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rip Flacky, I love you

itsok

itsok

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 9, 2010
Messages
397
Flacky was one of my closest friends. I have been missing him and found out he died. I love you, Flacky.
 
RIP FLACKY - Jack, You will be forever missed.

I am crying my fucking eyes out because my friend who I have only gotten to meet for a day or two when I first got to Los Angeles, has passed away.

I'll only include his first name (prefererd nickname - for privacy *) and some basic info I knew about him; we can post full name/more info later after the family gives consent. I'm only posting this thread because I KNOW people loved Jack, including me, my other BL friend, and many other people who <3'd him.

Jack, I'm so sad right now that you died ODing on heroin without access to naloxone but I FORGIVE YOU. <3

PLEASEE STOP USING HEROIN The rest of you, or GET NALOXONE on hand. Or have someone ready to call 911 if yoU OD.

* I don't want to offend anyone or violate anyone's privacy.
 
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we dont know for sure if it was od. i need to talk to his mom. he was in a rough crowd. it is likely, but id like to not speculate.

i talked to flacky for hours everyday for years since i met him. I tried calling him in rehab and was worried. I wish we could have hung out more. I could spend forever w him
 
itsok said:
we dont know for sure if it was od. i need to talk to his mom. he was in a rough crowd. it is likely, but id like to not speculate.

i talked to flacky for hours everyday for years since i met him. I tried calling him in rehab and was worried. I wish we could have hung out more. I could spend forever w him
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He was lent money around this same time and then "disappeared". The person who lent him the money thinks he was ducking him to avoid paying him back.

In actuality, he died - OD or not, I have reason to believe he OD'd.

EITHER WAY -- I love him the same nonetheless. I just wish he had asked for help. All it takes is a "hey, I am feeling really bad you guys and I need some help, otherwise I think I'm going to relapse." PLEASE reach out and get some help guys. I am not trying to be a hypocrite either - I am trying to follow this advice too.

Much <3 to his family/friends (including me as a long time friend) who will never get to say goodybe.
 
Flacky, there are no words. The world wasn't ready for you mate, you were just too damn smart.

I just wish we had more time. Rest easy my brother I'll never forget you. <3
 
So so so sorry for your loss CH.

you're in my thoughts.
 
Flacky was a great kid who was a pleasure to know. He was deeply thoughtful and introspective with a great sense of humor. A truly unique individual who left a lasting impression on anyone who ever met him. I still laugh thinking about some of the things that came out of his mouth. He had his demons like we all do but I'll always remember him for his humor and his ability to connect with people.

RIP Flack, I miss you.
 
Oh my fuckin god, no....I been thinking of him for months and had no way to get ahold of him, fuck me. I fuckin loved this kid. How many conversations we had over the years, I watched him go from once a week, once a month user who had it on lockdown control for the longest time to just slipping down into it and couldnt do a damn thing to stop him. i tried so many times to tell him not to be so cocky and sure that he had it under control and it happened just like I knew it would and all i could do is be there for the ride. How many times we spent talkin for hours on the phone, hanging out in diners everytime he came to NY. I lost touch with him and wanted so bad to reach him and fucking didnt. And now what. This world is a sick and sad fuckin joke, it really is. Ah, fuck me, i cant even do it right now. I just hate this fuckin world so much. And I hate these fuckin threads where you cant even begin to express....God dammit jack, why<3


Edit....I just read his obituary...This happened last august?!?! August of 2012, and I am just finding this out now??


He was the only bL'er who came to visit me in the hospital when the baby was born. He was there. Flacky had a heart that just breaks mine to think about.


Jack I still have that beautiful scroll you brought me from China and the brush and ink set...I cant tell you how many thousands of times I have stared at that scene next to my bed and thought of you. Its one of my most precious possessions and I cant believe still to this day that I mentioned to you off hand that I always wanted a chinese scroll of a mountain and river scene with boats and you went to fuckin china and brought one exactly as i described back to me.

Hangin out in chinatown with you back when I was pregnant, eating the ham-ba-ga candies and going to the back alley no guai lo establishments with you chatting away to the suprised old lady behind the counter. Haha, that same day remember when we went to that fancy rich chinese banquet place and then realize how expensive it was after we had been seated and drank the tea and acted like we were about to order and we all just jumped up and ran away on three and ditched it?

When we spent the whole night searching for a place that wasnt infested with cops that night after you dropped the bundles on the counter of the white castle in clifton as you pulled out your wallet? and when we finally got to the tick tock right after we walked in what was there but a birthday party of cops right outside the bathroom eating. Haha, what a night that was. we had so many good times...

How cruel this world is, I remember being your 'dope mentor' and begging you not to start IV'ing. I watched you from the very beginning and knew that it could never end well but i never fucking thought it would end like this.

zài jiàn my friend....
 
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This happened last august?!?! August of 2012, and I am just finding this out now??
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This is what was severely depressing to me as well hun.

I kept thinking about it was so depressing that we didn't know for so long. I made sure in the event I'm to have an untimely death that you all would know fairly quickly.
 
RIP Flacky

Met up with him on a number of occasions a few years back, I believe it was as he was preparing to start university. He seemed to be a really bright kid, lots of knowledge and wisdom for such a young person, and I fully expected that he'd end up doing some really interesting, great things with his life. But even at age 17 or 18, he seemed to have an unhealthy relationship (fixation?) with substances. Even though I was in the midst of a serious addiction problem myself, I continuously warned him about the dangers of letting drugs become a regular aspect of one's daily life -- something about which I could speak with authority, based on my years of experience with heroin addiction. He always replied with reassurances about his self-control and self-restraint, which is what you typically hear from someone about to paddle themselves off the edge of the waterfall of addiction. Looking back, I wish I had done more to steer him away from that lifestyle, but I'm sure he would've pursued his headlong rush either way.

I hope his story helps others out there who are going through this struggle.
 
i had no idea, always sadto see a fellow Bler leave far before their time is here. where ever you are, i hope you find eternal happiness and contentment.
 
RIP i didnt personally know him but it sounds like he had a huge influence on a lot of differant people. I hope you guys find peace and that his soul is at rest.
 
Im chiming in late here but I wanted to share an experience i had with flacky. I think he had family in new york, but regardless of why, he was visitin garound here and i dont remember exactly how but we ended up meeting up and chilling. I think through another bl member (also good friend of mine).

Anyway, it just so happened we chilled on new years eve, i remember having bundles of really fire dope and then we bought coke and i ived it for the 1st time. i thikn this was like 2010. THen sometime before he left back to cali we went on a mission to cop in willimasburg together..just the two of us.. at like midnight, got dope then we bought crack then went on what seemed like a harder mission to get a crack pipe. Dude was hella chill.

The kinda dude who could be with anyone anywhere and have a good time.

Sucks that bad things happen to good people.
 
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