i'll try to summarize as much as possible. i've been with my fiance for 4 years. he is essentially an on and off meth user, i haven't touched anything outside of pot and cigarettes. i'll fill you all in on mostly recent events, granted there has been inconsistency in the past and i really need some insight, especially from anyone more familiar with what he uses.
since we met he did lie about his issue. he even covered it up and duped me while we were living together december of last year through june when we had to move out. a friend of his is the reason why he finally decided to open up to me about it, this friend told him it was the right thing to do. at the time, he essentially told me he would try not to use too much or if he didn't need it. granted, there were still times he'd be up on his game all night leaving me to sleep alone, and times he'd take my car and would be out super late. when i'd try to reach him he'd either ignore me or say he couldn't talk since he was at his dealers house etc etc.
...speaking in more recent terms, he's been living with his friend. this person, at first, i thought may be someone to help get him to stop. i try not to be "biased" as my fiance always calls it about meth, but the way he behaves when on it cant help but make me really, really uneasy. when he moved in with his friend, after a while of us living apart he told me he wanted to stop for me. i said that if he weren't stopping for himself that there wouldn't be that possibility. he at one point, a couple weeks ago i think, said he'd been clean for a month. and then more recently he said he was using it as a "tool" to keep him busy with cleaning and other tasks. he also at that point said he'd stopped for a couple weeks. what he says doesnt add up. there was a time he was saying that he was seeing demons, and he's been talking a lot about how his friend has revealed to him that he's actually a saint in a human vessel and just all kinds of odd things... i saw him yesterday. he was explaining all kinds of things this friend has been teaching him, in regards to space time etc. he was getting very overly logical, to the point of not really showing the emotion i'm more so used to... and what stood out to me yesterday was that he was in and out of sleep as we sat in the car and claimed his soul was trying to leave his body. a car passed, and he jumped out frantically and said the person in the car had a camera and was watching him............. i hadnt been paying attention so i wouldnt have known but he was just being off. otherwise he has been more unresponsive in texts. he seems to try to be nice but i cannot get over all the inconsistency, its literally driving me mad and making my anxiety explode
i really need some insight. im extremely confused, i've been at it for 4 years and just dont know if i can handle all the weirdness. i try to be accepting and to understand but its extremely hard when nothing makes any sense. im at a really bad point, where i'm trying to work again and just started college and its been really hard keeping my shit together. i just need some insight about all this. thanks and feel free to ask questions.
since we met he did lie about his issue. he even covered it up and duped me while we were living together december of last year through june when we had to move out. a friend of his is the reason why he finally decided to open up to me about it, this friend told him it was the right thing to do. at the time, he essentially told me he would try not to use too much or if he didn't need it. granted, there were still times he'd be up on his game all night leaving me to sleep alone, and times he'd take my car and would be out super late. when i'd try to reach him he'd either ignore me or say he couldn't talk since he was at his dealers house etc etc.
...speaking in more recent terms, he's been living with his friend. this person, at first, i thought may be someone to help get him to stop. i try not to be "biased" as my fiance always calls it about meth, but the way he behaves when on it cant help but make me really, really uneasy. when he moved in with his friend, after a while of us living apart he told me he wanted to stop for me. i said that if he weren't stopping for himself that there wouldn't be that possibility. he at one point, a couple weeks ago i think, said he'd been clean for a month. and then more recently he said he was using it as a "tool" to keep him busy with cleaning and other tasks. he also at that point said he'd stopped for a couple weeks. what he says doesnt add up. there was a time he was saying that he was seeing demons, and he's been talking a lot about how his friend has revealed to him that he's actually a saint in a human vessel and just all kinds of odd things... i saw him yesterday. he was explaining all kinds of things this friend has been teaching him, in regards to space time etc. he was getting very overly logical, to the point of not really showing the emotion i'm more so used to... and what stood out to me yesterday was that he was in and out of sleep as we sat in the car and claimed his soul was trying to leave his body. a car passed, and he jumped out frantically and said the person in the car had a camera and was watching him............. i hadnt been paying attention so i wouldnt have known but he was just being off. otherwise he has been more unresponsive in texts. he seems to try to be nice but i cannot get over all the inconsistency, its literally driving me mad and making my anxiety explode
i really need some insight. im extremely confused, i've been at it for 4 years and just dont know if i can handle all the weirdness. i try to be accepting and to understand but its extremely hard when nothing makes any sense. im at a really bad point, where i'm trying to work again and just started college and its been really hard keeping my shit together. i just need some insight about all this. thanks and feel free to ask questions.
