TDS Oxycodone Addiciton (looking for answers)

[DabKing]

Hey guys, so over the past couple of years, I have been getting more and more familiar with drugs in general, and pretty much know my limits for every drug I have taken. I have however, been taking roxicodone since last year and overall has become my DOC (besides bud, which I have cut down on drastically). Anyways, I started taking it recreationally about a year ago off and on (once or twice on weekends max) and stopped taking it for about 5 months. Recently, around 4 months ago, I started taking around 2-3 30mg roxy's every weekend on each day of the weekend. That was pretty under control and I seemed to not ever have thoughts about it. Now fast forward to now, in the past week or so, I have been taking around 4 30mg roxy's every to every other day. When I do choose not to take it, I have no negative physical/psychological WD but I do think about doing it occasionally throughout the day. I used to not take it and I would get depressed, but I think that had more to do with my personal life at the time. So my question is this, is this a strong addiction? If anyone has any answers or other examples of addiction, that would be greatly appreciated. Thanks and have a good one guys!

 

[Jekyl Anhydride]

At 120 mg of Oxy every day to every other day you are encroaching into physical dependence territory. This is usually the stage where deal-making with one's use becomes prevalent and scenarios like " I'm going to use till next ----day because I can't go through withdrawals right now" become commonplace and reinforces the ever steepening downward spiral. It would seem that deep down you already know this as you exercised caution when starting out with oxy. The thinking about it throughout the day is intensified when your body tells you that more is required and not just your mind leading to bouts of compulsion that are unimaginable to those that have not experienced them as of yet.

I would equate your current situation to that of being at the top of an icy hill and just beginning to traverse downward. It can be very difficult to truly know how far down you will be able to go before turning around is no longer feasible. It is impossible to convey the true hell that awaits when one enters into an opioid addiction. There is no better time than now to clean up and fly right into the new year. Happy Holidays.

 

[TripMcnealy]

Hey DabKing. I really hope you absorb what I'm about to say and don't think I'm being a douche lol, because you are at the doorstep of full blown addiction.

I had several years of responsible oxy use for chronic pain. I used this medication with great stability and a very slow increase of dosage and frequency. I would only use it to feel good maybe twice or three times a week. I would take days off in the beginning and had strict schedules for dosing... in the beginning.

However, this beginning phase (how long the "beginning phase" varies) slowly dissapears and your tolerance/want of the drug will increase. I've noticed, for the most part, that those who use it for pain have a little bit more control early on, than those who use solely to get high.

After a few years my tolerance increased as well as my pain and phyical labor. Once I reached a point, just around where you are now dosage wise, within weeks I was suddenly taking 150 to 180 to 220 to 250 and sometimes more! This was just to get me through the pain during work, not to get high!

My life became a crazy shit storm seemingly over night. A year before, after a double shift, I recounted what I had taken throughout the day and thought "holy shit I took 90 mgs!" 6 months later 90 mgs was a normal amount for the day. 6 months after that 90 mgs was a goal to reach.

Between 2 and 1 1/2 years ago I was at my worst. Every dollar I made dissapeared. I couldn't pay rent. I owed money everywhere. The drugs that I used irregularly and responsibly for fun became daily habits to curb the extra depression, anxiety, and side effects. All day long I was worried about getting or about running out. Severe withdrawals became commonplace. My relationship went to hell. I couldn't believe I turned into a you-know-what. I felt pathetic and powerless and so depressed that I had worked so hard and had nothing.

I made a plan and slowly reduced and got back to a much better place over a very difficult year. Then all of the things from the past blew up in my face and I lost everything and had a nervous breakdown a month ago. Lost my fiance, car, job etc... I took a decent break using kratom, like 3 weeks and had a wake up call.

I'm back on my meds now, but have been using them properly. I'm following my rules of usage and have family members that will hold onto my meds for days I take off because the pain is too much to have any sort of life.

Sorry for babbling but the point is, please heed my warning: this is an extremely hardcore substance to become addicted to. It will eventually get the best of you if you continue in this way. It sounds like you are still in the glory phase of using, but it won't last. All of the happiness oxy is giving you, will be taken back 100 fold. I hope the length of my response shows you how serious I am and how much I want to protect you (or anyone else) the pain and misery that so many of us have gone through.

If you're not using oxy for pain management, I suggest you get off of it entirely. But if you really want to keep oxy in your arsenal of fun (and keep it fun) you need to back off immediately.

I suggest that you take a week off and see where you stand. You may actually get some WD's so be prepared. Afterwards give it some serious thought. If you use other susbtances, have a sort of rotation and always use them on different days by themselves, this way each one stays fresh and fun. Breaks of 2 or more days is imperative for this to work. I wish you the best and hope that you take something from this long ass response lol.

 

[TripMcnealy]

Very good post btw. Hit it on the head Jekyl. It's funny how the whole "hell of opiate addiction can only be understood by those who have been there/are there" is 100% true and is never believed by new users until it is too late.

 

[Jekyl Anhydride]

^
Likewise Trip, at least you wrote a comprehensive post explaining your experience and how you rectified it. My single paragraph was rather lacking for such a serious matter. If there is one thing that everyone with experience across BL agrees on, it's opioids can be one cruel mistress.

 

[cook]

You are definitely going to get physical WDs soon, thats pretty hefty dose even if you dont do it every day. But you will be doing it every day before you know it.

Honeymoon phase might be over as you are posting this, you know that you have a developing problem. Only sound advice I would give is to flush everything down the toilet right now and stop that shit in its tracks. At the very least try to take longer break (like couple weeks to a month) and if you cant stick to it and start making excuses you know that you are deeper in it than you thought. It can be a long process ahead depending on the reasons you are using in the first place, but try to not make excuses that you have it under control when in reality you probably dont. This can speed up things a little.

Best case scenario you are going to lose few years of your life. Worst case you are going to die or have it on your back the rest of your life. If you keep doing it, you will look back at this thread hoping to make wiser decisions while you still could with relative ease. I hope you post back after couple months telling you quit and moved on, that would be the best thing that could happen. Thats what I would have hoped for myself, unfortunately shit tends to go south. Good luck.

 

[TripMcnealy]

Thanks jekyk, it's early for me and I'm still trying to rectify and straighten out completely, so everything is super fresh in my mind and the long posts are somewhat of a therapy for me. You just said everything withiout you sob story unlike me! haha happy holidays.

 

[antilight9]

Hey DabKing. I really hope you absorb what I'm about to say and don't think I'm being a douche lol, because you are at the doorstep of full blown addiction.

I had several years of responsible oxy use for chronic pain. I used this medication with great stability and a very slow increase of dosage and frequency. I would only use it to feel good maybe twice or three times a week. I would take days off in the beginning and had strict schedules for dosing... in the beginning.

However, this beginning phase (how long the "beginning phase" varies) slowly dissapears and your tolerance/want of the drug will increase. I've noticed, for the most part, that those who use it for pain have a little bit more control early on, than those who use solely to get high.

After a few years my tolerance increased as well as my pain and phyical labor. Once I reached a point, just around where you are now dosage wise, within weeks I was suddenly taking 150 to 180 to 220 to 250 and sometimes more! This was just to get me through the pain during work, not to get high!

My life became a crazy shit storm seemingly over night. A year before, after a double shift, I recounted what I had taken throughout the day and thought "holy shit I took 90 mgs!" 6 months later 90 mgs was a normal amount for the day. 6 months after that 90 mgs was a goal to reach.

Between 2 and 1 1/2 years ago I was at my worst. Every dollar I made dissapeared. I couldn't pay rent. I owed money everywhere. The drugs that I used irregularly and responsibly for fun became daily habits to curb the extra depression, anxiety, and side effects. All day long I was worried about getting or about running out. Severe withdrawals became commonplace. My relationship went to hell. I couldn't believe I turned into a you-know-what. I felt pathetic and powerless and so depressed that I had worked so hard and had nothing.

I made a plan and slowly reduced and got back to a much better place over a very difficult year. Then all of the things from the past blew up in my face and I lost everything and had a nervous breakdown a month ago. Lost my fiance, car, job etc... I took a decent break using kratom, like 3 weeks and had a wake up call.

I'm back on my meds now, but have been using them properly. I'm following my rules of usage and have family members that will hold onto my meds for days I take off because the pain is too much to have any sort of life.

Sorry for babbling but the point is, please heed my warning: this is an extremely hardcore substance to become addicted to. It will eventually get the best of you if you continue in this way. It sounds like you are still in the glory phase of using, but it won't last. All of the happiness oxy is giving you, will be taken back 100 fold. I hope the length of my response shows you how serious I am and how much I want to protect you (or anyone else) the pain and misery that so many of us have gone through.

If you're not using oxy for pain management, I suggest you get off of it entirely. But if you really want to keep oxy in your arsenal of fun (and keep it fun) you need to back off immediately.

I suggest that you take a week off and see where you stand. You may actually get some WD's so be prepared. Afterwards give it some serious thought. If you use other susbtances, have a sort of rotation and always use them on different days by themselves, this way each one stays fresh and fun. Breaks of 2 or more days is imperative for this to work. I wish you the best and hope that you take something from this long ass response lol.

Wow......this is my story almost word for word. The addiction timeline. I would love to know how you are successfully managing your meds, that's my biggest issue right now.