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Clear_Rivers

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I used to take Clonazepam for anxiety but, after filing a complaint with the clinic regarding a substitute doctor's (he will go by "Z") behaviour towards me last year (this doctor said some very inappropriate things - he told me off for coming to the clinic once a month; he saw this in my file but the only reason I would go is to refill the Clonazepam prescription that I had to take Daily - I wasn't even being weaned off it when I was getting it refilled monthly); I pointed out the only reason I came once a month was to have a prescription refilled and, if another issue was happening (such as allergies) I would have that issue dealt with as well; however, the most notable thing he said (that really upset me) was that he said the only reason he helped me before (prescribed Clonazepam when my regular doctor wasn't in) was that he pitied me! If he had just refused to do so and said I had to wait until my regular doctor came back I would have been frustrated but not upset (or afraid to see other doctors that weren't my own doctor - I am afraid that other doctors I might see, even in the emergency room, will be an asshole like "Z").

I finally put in a complaint about "Z" to the owner of the clinic a little while ago. The owner spoke to me when I came to the clinic one day to see my doctor (for a issue not related to Clonazepam). The owner told me off, saying that "Z" would never say the things that I said that he said to me. I pointed out that I wouldn't say these things if they weren't said, what do I have to gain by making up lies about what someone said? The owner then said that they didn't want me in the clinic if I felt that way about "Z" - even though I never called him names, said anything rude about him - I just stated what he said and how it made me feel (upset; I even told the owner I had nightmares about "Z" - apparently Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder from the incident, but I didn't say it gave me Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder). The owner basically kicked me out of the clinic even though I wasn't rude to her nor was my body language "inappropriate".

I found a new doctor; unfortunately the new doctor doesn't prescribe ANY anti-anxiety medication (and this doctor is the only one that was taking new patients) so I'm pretty much going cold turkey now. I am on anti-seizure medication, which has prevented me from having any Grand-Mal Seizures but does nothing for the anxiety.

I'm in Canada so marijuana is now legal. I am taking CBD Oil but it doesn't seem to do anything for me (I don't want to get high but I want to feel relaxed and not stressing out about things).

There are two stores called "Tweed" in two parts of the city I live in. I have tried the Argyle Softgels (since they have a slightly higher CBD Amount - 3.00 mg; but the THC Amount is 2.50 mg per Softgel). Through experimenting, I discovered I have to take seven of the Argyle Softgels - 2.50 mg x 7= 17.5 mg of THC; while 3.00 mg x 7= 21.00 mg of CBD. This dose (7 of the Argyle Softgels) has relieved my anxiety quite a bit; for example, even when I would take Clonazepam (or any other benzodiazepine), if I saw an insect (I am terrified of insects) I would still freak out. When I take the seven Argyle Softgels, I wouldn't freak out and would be a lot calmer (yet the CBD Oil hasn't helped with that). Smoking the cannabis doesn't work since I have respiratory issues. The Softgels have helped immensely - I tried other versions of the Softgels (Bakerstreet, which was the worst one - made me unable to move yet I couldn't sleep either) and Penelope Softgels (which had 2.50 mg of THC but only 1.75 mg of CBD). The Penelope Softgels would work but I would have to take a large amount in order for them to work (I don't remember how many Softgels I had to take for that to relieve the anxiety).

Because the Argyle Softgels (they're an Indica type) worked for anxiety, I'm wondering if they could possibly work for some appointments I have in the next two weeks that are giving me a lot of stress and anxiety. I have taken them a few times in the past as an experiment and they worked; I wouldn't freak out when I saw an insect and I was even able to look up medical things that freak me out, which I would rather not name - strange thing is I could name it publicly online, tell my friends, and look it up when I took the Argyle Softgels - usually if I look it up and don't take anything, or only took the Clonazepam (I used to take 2 mg since lower doses didn't work) I am still reluctant to tell anyone about my phobia, because it's embarrassing - I guess that's because I haven't taken the Argyle Softgels yet today - thinking about waiting until my appointments that I am nervous about and then taking the Argyle Softgels then.

I'm unsure if the Argyle Softgels would work for the appointments that I'm nervous about and, this may be stupid, but given the information I wrote about in this post, do you guys think the Argyle Softgels could work? I haven't taken them for an appointment yet so next week I will probably have to take them for my dental appointment (routine appointment but I'm nervous about it) and another medical appointment with a neurologist the week after, which I'm also nervous about.

Nobody can tell when I take the Argyle Softgels; even when it's a "high dose" and I feel like they could tell because of what I'm feeling yet I'm told when they can tell I took something (the Clonazepam even though my speaking is normal and my eyes aren't dilated). I don't understand that since I'm still nervous; it's not often that the Clonazepam works for me, and now that I can no longer be prescribed anything for anxiety because I am seeing a new doctor at a different clinic I only have the Argyle Softgels to help me.

Anyway, sorry for the long post; my main question is, as listed two paragraphs above, is given the information I wrote about in this post, do you guys think the Argyle Softgels could work?
 
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That is rough treatment from that clinic!
I am not a doctor, but I’d take them if you’re used to them and comfortable. Maybe 1 or two less for the appointments?

I like the liquid drops better, more control in dosage.
The question is: are they working for you now?
During the come-off phase of your forced cold turkey clonazapam quitting, things will feel different as you moved over to cannabis preps.

I guess you can’t get to another clinic, but getting off the benz is prolly the best if you can replace it with cbd!
Good luck and good vibes to you, you’ll make it. ;)
 
Thanks; the softgels helped me with my insect fear (I'm still afraid of them though) so I wouldn't run away while the softgels would be working, I'm just unsure if they will work for the appointments. I tried taking less than what I said (seven softgels) but it didn't work. I guess I'll have to take seven softgels (I tried five softgels in the past and it didn't work).

I can control the dose of the Argyle softgels but, as I said, I have to take seven Argyle softgels for them to work.

The CBD Oil isn't working either. Ironically I am on the wait list to get into the Medical Marijuana clinic (my psychiatrist referred me) because of my anxiety. I was referred last year and had a call recently, stating I would have an appointment with "Z" (apparently he is also a doctor at the marijuana clinic). I had to talk to the receptionist and tell her that I can't see "Z"; I said, to the receptionist, that the reason I can't see "Z" was because of personal conflict (which is kind of true since he personally attacked me - my pharmacist told me this). The receptionist said she would speak to her manager about this and see if it's possible for me to see someone else, but warned I would be moved to the bottom of the waitlist and have a longer wait. I stated that I didn't care; I would rather wait 100 years than see "Z". The receptionist called me the next day and said that they switched me to someone else in the clinic and it will be a longer wait. I thanked the receptionist; I would rather see anyone but "Z".
 
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Clear Rivers, look into VR and the possibility of slowly desensitizing yourself through graduated exposure to insects. That way you control the experience, nudging it further each time, until it feels like little or no anxiety exists.

Hey, and keep posting, we all help each other here and learn from each others’ experiences.
 
Thanks DrumTripper. I am trying this right now, except it's with my medical phobia (I have a fear of everything medical, including "Basic Things". Over the last few days I have been trying to overcome my medical phobia by watching medical things such as going to the doctor. I watched the same show three times (on YouTube). The first time I exited out of the show a few seconds after the theme song had started. The second time I watch the full episode (same episode and show) without freaking out or thinking anything "bad". The third time, yesterday, I managed to watch the medical segment of the video but kept pausing or exiting out of the video - though I did manage to watch it later, except I refused to watch the full video; I just picked up from where I exited out.

I think the only reason I watched the episode the second time without any interruptions was because I was a little "stoned" (I had taken seven Argyle Softgels a while before hand).
 
Anyway, keep working your gentle approach. This can take many sessions of focussed work, without the aid of a drug, to be in control and to be able to finally push past your threshold of fear/anxiety.

This sounds like promising progress, keep going, and be prepared for ups and downs.
The intention you have will see you thru and will ultimately outweigh the grip of the anxiety.

It’s less easy when you lack a constant family doctor who knows you and tracks your visits, etc.
Unfortunately, in this once abundant land, family docs are much harder to find.
 
DrumTripper said:
Anyway, keep working your gentle approach. This can take many sessions of focussed work, without the aid of a drug, to be in control and to be able to finally push past your threshold of fear/anxiety.

This sounds like promising progress, keep going, and be prepared for ups and downs.
The intention you have will see you thru and will ultimately outweigh the grip of the anxiety.

It’s less easy when you lack a constant family doctor who knows you and tracks your visits, etc.
Unfortunately, in this once abundant land, family docs are much harder to find.
Click to expand...

I've dealt with cold turkey before; the worst I had was insomnia during that time. However, this time I'm dealing with an asshole family member who LOVES to Scapegoat me (if I could move out I would but personal reasons prevent me from doing this).

Ironically I started taking Clobazam (my neurologist prescribed it) because of my epilepsy - I got the call from the pharmacy yesterday saying I could pick it up because insurance finally approved it (Clobazam would have cost a lot more if the insurance wouldn't cover it). Clobazam is also supposed to help with anxiety so we'll see. I'm taking the recommended "anxiety-relieving" dose tomorrow for my dental appointment (technically I'm not abusing the drug - I asked my pharmacist about this and my pharmacist said that it can also be taken for anxiety. I hope it works!!!!!
 
Well, we’re pullin’ for ya, in the shadows of the web.
Keep your strength and keep on keepin’ on.
Epilepsy is one I hope we beat very soon!

Isn’t CBD supposed to be the most effective treatment out there, or nearly?
Winder what your neurologist would say if they knew you’re willing to try that route?
Hmmmmm
 
Thanks; I'm telling my neurologist about the CBD and showing it to him (I meet with him on September 23, 2019).

I tried just the Clobazam I had picked up, for the dental appointment, but it didn't work. My intuition was right: I should have just stuck with the Argyle Softgels instead. Just because something falls into the benzodiazepine class doesn't mean it will help with anxiety - the Clobazam didn't help (though I didn't let anyone know it didn't work either).
 
I don’t have experience with benzo, but you made it outta there!
Definitely good that you’re telling the doc about the cbd, as it’s effects could be potentially harmful if taken with, for example warfarin, or another blood thinner. The double whammy could leave a patient hypotensive.
 
General Anxiety Disorder, Social Anxiety, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, and Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

The anxiety stuff is mostly due to being bullied all of my life (and still am being bullied) by students in school and family; especially my mother (think of the movie Carrie or even the book "Carrie" by Stephen King - that pretty much describes my life except I didn't have tampons thrown at me; I had other stuff thrown at me nor was I drenched in pig's blood - my mother isn't a religious freak but she is a control freak, BIG TIME). I ended up developing Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder due to being bullied everyday of my life both inside and outside of school by peers - mom even helped contribute to this.


I've had a brain injury since birth (a cyst covers the entire right side of my brain, including the amygdala, which controls emotions such as fear). I can still walk, talk, and do almost anything anyone else can; I don't have peripheral vision on my left (but I can see with both eyes - just not in the peripheral side on the left; I can see on the peripheral side on my right), I have poor visual recall, and it can be difficult for me to visualize something unless it's described thoroughly. I'm also epileptic; I have Simple-Partial Seizures (not the type where you fall down and lose consciousness; instead I have ones where I have an aura then an overwhelming sense of fear - I don't scream but I get a look on my face and I sometimes can't talk when it happens for some reason). I don't tell everyone about this but am treated like a freak anyway, even if I act "normal". Because of the seizures, I am unable to take anti-depressants or anti-psychotics - I tried them before and they made me sick and have seizures.

I tried to get help (counselling) but as soon as the psychologist or psychiatrist finds out about the brain injury (they look at my medical file) they refuse to see me unless I have someone, such as my mother (who is a narcissist - I did my research) with me. When she's with me at the appointments, they think she's perfect and I'm the one at fault - I'm given the role of scapegoat; I have had it since I was young, even though I'm the only child she had (I have two older half-brothers on my father's side who don't speak to anyone in the family; I have no other family to live with either, my father is in a home and the other family members think (and have said) that because of my issues I'm retarded even though I graduated high school )with a 76% Average, and did an Administrative Specialist program with a 96% Average - I made the Honour Role there. I can't find a job though due to a Criminal Record; a few years ago I shoplifted from a store and a few weeks later a cop came to my house to charge me with the theft. I am applying for the Record Suspension soon (since nothing happened since that incident) but I know it's pointless since nobody wants to hire someone with a brain injury - I figured that out when I applied for jobs that did NOT require a Certificate Of Conduct yet I was able to do the requirements of the jobs various places advertised. My mother helped me with my Resume And Cover Letter (she's good at that - I DO give credit where credit's due but I don't feel that just because someone does something like that to help someone means they have the right to treat me like dirt; which mom seems to think).

Sorry for the rant; I felt that an explanation was needed.
 
No explanation needed, but welcomed!
You've got an extra set of concurrent challenges there, which you seem to be able to at least "see" your way over the other side, if you will.
So however you're doing that/thinking through that, seems to be along a healthy path.

Parents and job/school concerns never change, even when you do get a decent job. They'll always feel like they have a right to dictate/"help"/inform/judge/compare. That's unbeatable, but it comes from a good place in their hearts.

I feel like you're probably stronger than you think, having dealt with these challenges all your life, and the brain is very plastic. You'll change, it'll change, mom will change, and the world will creep by.

BTW, if that was your first offence, a few years of good behaviour and you should be able to get that wiped.
That'll really help remove a layer of background anxiety. It's a step in the right direction, go for it (and don't get bogged down, fill out the paperwork and it's DONE!). ;)
 
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