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Shrooms changed my perspective on life

B

Broly

Greenlighter
Joined
Aug 30, 2014
Messages
48
Ive had 3 shroom trips and each one changed me in a better way , excpet the last one that was a horror trip. It left me with some positives about life like taking care of my body and thinking about things objectivey and focusing on my grades. Aside from changing my personality for the better , before I did shrooms I was an annoying as person I admit , after shrooms I am real chill and mellow now and I seem to understand things a lot better and more clear then before. For example learning knew things , or focusing on school assignments.

The problem is my last trip was a pure anxiety panic attack which brought out derealization during the trip and 24/7 derealization after dabbing weeks after the trip. The derealization left me with an anxiety problem and feelings of questioning life and existence , it made me more philisophical and showed me how simple life is and how you can go through the motions without stopping to think about what your doing. But thats the negative part it showed me how hard life is and I just feel like we work so hard and we just die not knowing wtf happens to us , I understand that our memories and experiences is what makes life worthwhile but idk its just a scary thought. I also had to quit weed which I really loved because of my parents and derealization and at times life is boring , I am almost 3 months sober and I want to smoke so bad but I know I cant... What makes it even worse is everyone at my school smokes and dabs its literally so fucking tempting and makes me kind of sad that they are able to and I cant , it makes me feel inferior that they can enjoy it while I can't. I dont enjoy things as much I did before that bad shroom trip , like games I previously loved I dont like as much , and activities I liked I dont like as much either... The only thing that hasn't changed is my love for music and bass.

I really appreciate what shrooms have taught me , but at the same time it really changed and altered my perspective on life in a positive way but also a negative one , it made me be myself more and be free around others but sucked previous interests away from me. I personally feel that shroom tripped ruined weed for me...

My derealization makes everything look 2d , like I am looking at a flat painting through my eyes , or the world is a piece of paper that can be ripped in half at anytime , I feel sometimes like my mind and body are kind of separate its weird as fuck I tell you lol I can still feel pain , and move my limbs voluntarily and I fele like my arm is my arm is just feels like it isnt sometimes. Also when I look in the mirror I dont recognize myself , I feel like I changed so much its weird af , the only thing that keeps me in check is my memories and my rationality , I basically say "This is how you would look without drug use" "Your perception is merely changed , but you're the same individual you were before drug use"

Thoughts and opinions?
 
It's great that you have this new outlook (I can relate), but please get your feet on the ground for a while. It's something people have told me in the past but it took me a long while to manage. Laying off the weed / dabs for a while will help a LOT with that by the way. Developing your identity and new integration of your self in your world view will probably take a long time to unfold, but go easy on it... you can't force philosophical breakthroughs or anything like that, just returning to the basics and connecting with your own life is a much better basis for clarity of mind.

After trips you always integrate them, don't rush it. When you have given it some time it's usually fine to repeat and go tripping / getting very high again... learn to find the balance.
 
good for you!! the doors of perception have opened.....now you have a "foot up"on most folks....

good stuff...integrate it and learn from it.....life will be sweeter for this, just let it mature....meditation would be very good for you right now
 
Have you dealt with dr/dp and how long do you think it would take , its been 6 months since that trip and 3 months off the herb.
 
Broly said:
Have you dealt with dr/dp and how long do you think it would take , its been 6 months since that trip and 3 months off the herb.
Click to expand...

Depending on how old you are, how set in your ways, life experience....a lot of variables.

I've had this on occasion, perhaps for periods of 1-2 weeks tops. But it does recur, at least for me. Perhaps once every two months. Maybe a day at a time or so.Though it has gotten less severe the more time passes by. And no question it was related to an extensive use/abuse of mushrooms. I've had flashbacks without dp/dr, but when I have dp/dr it usually involves a flashback.

It does get better Broly, but slowly.

Tom
 
Broly said:
Ive had 3 shroom trips and each one changed me in a better way , excpet the last one that was a horror trip. It left me with some positives about life like taking care of my body and thinking about things objectivey and focusing on my grades. Aside from changing my personality for the better , before I did shrooms I was an annoying as person I admit , after shrooms I am real chill and mellow now and I seem to understand things a lot better and more clear then before. For example learning knew things , or focusing on school assignments.

The problem is my last trip was a pure anxiety panic attack which brought out derealization during the trip and 24/7 derealization after dabbing weeks after the trip. The derealization left me with an anxiety problem and feelings of questioning life and existence , it made me more philisophical and showed me how simple life is and how you can go through the motions without stopping to think about what your doing. But thats the negative part it showed me how hard life is and I just feel like we work so hard and we just die not knowing wtf happens to us , I understand that our memories and experiences is what makes life worthwhile but idk its just a scary thought. I also had to quit weed which I really loved because of my parents and derealization and at times life is boring , I am almost 3 months sober and I want to smoke so bad but I know I cant... What makes it even worse is everyone at my school smokes and dabs its literally so fucking tempting and makes me kind of sad that they are able to and I cant , it makes me feel inferior that they can enjoy it while I can't. I dont enjoy things as much I did before that bad shroom trip , like games I previously loved I dont like as much , and activities I liked I dont like as much either... The only thing that hasn't changed is my love for music and bass.

I really appreciate what shrooms have taught me , but at the same time it really changed and altered my perspective on life in a positive way but also a negative one , it made me be myself more and be free around others but sucked previous interests away from me. I personally feel that shroom tripped ruined weed for me...

My derealization makes everything look 2d , like I am looking at a flat painting through my eyes , or the world is a piece of paper that can be ripped in half at anytime , I feel sometimes like my mind and body are kind of separate its weird as fuck I tell you lol I can still feel pain , and move my limbs voluntarily and I fele like my arm is my arm is just feels like it isnt sometimes. Also when I look in the mirror I dont recognize myself , I feel like I changed so much its weird af , the only thing that keeps me in check is my memories and my rationality , I basically say "This is how you would look without drug use" "Your perception is merely changed , but you're the same individual you were before drug use"

Thoughts and opinions?
Click to expand...

This is all just a guess, but I think you reached the point where you have been exposed to the bigger picture in life. After that, normal everyday things just don't look and feel the same.

It will feel good to quit though. I've quit everything before (mdma, weed, lsd, meth, speed, etc) and I have to say the sober life felt like a brand new experience again. It was very refreshing and it helps to gain back your productivity, if only because there's nothing else to do. But back then, I used substances too often, so that's probably why it had such a dramatic effect on me. But for sure, getting clean will rejuvenate your body and soul, and pretty much you'd have to rediscover your lifestyle again. Gotta look at the bright side, man. If you look at it that way, then we are all missing out because we can't keep up substance use forever.

Btw, you can always jump back in later on in life when you're ready. I'm guessing you're in your early 20's, so you have a lot to look forward to. We all do actually, no matter how old we are.
 
ive had the same life changing experience but i still use drugs. maybe i should try being sober like you because ive been going too deep into the rabbit hole searching for full clarity and understanding but with out being sober it will never become truly clear.
 
I find that sometimes, it's good to kick back and be sober for a while. Being buzzed or tripping all the time makes real life seem too fake sometimes. It's good to be sober to try to understand the altered state you were in and it'll organize itself or something. Life's just weird. It's best to not try to understand the nonunderstandable, and find something else to look at. When you step too close to the experience, it's not clear. It's best to stay true to ourselves and not get too caught up in the "red pill rabbit hole thing". The "blue pill" mentality isn't very good either. Don't take the red pill or the blue pill. Take the purple pill! Maybe it's the great paradox of duality and life or something.
 
Maybe I missed something in your post but why exactly can't you smoke?

I've done shrooms about 10 times and 3 of those I experienced the ego death. Something I once considered a "bad trip" but now I look at it as more of a mental marathon. The next day I may deal with some lethargicness and feel emotionally exhausted, but it never lasts more than a week then everything is back to "normal."

I will say my drinking can get out of hand and it does feel good to be sober a few days. Then I sleep better which in turn makes most everything else more manageable.
 
Terence Mckenna described life/death through psychedelics, and what i get from it is that we are all one, we are a representation of our consiousness, there is no beggining or end, no time, no matter, we are infinite in the realm of the universe, we are GOD. We fear a lot of things because we are used to our ego and to feel like we own stuff, people, life, but the nature of life is not owning, not even our life, thats why we die, and we shall not fear death, but embrace our life shattering our egos.

That right there just makes me feel like i want to die right now then, because i live in a world full of people that hurt each other all the time, and we just have to ignore everything that bugs us, and most things are out of our control, and i just feel like i suffer most of the time, and cant get myself up.

Death seems like is life!
 
My advice to Op would be to let time heal whatever feeling is bugging you right now, as you seem to enjoy school and find meaning in life, but are now facing new questions about reality after a trip, ive read that there are no bad trips, just your ego not letting go for you to enjoy the experience. They say when this happens you have to consciously let go of your ego, for the trip to take you to better places, to enlightment.
 
Sounds like you are experiencing some dissociation of body and mind.

A good practice to anchor again is get into a quiet place, calm your mind with prayer. After a bit, open your eyes. Then SAY OUT LOUD five things you can see in the room, five things you can hear, five things you feel, etc.

You are telling your mind to connect back to your body.

Also, talking about it with people who love you, lots of hugs, and staying busy with school or work.... Too much video games/tv/zoning out can dissociate you again.

Good luck!
 
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