Sober living

[Dcole461]

Hello all,

I am a recovering meth addict. I stopped using everyday more than a year and a half ago but I've relapsed 3 times since then. I had been completely sober for about 6 months but I've started drinking and smoking weed again. I really want to be completely sober but I like the feeling of being messed up. I do have a prescription for medical marijuana, but too much thc makes me feel anxious, It used to calm my nerves but the whole pandemic has made me very sensitive to it. I want to be sober, but I feel like wanting it isn't enough. Giving up meth was one of the hardest things I've ever done, so giving up the others should be easy. What do I do? My meth addiction has left me with severe memory issues, but my cognitive ability is still there. Will the memory issues get worse? Or stay the same if I eat healthy and exercise: What's the point of being sober if my mental decline just gets worse?

 

[Jabberwocky]

I don’t believe that cognitive problems continue to get worse once you stop. However, memory impairment may be permanent. I am currently addicted to meth but did previously use for 6 months straight and then go totally abstinent for 4 years. During that 4 years I definitely felt my cognitive impairment get better but long-term memory and working memory were still pretty impaired after 4 years. I managed to do a Master’s degree during those 4 abstinent years so meth hadn’t rendered me completely retarded although it did feel like I was right at the end of my using.

As far as abstinence goes, I have no interest in any other drug except LSD. So abstaining from meth is the only need and I’m generally sober from all other substances anyway. However, if I were to start to drink, even socially, I’m sure it would lead to a meth relapse. If abstinence is your goal but you cannot achieve it by willpower and lifestyle changes alone then your best bet it AA/NA for at least a period of time until you recover your strength. I plan to quit meth on New Year’s Day and will likely go to 90 NA meetings in 90 days as a lifestyle circuit breaker. I’m reasonably confident I won’t need it after that.

 

[Jabberwocky]

i definitely noticed cognitive decline when i got into recovery from a pretty horrendous crack addiction. i just joke that i can't remember things that were more than 5 minutes ago but tbh i don't really find it that funny, just not sure how else you're supposed to broach it when you're in company and forget something. you can't just tell everyone your brain is addled by heavy stimulant addiction. at work i have to write everything important down straight away. also i used to be great at mental arithmetic, like quick and accurate, now i'm shit. i don't think these problems have got worse since i got into recovery and i'm pretty sure i've halted the decline.

is recovery worth it despite my lingering cognitive issues, which given its been over 2 years are probably here to stay? hell fucking yes! my life was so boring at best and despairing at worst when i was using.