I don't want to cause alarm, but it sounds like you could use some help. A lot of the withdrawal symptoms are similar to alcohol and benzos, including hallucinations and seizures which can potentially be fatal.
I don't know of any safe way to detox cold turkey alone. I have had a seizure and also drug induced psychosis. It is not a matter of physical or mental strength. At this point it is a physiological matter. Your body is trying to return to equilibrium and over compensating as a result from operating under sedatives for so long.
Please, do yourself and your loved ones a favor, reach out to the people who can help.
Medical detox centers in your area sound like the way to go.. might be time to make some phone calls and figure out your options before the withdrawals really start kicking.
Once you are delusional or having hallucinations it can be very difficult to make smart or safe decisions alone. It won't be too late to get help, but options will be even more limited. These detox centers are there for situations like this. If you become severely dehydrated and fall into seizure it can easily lead to death. Seizure alone is potentially fatal.
It is your life you are talking about here. Whatever the cost might be, I would think it is worth it if it gives you a second chance at life. A chance to get your things together and really go after life.
Again.. Medical detox center, where you can have the supervision of nurses and/or doctor(s). They can provide the medications you need to safely step off, food and nourishment for your body, and counselors can provide emotional support. You don't have to be alone if you don't want to. There are people who understand and are ready to help.
Be safe. We are here for support, but we can only do so much. Your body has its limits and it sounds like you are pushing them.. take care.
