Mental Health Re-inventing the Wheel: Schizophrenic or Shaman

[iridescentblack]

This summer I took a trip to a city I used to live in with no expectations.

I woke up one day and knew exactly what I wanted to do. I wanted to go to Bangor.

I suddenly remembered my previous attempt at going up north for this visit and how I almost fell asleep at the wheel, nearly hit a trump supporter on the highway, and had to turn around once I realized I hadn't packed my medication. Fortunately, this time was different. I even packed my toothbrush.

As a matter of fact, I was prepared enough this time that I actually felt secure. But the highlight of my adventure was running into an old pal. He was homeless at the time and was so stoked because he had recently bought a car. We gathered up some scratch tickets and shot the shit; it was awesome! But - though it may be wishful thinking - my favorite part of the journey was knowing in my heart that we had both become shaman prior to running into each other...

I remember seeing him in the square while I was "following a breadcrumb trail", which is basically just a state of mind for me. I ran into him out of the blue and he looked great. I had never seen him in such high spirits. But afterwards I had gotten to thinking so much about my so called spiritual endeavor and I had to take some time to myself to truly explore this fascinating tale called "life".

"Could I really be a shaman?" I've wondered this since the day I found out about the link between schizophrenia and indigenous holy men and women and even Hawaiian natives had transgender shaman. It's important to first ask, "Well, what makes a shaman a shaman?"

To be frank, I don't think anyone knows. It's one of those things, that when you know, you know. When you know your kin is a shaman, she's a shaman. And after some deliberation, I suppose, a schizophrenic is no longer a schizophrenic and goes on to be a shaman. Well how does it work? I honestly just need an audience to consider it with me. When will I ever be a shaman, knowing full well that my life had sunk into ruin the day I had a psychosis so bad that I had pretty much one choice and one choice only: I had to reinvent the wheel and become a shaman on my own.

So I took up spirituality and such, even bought books in order to train myself. During that time I narrowly evaded a logging truck that tried to run me over! It was one of the more iconic moments of my life, because I had to think about it in some way and the only way I could rationalize it was this: "If I am truly, as some suggest 'gone in mind', then why am I able to do the things I do'?" How had I narrowly avoided death? Was it purely survival instinct? Since then I've become proficient in shadow work, plant healing, bonsai art, I've gotten comments from people about how special their dogs reactions to me are compared to anyone else they know!!!, and yet - and I'm sorry for not knowing exactly how to put this, but - when exactly am a shaman... if ever?

What do you think? Like it or not, the truth of the matter is that - since schizophrenia is an atavism - the very first shaman to become a shaman was a schizophrenic at some point. The other sad truth about the matter is understanding himself was key to that inner transformation. Meaning that: being aware of that or those spiritual connections, that spiritual affinity, was essential. I want to read some opinions. What do you think about the concept of reinventing the wheel? To further elaborate and express this; clearly megalithic society is a major upset to this "wishful thinking" of a schizophrenic [without a tutor] becoming a shaman, so what if it were possible through either schizophrenics communing with their own kind (like I did with my friend, years before I ran into him again in a house full of potential shaman) or possibly doing it all by themselves, like most of us are left to do anyway?

 

[JoshLobbs]

I'm not an expert in shamanic stuff but my definition of a shaman would be someone who can delve into the waters of madness and return with pearls of wisdom. That madness can be meditation, drug trips or even sometimes after some psychosis during catharsis you can find facts or different ways of looking at the world.

Although I dont think its healthy to go looking for wisdom during psychotic episodes, I'd compare that to panning for gold nuggets after a bout of diarrhoea, your only going to find gold nuggets if you have swallowed them and most of the yellow you will find is going to be corn and your going to get known as the head case who sifted through his own shit. Better to pan for truth nuggets in mountain streams. (Sorry for the shitty metaphors but I've been watching a lot of prospecting on YouTube.)

Also If you are suffering from schizophrenia I'd also advise that try not to feed your delusions. Seek out sain ppl and try to get healthy.

 

[iridescentblack]

I'm not an expert

Seek out sain ppl and try to get healthy.

Wow. Nice resolution, Ahab

 

[December Flower]

"Well, what makes a shaman a shaman?"

Calling himself a shaman, of course.

The word has its origin in what today is China, and means as much as "intellectual"
Through Siberia the word wandered to the western world to mean as much as a "spiritual specialist"

These "spiritual specialists" mostly used chemistry, or trickery in order to make people believe they had magical powers,
or connections to the Underworld and whatnod.

In Africa, Voodoo mambos take control of entire villages by threatening them with voodoo magics.
It's just what happens when most people are uneducated. Someone will take advantage

The correct wording in modern times is probably "confidence man".

 

[Jerry Atrick]

I dunno, when I think of becoming a shaman, I think of someone who is experiencing a western definition of mental illness going to some old Native American or South American who has experienced the same thing and eating tons of psychedelics like peyote, mescaline, mushrooms, ayahuasca, etc. This would be done in order to have a religious experience or vision, not for recreation. Must be done under his guidance and he would never condone "doing it on your own."

 

[JoshLobbs]

Wow. Nice resolution, Ahab

Deadass don't know if that's an insult or a complement. I've never read Moby dick. (at least I think that's what you are referencing)

 

[iridescentblack]

Calling himself a shaman, of course.

The word has its origin in what today is China, and means as much as "intellectual"
Through Siberia the word wandered to the western world to mean as much as a "spiritual specialist"

These "spiritual specialists" mostly used chemistry, or trickery in order to make people believe they had magical powers,
or connections to the Underworld and whatnod.

In Africa, Voodoo mambos take control of entire villages by threatening them with voodoo magics.
It's just what happens when most people are uneducated. Someone will take advantage

The correct wording in modern times is probably "confidence man".

You seem to be suggesting that they're all charlatans

 

[iridescentblack]

I dunno, when I think of becoming a shaman, I think of someone who is experiencing a western definition of mental illness going to some old Native American or South American who has experienced the same thing and eating tons of psychedelics like peyote, mescaline, mushrooms, ayahuasca, etc. This would be done in order to have a religious experience or vision, not for recreation. Must be done under his guidance and he would never condone "doing it on your own."

not like I had a fucking choice mate, but thanks for your consideration; whatever it was...

Deadass don't know if that's an insult or a complement. I've never read Moby dick. (at least I think that's what you are referencing)

It was not a compliment. And threatening me online is not going to pull apart those issues.

According to what you said, I should hang around with sane people because I post stuff like this, "During that time I narrowly evaded a logging truck that tried to run me over! It was one of the more iconic moments of my life, because I had to think about it in some way and the only way I could rationalize it was this: "If I am truly, as some suggest 'gone in mind', then why am I able to do the things I do'?" How had I narrowly avoided death? Was it purely survival instinct?"

I don't really care how fucking delusional you think I am compared to you, son. Call my extrasensory capabilities a pitfall as much as you want. I am alive for the very reason that I follow my gut instinct.

I know that unfortunately, you will never fully process why I am not complimenting you, you sick fuck. But whenever the context of starts to sit in, I hope you realize what you posted there, ahab.

and how it sounds

 

[RomanJ]

I think schizophrenia and spirituality go hand in hand.
In the past it was the shaman in the community who was the healer for people both spiritually and physically.
Most communities have lost they're connection to spirituality with religion taking over in the past few thousand years.
I think it's the job of people with 'schizophrenia' or people who communicate with the unseen, to bring people's spiritual awareness back.

 

[Crash Override]

I dunno, got a bit lost reading the original post but I can say that that the schizophrenic symptoms that I've experienced haven't been spiritual at all, they've been fucking freaky and shit fucking disturbing.

Religion, spiritual... yes sure. Schizophrenia, no.

Am i allowed to say wtf?

 

[JoshLobbs]

It was not a compliment. And threatening me online is not going to pull apart those issues.

According to what you said, I should hang around with sane people because I post stuff like this, "During that time I narrowly evaded a logging truck that tried to run me over! It was one of the more iconic moments of my life, because I had to think about it in some way and the only way I could rationalize it was this: "If I am truly, as some suggest 'gone in mind', then why am I able to do the things I do'?" How had I narrowly avoided death? Was it purely survival instinct?"

I don't really care how fucking delusional you think I am compared to you, son. Call my extrasensory capabilities a pitfall as much as you want. I am alive for the very reason that I follow my gut instinct.

I know that unfortunately, you will never fully process why I am not complimenting you, you sick fuck. But whenever the context of starts to sit in, I hope you realize what you posted there, ahab.

and how it sounds

ite so you seem pissed off that it didn't seem like I believed that you were psychic or something cause I told you to get help. so I am just going to clarify my first post.

I believe that its dangerous for anyone's mental health to go looking for the wisdoms of the universe/ magic powers while they are menially unwell, this can be in psycosis, schizophrenic episodes, seizures, drug trips, ect. This is not because I don't believe in mysticism but it is because I think that it is dangerous looking while you are in an unstable state. I think that when you are in these states you are more susceptible to... lets just call them demons for arguments sake. Well I think these demons are less likely to fuck with you if you aren't signaling that you want to find some powers and if they menially see that you are putting out enough mental energy then they can manifest. you being unstable and feeding your delusions, aka the demons, is bad for you and others, because they manifest in your brain. it happened to me and I got out mostly unscathed because I didn't feed my delusion and gave it the respect that it needed. My friend, who I believe I connected with telepathically while on a k binge, did not come out unscathed. He had previously taken some bad acid and then fallen into psycosis which ended up developing into schizophrenia.

The reason why i was being vague about what I meant was because I didn't want to infect people with my mind virus.


I wasn't threatening you I was trying to get you to take the blue pill as it seems, cause the red pill sucks.

and how the fuck am I like Ahab? wasn't the point of that book to show the frivolity of chasing something that will be out of your grasp and how Ahab was like an allegory for humanity obsession with the unknown and unknowable, unachieved and unachievable? tbh that seems like the opposite of what I was advising.

 

[Jerry Atrick]

not like I had a fucking choice mate, but thanks for your consideration; whatever it was...

It was not a compliment. And threatening me online is not going to pull apart those issues.

According to what you said, I should hang around with sane people because I post stuff like this, "During that time I narrowly evaded a logging truck that tried to run me over! It was one of the more iconic moments of my life, because I had to think about it in some way and the only way I could rationalize it was this: "If I am truly, as some suggest 'gone in mind', then why am I able to do the things I do'?" How had I narrowly avoided death? Was it purely survival instinct?"

I don't really care how fucking delusional you think I am compared to you, son. Call my extrasensory capabilities a pitfall as much as you want. I am alive for the very reason that I follow my gut instinct.

I know that unfortunately, you will never fully process why I am not complimenting you, you sick fuck. But whenever the context of starts to sit in, I hope you realize what you posted there, ahab.

and how it sounds

@iridescentblack You asked a complicated question and people are taking their time to try to answer your question and help you. I saw nothing threatening posted by JoshLobbs that would warrant such a response from you. We are all fighting our own battles whether you realize it or not. I personally have had the diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder for over 10 years and the journey has not been easy. The next time you feel like you want to flame someone for trying to help you, I suggest you sit back, take a deep breath, and chill for a minute.

 

[Juniper Bruhmomentius]

When I speak of shamans, I mean people DEEP INTO SPIRITUALISM and so on (+ usually schizophrenic)

 

[iridescentblack]

@iridescentblack You asked a complicated question and people are taking their time to try to answer your question and help you. I saw nothing threatening posted by JoshLobbs that would warrant such a response from you. We are all fighting our own battles whether you realize it or not. I personally have had the diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder for over 10 years and the journey has not been easy. The next time you feel like you want to flame someone for trying to help you, I suggest you sit back, take a deep breath, and chill for a minute.

Deadass

How is this not a threat?

 

[JoshLobbs]

How is this not a threat?

do you not know what deadass means?
it just means like honestly.
like deadass, it means honestly.
Urban Dictionary: Deadass

 

[iridescentblack]

do you not know what deadass means?
it just means like honestly.
like deadass, it means honestly.
Urban Dictionary: Deadass

sorry, but no. Nice attempt trying to cover your ass.

not that I should have to clarify, to you, but "no" in that sentence means: I think you're full of shit.

But since we're into breaking down things here: I thought I'd clarify my side: The only sentences that supposedly glorified my - as you call it - psychic ability were about how I narrowly avoided death. You seem to have a pretty firm stance, and that's okay... but I think you should understand that what you're trying to tell me is to ignore my senses altogether and get myself killed. Whenever you realize this, don't post anything. Just say "oh".

 

[0.o_LaCuNa_o.0]

This summer I took a trip to a city I used to live in with no expectations.

I woke up one day and knew exactly what I wanted to do. I wanted to go to Bangor.

I suddenly remembered my previous attempt at going up north for this visit and how I almost fell asleep at the wheel, nearly hit a trump supporter on the highway, and had to turn around once I realized I hadn't packed my medication. Fortunately, this time was different. I even packed my toothbrush.

As a matter of fact, I was prepared enough this time that I actually felt secure. But the highlight of my adventure was running into an old pal. He was homeless at the time and was so stoked because he had recently bought a car. We gathered up some scratch tickets and shot the shit; it was awesome! But - though it may be wishful thinking - my favorite part of the journey was knowing in my heart that we had both become shaman prior to running into each other...

I remember seeing him in the square while I was "following a breadcrumb trail", which is basically just a state of mind for me. I ran into him out of the blue and he looked great. I had never seen him in such high spirits. But afterwards I had gotten to thinking so much about my so called spiritual endeavor and I had to take some time to myself to truly explore this fascinating tale called "life".

"Could I really be a shaman?" I've wondered this since the day I found out about the link between schizophrenia and indigenous holy men and women and even Hawaiian natives had transgender shaman. It's important to first ask, "Well, what makes a shaman a shaman?"

To be frank, I don't think anyone knows. It's one of those things, that when you know, you know. When you know your kin is a shaman, she's a shaman. And after some deliberation, I suppose, a schizophrenic is no longer a schizophrenic and goes on to be a shaman. Well how does it work? I honestly just need an audience to consider it with me. When will I ever be a shaman, knowing full well that my life had sunk into ruin the day I had a psychosis so bad that I had pretty much one choice and one choice only: I had to reinvent the wheel and become a shaman on my own.

So I took up spirituality and such, even bought books in order to train myself. During that time I narrowly evaded a logging truck that tried to run me over! It was one of the more iconic moments of my life, because I had to think about it in some way and the only way I could rationalize it was this: "If I am truly, as some suggest 'gone in mind', then why am I able to do the things I do'?" How had I narrowly avoided death? Was it purely survival instinct? Since then I've become proficient in shadow work, plant healing, bonsai art, I've gotten comments from people about how special their dogs reactions to me are compared to anyone else they know!!!, and yet - and I'm sorry for not knowing exactly how to put this, but - when exactly am a shaman... if ever?

What do you think? Like it or not, the truth of the matter is that - since schizophrenia is an atavism - the very first shaman to become a shaman was a schizophrenic at some point. The other sad truth about the matter is understanding himself was key to that inner transformation. Meaning that: being aware of that or those spiritual connections, that spiritual affinity, was essential. I want to read some opinions. What do you think about the concept of reinventing the wheel? To further elaborate and express this; clearly megalithic society is a major upset to this "wishful thinking" of a schizophrenic [without a tutor] becoming a shaman, so what if it were possible through either schizophrenics communing with their own kind (like I did with my friend, years before I ran into him again in a house full of potential shaman) or possibly doing it all by themselves, like most of us are left to do anyway?

I think that you're running the right course.

It's true that many a shaman are schizophrenics.

It's also true that certain schizophrenics are "gifted" individuals.

These gifts can be wide ranging, a commonality amongst these gifts is that they involve the paranormal and go against traditional western medicine & science.

Most people would find a gifted schizophrenics' "experiences" to be farfetched and simply unbelievable. For your own sake, and for the sake of simplicity I recommend keeping all of your "experiences" to yourself. And if you must share them, only do so in the presence of safe, like-minded individuals that you know would accept your experiences and practices as legitimate & real. The last thing you want is negative energy being pushed upon you by disbelievers - it'll only slow you down and make things messy. Worse yet, it might even downright make your life and your "experiences" dangerous, or even more dangerous for you than what it already is.

K.I.S.S: Keep it Simple Stupid

 

[JoshLobbs]

sorry, but no. Nice attempt trying to cover your ass.

not that I should have to clarify, to you, but "no" in that sentence means: I think you're full of shit.

But since we're into breaking down things here: I thought I'd clarify my side: The only sentences that supposedly glorified my - as you call it - psychic ability were about how I narrowly avoided death. You seem to have a pretty firm stance, and that's okay... but I think you should understand that what you're trying to tell me is to ignore my senses altogether and get myself killed. Whenever you realize this, don't post anything. Just say "oh".

I'm not saying that you should ignore your Spidey Senses altogether, I was saying that going down the path to be a shaman is hard and dangerous and if you try to further shamanic ability's in future, deriving them from mental illness is more dangerous than getting them from drugs or meditation/rituals.

also I wasn't trying to be rude when I said

Deadass don't know if that's an insult or a complement. I've never read Moby dick. (at least I think that's what you are referencing)

What i was trying to say was
"I honestly do not know if that was an insult lol." = I did not mean to offend. let me soften the blow with some light humor and slang to hopefully connect with you so we can sort this out. "lawl XD I didn't read Moby dick" = perhaps the conversation could go this way to a topic where you can laud your intelligence above mine so you feel better and we can get this situation sorted out.

I stand by my words and if I was trying to be rude I wouldn't have apologized or back peddled.

 

[December Flower]

You seem to be suggesting that they're all charlatans

I am