Paternal Rights and Child Support help needed

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xxxFRIARxxx

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 17, 2002
Messages
235
Ok, I'm in kind of a predicament here with my girlfriend and my unborn child...

My girlfriend is 7 months pregnant. She and I have been in a dispute as of late. Things have turned a little sour. She's arguing with me about money money money, ect, and to be honest, I wouldn't want to be with her if she's like this for the reset of our relationship (including after pregnancy). Now, I know that women get moody during pregnancy, but this is just out of control. She uses the fact that she's pregnant to trounce all over my emotions.

Anyways, my question:

If I don't sign a Recognition of Parentage, do I have to pay child support? If I do NOT have to pay, is there a way that she can take me to court to determine that I am indeed the parent, and make me pay that way? (although I'd probably never see her again)

I could use any help given to me by anyone on here with any knowledge about child support, or parental rights.

Thank you in advance,
Friar
 
If you don't recognize the child and you don't sign his birth certificate then she can go to the state and they will order a paternity test. Then the state will set child support based on both of your incomes. If she can afford her own lawyer she could go after more child support then what the state would go for and she can also keep the door open for a future child support increase (like if you got a great job).

If you don't have a job or you work under the table and don't report your income she can still collect from the state. This is called AFDC (or something like that) and the govt or IRS will eventually find you and order to pay anything she recieves from the state back to them. I have seen men go to jail 18 years after the fact because their ex recieved state money for years for support because the father couldnt be found. So leaving and avoiding her situation is certainly not to your advantage.

Also, my ex and i broke up when our twins were 4. I never wanted anything from him, i felt if he didn't want to be part of our children's lives then fuck him. I don't want his money either.He gets no credit for raising our children. When my husband adopted my twins last year i had to sign a paper from the state of Florida saying that i am releasing claim to any back child support for the past 9 years that i was entitled to. There was nothing in our divorce about child support and i made it clear then that i would retain full custody and he got out scot free. I was quite surprised that the state was telling me despite the fact we agreed to no child support i still was entitled to it and it would be retroactive. I am sure my ex was stressing quite hard that i might not sign those papers. He would owe me a whooper of an amount by now and i would be driving a new car that was paid off for.

So yeah, you can run but you can't hide.
 
I'm not thinking of running, OR hiding.

I'm just dreading the fact that I either:

Lose my child or,

Lose my money.

Both of which, make my life hard to live without.
 
Well then you have rights too to your child and you SHOULD assert them to their fullest. A child should grow up knowing and with both parents having shared custody.
As a newborn that might only be a few hours a week but at a year you can have him for weekends and a day during a week. (standard visitation in most states). I think it's at the age of three when you can get him for the entire summer and a few extended weeks during the year. Equal rights for fathers has come along way and you shouldn't be afraid of insisting that you have yours. Judges look very favorably on fathers who want to be involved.

However, women do become very, very emotional when they are pregnant. I don't know how old you are but i was 18 and my ex was 20 when we had our twins. Just feeling so young and having this huge responsibility made me nuts when i was pregnant. When something isn't planned and it's forced upon two people to deal with and youre in a relationship that would of probably have already ended had it not been for the pregnacy it just adds to the stress and that craziness. When pregnant women feel insecure there is no rationalizing with them.

In my case my ex and i broke up when i was 9, yes 9, months pregnant. The next 14 months was pure hell for us both and it was easier to get back together then it was to stay apart. We got married and we did have some happy years before our divorce in my early twenties (his mid).

I'm all about happy endings though and i wish you the best outcome for all.
 
Child support laws vary from state to state.

If a DNA test is conducted, you will most likely be forced to cover the cost, if the child is yours. DNA tests generally cost about $750.00.
 
I feel for ya man...
my gf is due in september...

and all of a sudden im supposed to be buying houses and shit.. .. (wheras she has had warrants (traffic violations) since november and still hasnt bothered to get them taken care of.. and she calls me irresponsible.

=)

anyways... as above.. you dont have to stay together because of a kid.. things just dont work out in the long run when you try to do that.. but regardless of your decision, be a part of the kid's life. you did help make it afterall..
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No matter what, you are responsible for paying child support. You know that this is your baby! What are you talking about not owning up to that? Be a man!
I can tell you that if you deny the child being yours, its simple for her to get a paternity test done... and guess who will have to pay for that?! Oooh yes, YOU!
If you let 2 years go by and NOT pay her support for the child... she can bring that to the courts and you could be ordered to pay back child support on top of the child support that they tell you to pay.
I have a son with a man who for the first 4 years of his life never paid me a dime. I finally took him to court, and not only is he to pay me 110$ a week (straight outta his paycheck by the state... he n ever even sees the money) he was ordered to give me 64$ for each week, of each month, of each year he never paid me child support... In the end he owed me back payment of 13,000$ that he was ordered to pay to me in full by the end of the year! When he failed to do that... the state took away his driver's license... which forced him to pay up considering he's a driver for a living... but now he had to pay for his license to be reinstated! And the fines that went along with having it revoked! If that didn't work, the next step would be to arrest him. They don't take shit when it comes to child support here in Rhode island.

Get yourself together, and take responsibility for the life that you had part in creating...

This will be your financial responsibilty for the next 18* years. Step up to the plate now....
 
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