cosmic_canary
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Aug 17, 2020
- Messages
- 7
First time poster, long time lurker. Really would appreciate some help here discerning if I could be experiencing opioid withdrawal. I feel like an idiot asking this, but I am honestly at a loss & I need help.
I developed pretty terrible chronic pain a few years back from various health conditions, and periodically would receive limited prescriptions to hydrocodone, oxycodone, tramadol.
Anyway! I played it pretty safe for years. Using them only from time to time with lengthy gaps inbetween and never developing a dependency or raising my tolerance.
That is, until I had surgery again a month ago in mid-July. For some bizarre reason my surgeon insisted it was better to supply me with hydromorphone and tramadol as a combo instead of the oxycodone I am accustomed to post-surgery (this was my 4th surgery since 2015).
For almost every single day for a month straight with only a few days off, I took something. For the first 5-6 days it was around the clock - mostly the Dilaudid (2-4 mgs by mouth, so not a big dose). The following week it was mostly oxy and I was taking 10-15 mg only 1x a day at night.
In the couple weeks that followed it was a mix - sometimes oxy, sometimes the trams, and then finally…I am sad to say, I became concerned with running out of both of those (which I enjoy far more) so I decided to use the Dilaudid for awhile (use my least favorite first, I guess). I kept justifying it to myself that I am stuck at home, in pain (my recovery was a maddening weeks-long process of complications) so why not. I’ll quit when I run out, I told myself. Again, I only used them once a day, in the evening. But as I am sure many of you are familiar with - I wanted more “bang” for my buck, and researched the process of snorting them instead of swallowing given their shit bioavailability when taken by mouth.
I never snorted more than 4 mgs. And in fact, only did 2-3 mg for a few days at first. This only went on for about a week and a half - again only 1x a day.
You can infer my tolerance is still relatively low bc I felt pretty damn good a this dose! Not like nodding level, but I could hang out with my partner, put on some Netflix and just feel content and relaxed for a few hours.
Anyway, the last time I did this was last Wednesday night.
By Thursday late afternoon, I was feeling like shit. I can’t believe how potentially naive I was. Let it be known I actually have post-grad training in the chemical dependency realm, and I am no dummy about opioids. It’s how I justified my use over the years - relied too much on my “smarts” to argue my more recreational use was “safe”.
Am I experiencing opioid withdrawal?
Important to note:
I’d love and appreciate some thoughts on if withdrawal can occur based on my usage history and symptoms. While I could find countless descriptions of withdrawal being like a “flu”, I saw none describing it as a “bad cold”. Did I fuck up my sinuses somehow from the snorting? I didn’t do much and it was only for a little over 1 week. However, I’m a total novice at it (with a history of sinus infections and terrible allergies I might add) & I don’t doubt I did it poorly - maybe got shit in my lungs or inhaled too big of particles, I dont know.
Lastly, I am curious - did I ruin my well-maintained tolerance levels? I’ve kept my recreational doses so low & still found them enjoyable. Did I possibly fuck that all up with the Dilaudid (even though I never took more than 4 mg)?
I still have a really limited amount of each type of med. How long do I need to wait before I can take something without re-starting the withdrawal process if that is what this is? I still have intense pain at times and I cannot take NSAIDs due to another health condition.
I will toss the limit I have left if I indeed got myself into a situation where I ruined my tolerance and will put myself into withdrawal again - these past few days have sucked & I am angry I did this to myself, potentially!
I know I just wrote a novel so I apologize!! I just feel so alone on all of this & I am beyond driven to understand what is happening to me. Also, add in the additional COVID anxiety and I just need to talk to someone about this…..
Thank you so much!
I developed pretty terrible chronic pain a few years back from various health conditions, and periodically would receive limited prescriptions to hydrocodone, oxycodone, tramadol.
Anyway! I played it pretty safe for years. Using them only from time to time with lengthy gaps inbetween and never developing a dependency or raising my tolerance.
That is, until I had surgery again a month ago in mid-July. For some bizarre reason my surgeon insisted it was better to supply me with hydromorphone and tramadol as a combo instead of the oxycodone I am accustomed to post-surgery (this was my 4th surgery since 2015).
For almost every single day for a month straight with only a few days off, I took something. For the first 5-6 days it was around the clock - mostly the Dilaudid (2-4 mgs by mouth, so not a big dose). The following week it was mostly oxy and I was taking 10-15 mg only 1x a day at night.
In the couple weeks that followed it was a mix - sometimes oxy, sometimes the trams, and then finally…I am sad to say, I became concerned with running out of both of those (which I enjoy far more) so I decided to use the Dilaudid for awhile (use my least favorite first, I guess). I kept justifying it to myself that I am stuck at home, in pain (my recovery was a maddening weeks-long process of complications) so why not. I’ll quit when I run out, I told myself. Again, I only used them once a day, in the evening. But as I am sure many of you are familiar with - I wanted more “bang” for my buck, and researched the process of snorting them instead of swallowing given their shit bioavailability when taken by mouth.
I never snorted more than 4 mgs. And in fact, only did 2-3 mg for a few days at first. This only went on for about a week and a half - again only 1x a day.
You can infer my tolerance is still relatively low bc I felt pretty damn good a this dose! Not like nodding level, but I could hang out with my partner, put on some Netflix and just feel content and relaxed for a few hours.
Anyway, the last time I did this was last Wednesday night.
By Thursday late afternoon, I was feeling like shit. I can’t believe how potentially naive I was. Let it be known I actually have post-grad training in the chemical dependency realm, and I am no dummy about opioids. It’s how I justified my use over the years - relied too much on my “smarts” to argue my more recreational use was “safe”.
Am I experiencing opioid withdrawal?
Important to note:
- only took opioids 1 x a day in evenings for most days out of a 1 month period
- Never took more than 10-15 mg of Oxycodone
- Never took more than 100-150 mg of Tramadol
- Never took more than 4 mg of Dilaudid
- I never felt shitty in the 24 hour span between doses until last week….
- Crazy runny nose and sneezing
- Horrendous sinus pain, pressure, and congestion
- Killer sinus headache
- General “weird” cognitive feeling - light-headed, slow-witted, spacy, out of it
- Nausea and lack of appetite for first couple of days - as I neared dinner moving towards 48 hour mark, this let up quite a bit
- Abdominal discomfort at times
- Aches only in chest and back - almost like a pulled muscle from sneezing, etc.
- It really felt like a bad cold
- Last night (night 3 without opioids) fucking awful RLS, couldn’t sleep till nearly 5am. (Didn’t have this the first couple of nights)
- Now I am at almost 4 days without meds and my nasal passages are still aching and inflamed, appetite still kinda weird, still kinda in a weird head space, we shall see about the RLS later tonight.
I’d love and appreciate some thoughts on if withdrawal can occur based on my usage history and symptoms. While I could find countless descriptions of withdrawal being like a “flu”, I saw none describing it as a “bad cold”. Did I fuck up my sinuses somehow from the snorting? I didn’t do much and it was only for a little over 1 week. However, I’m a total novice at it (with a history of sinus infections and terrible allergies I might add) & I don’t doubt I did it poorly - maybe got shit in my lungs or inhaled too big of particles, I dont know.
Lastly, I am curious - did I ruin my well-maintained tolerance levels? I’ve kept my recreational doses so low & still found them enjoyable. Did I possibly fuck that all up with the Dilaudid (even though I never took more than 4 mg)?
I still have a really limited amount of each type of med. How long do I need to wait before I can take something without re-starting the withdrawal process if that is what this is? I still have intense pain at times and I cannot take NSAIDs due to another health condition.
I will toss the limit I have left if I indeed got myself into a situation where I ruined my tolerance and will put myself into withdrawal again - these past few days have sucked & I am angry I did this to myself, potentially!
I know I just wrote a novel so I apologize!! I just feel so alone on all of this & I am beyond driven to understand what is happening to me. Also, add in the additional COVID anxiety and I just need to talk to someone about this…..
Thank you so much!
It may not be over with, though. Give it a few days and reassess always. Make adjustments if necessary....
