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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards | negrogesic

Popping pills in front of pharmacists, does it get any easier ??

Opiatehell85

Opiatehell85

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 11, 2016
Messages
223
Hi all,

ive been on supervised buprenophine for almost a week now, 8mg of a morning in front of pharmacist then 2mg to take home to use before bed time if I need it (I usually do) and this is gonna be my dosage for the next month according to my key worker.

now what bothers me is the supervised bit, I feel totally ashamed taking it In front of everyone at the pharmacy, he makes no effort to hide it from any other customers. The pharmacy I chose is in a deprived area away from my home, the reason being is because 1. I wanted them to be more experienced with supervised treatments, 2. I don't want to bump into people I know. 3. I don't want my usual pharmacist knowing either. Plus this pharmacy is literally next door to rehab so there's less chance of me losing my script on the way!

Ive spoken to the rehab dr about letting me take a weeks worth of tablets home, and he won't let me, only of a weekend when pharmacy is closed, I'm then allowed to take 20mg home to last the weekend. His reason being is that I have a history of abusing tablets so he thinks I could potentially abuse these too.

ive been nothing but honest to both the dr and key worker in rehab, and all my drug tests have been clean. I have no history of any other medication abuse and I've never used heroin, crack, needles etc (I don't have anything against people who do, but I just couldn't do it myself) I've explained this to them and that I'm really gonna try my best with this detox and have no intention of abusing bupe, (it doesn't even give me any high) but they are still reluctant.

to paint a picture of myself, I'm 30 years old, well dressed with good hygiene, don't leave home without my hair done and make up on, I work full time running my own business, have three children one who's disabled. Yes I have abused tablets but I've done it because of severe hip pain, and my own gp not complying with me to send me to pain management, even after begging her for three years. They also helped with my mind after a really shitty life since I was a child, I'm main carer for my disabled son and had tried CT for over a week and it just got too hard mentally, the physical withdrawal was easy in comparison.

Does anyone have advice on getting around the supervised bit? I'm having to travel a 30 minute bus ride every morning to do it, which I wouldn't mind if I didn't work or have to drag my children along, but I just can't take the embarrassment of it all, I know I'll probably get some grief here and I know it's a small price to pay and I got myself into this mess in the first place, I know all that already. I just don't want to fail my detox because I feel to ashamed to do my daily pick up. Addiction really sucks, but it's day 12 of being clean which is amazing for me.

Sorry about rabbling on, but I am feeling very upset about the situation. If other people can't trust me, then how can I learn to trust myself, they obviously think I'm gonna fail as soon as I see 7 days worth of tablets, but I won't, I'm determined to stay away from medication abuse!
 
well you do make a point
can imagine its a embarrassment and a stab to the ego to have to be supervised when taking your medication
but i mean it can be worse many people dont get the help they need so your "why me" can be someone else's blessing

i assume you are being supervised for a reason and again not here to judge you but again feel blessed it didnt turn out worse

*ps if it makes you feel any better i myself have to take a urine test every month to get my anxiety medication yeah it sucks
yeah i feel like a criminal but at the end of the day i dont give a shit what anyone thinks i get the help i need to live a little more comfortable day in and day out....that's all that matters to me
 
Last edited:
deos68 said:
well you do make a point
can imagine its a embarrassment and a stab to the ego to have to be supervised when taking your medication
but i mean it can be worse many people dont get the help they need so your "why me" can be someone else's blessing

i assume you are being supervised for a reason and again not here to judge you but again feel blessed it didnt turn out worse

*ps if it makes you feel any better i myself have to take a urine test every month to get my anxiety medication yeah it sucks
yeah i feel like a criminal but at the end of the day i dont give a shit what anyone thinks i get the help i need to live a little more comfortable day in and day out....that's all that matters to me
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hi, yeah it could be much worse, just so embarrassing! I see ppl looking at me taking it and it's degrading! Hopefully they will allow me to take it home soon.

Yeah urine drug tests suck! I have to have one every time I get buprenophine prescribed which is weekly, although last week they made me have three in one week, it's awful isn't it!

Its dragging my children there when they are off school too, plus it makes me have to start work later, I'm gonna speak with them again on my next appointment Monday.
 
As a pharmacist here in America, this is really suprising. Can I ask a few questions to see if I can help?

Do pharmacists in the UK offer services like vaccinations, glucose screening or medication counseling/management that would require a bit of privacy?

Also, and more importantly, are there no laws protecting the privacy of patients that you can ask them to honor?

Unfortunately, and I think this is the same anywhere, many pharmacists and other healthcare professionals judge Suboxone patients and do not offer the same courtesies they do other patients. Moreso if this is in a poor area as you mentioned. Knowing how the pharmacy operates and the regulations that may protect you are a good way to resolve the issue.
 
Kittycat5 said:
As a pharmacist here in America, this is really suprising. Can I ask a few questions to see if I can help?

Do pharmacists in the UK offer services like vaccinations, glucose screening or medication counseling/management that would require a bit of privacy?

Also, and more importantly, are there no laws protecting the privacy of patients that you can ask them to honor?

Unfortunately, and I think this is the same anywhere, many pharmacists and other healthcare professionals judge Suboxone patients and do not offer the same courtesies they do other patients. Moreso if this is in a poor area as you mentioned. Knowing how the pharmacy operates and the regulations that may protect you are a good way to resolve the issue.
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hi, yes they do offer them services, they do have a private room but he just gives me it at the counter in front of everyone.

im on subutex due to a painkiller addiction from hip dysplasia, got myself into a mess with them, I am very polite, patient and everything else, my rehab has asked me to be a spokesperson for their charity to help others like me with painkiller addictions to come forward, involves public and media speaking, as they told me I'm not their 'usual addict' yet I still get treated like scum.

i believe everyone wether a heroin addict or addicted to otc painkillers, we should all be treated with courtesy, after all addiction is an illness and I believe in most cases there is always an underlying reason why we are like this. It's very sad. I've self referred myself for help and I'm on a subutex detox, the pharmacist knows this yet I still can't be trusted to take 7 pills home to last me a week!!
 
I think what Kitty is referring to here in the US is called HIPPA. Basically, it's a patient privacy law in effect here (in the USA). Do they not have something similar to that law in the UK? If so, this is your angle of attack. Clearly what you're going through would not be tolerated in the states. I hope they have something like it there but if not, it sounds like you're at the mercy of your providers. I'm just not too sure you have much room to force a change in their actions. The good news is that it sounds like you're making real progress in your recovery and that can not be taken lightly. I applaud you for what you've done. Keep up the good work!
 
BeachBum4u said:
I think what Kitty is referring to here in the US is called HIPPA. Basically, it's a patient privacy law in effect here (in the USA). Do they not have something similar to that law in the UK? If so, this is your angle of attack. Clearly what you're going through would not be tolerated in the states. I hope they have something like it there but if not, it sounds like you're at the mercy of your providers. I'm just not too sure you have much room to force a change in their actions. The good news is that it sounds like you're making real progress in your recovery and that can not be taken lightly. I applaud you for what you've done. Keep up the good work!
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Hey lovely,

well good news, I went this morning and I asked if I could have my meds in the treatment room as pharmacy was really busy, he agreed and I told him in there that I'd like it in the private room every day, he agreed and said he's just used to giving out at counter as other people don't mind. So I told him I DID mind and found it upsetting, he apologised and said now he knows it won't happen again.

yes my recovery is going amazingly! It's the best decision I've made. I know you've been rooting for me since my first ever post and thanks to everyone's help I gave into my pride and took the buprenophine detox. I've told rehab I don't want to be on it long, maximum of eight weeks if possible, so fingers crossed it will work. I'm amazed at how different I feel, no searching for tablets or worrying about the GP not prescribing me them, not to mention I'm richer too from not buying online. I'm sleeping better, my sex drive is back, and I'm all round happier and positive. So Thankyou!! It must feel good to know that you have made a difference in someone's life, and I'm so very greatful xoxoxo
 
I have been on daily supervised dosing for 3 and a half months now. No dirty urines, have been honest with my doctors about everything. I hated it at first and it was a hassle but I have adapted.

They will give you take homes after awhile. It's only been a week, opioid addicts tend not to have any patience which is something you will need to learn to have if you are to be successful. Just grin and bare it for now, it will teach you patience and humility. Who cares if someone sees and judges you? But you could also ask if they have a private room for you to dose in if you like that better. Maybe go in when they aren't busy and just aire your concerns with the head pharmacist and see if they can do anything to accomadate you.
 
You know what fuck everyone else! Let them look. Unless you are an addict you most likely wouldn't know what subs are anyway. I would just walk in there with my head held high and take care of me! I cant be bothered with other people! i dont let the mmt girls look down on me. I'm wearing scrubs too and not passing out the same medicine all day long! Some of them would shit if they had to scrub in for a facelift! I most likely have the same title as most if them but guarantee my job blows theirs away in the responsibility and skills department. Point being who cares what others think! You know who and what you are and thats all that matters.
 
Opiatehell85 said:
Hey lovely,

well good news, I went this morning and I asked if I could have my meds in the treatment room as pharmacy was really busy, he agreed and I told him in there that I'd like it in the private room every day, he agreed and said he's just used to giving out at counter as other people don't mind. So I told him I DID mind and found it upsetting, he apologised and said now he knows it won't happen again.

yes my recovery is going amazingly! It's the best decision I've made. I know you've been rooting for me since my first ever post and thanks to everyone's help I gave into my pride and took the buprenophine detox. I've told rehab I don't want to be on it long, maximum of eight weeks if possible, so fingers crossed it will work. I'm amazed at how different I feel, no searching for tablets or worrying about the GP not prescribing me them, not to mention I'm richer too from not buying online. I'm sleeping better, my sex drive is back, and I'm all round happier and positive. So Thankyou!! It must feel good to know that you have made a difference in someone's life, and I'm so very greatful xoxoxo
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At the rate you're going (kudos again to you!) you're going to have to change your BL name as OpiateHell won't apply anymore!
 
BeachBum4u said:
At the rate you're going (kudos again to you!) you're going to have to change your BL name as OpiateHell won't apply anymore!
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yes big kudos maybe change it to opiateohhellno?
in the end it sucks but do what is best for you even if you feel shitty
you dont have to interact with anyone there in your personal life
as far as the person giving you the meds is concerned you are just another face lost in the crowd why even stress it?
waiting to see another BL success story soon :)
 
Hi. I have a painkiller addiction too.
Op. What is it you were taking.
Well done on your progress :)
 
Hey everyone :)

thanks for taking time out for me! Yeah I'm learning, each day I get more confident, today I said I was in a rush to get to work (which I was) you can imagine the look of shock, an addict who works, who'd of thought ;)

its friday tomorrow which means a weekend take home (woohoo) so I get a two day break. Then clinic on Monday and I'll ask again to be UN supervised, but if they say no, then it's not the end of the world.

wow 3.5 months!! That's a long time :/ but yeah it does get part of your daily routine!

Loving the the name change suggestions :) if I knew how to do it then I would, but maybe wait until I'm finished detoxing as I am still potentially taking opiates in the form of subutex.

Hahaha nope no needles or crack ever! I have always wondered what the effects are like but if I don't know, then I'm not missing out, plus I'm a major wimp, can only just about get my six monthly Botox without crying! Haha.

hi damoxy, it was only... Wait for it..... CODEINE.... But in doses of anywhere between 600mg-1200mg daily for three years solid, morphine too when I could get it. I needed help before my liver packed in. I'm guessing yours is oxy, which I've never tried. Hope ur kicking it's ass!!
 
Oh and to add my pain in hip is worse than ever, I would kill for a shot of morphine this morning but my mother gave me some naproxen this afternoon and it has eased a little, which has taught me that opiates were never really needed for my pain in the beginning, I'm pretty pissed off at my GP, but she wasn't to know I'd end up three years down the line abusing the hell outta them I suppose, I'm just thanking god it didn't start with something stronger, or that I moved onto different stuff, I must have a pretty weak metabolism or whatever for codeine to give me a high for as long as it did, cos a 600mg dosage before I quit would still knock my socks off ;) bug isn't it strange that 10mg of bupe doesn't give me the slightest high and it's so much stronger? Anyone know why that is? Probably a good thing tho or I would not want to come off it. Just hoping they can sort me some none opoid pain relief for the future xoxo
 
Lol at an addict that works! You just never know about people! I work for a plastic surgeon! For all you know I might the one in the room with you and the doc for your botox shots! Just bc we are addicts doesn't mean we are not professionals or good people! Everyone has some type if issue in their life!
 
That's an amazing job, well done!! What is it you're addicted to? If u don't mind me asking, I like to hear everyone's stories, I find it therapeutic :)
 
Yeah, I know that, but others who arnt addicted to something judge us straightaway. But everyone has their own story, and not everyone is willing to steal from their gran for a bag of H, it's only the bad stories that get told, u never hear of a drug users success. Unless on here, we are all fabulous on here ;) I've never met such supportive people all in one place! I don't judge anyone, I like everybody, I try to see good in most people unless they are obvious rapists, murderers or child abusers!!
 
Oh my word I'm so annoyed need to vent, went pharmacy this morning had 8mg in front of them then they gave me a box containing 2x 8mg and 3x 2mg for the weekend, I get home didn't think nothing of it, around 1:30 went to take my 2mg and checked boxes and they had only given me ONE 8mg tablet, I called them, he said to come back to pharmacy (which is so far from my house) so I just dragged my three kids there after school. He gave me the other 8mg and said our mistake and that was that. It could of been so much worse I suppose and I'd of been without but I know when I was in there yesterday they had done the same to an elderly woman with her creams. Surely they have to be checked before their dispensed?? I'll have to check now every time I'm in there that the amount it correct. I felt so scared that they were not gonna give me it. He must of done a stock check while I was travelling back there, or he already knew before I phoned them....
 
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