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Sex never happens long term relatioship what should I do?

Z

zipzip03

Greenlighter
Joined
Jan 7, 2015
Messages
1
Okay, I'm 18 yrs old been dating my current gf for 1.5 years. For the first 10 months our sex life was amazing. Sex at least every single day, sometimes more. She was really into it, always looking up stuff we could do together. She would initiate sex half the time and life was sunshine and daisies. Then we went on a trip out of the country together in high school and weren't really allowed to do anything because it was a school trip and if we got caught we'd be expelled and all that good stuff. So we agreed to just put it off for the 10 days until we got back. As soon as we got back from the trip at my house we instantly had sex in my bathroom because we figured my parents wouldn't walk in on us there (yes its almost happened before). Once again we both got off and life was great. Then all of a sudden everything changed. For the next month we had sex like once a week. I didn't complain at first and just let it be figuring everything would work itself out. After a month of any kind of intimacy just dying I brought it up to her. I was instantly met with the, "all you care about is sex" speech and we got into a large argument. I let it go for another few days without saying anything more about it. Along with the ending of sex, she no longer craved to do anything even remotely sexual with me. It got to the point where holding my hand was a large ordeal. Months before we had planned a trip alone to a hotel a couple hours away from home which was supposed to be our "special night". To my surprise she was still on board to go stay in a hotel with me for a night. Me being naiive at the time I thought that she had changed and turned a new leaf, but we got halfway there and she broke down in tears telling me she just couldn't do it. Me being the loving and oh so understanding boyfriend that I am to her, I gave her a hug and turned the car around. She went home and I didn't hear from her until late that night. A few days after this incident she told me she didn't love me anymore and she needed some time. She drove home from my house and instantly regretted ever saying that to me and I decided to forgive her and take her back. Throughout these couple months of rare rare intimacy she never gave me a straight answer for why she doesn't want to have sex with me. Later that summer we got into an argument after a summer college class we had taken together and she broke up with me for real. That lasted all of 2 hours as she changed her mind and I gave her another chance. Don't really know if I'm insane or just love this girl too much. She tells me then after she breaks up with me and we're talking that she doesn't like sex anymore. She said that she gets this deep, deep feeling of sadness and regret right after we have sex or she orgasms through oral sex. She had never told me this before, but it now makes sense why everything stopped. That doesn't solve the problem of no sex though unfortunately. We have done extensive research on this issue and tried so many things, but nothing works. In the past she would keep all of her depression after sex bottled up until she's away from me, but now after sex it's complete waterworks from her for a solid 5-10 minutes. Uncontrollable crying and it hurts me so bad to see her cry like that, that I don't even initiate sex anymore. She seems to want it once or twice a month and she regrets it right after. Over Thanksgiving break this past fall I broke up with her because she wanted me to move into her parents house and wouldn't take no for an answer. Plus she just hadn't been trying that hard at our relationship for the past month and I was tired of being yelled at for no reason other than she wants to yell. I felt terrible the whole next day and agreed to a meeting with her where I took her back, again. She promised things would be different and she would see a therapist and get things figured out. That still hasn't happened She house sat for a friend of hers and we had the whole house to ourselves for 4 weeks over Christmas break from college. 2, 18 yearolds had sex once in those 4 weeks. I love her to death but I am a guy that likes sex (every guy) and this is eating me up inside. I haven't lost my cool yet and I'm hoping that she can figure out what the issue is, but I don't know if that will ever happen. We lost our virginity to each other and we both love each other dearly, but just not sexually compatible anymore. I don't know what to do in this relationship and I'm grasping at straws. Don't know how much more time I can give her before I just have to move on because these are the best years of my life and I don't want them to be wasted by being frustrated all the time. I would never ever consider cheating. We have an apt rented to live in next year for school but that is easily changed. I don't know what to do in this relationship and I'm grasping at straws at this point. I feel like if I never initiate sex again we would have sex 3 times a year. BTW I'm easily an 8 and she's a 6 at best but I love her and have been completely above that the whole relationship (always tell her she's beautiful and I love her because in my eyes she's the most beautiful girl in the world). Really struggling here, any advice would be greatly appreciated, sorry for the length, but this helps to get all this off my chest too. Thanks much.
 
Dude, edit this wall of the text with paragraphs or nobody is gonna read it. This shit is impossible to read without getting lost in the void of text.
 
If it is that complicated maybe find someone else.

Also seriously no one will read your posts if you do not format them better.

What you just posted is called a wall of text.

I skimmed a bit. If she has all these hang uoa about sex you might just want to leave her. You are 18 anyways and its not like you have kids with her.

So I doubt she is the one for you. Life is a series of relationships IMO and you learn and grow from each one.

It's not fun to cling on to a dying relationship. So I really suggest an ultimatum if you really want her but I would just move on.
 
dopemaster said:
If it is that complicated maybe find someone else.

Also seriously no one will read your posts if you do not format them better.

What you just posted is called a wall of text.

I skimmed a bit. If she has all these hang uoa about sex you might just want to leave her. You are 18 anyways and its not like you have kids with her.

So I doubt she is the one for you. Life is a series of relationships IMO and you learn and grow from each one.

It's not fun to cling on to a dying relationship. So I really suggest an ultimatum if you really want her but I would just move on.
Click to expand...

Pretty much on point. It sounds like it's really not worth it man. You're only 18, move on. She has some very deeply seeded issues that she's got bottled up and it's not your job to fish them out and solve them for her.
 
Wow what an eyesore of text, couldn't get more than a third of the way through. But from what I did read, sounds like a lost cause, give her up.
 
Long term relationships and sex can be tricky. if your both working and partying and doing yoga or jogging it can be hard to fit in frequently. How many times do u have sex a week?
It's always going to die down a bit occasionally
 
I don't think Mr. 1 post is reading this.

I politely told him to dump the bitch.

That's it. End of story.
 
you guys are too young to know what this means but yell "NEXT!" walk away and never talk to her again.
 
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