Ciosrataecz
Greenlighter
- Joined
- May 8, 2013
- Messages
- 23
I've only tripped on shrooms 4-5 times. Most of those being bad trips but there's always something good I get out of it. I bought a baggy off my friend. Most of it was crushed so I didn't think it was much, but boy was I wrong. My purpose for my trip, was to get into this musical groove, to gather inspiration for my music production.
After eating & drinking the shrooms with orange music, I started feeling that euphoria that not even a handful of "mdma" caps would give me. Notice how I put "mdma" in quotations, it's all garbage nowadays. So I start up the producing software, hookup my piano keyboard and start playing in hopes of coming up with a sick melody to place after a drop. Then things felt out of place. I layed down on my couch thinking I could enjoy this euphoria laying down with my eyes closed. Wrong! The come-up was so intense my mind started racing. Anxiety starting kicking in. I've been through this too many times for it to happen again, just think positive! I quickly ran to make some chamomile tea. Calm down you got this under control. Bad trip? What is a bad trip? Non-sense!
I down the tea, take deep breaths. I kept lying to myself, telling myself I had already peaked not to worry it's not going to get any stronger or worse. It had only been 20-35 minutes into to trip. I found myself crying to God in the most honest & humbling prayer of my life. I was reaching that state of mind where you lie there brainless, life is like a video game, a pixel off the screen of a 80's tv in a super Mario game. That was my biggest fear, this state of mind which I had experienced when I did acid for the first time, 4 blotters. I was scared I would stay in that world forever. I was fading in & out. When I'd go back to the normal bad trip I'd walk around in circles trying to prevent from happening again.
Setting! Aha! That's it I'll go outside, where it's -20°C snowmageddon. Holy shit what a mindfuck. The snow in all it's brightness reminded me of saga game all pixelated. I go back inside & I now have a fever. I feel if I just gave up laid there without caring, I'd just die. Shamefully I did. I couldn't handle it anymore & when I did I went back into that trance state world. A pixel in a Nintendo game, this is death, an eternity of nothingness. A fade back to reality, I've gone insane. I'm going to call 911. I see my friends name, can I trust him? What will think of me? I dosed at 7a.m. He'll think I'm mad! I dial "listen bro! This is no joke. I'm having a bad trip I took a lethal dose of shrooms if you don't help me I going to die!" He replies "why you tripping so early?" I reply with "Hayden please come Hayden please, I going to die" he hears the fear in my voice. He's on his way. My dad is a concrete finisher, he can come home anytime in the winter, he can't see me like this. This visuals were so strong I saw something that wasn't even there for fucksakes! For you people that didn't think it was possible, well it fucking happened to me! I saw this ripped arm spraying blood flapping at me! I had to get out of the house. Keep in mind Hayden literally lives on the other corner of the city.
I get outside & accidentally lock the door. I fucked up. Hayden wasn't just going to teleport to me. I'm looking for any true friends that could help me out, that are nearby. Closest one, nick. My beloved pot smoking buddy nick which lives in another community but I had no choice. I'm not wearing proper clothing for this weather & I'm in danger of hurting myself. 3-4 calls and he won't answer! I start walking towards he house. At times I would forget where I was. Cars would look like cop cars but they really weren't. Morphing shape & colour.
He finally calls me back after walking for 10 minutes. I explained the situation & fortunately he knows how severe it is. I can get seriously hurt, I can't think for myself, a public figure, a cop or something can find out. So he leaves his house looking for me. Asking me what I see around me. He's staying on the phone, telling me it's going to be alright. Try not to attract attention, watch where I'm going. After what seemed like an eternity of us trying to find each other, I'm shaking from the cold. I look down at my hands & they look like they are turning blue. I really need to find somewhere warm or I can lose my fingers. I tell nick he needs to hurry. I can hear him huffing & panting. I can't feel like hands, I can't feel my nose. I'm by a Tim hortons. Debating whether I should go in or not. I think I need medical attention. Hurry up nick! I don't want to lose my fingers! "Where are you?" We're trying to find each other. He finally find me. Fuck nick this is really serious, do I need medical attention? He's says they're turning blue. He takes off his jacket wraps it around my hands tells me to keep rubbing them. We start heading to his house. We're walking in 2ft of snow at times. I'm terrified, I don't want to lose any body part! I'm starting to lose feeling in a lot of odd parts of my body. Hypothermia symptoms? Nick I have to run I need heat! I felt like my lungs were collapsing. Nick hurry please! He finally opens the door, I take off my wet clothes and I wrap myself with blankets. My pain is so immense. Hayden calls (he doesn't know nick) I tell nick to answer the phone & give him the address. After a while he find the place. It's funny because as a result of this unusual experience my two friends are forced to meet each other & cater to me in this crisis. They calm me down & decide we're all just going to chill for a while.
This is where the positive effects come in. A deep profound self examination. My flaws, weaknesses, my strengths, my faults, all come to light in my head. I came up with this "traffic circle theory" I come in with this desire to express myself to people, to make an impression, make friends, I come into traffic, trying to make it to the exit which is the person or goal, & the traffic just totally fucks me up & I miss my exit my intended goal. This traffic is my insecurities, my fear of failing. I also care way too fucking much about what people think. In my mind I realize I'm self conceited, I'm a selfish jerk, I don't care about other things. But in reality no one else see's that. Because I don't manage to get out of that traffic circle through the exit I was intended to. Despite the hell I went through in this trip I learnt so fucking much about myself in a span of 20-30 minutes then I did my whole life. I should care more myself, stop limiting myself. It has brought my spirit up so much my eyes are getting watery as I type this. I'm a genius in my own way. I am a creative musician. & couldn't let these all through because of this "traffic circle" my friend if you're reading this, maybe it's not a coincidence. If you've been feeling unsure about yourself, if you've felt depressed, don't ignore it! & don't look for a temporary fix. Find out what is causing these personal issues. Better yourself, take off that leash of fear & be the real you, the one that's been hiding inside. I happened to find this out through shrooms. I did have to go through hell first. But ask me if it was worth it...fuck yeah!
After eating & drinking the shrooms with orange music, I started feeling that euphoria that not even a handful of "mdma" caps would give me. Notice how I put "mdma" in quotations, it's all garbage nowadays. So I start up the producing software, hookup my piano keyboard and start playing in hopes of coming up with a sick melody to place after a drop. Then things felt out of place. I layed down on my couch thinking I could enjoy this euphoria laying down with my eyes closed. Wrong! The come-up was so intense my mind started racing. Anxiety starting kicking in. I've been through this too many times for it to happen again, just think positive! I quickly ran to make some chamomile tea. Calm down you got this under control. Bad trip? What is a bad trip? Non-sense!
I down the tea, take deep breaths. I kept lying to myself, telling myself I had already peaked not to worry it's not going to get any stronger or worse. It had only been 20-35 minutes into to trip. I found myself crying to God in the most honest & humbling prayer of my life. I was reaching that state of mind where you lie there brainless, life is like a video game, a pixel off the screen of a 80's tv in a super Mario game. That was my biggest fear, this state of mind which I had experienced when I did acid for the first time, 4 blotters. I was scared I would stay in that world forever. I was fading in & out. When I'd go back to the normal bad trip I'd walk around in circles trying to prevent from happening again.
Setting! Aha! That's it I'll go outside, where it's -20°C snowmageddon. Holy shit what a mindfuck. The snow in all it's brightness reminded me of saga game all pixelated. I go back inside & I now have a fever. I feel if I just gave up laid there without caring, I'd just die. Shamefully I did. I couldn't handle it anymore & when I did I went back into that trance state world. A pixel in a Nintendo game, this is death, an eternity of nothingness. A fade back to reality, I've gone insane. I'm going to call 911. I see my friends name, can I trust him? What will think of me? I dosed at 7a.m. He'll think I'm mad! I dial "listen bro! This is no joke. I'm having a bad trip I took a lethal dose of shrooms if you don't help me I going to die!" He replies "why you tripping so early?" I reply with "Hayden please come Hayden please, I going to die" he hears the fear in my voice. He's on his way. My dad is a concrete finisher, he can come home anytime in the winter, he can't see me like this. This visuals were so strong I saw something that wasn't even there for fucksakes! For you people that didn't think it was possible, well it fucking happened to me! I saw this ripped arm spraying blood flapping at me! I had to get out of the house. Keep in mind Hayden literally lives on the other corner of the city.
I get outside & accidentally lock the door. I fucked up. Hayden wasn't just going to teleport to me. I'm looking for any true friends that could help me out, that are nearby. Closest one, nick. My beloved pot smoking buddy nick which lives in another community but I had no choice. I'm not wearing proper clothing for this weather & I'm in danger of hurting myself. 3-4 calls and he won't answer! I start walking towards he house. At times I would forget where I was. Cars would look like cop cars but they really weren't. Morphing shape & colour.
He finally calls me back after walking for 10 minutes. I explained the situation & fortunately he knows how severe it is. I can get seriously hurt, I can't think for myself, a public figure, a cop or something can find out. So he leaves his house looking for me. Asking me what I see around me. He's staying on the phone, telling me it's going to be alright. Try not to attract attention, watch where I'm going. After what seemed like an eternity of us trying to find each other, I'm shaking from the cold. I look down at my hands & they look like they are turning blue. I really need to find somewhere warm or I can lose my fingers. I tell nick he needs to hurry. I can hear him huffing & panting. I can't feel like hands, I can't feel my nose. I'm by a Tim hortons. Debating whether I should go in or not. I think I need medical attention. Hurry up nick! I don't want to lose my fingers! "Where are you?" We're trying to find each other. He finally find me. Fuck nick this is really serious, do I need medical attention? He's says they're turning blue. He takes off his jacket wraps it around my hands tells me to keep rubbing them. We start heading to his house. We're walking in 2ft of snow at times. I'm terrified, I don't want to lose any body part! I'm starting to lose feeling in a lot of odd parts of my body. Hypothermia symptoms? Nick I have to run I need heat! I felt like my lungs were collapsing. Nick hurry please! He finally opens the door, I take off my wet clothes and I wrap myself with blankets. My pain is so immense. Hayden calls (he doesn't know nick) I tell nick to answer the phone & give him the address. After a while he find the place. It's funny because as a result of this unusual experience my two friends are forced to meet each other & cater to me in this crisis. They calm me down & decide we're all just going to chill for a while.
This is where the positive effects come in. A deep profound self examination. My flaws, weaknesses, my strengths, my faults, all come to light in my head. I came up with this "traffic circle theory" I come in with this desire to express myself to people, to make an impression, make friends, I come into traffic, trying to make it to the exit which is the person or goal, & the traffic just totally fucks me up & I miss my exit my intended goal. This traffic is my insecurities, my fear of failing. I also care way too fucking much about what people think. In my mind I realize I'm self conceited, I'm a selfish jerk, I don't care about other things. But in reality no one else see's that. Because I don't manage to get out of that traffic circle through the exit I was intended to. Despite the hell I went through in this trip I learnt so fucking much about myself in a span of 20-30 minutes then I did my whole life. I should care more myself, stop limiting myself. It has brought my spirit up so much my eyes are getting watery as I type this. I'm a genius in my own way. I am a creative musician. & couldn't let these all through because of this "traffic circle" my friend if you're reading this, maybe it's not a coincidence. If you've been feeling unsure about yourself, if you've felt depressed, don't ignore it! & don't look for a temporary fix. Find out what is causing these personal issues. Better yourself, take off that leash of fear & be the real you, the one that's been hiding inside. I happened to find this out through shrooms. I did have to go through hell first. But ask me if it was worth it...fuck yeah!
Last edited: