Benzos Please do your best to talk me out of becoming benzo dependent because I’m crossing that line and know I need to stop myself but I can’t

[BK38]

May I ask how long it takes your withdrawal to kick in and to describe it?

I just went 5 days without any diazepam but my pain was so high last night that after tripling my opioid dose with no effect on the pain I added a benzo to knock me out.

I wasn’t feeling benzo withdrawal after 5 days but I know diazepam withdrawal can take from one to two weeks to manifest after your last dose according to some reports on this site


I’m taking about half your dose but I always take one week off per month usually. But as I said in my OP this time I had been dosing daily for probably lose to two months and didn’t take my usual one week tolerance break. And the dosies were getting bigger so I start to really worry ther will be no turning back soon.

From the sounds of it you're not as heavily addicted as I am. Not to say you're out of the woods. The acute WD is quite prolonged as is the accompanying PAWS. I go into withdrawal in 6-8hrs, I can't go days without. I think a simple taper is what's best ime.

I'm not a doctor but I think if you dropped 2.5mg a week for 2 months you'll be fine and will probably just suffer some PAWS for a month or two while only suffering minor acute WDs (rebound anxiety, insomnia etc).

Definitely don't cold turkey or drop too fast with your taper.

 

[Mr. Krinkle]

Hey there is a guy on BL that says you can do them, just don't do them everyday.

that would be me

i did them for years and never had a single withdrawal


the secret is: don't take them every fucking day!

 

[JackARoe]

And they could make life absolutely horribly inert and mundane. When I had been having benzo in my system 24/7 for a year straight with ever-increasing dose, I was completely flat which prevented me of processing anything that made me anxious or being able to properly feel anything that could have distracted me from anxiety.

Thanks for that. I notice this with occasional use. Even etizolam. It helped me sleep at times. And they are good when I take one for a physical or when I had my tooth pulled. They help in those situations. But a regular day taking a benzo when not needed results in flatness, depression, feeling really down and unable to participate in watching a movie. That is with any benzo. I remember almost crying a few times going to sleep on etizolam saying I don't to wake up into another day. Really depressed. If I want to sleep on a couch after dinner a benzo is good. And diazepam makes me the least depressed than say alprazolam. But I am sure these side effects would go away with most people that need the medicine. I think. I mean we have a few people on BL that take their meds daily, never increased and have come here and say they are fine. Others not so much and get a tolerance.

Honestly when benzos replace barbiturates the notion going around was they don't get you high. A barbiturate was different. I never felt as depressed. Not sure what benzos do, maybe the anti seizure part causes that. But in the late 70's diazepam took the place of secobarbitol at my neighbors house. We would take some reds and get high. But then we tried Valium and to try and get high we would take 10 Roche blues with a shot or two or whiskey and always longed for the reds again. I only did diazepam a handful of times in my teens. The only thing I remember is not remembering my day and waking up waiting for it to wear off.

Just saw the Ashton documentary on Netflix. It is a must watch. I put a spaces, take them out of link

ht tps://www .you tube.com/ watch?v=YEk3e9uKwRo&t=

 

[someguyontheinternet]

Benzos don't bind to exteasynaptic GABAa receptors because they rely on the gamma subunit that synaptic receptors have where extra synaptic GABAa receptors have a delta subunit. This means that rather than tonically inhibiting neurons, benzos enhance the natural inhibitory GABA signaling. Barbs bind to both synaptic and extra synaptic receptors and they also cause different changes to the GABA signaling. Barbs increase channel open time while benzos increase open probability while maintaining the same open time as natural GABA signaling.

Also benzos interact with another receptor, the translocator protein which increases the synthesis of various neuropeptides which themselves regulate GABA and some NMDAr signaling, iirc barbs don't do that

 

[Borax]

Please do your best to talk me out of becoming benzo dependent because I’m crossing that line and know I need to stop myself but I can’t

I’ve been an opioid dependent person for over a decade and it’s a fucking living hell. Now I’m going to add benzo dependency on top of it.

I know this is going to fuck me over bad if I get dependent I need someone to slap some sense into or lecture me or something.

I need to gain the desire not to cross this line. How do I get that desire? Common sense tells me it’s wrong to do this But things are going badly health wise for me and I just don’t care about anything anymore. I know I’m going to pay hard for it if I become benzo dependent.

I’ve always taken tolerance breaks my whole life annd experienced a very minor withdrawal starting a few of the past T breaks (a strange feeling of malaise that I can’t quite describe). but for a month now I’ve been taking 20 to 40 mg diazepam daily.

Honestly, be a drinker or try phenibut, i hate both those substances but imho benzos are the most destructive gabaergenic

 

[kongoman]

) - I get what I can as far as pure pharmaceuticals off the black market

Wich ones? Thanks

 

[Mr. Krinkle]

Just do take them everyday... especially with something like diazepam which has a really long half life, and it's just highly unnecessary....2 or 3 times a week is really all you need anyway

don't be an idiot and you can live long and prosper

 

[TheUltimateFixx]

Withdrawal : horrendous and potentially fatal.

 

[JackARoe]

Talked out of it yet Lucid? Keep us posted. This reminds me of the ketamine thread. Should be a sticky.

Posts like this do help people. I may have fluffed off the danger on benzos 10-20 year ago and got into some habit of taking one every night for sleep. But I was armed with facts coming here to BL. Now I use them less than occassionally. But it is important to research to get the facts. Plenty of people did not have issues. But plenty did. And I trust the posts. Someone says benzo withdrawal makes opiate withdrawal look like a walk in the park that is a pretty powerful statement. I would never make it through at my age. I could survive an opiate withdrawal. Not sure I could do a 6 month-2 year withdrawal.

 

[LucidSDreamr]

Talked out of it yet Lucid? Keep us posted. This reminds me of the ketamine thread. Should be a sticky.

Posts like this do help people. I may have fluffed off the danger on benzos 10-20 year ago and got into some habit of taking one every night for sleep. But I was armed with facts coming here to BL. Now I use them less than occassionally. But it is important to research to get the facts. Plenty of people did not have issues. But plenty did. And I trust the posts. Someone says benzo withdrawal makes opiate withdrawal look like a walk in the park that is a pretty powerful statement. I would never make it through at my age. I could survive an opiate withdrawal. Not sure I could do a 6 month-2 year withdrawal.

I’m not talked out of anything unfortunately except ever taking them for fun, sleep, or or taking very high doses; because I take them when I get attacked by instemse pain flares. Not for fun or for sleep.

I would say I’m very scared of them hence my reason for even making this post and the fear has increased as a result of the replies.

When you get in that much pain and it’s lasting for weeks. I would do anything. I would smoke fentanyl if I knew how to get it.

When you are in that much pain and you have been having chronic pain for years you don’t care about anything including addiction and you hope that someone will kill you because you are too much of a coward to kill yourself.

so I just went 5 days without taking them because the pain was low. But it got real bad and I took some the past two days.

I would say I did think back to this thread and how serious it is so I only took 15 mg rather than my usually inclination to take 30 mg right off the batt. And the 15 was plenty to stop the muscle spasms and pain (mind you I had already tried a triple opioid dose but the pain was All spasm and muscle clenching related mostly and the opioid didn’t put a dent in that)

As to harm reduction on this forum you mentioned more broadly

I credit this websites mdxx sub forum for making myself obey a strict 1 X per month mdma rule when I was using it a decade ago. The horror stories of long term comedown.

The IV complications megathread was also very instrumental in me putting down the needle for good almost 10 years ago. I saw two friends die of blood infections but that coupled with knowing how common in really was from that BL thread made me just put down the needle and switch to snorting oxys/dillys.

But shooting up and taking mdma were purely recreational things. This is much different what im dealing with now and its easy to stop taking drugs for fun vs stopping them for pain attacks.

 

[JuncoPartner]

Get on the smack lad, smoke it off foil and don't do it any other way.
Wouldn't usually recommend that sort of behaivor but needs must mate....your already on opis anyway so you need to start scoring H....sort your pain out and you'll love it so much the interest in Benzos will be gone for at least a couple years, I reckon anyway.

Sounds like your right on the verge of getting properly hooked on them....takes ages to happen, but, happens in a really weird way.
You won't notice till it's too late, fuck knows....pain in the arse.

Sounds like the benzos are knocking you out at least still. That will stop happening soon and you will eat unbelievable numbers of them, to come to days/week or so, later. Probably in prison or hospital. If not dead.
Know plenty of cunts that have woke up dead from them (mixing with opis)....

Sounds like you've got your head screwed on mate....You asked what do you do for work while withdrawal is happening, and mentioned work again I think....lol work....fucking' you can forget being a valued member of society if they really get you....

Your gonna ruin your life and end up in the fuckin' ground if you get a proper habit on them....Probably 90% chance....your already on pain pills. Probably eat a few boxes, blackout and eat all your script in 1 and o.d.... Or go wobbling round in the clinic and fuck all your scripts up....

I could go on but I'm really not trying to be a prick (and I'm using a shit amazon tablet so hard to type on)....ironically because I broke my month old phone a week ago today, even the phones fucked basically because of Benzos (kind of long story).

Someone else needs to give advice for getting better meds, I'm in U.K. Docs arnt the same.

I Honestly believe doing heroin is your best, safest, cheapest and most logical choice. Don't think I have ever said that before, ever.

Good luck mate and so sorry for the spelling, 2nd night awake and grrrrrrr this FUCKING TABLET! ...... thank fuck that's done

Edit spelling grammer tried sorry

 

[Psychlone Jack]

Get on the smack lad, smoke it off foil and don't do it any other way.
Wouldn't usually recommend that sort of behaivor but needs must mate....your already on opis anyway so you need to start scoring H....sort your pain out and you'll love it so much the interest in Benzos will be gone for at least a couple years, I reckon anyway.

Sounds like your right on the verge of getting properly hooked on them....takes ages to happen, but, happens in a really weird way.
You won't notice till it's too late, fuck knows....pain in the arse.

Sounds like the benzos are knocking you out at least still. That will stop happening soon and you will eat unbelievable numbers of them, to come to days/week or so, later. Probably in prison or hospital. If not dead.
Know plenty of cunts that have woke up dead from them (mixing with opis)....

Sounds like you've got your head screwed on mate....You asked what do you do for work while withdrawal is happening, and mentioned work again I think....lol work....fucking' you can forget being a valued member of society if they really get you....

Your gonna ruin your life and end up in the fuckin' ground if you get a proper habit on them....Probably 90% chance....your already on pain pills. Probably eat a few boxes, blackout and eat all your script in 1 and o.d.... Or go wobbling round in the clinic and fuck all your scripts up....

I could go on but I'm really not trying to be a prick (and I'm using a shit amazon tablet so hard to type on)....ironically because I broke my month old phone a week ago today, even the phones fucked basically because of Benzos (kind of long story).

Someone else needs to give advice for getting better meds, I'm in U.K. Docs arnt the same.

I Honestly believe doing heroin is your best, safest, cheapest and most logical choice. Don't think I have ever said that before, ever.

Good luck mate and so sorry for the spelling, 2nd night awake and grrrrrrr this FUCKING TABLET! ...... thank fuck that's done

Edit spelling grammer tried sorry

Pretty sure the op is here in the States, and not sure if you're aware but heroin isn't heroin over here anymore, vast majority all fentanyl. So if he isn't using that already, it really would be a terrible move. Benzo addiction can be horrible but reasonable, if that makes sense, but h/fent is a crap shoot each and every time...

 

[JuncoPartner]

Yyeah of course man,
I get that fents everywhere on the streets like kid dealers or whatever.

you must be able to order it in the post. Then again American post can be a cunt I've heard. Lots of scanners and dogs....

then again stuff gets in u.k. all the time. Don't know how fents not mad over here. I've seen some so called "China white" quite a bit but not used since feb really. .

it was some fent\u7 knock out for a hour and wake up stuff basically though. Fucking idiots

 

[Psychlone Jack]

Yyeah of course man,
I get that fents everywhere on the streets like kid dealers or whatever.

you must be able to order it in the post. Then again American post can be a cunt I've heard. Lots of scanners and dogs....

then again stuff gets in u.k. all the time. Don't know how fents not mad over here. I've seen some so called "China white" quite a bit but not used since feb really. .

it was some fent\u7 knock out for a hour and wake up stuff basically though. Fucking idiots

Yeah... I was (taken lol) out of the game by the time fent was getting big here. I mean I totally get that you take what you can get when you're sick, but how did this just kinda get accepted in general? And the overwhelming majority of folks won't bother to seek other sources. It's like "Well, they've replaced our euphoriant with anesthesia, and the probably is now a definitely with regards to mortality, should we each consume this inferior shit long enough. Carry on then, bring friends!"

I don't get it. Yeah, a bag went from 20 to 4 dollars. No one says, wow, the dope is so much better these days. Everyone who kept using after fent took over either woke up quick and stopped or died.

 

[JackARoe]

And the overwhelming majority of folks won't bother to seek other sources. It's like "Well, they've replaced our euphoriant with anesthesia, and the probably is now a definitely with regards to mortality, should we each consume this inferior shit long enough. Carry on then, bring friends!"

Yeah that astounds me. The acceptance. And maybe it is the price. I do remember people from small towns in other states coming to NYC (late 80's early 90's) to the spot I went to and copped 100 bags and went back to their state and sold it for double. (so $10 had you a bag of good heroin in the Tristate area)

Benzo addiction can be horrible but reasonable, if that makes sense

I think people using them as a med should adapt that notion. Lots of fear and scariness with people being addicted yet others who have made it work for years. I think if a person already went down the road then just not worry about it and make it work as best as you can. A supervised taper can make it easy for some. i have seen posts of the horror and then the ease if done right. Reasonable makes sense. I mean I have to take that notion. I have family members prescribed benzos. I may not want them to read the horrors. Just the easy stuff.