Anxiety People Don't Understand my Panic Attacks

Dreamflyer

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 25, 2021
Messages
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I had my first full-blown panic attack on Christmas morning when I was 6 years old when my excitement turned into anxiety. I'm almost 52 now, and I've suffered from them ever since. I'm not asking for advice on therapy or medication because I've tried just about everything over the last 45 years and I still live in fear of them. My problem is this:

Some people just think that I'm being a crybaby, exaggerating, weak-minded or looking for attention. When people say things like, "Oh, just get over it." or, "What do YOU have to be anxious about?", I just want to scream!

I've come up with one way of explaining them to people, and maybe one of you can use this advice some day:

Everybody that I've ever known has had an anxiety attack at least once in their lives. It could be on an airplane, stuck in an elevator, a dentist's chair, or any number of things. I tell them to imagine how they felt at that time, then magnify it by 100x, and that's how it feels to be me.

Thanks for listening,
Dreamflyer
 
I had my first full-blown panic attack on Christmas morning when I was 6 years old when my excitement turned into anxiety. I'm almost 52 now, and I've suffered from them ever since. I'm not asking for advice on therapy or medication because I've tried just about everything over the last 45 years and I still live in fear of them. My problem is this:

Some people just think that I'm being a crybaby, exaggerating, weak-minded or looking for attention. When people say things like, "Oh, just get over it." or, "What do YOU have to be anxious about?", I just want to scream!

I've come up with one way of explaining them to people, and maybe one of you can use this advice some day:

Everybody that I've ever known has had an anxiety attack at least once in their lives. It could be on an airplane, stuck in an elevator, a dentist's chair, or any number of things. I tell them to imagine how they felt at that time, then magnify it by 100x, and that's how it feels to be me.

Thanks for listening,
Dreamflyer
I get it. My first panic attack was surreal. Not only the emotional and psychological distress, but the literal physical suffering and pain surprised the hell out of me; it still baffles me how I pulled off surviving the ordeal. I've had several since but have somehow been able to barely cope and sort of talk myself out of completely freaking out.

That first one, though, was the worst and most unforgettable. It was so bad I walked to the hospital because I thought I nearly had a heart attack and was surely close to dying. Of course by the time I got there I had mostly settled down. The docs asked the normal 20 questions and as soon as I admitted to sometimes smoking weed, they immediately changed their tone and said, "Well there's your problem. Stop smoking weed!" Then kicked my ass out the ER. What a load of horseshit.
 
"Don't be weak it's all in your head mannnnnnnn..." You're not having a panic seizure so obviously it can't be that bad, right?

I've had panic attacks for years, I still don't understand them, and they like it that way.

Sooner or later a lot of these people mouth off to the wrong person about pain or panic issues and get what they deserve. Not a lot of comfort in that thought but it helps a little (for me).

Rooting for ya.
 
I had my first full-blown panic attack on Christmas morning when I was 6 years old when my excitement turned into anxiety. I'm almost 52 now, and I've suffered from them ever since. I'm not asking for advice on therapy or medication because I've tried just about everything over the last 45 years and I still live in fear of them. My problem is this:

Some people just think that I'm being a crybaby, exaggerating, weak-minded or looking for attention. When people say things like, "Oh, just get over it." or, "What do YOU have to be anxious about?", I just want to scream!

I've come up with one way of explaining them to people, and maybe one of you can use this advice some day:

Everybody that I've ever known has had an anxiety attack at least once in their lives. It could be on an airplane, stuck in an elevator, a dentist's chair, or any number of things. I tell them to imagine how they felt at that time, then magnify it by 100x, and that's how it feels to be me.

Thanks for listening,
Dreamflyer
I’m sorry for what you have to cope with. Yeah ppl don’t understand unless they’ve had it often times just like with addiction.

“why can’t you just quit” “if you loved me you wouldn’t have relapsed” etc.

I can only imagine how terrible panic attacks must be. I’ve known ppl who feel like they can’t breath and we’re hyperventilating.

How do you cope with your attacks? I’m just wondering. I can’t give advice because I’ve never had them.
 
I get it. My first panic attack was surreal. Not only the emotional and psychological distress, but the literal physical suffering and pain surprised the hell out of me; it still baffles me how I pulled off surviving the ordeal. I've had several since but have somehow been able to barely cope and sort of talk myself out of completely freaking out.

That first one, though, was the worst and most unforgettable. It was so bad I walked to the hospital because I thought I nearly had a heart attack and was surely close to dying. Of course by the time I got there I had mostly settled down. The docs asked the normal 20 questions and as soon as I admitted to sometimes smoking weed, they immediately changed their tone and said, "Well there's your problem. Stop smoking weed!" Then kicked my ass out the ER. What a load of horseshit.

Did you find you where treated differently for anxiety then you where for a physical problem? When i was at the ER last i was only in for anxiety and possible heart problems (that's what the paramedics wrote down that i had anyway) and when they discharged me they wouldnt let me use a phone there and i ended up being escorted out by no less then 5 security guards.
 
Did you find you where treated differently for anxiety then you where for a physical problem? When i was at the ER last i was only in for anxiety and possible heart problems (that's what the paramedics wrote down that i had anyway) and when they discharged me they wouldnt let me use a phone there and i ended up being escorted out by no less then 5 security guards.
That’s messed up…
 
Did you find you where treated differently for anxiety then you where for a physical problem? When i was at the ER last i was only in for anxiety and possible heart problems (that's what the paramedics wrote down that i had anyway) and when they discharged me they wouldnt let me use a phone there and i ended up being escorted out by no less then 5 security guards.
Well it was my first panic attack and the only time I ever went to the ER for one. No one at the hospital even mentioned the word "anxiety" and the thought never crossed my mind. Even to this day, I've never had anxiety be part of a diagnosis. Shit, I've been labeled Major Depressive, MDD with psychosis, Bipolar, Schizophrenia, Schizoaffective with Bipolar.... all that but never anxiety. Anyways, for the physical part, they did blood labs and that's what told them I didn't have a heart attack. I guess some chemicals are released when you have a heart attack, still don't know how that works.

Anyways, I wasn't in the ER for very long because once I told them I smoked weed, they pretty much shut me down and stopped any and all treatment.
 
I had my first full-blown panic attack on Christmas morning when I was 6 years old when my excitement turned into anxiety. I'm almost 52 now, and I've suffered from them ever since. I'm not asking for advice on therapy or medication because I've tried just about everything over the last 45 years and I still live in fear of them. My problem is this:

Some people just think that I'm being a crybaby, exaggerating, weak-minded or looking for attention. When people say things like, "Oh, just get over it." or, "What do YOU have to be anxious about?", I just want to scream!

I've come up with one way of explaining them to people, and maybe one of you can use this advice some day:

Everybody that I've ever known has had an anxiety attack at least once in their lives. It could be on an airplane, stuck in an elevator, a dentist's chair, or any number of things. I tell them to imagine how they felt at that time, then magnify it by 100x, and that's how it feels to be me.

Thanks for listening,
Dreamflyer
It’s so frustrating hearing someone’s dismissal for a mental disorder. Hearing someone say that everyone has anxiety is basically saying your weeker then the rest since your not overcoming some of the stress that comes along with anxiety DISORDER. I now try and explain that yes everyone has anxiety and experiences it often but they overlook or overcome it meanwhile if it’s in disorder then it’s great enough and all around just terrible scenarios rapidly repeating in my head causes avoidance even if it’s important tasks.
 
I've had this as well. I think honestly I have only had a couple of panic attacks. I remember the first one because everything felt completely surreal and my ears were ringing, which was very different to anything else I experienced. I saw one of the guys from a YouTube channel I used to watch, Smosh (Anthony Padilla) do a video talking about his severe panic attacks and doing a video emulating one. I don't suggest watching that part of it but he gives a trigger warning for when that part starts for people to avoid it.

I'm sorry that people think you're exaggerating it or making it up. I have really severe dissociation and I have what people used to think we're panic attacks but what a social worker actually recognised as being shame attacks caused by childhood trauma where I feel like I'm suffocating, but I get PTSD symptoms with it rather than panic disorder symptoms.

I know this sounds super trite, but I've found guided (specifically *guided*) meditation really really helps with my anxiety, and dissociative symptoms. My therapist recorded a couple of versions of this cool space guided meditation/interactive story me and him do every week when he comes over because I fuckin love space and it calms me down heaps, and I listen to it whenever I start freaking out or when I go to sleep and it's made my sleep much more restful. It's super cool. I actually gave a copy to one of the other staff members because I thought he would like it and he doesn't like space as much as me but from what he said he thinks it's nice to listen to sometimes too, just not as much as I do lol.

But yeah. The Headspace app has a lot of good guided meditation, unfortunately you have to pay for a lot of them, and they also have sleepscapes which are honestly the same as the guided meditation my therapist does more or less, slightly different. I really recommend getting that if you'd be willing to try it. I do not recommend doing unguided meditation if you have anxiety as bad as you do, but doing a guided meditation with a theme that you enjoy like me with the space one can be really good. I like going to the Japanese gardens near where I live, sitting next to the zen garden that they have there, putting my headphones on and listening to my space meditation there for an hour or two when I feel super stressed and nothing else is working cause the zen garden is a really safe place to be cause no one sketchy goes there and it's always quiet.

I hope some of this helps. I know you've probably had people suggest meditation (if I had a dollar for every time someone told me to do it I'd be the richest man in the world) but honestly if you find one with a story you *like* (and honestly if you're into space I can send you mine too, I consider it open source material) it's not so bad. I never had any success just sitting there trying to do it.

Another thing that worked for me was having scheduled 'worry time' later in the day so whenever I would get highly anxious about something I would go 'is this something I *need* to worry about now and is it urgent or can I worry about it at 7pm when I sit in my beanbag for 15 min?' I know, it sounds like a horrible idea and unpleasant. But honestly what happened was that the things that *were* important, I dealt with when they arose. And the things that weren't but I was anxious about anyway (and I am a very, very anxious person like if I say the wrong word to someone I'll not sleep that night if I don't do this and sometimes it happens anyway, I just don't have panic attacks constantly thankfully, but what would happen was that by the time 7pm came along I forgot a lot of what I was worried about.

I can't do much about helping with the panic attacks. Mostly that does require medication, which I hope you have access to. But in terms of reducing the other anxiety which you would have accompanying it, that is my advice.

Also, this may sound dumb but I have a soft toy my exchange mum got me when I was 17 from Germany when I was there. It's called a Sorgenfresser and that means 'worry eater' if you google that, you'll see what they look like but basically you can write down what you're worried about, and you fold that up and zip it up in their mouth and they eat it. It's designed for kids but idk I still do it and I actually use it as a way to communicate with my therapist stuff I'm too anxious to talk about verbally cause I'm worried it'll cause me to have an anxiety attack or shame attack but want him to know so I write it down and put it in there.

Hope this helps and sorry people have been bad to you about this.
 
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