Polyamory?

[thegreenhand]

What are everyone’s thoughts on this? I’ve been wrestling with it myself for a few years now tbh. I have love for multiple people in my life and intimacy is a natural expression of that love. There’s lot of criticism that this isn’t a real sexuality (if it even falls under that definition??) and just an excuse to cheat

i dont buy that argument personally. parents can love multiple children equally. the love in each specific relationship is just expressed differently. Also in an ideal world I would love to have outside sexual relationships with a partner (threesome+) so that’s not cheating under any definition

but it seems like having multiple/open relationships is severely frowned upon. Am I just a POS for wanting to have intimate relationships with multiple people that I love? Because that’s honestly how I feel a lot of the time

 

[atara]

answered "it's just weird", had experience with this ~10 years ago, universally negative, would never try again

as with anything, it's okay if everyone's okay with it, but the very simple math of mutually consensual relationships says that the more people are involved the more likely one of them will not be okay with it

Am I just a POS for wanting to have intimate relationships with multiple people that I love? Because that’s honestly how I feel a lot of the time

your belief that you love someone as much as you would in an exclusive relationship does not override their preference to be in an exclusive relationship -- there's nothing wrong with having the relationship style you like as long as you respect everyone else involved

 

[thegreenhand]

Yeah I guess I should have clarified that because obv some people are not upfront about intentions in relationships - I always am to the best of my ability.

I would never expect anyone to conform to my personal desires. But it feels like if I voice this desire rather than them just saying ok sorry not for me and moving on they judge me and say I’m trash or something like that. Idk i just feel like its often assumed that this desire is the mark of a “player” or something

 

[mtu mwendawazimu]

Personally, i could humor it. Not just because it would allow me to get more goodies, sex, attention, what ever. But because it's very tough to say that I'll only love one person for the rest of my life. That said, i'm going to have a more traditional marriage, for the following reason.

I's hard to give everyone their due love and attention. I'd hate to half ass it for some women because i'm busy with another. It's not fair, and like atara said, there needs to be a level of respect. A high level of respect. For this to work.

But, i find humans to all be very distinct. People always say, "hey doesn't he remind you of this other guy?". I'm like, no. I can see some commonalities, but personalities are so intricate. And not to mention everchanging.

One of my exs recently told me i'm "unlike anyone she's ever met", to which i replied, "you could say that about anyone".

 

[thegreenhand]

Yeah the time aspect is something that is hard to reconcile. There’s no way I could split it up evenly or anything like that. It’s probably be a primary partner that I live with and maybe 1-2 other individuals who I also am intimate with. Idk maybe just a pipe dream.

This topic is often immediately dismissed so I appreciate the honest discussion y’all

 

[Gormur]

I think polygamy would be the ideal. Polyamory is just sex with multiple partners but I think people of both sexes have jealous tendencies, which is unfortunate. If I could choose I'd be in a polygamous marriage and we'd all live in the same house

 

[tubgirl.jpg]

Sign me up.

 

[cduggles]

I think it’s a unicorn in the long-term.
I know women who date multiple guys and label it this way. I couldn’t do it, but I get the motivation.

 

[SunriseChampion]

In my experience, it's a fucking headache. Would not recommend to my worst enemies. Something always goes wrong.

Having said that, I would recommend going with the flow and that sometimes ends up in situations that cause headaches.

The times I've tried this were some of the most stressful in my life. Trying to devote quality time to multiple people was fucking insane. I'm defo ok without it.
Also, yeast infections.....too many bacteria swaps going on.

It might even be why, these days, I'm asexual. hahaha, shit got too hectic I had to switch off.

 

[Juniper Bruhmomentius]

Love the idea, reality doesnt agree. Relationships are usually too complicated and shit.