Positive effects from drugs dissappear !

[superlux437]

Hello,


I want to begin straight away. I had a problem with abusing cocaine, mdma, alcohol for 2 years.
It is just recently that I begin to understand the damage I did to myself.
I think the underlying problem was my tendency of feeling understimulated because of my adhd. The first year of using cocaine was relatively soft-use. I snorted between 1-2g per week.
Mdma abuse was not that much but without the needed breaks between usage, so I ended up with some kind of panic disorder, dp, dr symptoms for four month. I think I could have recovered easily from all this but my personmal life at this point just broke away so I ended up binge using cocaine. By binge using cocaine I mean 2-3g on one day with a lot of alcohol, nicotine week after week for one year straight.
It was just recently I realised that I had a problem. Not so much with abusing drugs but because of adhd releated reward deficency. Life really never felt that rewarding for me, obviously when abusing drugs the reward threshold rises but I´m talking about pre- drug use.
So I began to see a doctor, who prescribed me ritalin for the adhd I have. I have to say, that between going to the doctor and getting the ritalin prescription and the last coke binge there was just two week inbetween.
So I began using ritalin hoping to fix my adhd symptoms and getting rid of all the substances I abused. The first week was pretty rough as ritalin seemed to change my personality quite a bit. I also noticed that I got more and more depressed, feeling apathic, lethargic etc. I thought it must be the ritalin so I changed to vyvanse took it for 1,5 month but the symptomps became more and more severe.
After 3 month of using prescription stimulants I just felt utterly bad. Fatigued, extremely depressed, lethargic, apathic etc.
When I now take vyvanse (30mg) I just feel flue like symptomps without any energy. I get the same reaction from smoking cigarettes and even caffeine sends me into an lethargic, apathic, depressed mood.
Is it possible that receptors are so much downregulated so that I just feel the negative effects of any drug ? I just recently did cocaine, just to see and I had the same reaction as with prescription stimulants.
Obviously, I´m going to take a long break from everything but I´m interested in the mechanic of this dysphoric reaction after a period of stimulant abuse. I know people who abuse stimulants for a life time and never feel any dysphoric effects. Obviously, the tolerance goes up but they don´t experience this flue-like symptomps I experience and I just abused drugs for two years...


Right know I´m trying to recover by just staying away from any kind of stimulant even caffeine...
I pretty much feel exhausted all day, fatigued, sleepy (even dough I sleep 12-15 hours a day), no motivation, no libido, depressed etc. I know this will take a while to reset but I find this symptomps a little bit to extreme for the abuse I did.


Any suggestions and/or similar experiences ?

 

[Keif' Richards]

The only good suggestion that anyone can give you is to cut back on your use if you are experiencing negative side effects associated with high-volume consumption, which it sounds like you're doing.

There are various treatments that medical professionals might recommend to someone who's ceasing a more or less chronic stimulant habit. Antidepressants are common, like SSRI's, SNRI's etc. These seem to be the first-line treatment, just from what I have observed. There's really a wealth of drugs out there that might make this process a little bit smoother for you, but your best bet is to seek out a Psychiatrist and see what their opinion is. We can give you suggestions, but it will always come down to what exactly your prescriber is willing to prescribe.

 

[superlux437]

I did not talk to my psychiatrist about the drug problems I have, however I told him about the depression and he prescribed me a SNRI (Pristiq). I don´t really know if I should go this route as my intention is to become totally drug free, I just don´t want to live this lifestyle anymore. Right now its pretty difficult for me to do anything useful during the day. My day to day revolves about laying in bed watching youtube videos... I just don´t feel right. It seems that my cognitive abilities declined. I have difficulties speaking. I don´t know why that is but it seems that I can´t speak so fluid anymore. I hope that goes away... It has just been a little bit more than one week since the last "escalation" and it is getting better very slowly. The thing is, that right now every day feels like an eternity... I just want to feel normal again...
What I don´t get is why do I feel so shitty in the first place. I know, I abused drugs but other people abuse drugs for far longer and don´t get any of these strange symptoms. For instance, what is behind this strange feeling of apathy, depression after taking any kind of stimulants... I never heard from anybody such a reaction. I´m familiar with the concept of tolerance, but since when does it go from euphoric to dysphoric after a tolerance have been created ?

 

[T. Calderone]

How long has it been since you took any stimulants? I wish I had a good answer for you besides give it some more time. I get the same symptoms (feeling shitty and depressed) after taking stimulant drugs and this is why I can't take them anymore. They just wreck me emotionally and I feel severely terrible like you described. Did you end up trying the Pristiq?

 

[superlux437]

About 9 days since I took the last stimulant. No, i haven´t tried the pristiq but I´m thinking about.

 

[SterlingM.Archer]

About 9 days since I took the last stimulant. No, i haven´t tried the pristiq but I´m thinking about.

Make sure to check for interactions between the pristiq and anything else you might take.

Everyone reacts to drugs, and the abuse of differently.

Start exercising. At least 20 mins a day. Anything. Just start. Increase intensity gradually. It really is amazing what 6 weeks of exercise can do to your mental state, ability to sleep, libido etc.

You said you have been pretty sedentary so it probably seems daunting, but it's not that bad and literally full of benefits. So go now! Go! (Srs. As long as you have no health issues and are moderately healthy there is nothing that's stopping you from starting today. )

 

[superlux437]

Thx for the advice. I have been exercising pretty heavily the last 3 years. Its just the last two-three weeks that I stopped, but I´m beginning now again to start lifting weights. Right now I don´t take any medications, nothing. I stopped smoking, drinking and any kind of stimulants. I´m thinking about starting Pristiq if the depression don´t lift a little bit in one-two weeks. I know, that it takes time to reset the brain but if in one-two weeks I don´t start to feel better it might be that there is something more serious going on. So, I will see.
What really bothers me is that no one can explain why some people experience dysporic effects after abusing a drug and why others only develop a tolerance... Maybe it has to do with lower d2 receptor density in adhd people and as I have been diagnosed with severe ADHD and thats also how it feels, I think it might be that abusing drugs on top of having a lower d2 receptor density being ADHD might have further downregulated d2 receptors in the striatum what now results in negative effects when taking any drug that is supposed to be euphoric... I really don´t find any helpful information out there regarding this topic. I really appreciate anything that helps in regards to explaining this. I really feel a need to know what is going on in my brain. Its difficult to accept that it is just the way it is.

thx