Snafu's sobriety journal

[Snafu in the Void]

So first off, this post is mainly just for me. Call it a personal recovery journal. I just don't really expect anyone to read this.

If you want to give support or advice please do!

It's a way for me to keep myself accountable in a sense. Writing it down. Sharing it with the only people I have to talk to about it (all you weird fuckers) might help me stay with it.

I'm going to update this opening post every day until I'm sober for a week. I'm very determined to get there.

My 6 year daily alcohol habit....

Day 1:
- I tried to get librium today but it's not going to happen, if at all, for at least a few days...
-14 hours after my last drink the alcohol withdrawals start really kicking in. I'm at work. Shitty. I didn't sleep last night either.
- mild tremors, feeling hot and cold, eyes are twitching, anxiety
- Because I have no meds or any other drugs to help I chicken out (or maybe playing it safe, I am prone to seizures) and buy 2 tall cans of beer (about 1/8th of what I drink per day).
- 16 hours I'm back home sitting in my room which is literally 85F degrees right now and I'm wearing a hoodie sweatshirt because I'm cold. Sweating my balls off.
- Having some genuine concerns about how bad this is going to get. I've never withdrawn from alcohol without librium or at least some benzos
- I drank both beers and feel better (for now), maybe I can get some sleep
- wondering if Kava or something could help... but kava is not an agonist and works in its own way. Definitely has a reverse-tolerance action and takes several days to get noticeable effects. Nobody sells powdered kava around here, there's just one Kava bar but it's expensive as fuck. Might order some tonight online.
- Other than kratom and CBD, I have no other drugs to help me out. This is going to be rough. Tomorrow is a new day, though.
- Seriously considering AA, but they're only doing weird online meetings... and that's not the AA I know or like. To me it's almost meaningless unless it's in person...
- Going to try to sleep soon. Been awake for about 27 hours now.

Day 2:
- woke up after 5 hours in withdrawal
- went to work but couldn't handle it and left after 4 hours
- picked up some phenibut, took 2g but it's not helping nearly as much as I thought it would
- went for a jog (fuck I'm out of shape)
- my stomach hurts, have diarrhea and I can't eat, and now have a headache
- withdrawal is starting to peak
- I took a fuck load of CBD and 400mg of oxcarbazepine to hopefully stop any seizures
- I drank 1 24oz beer but it didn't do fucking shit
- I gave my car keys to my sister so I won't go buy more booze
- I called into work tomorrow, made up some bullshit about food poisoning
- I honestly don't feel like doing anything but laying in bed
- I feel like confused
- shaking is bad and i've probably sweat 2 gallons of shit out
- Hope tomorrow isn't too bad... the symptoms will probably peak

Day 3:


Day 4:
- 2nd AA meeting
- I picked up some weed, and its helping a little bit, at least letting me eat some real food
- Starting to feel a little better (slightly)
- Went back to work today
- Still feel like shit and don't feel like writing much more
- craving alcohol immensely when driving home from work
- at least I have some weed, smoking myself retarded

 

[Stark]

Never been through alcohol withdrawl, so I have nothing to add, other than being a random internet stranger cheering for you.

 

[wudbutcher]

So first off, this post is mainly just for me. Call it a personal recovery journal. I just don't really expect anyone to read this.

If you want to give support or advice please do!

It's a way for me to keep myself accountable in a sense. Writing it down. Sharing it with the only people I have to talk to about it (all you weird fuckers) might help me stay with it.

I'm going to update this opening post every day until I'm sober for a week. I'm very determined to get there.

My 6 year daily alcohol habit....

Day 1:
- I tried to get librium today but it's not going to happen, if at all, for at least a few days...
-14 hours after my last drink the alcohol withdrawals start really kicking in. I'm at work. Shitty. I didn't sleep last night either.
- mild tremors, feeling hot and cold, eyes are twitching, anxiety
- Because I have no meds or any other drugs to help I chicken out (or maybe playing it safe, I am prone to seizures) and buy 2 tall cans of beer (about 1/8th of what I drink per day).
- 16 hours I'm back home sitting in my room which is literally 85F degrees right now and I'm wearing a hoodie sweatshirt because I'm cold. Sweating my balls off.
- Having some genuine concerns about how bad this is going to get. I've never withdrawn from alcohol without librium or at least some benzos
- I drank both beers and feel better (for now), maybe I can get some sleep
- wondering if Kava or something could help... but kava is not an agonist and works in its own way. Definitely has a reverse-tolerance action and takes several days to get noticeable effects. Nobody sells powdered kava around here, there's just one Kava bar but it's expensive as fuck. Might order some tonight online.
- Other than kratom and CBD, I have no other drugs to help me out. This is going to be rough. Tomorrow is a new day, though.
- Seriously considering AA, but they're only doing weird online meetings... and that's not the AA I know or like. To me it's almost meaningless unless it's in person...
- Going to try to sleep soon. Been awake for about 27 hours now.

Keep in mind bro, you don't like much of ANYTHING right now. Attend a meeting online. I enjoy BL, however, can be a trigger at times.
And JOURNAL. You have the knack for good writing, grab pen and paper and let it rip. Don't read it for a month.
Your feelings, fears, blessings and curses. Get ya some melatonin and benedryl to help with sleep. Tomorrow, only buy 24 oz beer. Goal by Saturday is a night without.

 

[dopamimetic]

wondering if Kava or something could help... but kava is not an agonist and works in its own way. Definitely has a reverse-tolerance action and takes several days to get noticeable effects. Nobody sells powdered kava around here, there's just one Kava bar but it's expensive as fuck. Might order some tonight online.

Kava is a GABA positive allosteric modulator like the benzos, yeah ethanol is an agonist there so bit different but it's the real deal and shouldn't take days for to become effective. Guess maybe you have low quality extract or a low dose and need to overcome the acute tachyphylaxis first.
There are good online shops shipping directly from Vanuatu or whatever island. It's not cheap unfortunately but don't buy the expensive crap that is resold numerous times and maybe even impure.

It's sad that big pharma messed it up and FDA did no better so we are left with benzos and unregulated plant material.

Then we have mulungu which too is a potent herbal GABAergic.

NMDA antagonists can help too with alcohol withdrawal, as do the gabapentinoids or baclofen (the latter had only side effects for me but some swear on it).

OTC diphenhydramine can help with sleep. Or quetiapine, clonidine (anti adrenergics).

Good luck

 

[Snafu in the Void]

Kava is a GABA positive allosteric modulator like the benzos, yeah ethanol is an agonist there so bit different but it's the real deal and shouldn't take days for to become effective. Guess maybe you have low quality extract or a low dose and need to overcome the acute tachyphylaxis first.
There are good online shops shipping directly from Vanuatu or whatever island. It's not cheap unfortunately but don't buy the expensive crap that is resold numerous times and maybe even impure.

It's sad that big pharma messed it up and FDA did no better so we are left with benzos and unregulated plant material.

Then we have mulungu which too is a potent herbal GABAergic.

NMDA antagonists can help too with alcohol withdrawal, as do the gabapentinoids or baclofen (the latter had only side effects for me but some swear on it).

OTC diphenhydramine can help with sleep. Or quetiapine, clonidine (anti adrenergics).

Good luck

Thank you, I'm hanging in there.

I got some kava, it's helping but not really that much. I've never taken huge doses of kava, though.

What's the best way to get full effects from kava? I don't know anything about the strains or different extracts or anything. I'm an expert at kratom strains, though.

I've never heard of mulungu, definitely going to look into it very interested. Surprised I haven't heard of it before.

I've been taking 50mg DPH for sleep, oxcarbazepine, kratom, weed and CBD. I seem to be doing OK, no seizures but 4 days and still have tremors/anxiety/stomach problems/etc.