ThatSpaceyKid
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 10, 2015
- Messages
- 338
I would be lying if I were to say I was okay.... The issues at home are getting much worse. My mental health is suffering.... I am to ... My dad doesnt love me or even give a fuck about me.... For the last 2 months I have noticed a change and a pattern that has always been present... My home is broken.
My dad doesnt even want to spend time with any of us. He spends most of his time in the room alone. He avoids starting a conversation 90% of the time. He yells all the time. He is always giving me dirty looks. When we are together he just looks so mad... He has his jaw grinding so much too. He sighs and breaths fast. He doesnt look me in the eyes. Or even look at me when we talk. He has been silent more recently.
He doesnt acknowledge us much. When were together and I try to speak to him he blows me off, starts arguments, ignores me, or he is on the phone with others. He doesnt talk about me to others. He doesnt try with me. I can feel his anger legitimately at times.
He has become this way towards my brother and my mom as well.... He doesnt want to resolve any thing. He criticizes me and judges me. Lately there has been a shortage on food. As well as toilet paper, etc. Like legit... We barely even eat like we used to. He buys water but doesnt put it in the house where its available. He neglects his house duties... He doesnt answer my calls/text any more. He is always tired and annoyed. He treats us like a burden. He makes plans then cancels often. He is suddenly saying I owe him money when I do not. He shames me alot.
This Thanksgiving is proof enough. . I spent mine in my room alone. Sad. And empty... this whole weekend my dad hasn't even made any attempt...... I feel like I dont matter. I feel like it's all my fault.... Part of it is... I've been using meth again to cope.... I just want my mom and my dad....... I feel inferior and unworthy. I feel unloved and unimportant. I feel empty. I feel like hurting myself. I feel confused. It feels like every thing is wrong. I am having issues with memory especially short term. I constantly am in and out of my room or in and outside. I cant concentrate. I cant focus. I feel a heavy sad feeling all day long. I just sit around any more waiting for them to be my family... But the silence. Just goes on and on. But .... There have been feeble attempts lately from my dad.... But were all so discouraged at the moment....
I dont even wanna go out now. Has he given up on me. Does he have his own problems.... How can I cope.... It hurts....
My dad doesnt even want to spend time with any of us. He spends most of his time in the room alone. He avoids starting a conversation 90% of the time. He yells all the time. He is always giving me dirty looks. When we are together he just looks so mad... He has his jaw grinding so much too. He sighs and breaths fast. He doesnt look me in the eyes. Or even look at me when we talk. He has been silent more recently.
He doesnt acknowledge us much. When were together and I try to speak to him he blows me off, starts arguments, ignores me, or he is on the phone with others. He doesnt talk about me to others. He doesnt try with me. I can feel his anger legitimately at times.
He has become this way towards my brother and my mom as well.... He doesnt want to resolve any thing. He criticizes me and judges me. Lately there has been a shortage on food. As well as toilet paper, etc. Like legit... We barely even eat like we used to. He buys water but doesnt put it in the house where its available. He neglects his house duties... He doesnt answer my calls/text any more. He is always tired and annoyed. He treats us like a burden. He makes plans then cancels often. He is suddenly saying I owe him money when I do not. He shames me alot.
This Thanksgiving is proof enough. . I spent mine in my room alone. Sad. And empty... this whole weekend my dad hasn't even made any attempt...... I feel like I dont matter. I feel like it's all my fault.... Part of it is... I've been using meth again to cope.... I just want my mom and my dad....... I feel inferior and unworthy. I feel unloved and unimportant. I feel empty. I feel like hurting myself. I feel confused. It feels like every thing is wrong. I am having issues with memory especially short term. I constantly am in and out of my room or in and outside. I cant concentrate. I cant focus. I feel a heavy sad feeling all day long. I just sit around any more waiting for them to be my family... But the silence. Just goes on and on. But .... There have been feeble attempts lately from my dad.... But were all so discouraged at the moment....
I dont even wanna go out now. Has he given up on me. Does he have his own problems.... How can I cope.... It hurts....