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People that live alone.

garygroundwork

garygroundwork

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 17, 2006
Messages
356
I'm interested in people that live alone through choice.

Why do you do it? Do you like it? What do you do in your down time?

I guess this is more directed at people that have self isolated, given up on family life, partners etc etc

I literally have 2 friends who have given up on everything and both live alone in small apartments.
Both say they are at peace and very happy with their decisions. Sometimes I'm not sure if they are just saying that because they lack the resources to travel or do much these days.

- Both have cats.
-One has a shitty part time job and one doesn't work at all.
-Neither socialise.
-One is a big pot smoker the other stays sober and loves video games.

I also have a friend she has just turned 50 and she has never had kids, been married once for a year, hated her life long job and just quit it but is now fed up and looking for a place to see out her days alone.

These stories interest me a lot and I often think about it.

Anyone else like this and are you happy ?
 
The only reason that I will be living alone shortly is because I don't have a girlfriend atm.

Last time I lived alone I was homeless, it wasn't too bad, but it was super lonely.

But living alone is generally pretty lonely for me, it sucks to go through a day and only say 100 words or less throughout the entire day, or to talk to 1 or 2 people once or twice a week.

Yeah sure i have the internet and forums like this with communities of people that share similar interests to me, but I am not even talking to real people on the internet, I am talking to a digital persona that they have created of themselves in order to transmit information across the internet. I much rather enjoy conversing in person than via the internet or phone.

But yeah I have given up on relationships for about a year now and i just feel like i am missing out on the 18-25 experience. I don't really feel good about it, but i won't get hurt.

I do have 1 friend that i see a few times a year, but that is about to change when I get my new job. Furthermore he is the only friend that is my age (19) the rest of my friends are Gen X as I find it easier to relate to them. This is a problem for me when socializing with people my age and ESPECIALLY when pursuing relationships with women my age because I am so out of touch with my generation that no one my age wants to talk to me, save for the 1 friend mentioned earlier.

In short, it is lonely but it's better than getting cheated on or having friends double cross you.
 
I definitely know what it feels like. I come from a very small family and I was a loner for much of my life. Anti-social and never made much of an attempt to connect with other people. Part of it was my upbringing but part of it was just a personal failing on my own part.

There are all kinds of ways to live in this world but, just from my own perspective and opinion, it’s not a great way to live. Once you’ve been alone in the world for so long and someone comes along and takes you out of that situation, it’s like receiving a crucial vitamin that you’ve been starved of your whole life and didn’t even know you needed. Once you’ve received that human connection it’s hard for me to imagine not desiring it again on some level, even if it led to pain.
 
i've had roommates. i've lived with long-term partners. and i've lived alone.

i currently live alone and i really enjoy it. i work remotely so, physically, i work alone most of the time too.

alasdair
 
Burnt Offerings said:
Once you’ve been alone in the world for so long and someone comes along and takes you out of that situation, it’s like receiving a crucial vitamin that you’ve been starved of your whole life and didn’t even know you needed. Once you’ve received that human connection it’s hard for me to imagine not desiring it again on some level, even if it led to pain.
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Splendid way of putting it.

Socialization and relationships (especially a long-term romantic relationship) is better than any drug to me, just wish it was something you could buy with money.
 
I used to live with roomates and would party every single night. Did this for years. And so once I moved out and was single, I just needed a break. Given, that break has now gone longer than I intended and I'd like to do the whole family and live together thing, it's just a fading dream with the way things are today it seems. I got my dog so I'm good for the most part.
 
I come from a long succession of terrible fathers, and I do not want to add to that pile.

Hard to find long-term GFs that don't want kids, so i usually stick to short flings.

Also I hate the co-dependance my partners developed in relationships. No I dont wanna talk every evening, leave me alone ffs
 
jasperkent said:
I've learned the hard way that I'd much rather be alone and wishing I was with somebody than to be with somebody and wishing I was alone.
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The quickest cure for loneliness is being married for 20 years. ;) My wife would agree.

We are never happy. With someone, without someone. Being alone is a commodity. Try and enjoy it. And if a relationship is what you desire you will get that before you reach the grave. And hopefully it won't put you in a grave!
 
I am such a person who never wanted kids, or get married, and though I lived together with one BF for several years, it wasn't exactly a typical thing. I had a cat when I was in college, at a time when I had several good friends. Now I have no friends but three dogs. I work from home because of a health issue, where I can schedule my own time. Sometimes my job is cool,.sometimes it bores me to death. I earn barely enough to keep me alive (but have a tiny financial help from a tiny trust fund).
So what do I do with all my non-socializing time?
I write fiction.
I try to paint.
I sew.
I want to relearn blender and after effects (well, natron) for a new project I have in mind
I create home decor stuff from recycled materials
I recently moved to a house with a very nice yard and enjoy gardening.
Since I moved I enjoy going to town where I end up talking to street vendors and street artists and other colorful folks.

Right now I'm going through a not so good time being alone because of something that happened a few days ago. But I know I'll get over it. And still be happy to live alone.
 
Burnt Offerings said:
There are all kinds of ways to live in this world but, just from my own perspective and opinion, it’s not a great way to live. Once you’ve been alone in the world for so long and someone comes along and takes you out of that situation, it’s like receiving a crucial vitamin that you’ve been starved of your whole life and didn’t even know you needed. Once you’ve received that human connection it’s hard for me to imagine not desiring it again on some level, even if it led to pain.
Click to expand...
I feel this.

I've lived alone now for 11 years and been single for 13 years. Just me and my records and books....and plants.

It's the most schizoid thing ever. On one hand I love the freedom from obligation and the freedom of my own space, but after this long I'm defo missing the presence of a partner. The problem now being that after this much time I can't imagine giving up rule over my own domain to anyone. I know I don't really want to be alone anymore but am scared of giving up my freedom as I see it at the same time.
This probably won't end well, but I'm doing fine for now.

In closing: I highly recommend it for periods of up to maybe 8-10 years. And that's only if you're using the time to work on yourself, if needed. But, really.....don't do it. It takes a certain type of mental fortitude, I think.
I'm definitely sick of myself. ;)
 
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