ForEverAfter
Ex-Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 16, 2012
- Messages
- 2,836
Thursday, 14th June 2012 (Preparation Day One)
No drugs for a couple of days. Need to finish off university stuff. I've ordered a couple of ounces of Amanita Muscaria from an online vendor . But, i need to repeat the Soma experiment before then. I should go out today and get specimens, before they get infested with maggots. I must. I go hunting. Pick six caps, ranging in size from small to very large. I definitely have enough for at least one more dose now. It's just a matter of preparation. I figure the preparation time can be reduced to twenty four hours if I play with the settings on the evaporator; and dry the mushrooms at a much higher temperature.
The withdrawals are pretty minor since I've just recently had a long break. The first day was difficult, but now I'm fine. Still feel pretty fucked up from the amount of DXM I've consumed over the past fortnight. I've lost track how many grams I've had. Four, maybe. Too many. I feel dissociated with my body, slightly. I'm high, still, from yesterday. Maybe that's why the withdrawals are so minimal. I'd prefer to think that I'm not going to have any trouble quitting this time, but you never know. I'm not going to be able to use psilocybin, or anything else, to deal with the lack of other drugs. From now on, it's five days sober per week. Those are the rules. Even if I prepare the Muscaria tonight, I can't have any of it until Saturday. And I'm going to the peninsula on Friday to see my family. So I can't have any Saturday. The next time I'll be able to trip is next Monday, four days away. I'm anticipating Monday more than I have ever anticipated anything in my entire life. I can't stop thinking about Soma. It has changed my life. The potential is massive; before I can tap into it properly, I need to get to know the Ancients a little better. There are unanswered questions.
The experience was so meaningful that I don't really see the point of taking other drugs anymore. That's why it's so easy for me to quit. Soma devalues every other drug on the planet, except for DMT. I am eager to have Soma by itself and to combine it with other substances including DMT and nitrous. The next experiment will be Soma and nitrous.
The withdrawal symptoms are coming back. The dextromethorphan has worn off, mostly. I still have a slight buzz around my head. Need to have a cigarette. Just one. I'm too stressed out, trying to get everything in for university. It doesn't make sense to try and force myself to quit cold turkey when I have twenty four hours left of the trimester.
Friday 15th June, 2012
I turn the temperature on the evaporator up, to speed up the preparation proccess.
8:30 pm
I consume sixty one gel caps, containing approximately 36.5 grams dry Soma. I cannot wait to revisit the universe. To be one with infinity again. This is the best drug I have ever done, the wisest most incredibly beautiful ancient consciousness. I love Soma.
Am planning on drinking my urine. I need to consume a lot of water so that it doesn't taste bad. I'm not sure how long the body takes to translate ibotenic acid and expel pure muscimol through urine. Whether I should drink my urine at the beginning of the trip or the middle or the end. I don't know.
9:05 pm
I can feel the effects already. I am buzzing slightly. I urinate into a Coca-Cola bottle and put it in the freezer, on ice. I figure, the piss will be easier to drink if it's cold.
9:10 pm
I drink roughly a third of a bottle of cough syrup containing around 200 mg DXM. I figure this will help with muscle relaxation and dissociation without the accompanied amnesia of higher doses. It is also all I have left.
9:15 pm
I grab the bottle out of the freezer and piss into it again.
9:20 pm
I vaporize an eigth of gram of decent weed.
9:25 pm
I urinate into the Coca-Cola bottle again. I'd estimate about 400 ml so far.
9:30 pm
I vaporize another eighth of a gram of weed. I've been smoking joints all day. I'm pretty stoned.
9:45 pm
I piss again. Over half a liter now. Need to start drinking it soon. I'm going to vaporize another eight of a gram of weed. Starting to feel weird. Not sure if the soma dose is high enough. Eighty-five percent of the drug comes out through the urine, so recycling should ensure that I get up to the right dose eventually. Assuming I'm capable of drinking pee. It can't taste much worse than strong Amanita tea. Or mescaline juice. It's just the mental weight that it has. Piss. Drinking piss. That's disgusting. Right? Maybe not. It's hard to understand why I would consider doing this, I get that. You have to have a fully dissociative Soma experience to understand it. The drug is absolutely incredible, in sufficient quantities. People eat one or two caps and they say "that wasn't worth it." James Arthur, who is a bit of a nutcase, said that it took him ten times to finally have a proper experience. He has since devoted his life to this toadstool. It is the precursor to religion, God and expanded human consciousness. It is the most powerful, the oldest, and wisest, thing on the planet.
Instead of vaporizing, I roll a joint. I am twitching very slightly.
10:05 pm
I get the bottle out of the fridge and kneel down in front of the heater. I close my eyes and turn my brain off. I don't think of what I've been taught to think. That this is disgusting. I am doing it as part of a spiritual experiment. And people have been doing it for thousands of years. I drink, fast. I figure it's probably going to hit me at some point, psychologically, and I'm going to have to stop. I might as well get a lot down the hatch before that happens. But it doesn't happen. The piss doesn't taste nearly as bad as I thought it would. I drink 90 percent of it in one go. 450 ml. Then I take a deep breath, drink the rest, and brush my teeth. As I'm brushing my teeth, I feel warm waves flow through my body. It's from drinking the piss. I can feel it, almost instantly. Maybe because the muscimol is translated before I consume it. I don't know. As I'm typing this I'm starting to twitch a lot. My arm muscles are twitching. I feel very strange. It's hard to focus on the screen. My eyes are drifting about. I feel like I need to lie down. But I want to smoke first. This joint hanging out of my mouth.
10:12 pm
I am so stoned. I don't know why I force myself to keep smoking. Must be over a gram today, so far, and I woke up in the afternoon.
10:26 pm
I feel very sedated. Need to lie down. Need to pee also. Not going to do it in the bottle this time. Hope the one recycle was enough. I'm not spasming as much as I'd like to be. That's a weird sentence. But it's true. Although I had a full stomach this time.
Feel a little nauseaus. Got to go pee and lie down.
??
? pm
I am shown the meaning of life, much clearer than last time. I find myself standing in my study, my pants soaked. I realize I am peeing. But I am in the middle of a massive revelation. I am travelling through time, so it's hard to stop. I keep peeing, then I take off my pants and leave them on the floor.I smack my knee on the radiator. I walk into the doorframe, twice, smashing my forehead, just above my eyebrow, and my nose. When I wake up I am wearing no pants. There is dried blood on the sleeve of my shirt. I try to look for the source of the blood. My nose and eyebrow are red but not bleeding. It's my lip. I bit into my lip at some point. There is dried blood on it. I scrape the dried blood away, and it starts flowing again.
I cannot remember the revelations this time. They would make absolutely no sense if I tried to explain them. It's always the same thing. The beginning and the end of the universe. Infinity. Inifnity is very difficult to comprehend. The strange this is about these trips, is they directly relate to each other. I wrote down, "You're going to laugh when you hear this setnence." This relates to the divine co-incidence. I cannot explain it to you, but it is present in every one of my trips. During the second and third trip, I understood the significance of things from the first and second trips. When I return to that world, the pieces are all there again and the fragments I managed to take through to the real world make sense.
I have been taking too much muscimol. I need to take controlled doses. In order to do that, I need a massive quantity (200 grams or so) of Amanita Muscaria. Even if they are all different levels of potency it doesn't matter. All I have to do is dry them and pulverize them, then mix the powder together. Then I can try fifteen grams, twenty grams, etc. Eating 36.5 grams with DXM and a lot of weed, then redosing with recycled urine is too much. I injured myself. I don't care so much about the injuries though. What bothers me is my inability to take the experience back with me. It seems the closer you get to the truth, the harder it is to understand it in the real world. The first trip I had I didn't quite break through to the other side, so I brought back the most information. I think breaking through, just slightly, is what I should be aiming to do. Somewhere between the first and second trip. But, due to the variation of potency, it's impossible to guage my next dose based on any of my previous experiences. Well, that's not quite true. I have 13.5 grams left from last night. I am very tempted to consume it now, and drink my urine one or twice. Making it 27 grams or 40.5. Assuming I double the absorption of muscimol with recycled Soma, last night I consumed the equivelant of 73 grams, non-recycled. I think I would have broken through without the urine.
Recycling should be used to lower the initial dose, rather than being used to multiply an already ample dose and send me into utter oblivion.
I need to repeat the experiment.
No drugs for a couple of days. Need to finish off university stuff. I've ordered a couple of ounces of Amanita Muscaria from an online vendor . But, i need to repeat the Soma experiment before then. I should go out today and get specimens, before they get infested with maggots. I must. I go hunting. Pick six caps, ranging in size from small to very large. I definitely have enough for at least one more dose now. It's just a matter of preparation. I figure the preparation time can be reduced to twenty four hours if I play with the settings on the evaporator; and dry the mushrooms at a much higher temperature.
The withdrawals are pretty minor since I've just recently had a long break. The first day was difficult, but now I'm fine. Still feel pretty fucked up from the amount of DXM I've consumed over the past fortnight. I've lost track how many grams I've had. Four, maybe. Too many. I feel dissociated with my body, slightly. I'm high, still, from yesterday. Maybe that's why the withdrawals are so minimal. I'd prefer to think that I'm not going to have any trouble quitting this time, but you never know. I'm not going to be able to use psilocybin, or anything else, to deal with the lack of other drugs. From now on, it's five days sober per week. Those are the rules. Even if I prepare the Muscaria tonight, I can't have any of it until Saturday. And I'm going to the peninsula on Friday to see my family. So I can't have any Saturday. The next time I'll be able to trip is next Monday, four days away. I'm anticipating Monday more than I have ever anticipated anything in my entire life. I can't stop thinking about Soma. It has changed my life. The potential is massive; before I can tap into it properly, I need to get to know the Ancients a little better. There are unanswered questions.
The experience was so meaningful that I don't really see the point of taking other drugs anymore. That's why it's so easy for me to quit. Soma devalues every other drug on the planet, except for DMT. I am eager to have Soma by itself and to combine it with other substances including DMT and nitrous. The next experiment will be Soma and nitrous.
The withdrawal symptoms are coming back. The dextromethorphan has worn off, mostly. I still have a slight buzz around my head. Need to have a cigarette. Just one. I'm too stressed out, trying to get everything in for university. It doesn't make sense to try and force myself to quit cold turkey when I have twenty four hours left of the trimester.
Friday 15th June, 2012
I turn the temperature on the evaporator up, to speed up the preparation proccess.
8:30 pm
I consume sixty one gel caps, containing approximately 36.5 grams dry Soma. I cannot wait to revisit the universe. To be one with infinity again. This is the best drug I have ever done, the wisest most incredibly beautiful ancient consciousness. I love Soma.
Am planning on drinking my urine. I need to consume a lot of water so that it doesn't taste bad. I'm not sure how long the body takes to translate ibotenic acid and expel pure muscimol through urine. Whether I should drink my urine at the beginning of the trip or the middle or the end. I don't know.
9:05 pm
I can feel the effects already. I am buzzing slightly. I urinate into a Coca-Cola bottle and put it in the freezer, on ice. I figure, the piss will be easier to drink if it's cold.
9:10 pm
I drink roughly a third of a bottle of cough syrup containing around 200 mg DXM. I figure this will help with muscle relaxation and dissociation without the accompanied amnesia of higher doses. It is also all I have left.
9:15 pm
I grab the bottle out of the freezer and piss into it again.
9:20 pm
I vaporize an eigth of gram of decent weed.
9:25 pm
I urinate into the Coca-Cola bottle again. I'd estimate about 400 ml so far.
9:30 pm
I vaporize another eighth of a gram of weed. I've been smoking joints all day. I'm pretty stoned.
9:45 pm
I piss again. Over half a liter now. Need to start drinking it soon. I'm going to vaporize another eight of a gram of weed. Starting to feel weird. Not sure if the soma dose is high enough. Eighty-five percent of the drug comes out through the urine, so recycling should ensure that I get up to the right dose eventually. Assuming I'm capable of drinking pee. It can't taste much worse than strong Amanita tea. Or mescaline juice. It's just the mental weight that it has. Piss. Drinking piss. That's disgusting. Right? Maybe not. It's hard to understand why I would consider doing this, I get that. You have to have a fully dissociative Soma experience to understand it. The drug is absolutely incredible, in sufficient quantities. People eat one or two caps and they say "that wasn't worth it." James Arthur, who is a bit of a nutcase, said that it took him ten times to finally have a proper experience. He has since devoted his life to this toadstool. It is the precursor to religion, God and expanded human consciousness. It is the most powerful, the oldest, and wisest, thing on the planet.
Instead of vaporizing, I roll a joint. I am twitching very slightly.
10:05 pm
I get the bottle out of the fridge and kneel down in front of the heater. I close my eyes and turn my brain off. I don't think of what I've been taught to think. That this is disgusting. I am doing it as part of a spiritual experiment. And people have been doing it for thousands of years. I drink, fast. I figure it's probably going to hit me at some point, psychologically, and I'm going to have to stop. I might as well get a lot down the hatch before that happens. But it doesn't happen. The piss doesn't taste nearly as bad as I thought it would. I drink 90 percent of it in one go. 450 ml. Then I take a deep breath, drink the rest, and brush my teeth. As I'm brushing my teeth, I feel warm waves flow through my body. It's from drinking the piss. I can feel it, almost instantly. Maybe because the muscimol is translated before I consume it. I don't know. As I'm typing this I'm starting to twitch a lot. My arm muscles are twitching. I feel very strange. It's hard to focus on the screen. My eyes are drifting about. I feel like I need to lie down. But I want to smoke first. This joint hanging out of my mouth.
10:12 pm
I am so stoned. I don't know why I force myself to keep smoking. Must be over a gram today, so far, and I woke up in the afternoon.
10:26 pm
I feel very sedated. Need to lie down. Need to pee also. Not going to do it in the bottle this time. Hope the one recycle was enough. I'm not spasming as much as I'd like to be. That's a weird sentence. But it's true. Although I had a full stomach this time.
Feel a little nauseaus. Got to go pee and lie down.
??
? pm I am shown the meaning of life, much clearer than last time. I find myself standing in my study, my pants soaked. I realize I am peeing. But I am in the middle of a massive revelation. I am travelling through time, so it's hard to stop. I keep peeing, then I take off my pants and leave them on the floor.I smack my knee on the radiator. I walk into the doorframe, twice, smashing my forehead, just above my eyebrow, and my nose. When I wake up I am wearing no pants. There is dried blood on the sleeve of my shirt. I try to look for the source of the blood. My nose and eyebrow are red but not bleeding. It's my lip. I bit into my lip at some point. There is dried blood on it. I scrape the dried blood away, and it starts flowing again.
I cannot remember the revelations this time. They would make absolutely no sense if I tried to explain them. It's always the same thing. The beginning and the end of the universe. Infinity. Inifnity is very difficult to comprehend. The strange this is about these trips, is they directly relate to each other. I wrote down, "You're going to laugh when you hear this setnence." This relates to the divine co-incidence. I cannot explain it to you, but it is present in every one of my trips. During the second and third trip, I understood the significance of things from the first and second trips. When I return to that world, the pieces are all there again and the fragments I managed to take through to the real world make sense.
I have been taking too much muscimol. I need to take controlled doses. In order to do that, I need a massive quantity (200 grams or so) of Amanita Muscaria. Even if they are all different levels of potency it doesn't matter. All I have to do is dry them and pulverize them, then mix the powder together. Then I can try fifteen grams, twenty grams, etc. Eating 36.5 grams with DXM and a lot of weed, then redosing with recycled urine is too much. I injured myself. I don't care so much about the injuries though. What bothers me is my inability to take the experience back with me. It seems the closer you get to the truth, the harder it is to understand it in the real world. The first trip I had I didn't quite break through to the other side, so I brought back the most information. I think breaking through, just slightly, is what I should be aiming to do. Somewhere between the first and second trip. But, due to the variation of potency, it's impossible to guage my next dose based on any of my previous experiences. Well, that's not quite true. I have 13.5 grams left from last night. I am very tempted to consume it now, and drink my urine one or twice. Making it 27 grams or 40.5. Assuming I double the absorption of muscimol with recycled Soma, last night I consumed the equivelant of 73 grams, non-recycled. I think I would have broken through without the urine.
Recycling should be used to lower the initial dose, rather than being used to multiply an already ample dose and send me into utter oblivion.
I need to repeat the experiment.
