty panic attack time?

 

[inerspace]

Thank you for your reply -
I had some Xanax on hand but they are usually too strong for me so I don’t like to take them. For some reason it felt more responsible to take 1/4 to sleep bc they have such a short active/half life than Valium… I did that twice after dealing with hectic family drama. Now I’m thinking maybe that was a weird switch up for my body since I’ve been basically tapering diazepam, maybe just shocked my system.
Im curious, is there any such thing as a tolerable level of benzo use lol?
Not that I am interested in maintaining… just curious for comparison what a “reasonable” level for panic disorders would be considered, since I was never scripted.
I’m trying to decipher the Ashton method now, thinking the 10mg diazepam/day protocol halfed, since three months ago I took the equivalent of 5 a day, albeit my usage wasn’t daily.
I guess self medicating in the era of Covid World extremes was my number one big time mistake

Thanks for your support and knowledge, it helps a lot

 

[n3ophy7e]

Hey all - well, it’s time to start looking at my benzo use a little more seriously and this forum seems more friendly for advice than, say, Reddit. Sorry if this is lengthily, just trying to get a sense of what I’m in for - my panic attacks have started to increase with family and school stressors adding, so I can’t tell if my heightened anxiety is due to stress or actual withdrawal symptoms manifesting.. a little history,
I started taking 5-10mg Valium, unprescribed but from a pharmacy reliably (I’m lucky like that) Used relatively infrequently in 2021 in response to anxiety from, you know… the world. In general
The past year I’ve been keeping careful track of my dosage because I started learning more about the dangers and wanted to taper myself down.
Most recent history to give a sense of my habit- three months ago, I took 150mg over the 30 day month, two months ago, I took 90mg spaced over the month 31 days, then last month I took 65mg over 31 days - I know people take way more than this regularly and have varying degrees of WD symptoms. This month I have only taken 1/2 Xanax to help me sleep during some family drama nights.. somehow I thought that would be better, but today I’ve experienced strange panic attack symptoms - all the classic benzo WD symptoms. I got a little scared, so I figured I’d look for some advice in the forums -
My questions are, obviously, the normal question - am I gonna die? Logically, and from my investigations around the forum, I feel like I’m kind of in the clear from risk of extreme WD complications, but my panic attack is trying to convince me otherwise. Second question, am I a candidate for controlled tapering, and what should I expect or set for myself as parameters?
Be gentile with me, thank you for any and all advice, experience, tips and tricks because I am just a very smol girl in a big scary world and want to keep somewhat functional so I can keep my 3.9 gpa in college.
Thanks guys

Hi there, and welcome to Bluelight
However we might need a bit more information about your DAILY usage. How much valium are you taking each day?
Are you taking xanax AND valium, or just the valium regularly and the xanax as a one-off?

 

[deficiT]

Hey all - well, it’s time to start looking at my benzo use a little more seriously and this forum seems more friendly for advice than, say, Reddit. Sorry if this is lengthily, just trying to get a sense of what I’m in for - my panic attacks have started to increase with family and school stressors adding, so I can’t tell if my heightened anxiety is due to stress or actual withdrawal symptoms manifesting.. a little history,
I started taking 5-10mg Valium, unprescribed but from a pharmacy reliably (I’m lucky like that) Used relatively infrequently in 2021 in response to anxiety from, you know… the world. In general
The past year I’ve been keeping careful track of my dosage because I started learning more about the dangers and wanted to taper myself down.
Most recent history to give a sense of my habit- three months ago, I took 150mg over the 30 day month, two months ago, I took 90mg spaced over the month 31 days, then last month I took 65mg over 31 days - I know people take way more than this regularly and have varying degrees of WD symptoms. This month I have only taken 1/2 Xanax to help me sleep during some family drama nights.. somehow I thought that would be better, but today I’ve experienced strange panic attack symptoms - all the classic benzo WD symptoms. I got a little scared, so I figured I’d look for some advice in the forums -
My questions are, obviously, the normal question - am I gonna die? Logically, and from my investigations around the forum, I feel like I’m kind of in the clear from risk of extreme WD complications, but my panic attack is trying to convince me otherwise. Second question, am I a candidate for controlled tapering, and what should I expect or set for myself as parameters?
Be gentile with me, thank you for any and all advice, experience, tips and tricks because I am just a very smol girl in a big scary world and want to keep somewhat functional so I can keep my 3.9 gpa in college.
Thanks guys

It doesn't sound to me like you're "gonna die" by any means. Xanax has a shorter half life than Valium, and so maybe the levels of benzos in your blood kind of spiked a little bit higher than usual (.5mg alprazolam is equivalent to 10mg diazepam and it works faster and goes away faster) and then you came down quicker than you usually do.

To me it sounds like you're going about this in the best way possible already. I'm sure your doctor will be able to tell you more about what your taper schedule will be like, but the way you've gone about it so far is good

I would also just mention that you should prepare for the possibility that your panic attacks will increase as you get off of benzos, as of course that's the reason you started taking them. Are you on any other meds? Maybe you should consider another med with better long term safety that will still help your panic attacks. There are other options, such as SSRI's, SNRI's, and Buspar, among others.

If you'd like, I can move this thread over to either the Health & Recovery or Mental Health subforum, where you might get more views and activity.

And lastly, welcome to Bluelight!

 

[inerspace]

Hi there, and welcome to Bluelight
You've come to the right place.
However we might need a bit more information about your DAILY usage. How much valium are you taking each day?
Are you taking xanax AND valium, or just the valium regularly and the xanax as a one-off?

Honestly, just finally talking about it is relieving. I’m grateful there are supportive forums I can turn to with so much experience and knowledge. It’s really heart warming, and I’m feeling ever such the softness right now.

So, as I was unscripted throughout my use, it hasn’t been on a particular schedule (learning this as mistake 1) At first for fun, and as my denial has started to fade, I’ve tried to put myself on somewhat of a discernible “schedule” to let my body start to regulate. It seems like that might be something that will help me regain self balance first and foremost.

It doesn't sound to me like you're "gonna die" by any means. Xanax has a shorter half life than Valium, and so maybe the levels of benzos in your blood kind of spiked a little bit higher than usual (.5mg alprazolam is equivalent to 10mg diazepam and it works faster and goes away faster) and then you came down quicker than you usually do.

To me it sounds like you're going about this in the best way possible already. I'm sure your doctor will be able to tell you more about what your taper schedule will be like, but the way you've gone about it so far is good

I would also just mention that you should prepare for the possibility that your panic attacks will increase as you get off of benzos, as of course that's the reason you started taking them. Are you on any other meds? Maybe you should consider another med with better long term safety that will still help your panic attacks. There are other options, such as SSRI's, SNRI's, and Buspar, among others.

If you'd like, I can move this thread over to either the Health & Recovery or Mental Health subforum, where you might get more views and activity.

And lastly, welcome to Bluelight!

thank you so much The views, activity and responses I’ve gotten So far have been sooooo helpful. I appreciate everything. Truly just being honest for once with myself and people who have the experience helps a lot. I *know* I’m relatively in the clear for medically significant WD symptoms, but those sudden panic attacks really have a way of convincing you of the irrational things. Dang that lizard brain…

I had NO idea that .5xan was = to 10val, and would explain why I never really liked the Xanax. To be clearer, the .5 was in two 1/4th doses over two weeks bc I was really trying to not take my Valium and keep up my “slow down” progress with that. Although now I can see how that might have not helped as much as I thought in the moment… whoops. To be even clearer - I was not prescribed via dr - however I do have a reliable supply from a pharmacy, and am normally quite responsible with my self awareness. Once I learned about the dangers, I immediately started tracking my use to make sure I wasn’t going a little wheeeeeeee

You guys have been really great and I’ve been lurking this forum for a few weeks, and I feel comfortable finally admitting what’s been going on. That’s been a great relief so far thank you all from the bottom of my rapid heartbeat

 

[n3ophy7e]

Honestly, just finally talking about it is relieving. I’m grateful there are supportive forums I can turn to with so much experience and knowledge. It’s really heart warming, and I’m feeling ever such the softness right now.

So, as I was unscripted throughout my use, it hasn’t been on a particular schedule (learning this as mistake 1) At first for fun, and as my denial has started to fade, I’ve tried to put myself on somewhat of a discernible “schedule” to let my body start to regulate. It seems like that might be something that will help me regain self balance first and foremost.

thank you so much The views, activity and responses I’ve gotten So far have been sooooo helpful. I appreciate everything. Truly just being honest for once with myself and people who have the experience helps a lot. I *know* I’m relatively in the clear for medically significant WD symptoms, but those sudden panic attacks really have a way of convincing you of the irrational things. Dang that lizard brain…

I had NO idea that .5xan was = to 10val, and would explain why I never really liked the Xanax. To be clearer, the .5 was in two 1/4th doses over two weeks bc I was really trying to not take my Valium and keep up my “slow down” progress with that. Although now I can see how that might have not helped as much as I thought in the moment… whoops. To be even clearer - I was not prescribed via dr - however I do have a reliable supply from a pharmacy, and am normally quite responsible with my self awareness. Once I learned about the dangers, I immediately started tracking my use to make sure I wasn’t going a little wheeeeeeee

You guys have been really great and I’ve been lurking this forum for a few weeks, and I feel comfortable finally admitting what’s been going on. That’s been a great relief so far thank you all from the bottom of my rapid heartbeat

That's wonderful to hear, I'm glad you're feeling a bit better just from talking about it. It is very often the case. Just admitting to a problem that you have and sharing it openly with others can relieve so much built up pressure huh!
Please continue to talk to us about what you're going through. You will be amazed at how many people here have experienced exactly what you're going through, and can therefore give excellent and very helpful advice and support. You are definitely not alone in this

 

[deficiT]

NMI -----> MH

 

[inerspace]

Hi there, and welcome to Bluelight
You've come to the right place.
However we might need a bit more information about your DAILY usage. How much valium are you taking each day?
Are you taking xanax AND valium, or just the valium regularly and the xanax as a one-off?

That's wonderful to hear, I'm glad you're feeling a bit better just from talking about it. It is very often the case. Just admitting to a problem that we have and sharing it openly with others can relieve so much built up pressure huh!
Please continue to talk to us about what you're going through. You will be amazed at how many people here have experienced exactly what you're going through, and cam therefore give excellent and very helpful advice and support. You are definitely not alone in this

thank you thank you I will,