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Should I get a vasectomy?

cowardescent

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 29, 2017
Messages
401
I'm 22 and found out I'll be entering college next year so I'll probably have access to many opportunities to date. I really don't want children and would even consider myself an antinatalist.

People I talk to, mainly family members and my therapist think I'm too young but is that a fair point? In every other scenario, society would not ask you to reconsider any decisions you make at 22. Whether it's buying a house or getting married. Hell, we even have no problem with kids at 17/18 making the decision with what to do with the rest of their lives even if they end up wasting thousands on a college degree that is worthless.

I doubt anyone would even question you having kids at 22 and say "you're too young", yet sterilization is something people believe an adult is incapable of making for themselves.
 
It's a fairly invasive surgery. Personally I don't think that most 22 year olds have nearly as much of a clue about life as they think they do. At least, I certainly didn't. Actually I'd say that's true of people of almost any age... although it probably gets progressively less true the older you get, before starting to become somewhat true again in old age, if in a different way, as your brain ossifies and you become less able to conceive of new ideas or ways of looking at the world.

However buying a house, getting a degree, or getting married is quite different to invasive and semi-permanent body modification. For a start even if neither of the first 3 things work out as planned you'll still gain valuable life experience from them, whereas it's hard to see what life experience you will gain from having had a vasectomy early if you later change your mind. That said, most of the time I think prior to getting a vasectomy you'll be advised to provide a sperm sample in case you do change your mind about having kids.

I would personally say that 22 is too young for the majority of people to have kids, although I know that many people do, although many times also it's not a calculated decision. There are other ways to avoid having children without surgical sterilisation though, and surgical sterilisation doesn't mean you'll never need to worry about using a condom if you plan to sleep around as much as possible because you still need to worry about STDs.

Population levels are rising and there probably are enough people in the world on the whole, although I don't subscribe to antinatalist philosophy exactly I'd be the last person to advise anyone to have kids who didn't want to, I don't have any and don't really understand them even though obviously I was one once.

I dunno, I guess if you're really set on it, go for it, despite what I said about 22 being a little young to have much of a clue about life in many ways, you are still an adult of course and you are free to make your own decisions and your own mistakes, if that's what it turns out to be, although hopefully it won't. I don't have particularly strong feelings either way about having children right now but I think even if I was dead set against it, I wouldn't get a vasectomy so young just because of an aversion to getting invasive elective surgery on my balls.

The more I think about it though the more I think good for you, if you think you understand the risks. However, personally I think antinatalism as a philosophy is a little nonsensical and basically a philosophical manifestation of depressive mental illness, unless you think life itself is inherently a bad thing I don't see that it makes sense to say that procreation is morally wrong. That said, it's easy to make the argument that human population may be growing unsustainably so the decision not to procreate can be a morally positive decision.

So I would say the wisdom of your decision depends somewhat on what flavour of antinatalism you subscribe to, with the more misanthropic varieties being more likely to be temporary beliefs and thus an indication that you might want to reconsider. But, it's your life and your sperm tubules.
 
It's plain simple. You still need to wear a condom. You will not have kids, after the surgery you will have 1 not tough, but hard week. Someone gotta stick to help you around -- you can't lift -- basically you can't do anything. For 1 week, mainly it's 4 days but most say 1 it's the best to go. You gonna be a couch potato for 1 week and then you will be able to go with your daily life. Now, some countries have restriction and most doctor will deny young patients but you need to make your way around. It's possible but be careful about temporary thoughts.
 
As others have said, havinf a vasoectomy isn't a free pass to not use condoms for casual sex, be0cause of STDs. Now if you have a girlfriend and you guys know you don't have STDs, it doesn't mean unprotected sex won't result in a pregnancy. Of course there are other, less permanent ways of doing that, too. Personally I think at 22, you can't possibly know how you will feel the rest of your life.

I've thought about getting one (I am 37, and I don't have any kids), because my girlfriend doesn't want kids and I'm not sure if I want kids, and I have seen hormonal birth control fuck women up bad, and my girlfriend doesn't want to do that and I don't want her to either. She tracks her cycles and we use condoms for the part of the month she is likely to get pregnant, and for part of the month it's very unlikely so we don't worry about it. However, given that more and more of my friends, and my brother, are all having kids, and I'm seeing how amazing it is for them, and what little lights they're bringing into the world, I am not at all sure I don't want to have kids. In fact I am leaning towards wanting to have a child at some point. As much as I would fear bringing a child into this world, I think to my own life. I'm thankful for being given it, despite the world's problems. And you know the people who will do the worst job raising good people will keep having kids. So if everyone who would raise good humans goes antinatalist, then we're truly screwed.
 
wait for the coronavirus vaccine, the first batch will probably come with a side effect of sterility
 
I've thought for awhile now there are some people on this site that should really think about having kids, drug use notwithstanding. I don't think people truly understand how people around them perceive them be far more capable than their own self image allows for.
 
I've thought for awhile now there are some people on this site that should really think about having kids, drug use notwithstanding. I don't think people truly understand how people around them perceive them be far more capable than their own self image allows for.
The best part of this site is that we are all so transparently flawed and respect and care for one another regardless. That said, you are right there are people who are probably unfit to parent whether on drugs or not. I would count myself in that group but I didn’t know until after I actually had a couple...

Sensitive point though, many members involuntarily estranged from their kids thanks to actions of the State.
 
Understood. I meant having drug addiction and drug abuse or psychiatric issues doesn't disqualify you from from having kids. It can be done with lots of support and some honesty. There all sorts of people with handicaps and disabilities who have kids. I'm sorry that people have suffered loss of their kids to the state. I grew up with an alcoholic parent, not as bad as most, but yeah, the suffering of innocent children hurts us all deep.
 
I doubt anyone would even question you having kids at 22 and say "you're too young", yet sterilization is something people believe an adult is incapable of making for themselves.

I would say it comes down to this simple concept: you want to change something that will prevent you from doing what all species need to do to exist - reproduce. No matter how civilized of a society we live in, we are still just mammals, and it's one of the most critical functions we do - so it's no surprise you would meet resistance to want to permanently prevent yourself from doing so, especially at your age. I tend to agree with them, that is such a permanent change at such a young age, I had absolutely no idea where I would be at 30 when I was 22. My advice, wait it out a little longer, you may some day change your mind.

It also makes complete sense people would be accepting of 22 year olds having children, as that's exactly the whole goal of life. This is somewhat of a different dynamic for human beings in our society, but the survival instincts will always be engraved in us.
 
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As much as I would fear bringing a child into this world, I think to my own life. I'm thankful for being given it, despite the world's problems.
This is a profound perspective. Seems obvious when you think about it but never heard it phrased quite that way before...

For sure... life is a gift, and having children is giving someone the gift of life... of course it's possible to somewhat nullify the value of that gift depending on one's aptitude as a parent, and for some people it's more like a curse, for sure... but if we are to be at all optimistic about the future of humankind then it makes sense to believe that even though life is a gift that is not without risk - it is still a gift more often than not, and every life has the potential to be something transcendent and beautiful, and add another few words to the ongoing majesty of the human story, as by living our lives, we etch our collective tale into the pages of eternity.
 
as others have said, stop being ridiculous and just use a fucking condom...
 
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