PAWS and mental illness

[chemctrl]

Hey TDS, I thought I'd ask some advice while I was clear-headed enough to do so. A little background, I'm diagnosed BP-II with a cluster b type personality disorder. I've spent the last ten years self-medicating, and recently kicked a year long heroin habit (the previous 9 years spent on other opioids). I'm around 30 days clean now, and I'm telling you, it's fuckin rough. I feel suicidal on a daily basis, I even went so far as to self harm the other day which I haven't done in forever. Is this my underlying mental health resurfacing? Is it being augmented by PAWS? What, specifically, can be done about it? I'm so tired of barely hanging on. I almost called 911 on myself last week, and I'm afraid of what might happen, at least right now I am. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Edit: I feel it's important to note the diagnoses are from before I had substantial substance abuse issues.

 

[Mafioso]

Do you take any medication for BP-II?

I would think that the PAWs are going to definitely makes things more difficult for you. Idk what would help with your specific condition, but I know that getting good nutrition and daily exercise probably won't hurt. Creative or expressive activities like writing, painting, or playing music might be therapeutic.

Do you see a therapist or counselor? I would think getting treatment for BP-II would be essential to getting better.

 

[herbavore]

Do you see a therapist or counselor? I would think getting treatment for BP-II would be essential to getting better.

Yes, if you have access to counseling now would be a good time to start a relationship to talk about strategies for not only getting through PAWS but also dealing with whatever are the most difficult of the BDD symptoms (I'm not very familiar with it). One thing I would suggest is to try not to see yourself through the lens of your diagnosis. A diagnosis can be empowering if it explains something to you that helps you understand your brain and your way of perceiving things, But nothing is set in concrete--the brain is very malleable and open to new ways of processing at any age. So concentrate on the symptoms or the behaviors and decide what strategies will work for you for managing them.

Congratulations on all the hard work you must have already put into your recovery. Try not to get discouraged. You are doing a heroic thing--nothing less. You are in the fire right now but there is another side. This is definitely one of those times when taking life one minute/hour/day at a time is a very sane way to do it.

 

[chemctrl]

Greetings from the hospital! I ended up being admitted under the Baker Act (floridas mental health act) and am currently still on the medical floor due to raised liver enzymes - found out this morning i managed to contract hepatitis c. So, between getting back on meds, them helping me get back into therapy, and finding the hep, i would say overall i made a good decision calling someone. Sure as hell beats where i was a few weeks ago, homeless not even knowing i was sick. Thanks for the advice guys, theyll be taking me to the psych unit soon so no phone, but ill be back!

 

[herbavore]

Awww, good luck, chemctri--I'm going to agree with you here that it was a good decision for now. Stay strong and take good care of yourself--hope you will post back here soon.

 

[chemctrl]

For some reason I can't quote! Anyway, I made it home. herbavore, I just wanted to say thank you for the insight, and for the kind words. It's definitely a struggle but I feel like I'm on the right path. I'm now back on my medications, and I'm working on getting back into therapy..unfortunately, the hepatitis will have to wait for now.