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Pointers for quitting meth for good

crazyhairman

crazyhairman

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Joined
Feb 4, 2009
Messages
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My buddy is sitting here for the millionth time. You all know someone like him. Prison at an early age. Country boy, could use the term simple to describe him. Bit of some anger issues. Mainly he has struggled with meth for 6 years. Not really every day, just every 30 days or so. This last time he made it 83 days. Every time he uses he walks away from everything for a few days. Jobs, family, his girl, his kid. He's had 28 jobs in three years.

Obviously my advice of " just don't do it again" ain't working. He's in a cycle, we are his unofficial sponsor, but I really don't know if he is ever able to stop and stay clean.
 
From what I understand it's the hardest drug to get totally clean from. Lots can take breaks but very few remain off for any length of time. I hear it's incredibly hard to feel "normal " again after a bad habit like meth abuse.

Opioids and benzos come with their own quitting issues but once you get over the hump with this class of drugs you can get your homeostasis back and although you may miss the highs staying clean is doable.

With meth I hear that very few people ever get that monkey off their back as they just can't stand the way they feel without it. Usually something happens that forces them off for a bit ( jail ) but once out they are right back at it. Plus there isn't methadone or suboxone for meth users so they have to do it on their own with maybe some addy's or vyvance to get over the bad days.

Addiction to any class of drugs sucks but meth by far is the worst. All you can do is support your friend and try and understand that he may never quit.
 
That's literally everything I said to him so far. He's got plenty of people kicking him about it. Everyone knows that feeling, that worthless "here I am again feeling" . I try to keep him positive. I said bro you made it 83 days. And before that his record was 71 days.

I only ever see him when he's high tho. He lives 45 minutes away. Mostly works in the oil fields, or other physically demanding jobs. But he comes here when he fucks up because he knows we won't be mad or tell him stuff he already knows.

I know the longer it goes to more likely his mental health is deteriorating. His kid is 3 now . Just rough seeing him go through it
 
I would submit that this sort of usage is oftentimes the result of an undiagnosed other situation IE trauma or some other mental health issue, or environmental trigger.
are any of these things an issue @crazyhairman ??
 
Yes definitely, and possibly all three. Without going into graphic details. What would work with this situation, therapy?
 
I’m sorry about the situation with your friend. Meth is rough. I started off doing it once every couple of months or so, just partying on the weekends. It was manageable. Then I started using it pretty much every month and before I knew it I was using it all the time. I would do the weekend thing and then decided to do more so I could make it through the work day. Daily use went on for awhile and then I’d binge, withdrawal, recover and once I felt better the cycle would repeat itself. It was bad.

When he uses and comes to your place does he seem ashamed? Has he truly expressed interest in wanting to quit? Is anyone who’s in his life giving him personal consequences?
Maybe rehab or an Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP)? I went through an IOP where I went to mandatory group meetings in the evenings 3 days a week for 6 months. They did random drug testing and I had a counselor to talk to. It was a good accountability/support for me.
I had people telling me to just stop doing it. It’s not as easy as a non addict thinks it is.
I hope he gets help. The sooner the better.
 
Thank you for the feedback for one.

He's not really even MY friend. He's my boyfriend's friend. I'm just super supportive of people that want to make a change in their lives. So ... This guy has been spiraling down this whole year. 4 weeks ago he finally got to the point of asking to be taken to rehab.
The only free rehab we found was in Houston TX.
Took him down there and he made it 5 whole days before getting kicked out for fighting a wooden fence....

So now he's living with us .... It's not pleasant. He's 37 days clean at this point. But his mood is all over the place. And I don't mean to talk down about him , but he's kinda "simple" minded.
Like he complains about not being able to drive, not able to get a job because he can't drive. And even though we live in the middle of town , he doesn't want to walk because he's worried about looking dumb. Idk none of it makes sense to me.

So I gave him my room it's got a 55in TV and an Xbox one. I moved to the attic loft again no big deal I don't mind. 4 or 5 times now I've caught him snooping around space in the attic. I have my weed up there. So I just tell him " dude , if you need to smoke a j or something that's fine, just ask me. He always replies" no , no , I can't be doing all that I gotta get a job soon. "
3 days ago I couldn't find my weed vape. So I went downstairs and asked if he had it. He hung his head down and said" yea , I'm sorry man"

Again I'm like hey it's cool. Just please ask me first. He does this shit all the time. Where he says something like " I'm not going to use weed or vapes anymore because I know it's not good for me".

Then I catch him rummaging threw my room looking for it.

He's attitude is up then down then mad then sad. And he feels hopeless and useless.

I totally get it 100% when I was 17 I was the same way getting off meth SUCKS but Jesus h crist man it's been 37 days of him throwing a tantrum when he doesn't get his way, then apologizing after. This is exactly what my poor parents went through with me. I keep saying to myself...it's ok he's got no one else to turn too every day clean is a good thing.

He goes to AA meetings sometimes just because the NA meeting is all the way across town.

The dude has no patience. His thought process is "hey I've made it 37 days clean I'm good"
I know he needs more support and all it's just not going to even level out until he's at least 6 months clean.

I don't want him here for 6 more months...as shitty as that sounds. He's not even my friend. I'm just doing the right thing because I've been there before. I talk to him , I try to find him jobs, and dates. But I just want my room back lol. And deep down I don't even want to get too involved because I know at any moment he's going to relapse.

Dude needs medication and a counselor. He over shares in every single conversation we have. Oh and apparently I'm his best friend in his mind.

I'm filling the void as friend /halfway house for now but fuck bro... Dude is annoying 😡
 
I don't know, it's kind and caring of you to help him, but you are going overboard when you give your room and TV and move to the attic, not to mention being so accomodating in so many other ways to someone who sounds like he's being a jerk. Sounds codependent or something. I don't want to sound like a jerk myself, but if I were you, I'd ask why you are putting up with such bullshit. It's kinda like it is showing some issues that you have. (sweet person that you seem to be) He needs help and he deserves help, but I think he needs to be held more accountable and he needs to really want to get his shit together. You didn't say what trauma he experienced which you think led to his problems (which seem to me a lot more than just meth) but I think he needs professional help. Like you said, medication and a counselor, which you cannot provide.
Good luck <3
 
...And when you say you don't want him there 6 more months but you want to do the right thing, well, "the right thing" might be to not be so over accomodating. It enables him to not deal with his problems, imho. And you DO need to take of yourself, as well.
 
It was briefly mentioned above I think. Some people with meth addiction get a script for stimulant medications with the purpose of tappering down. Like Dexamphetamine, with the same idea as opioid addiction and replacing the drug with the long term goal of tappering down and eventually off if no longer necessary.

Then combining the tapper plan with support groups like SMART Recovery or Narcotics Anon., and or counselling/talk therapy. As they say, medication without the therapy of some kind is nowhere nearly as effective(there’s evidence of this premise out there).

As long as your boyfriend’s friend is motivated and willing to put in the effort, there is hope to make the progress that the person is looking for and perhaps leading to more family and job stability if he deems them as important enough to fight for.
 
Definitely agree that he needs a counsellor. Medication might help too. From my own experience the first month or two are really messy. Emotional, forgetful and a bit fruity. You've been a good person for helping him etc but there may be a point where you have to set boundaries with him. If he's using monthly or something like that, maybe he's just ina world full of torment or anxiety or PTSD or something. I know a guy who went to rehab who "still does it every month or two"...Which is not good! Any amount of meth can fuck you over, and it can start with monthly use then develop into fortnightly then weekly then a few days a week or everyday. It sounds like he could really benefit from an inpatient program or even just a regular psychologist and maybe a drug counsellor. You guys are amazing for helping him out but unfortunately he has to do a lot of work himself. The 1 and 2 months after using are where a lot of people relapse. It quickly kills off any self-esteem issues, anxiety, depression etc, while making these things worse in the long run. And I doubt he'd get stimulant medication to quit but it could be something to look into. It's a bad habit to break out of but it sounds like he could be a heck of a lot worse. But you guys can't do everything for him, he has to do some of the work himself. Hope this helps.
 
I tried Zoloft, which seemed to be the best from my research as it interacts with the dopamine transporter. There is some debate on the dose (most psych drugs behave differently a different doses, including methamphetamine). Some said it isn't significant until 300mg, which is above the typical dose of 200mg. I played around with it and thought 200mg worked well.

I don't think dexamphetamine will really help. It's the serotonin features of meth that make it "feel good". Dex is more pure dopamine. I realize this is reductionist to a degree. But frankly, I felt pretty good on Zoloft for a few months. It got me through a tough time.

I'd also be afraid the doc would prescribe Adderall. The levoamphetamine isomer is probably really bad so far as anxiety and dysphoria is concerned.

Point being, it's not all dopamine. Even cocaine is a pretty strong triple reuptake inhibitor all around. Definitely not just a dopamine reuptake inhibitor as commonly believed.
 
Dude is coming up on 50 days clean. I bought him Red Dead redemption 2. You'll hear him laughing at the game randomly. My neighbor got him a gym membership. He has a workout routine along with a diet. Every once in a while I buy him a few pounds of hamburger meat or like a buy one get one free budget steak. He's also kicked vapes and cigarettes this week. We are using the same types of positive reinforcement that we use for training a puppy.

He had a date with a girl about an hour and a half away he spent a couple of days over there with her and when he got back he was chill af. Hearing him talk about enjoying little simple things in life without drugs without cigarettes without losing his cool as much is very hopeful.

He desperately wants to find employment as he sees it there's nothing worse than being unemployed or a burden on people.

I think He's becoming self-aware of his mental issues. His anger and outbursts are still somewhat of an issue but I see him taking steps to try to stop before it gets outrageous.

We still need to get him into some therapy and some professional help it's just tough we're in the south there's not a lot of resources for free.

I'll check back in if he reaches it to the next milestone of 90 days.
 
He has potentially a neurological or nervous system condition. He twitches and has certain tics that he's always had since he was a kid. They put him on all sorts of pills at an early age that gave him horrific side effects and terrible memories dealing with doctors and psychiatrists.
He has mood swings but that's pretty common for drug users. It's hard to tamp down how much of it is a neurological condition versus side effects of long-term drug use.

His older brother is also a long-term meth user who has been in and out of prison and has been missing for some time now.

He's making progress though it be painful at times. I know that even if he attains the long-term sobriety he's going to need support. Good quality friends, a routine, structure, a network basically.

Medication right now is a non-starter for him due to the experience he had with doctors and being force fed pills at an early age.
 
Well. . . All I know is he skipped work today and we haven't seen him in a few days... He made it to day 76. We won't know until he makes contact whether or not he used. If so he literally walked away from a 22$ an hour job after 3 days. Suspiciously after his first pay check.

He knows the agreement to stay here was to stay out of trouble and stay clean.

I'm not sure what or where he plans to do after this. It's watching someone literally choose drugs over everything. This was his last real friend.

This isn't how I wanted my game room back. Now it's like everything has been pointless. And like I said even though I've only barely knew the guy this situation is fairly familiar from years ago.

You can see his life just go right down the drain in real time.
 
We can close this thread probably. This has turned into a dark side post

Sometimes it be like that. Not everyone is successful.
 
crazyhairman said:
My buddy is sitting here for the millionth time. You all know someone like him. Prison at an early age. Country boy, could use the term simple to describe him. Bit of some anger issues. Mainly he has struggled with meth for 6 years. Not really every day, just every 30 days or so. This last time he made it 83 days. Every time he uses he walks away from everything for a few days. Jobs, family, his girl, his kid. He's had 28 jobs in three years.

Obviously my advice of " just don't do it again" ain't working. He's in a cycle, we are his unofficial sponsor, but I really don't know if he is ever able to stop and stay clean.
Click to expand...
Well of course they have to want to stop. So they have to find their “why”. That’s important in any objective.

Second I’d suggest, exercise. Yeah I know sounds dumb but exercise especially cardio is amazing for recovery.

And I’ll be honest about me, I am a stim addict hard core so I crossed that addiction with porn so sex can trigger cravings for
Meth. So at the least stay away from porn and fapping unless it’s actual sex. Even then I’d recommend waiting three months at least

And I started taking abilify which is used in stimulant recovery. It helps reduce stimulant highs so even if I wanted to get high it will be greatly deminished supposedly. Haven’t tried it and don’t want to. I know you can push thru with the right stimulant and high enough dose so not a great deterrent but it helps rebalance the brain after stimulant addiction.

It’s an AP but he may not need it forever and it’s an atypical so atypical usually have lower side effect profiles. I like it.

Third

He already has- support. Support is important enough to out it up here. The old saying ppl places and things is very true as well.

4th

REPLACE it with something else. If he likes 12 step groups that’s something he can replace it with and he gets support or replace it with new dreams that are healthy and pursuing those dreams. Video games even but it’s less effective than say pursuing a dream

These are some things that have helped me.

Lastly give him this audio book free-because they ingrain in our heads that you don’t have a choice in treatment which has a 93 percent failure rate or something crazy. But you do.

Mind you, this guy does not coddle or hand hold. Sometimes we need hard truths spoken directly. This book changed my life. Quite seriously.


 
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