Overdosing and Permanent Hallucinations

[bleeding_lily]

Hey,my name is Asher and I have a few questions that hopefully some of you can help me answer. On february 6th,2015, I overdosed on a combination of 50mg Methadone,75 mg Vyvanse,and 600mg of Benadryll. This was not a suicide attempt,but explaining the reasons behind it happening is a story for another time. Anyways, I almost died, and I was in the hospital for 3 days. I have been hallucinating ever since. I have yet to find an explanation for it. Doctors have told me that they will go away with time,but it has been over a year,and in the past few weeks,they have been getting worse. I havent been using anything other than what Ive been prescribed,and I think my recent changes in meds have caused some of them to be worse. My hallucinations consist of:tracers,shadows(where there shouldnt be)copying outlines,colors(where there shouldnt be)static(this one is constant)patterns,and sometimes when i look at things that are patterned,they appear to start moving in a wave like motion,such as tiled floors and walls.A few doctors have told me that I probably have holes in my brain(the overdose was not the first time,i had an addictive history with other things before that),but finding out if i do or not would be expensive. No change or amount in meds has ever helped make my hallucinations any less vivid or slowed them down in any way. Ive tried looking online but nothing seems to answer my questions as to why this is happening. I have met a few others who have this problem,but from different drugs. Any advice?

 

[sekio]

You don't have holes in your brain, I'll tell you that much. If anything, I'd say it's caused by too much brain connectivity in the visual cortex, rather than destruction of cells or "damage".

What you're experiencing is known as Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder. All of the symptoms you report are actually normal experiences even for sober people, because the human visual system is actually quite a noisy and complicated system. It just so happens that when some people take hallucinogens that magnify the visual distortions then they fixate on it as a sign of damage and it causes them anxiety.

The best treatment is learning to ignore it, as silly as that sounds, it gets better with time as your brain returns to its natural equilibrium. There aren't really any drugs to treat it... some people report success with anti-anxiety treatments but they're not sustainable in the long term.

The most important thing is to realize that all these illusions occur in healthy people who've never done drugs; they just may not be aware of it nor do they focus on things like floaters, "halos", or visual noise.

 

[bleeding_lily]

Thank you for your reply I have actually read up on HPPD before,but then was told by some psychiatrists that it was complete bullshit and didnt actually exist,si I was clearly dumbfounded,because I had believed that I had found an answer for awhile. I have learned to ignore it up until recently when they started getting worse and more vivid,and I think that is due to stress. Im still trying,but its starting to concern me because they have started getting so complex and in the way of things that theyve given me this "dizzy" feeling in my head that I havent had since I overdosed. I say "dizzy" because I dont know how else to describe it,but its definitely an unsual and unsettling feeling. I believe that there are no medications that will help, but I was hoping there would be.

 

[ebola?]

My hallucinations consist of:tracers,shadows(where there shouldnt be)copying outlines,colors(where there shouldnt be)static(this one is constant)patterns,and sometimes when i look at things that are patterned,they appear to start moving in a wave like motion,such as tiled floors and walls.

I have experienced most of these 'symptoms' since when I was drug-naive (granted, I'm not sure what you mean by shadows "where they shouldn't be"). Human visual processing is inherently 'noisy', the whole system geared to enhance contrast under conditions of noisy input lacking easily extracted definitive information. Intense drug experiences can lead us to focus on the shortcomings of this system and the artifacts it produces.

ebola

 

[IbizaJoe]

My hallucinations consist of:tracers,shadows(where there shouldnt be)copying outlines,colors(where there shouldnt be)static(this one is constant)patterns,and sometimes when i look at things that are patterned,they appear to start moving in a wave like motion,such as tiled floors and walls

Hello Asher

Some of these hallucinations seem very familiar to me, especially things that are patterned, they move in wave like motions for me too. "Bubbling water" is a more definite term.

I abused lots of LSD Summer-Autumn of 2014. Then I started abusing MDMA & Amphetamine late 2014 and early 2015. I haven't used hard drugs since February and quit all drugs, including caffeine and nicotine in March. I have been sober 8 weeks now and I still have this HPPD going on. Tapestry on the walls "melting" and "bubbling", patterns moving up and down in wave like motion. They remind me of LSD visuals, but I personally believe that MDMA doses that I took ( they were neurotoxic ) were probably responsible for triggering them. The weird thing is that cannabis or thc would trigger these episodes to a very vivid manner. If I would smoke a joint now the visuals would be comparable to a low dose of LSD, because the visuals get very intense after I smoked cannabis.

I personally believe these hallucinations have to do with serotonin levels. I hope time will heal yours and mine case.

 

[bleeding_lily]

Hello Asher

Some of these hallucinations seem very familiar to me, especially things that are patterned, they move in wave like motions for me too. "Bubbling water" is a more definite term.

I abused lots of LSD Summer-Autumn of 2014. Then I started abusing MDMA & Amphetamine late 2014 and early 2015. I haven't used hard drugs since February and quit all drugs, including caffeine and nicotine in March. I have been sober 8 weeks now and I still have this HPPD going on. Tapestry on the walls "melting" and "bubbling", patterns moving up and down in wave like motion. They remind me of LSD visuals, but I personally believe that MDMA doses that I took ( they were neurotoxic ) were probably responsible for triggering them. The weird thing is that cannabis or thc would trigger these episodes to a very vivid manner. If I would smoke a joint now the visuals would be comparable to a low dose of LSD, because the visuals get very intense after I smoked cannabis.

I personally believe these hallucinations have to do with serotonin levels. I hope time will heal yours and mine case.

Hey IbizaJoe,thanks for your reply I can relate with the "melting" of the walls visuals, and I can definitely agree with the part where you said that THC makes the hallucinations more vivid. For me, it doesn't really matter what drug it is that I do,they all seem to make them worse,especially meds like Lunesta,which can cause people without hallucinations to hallucinate if they stay awake while on it. I have smoked weed,drank,done a few pills here and there since then and I can say that out of all of them, alcohol is what makes them the most vivid. I do not have much of an opinion on what exact chemicals or chemical imbalances in the brain cause these, but I do sincerely agree and hope that both of our brains heal with time. (even though quitting everything would be the quickest way to recovery, I simply cannot attempt to do that quite yet,but im proud of you for being so strong and staying clean.)

 

[Thewolfamongstyou]

I believe if you ask me, which you should. We are all suffering and dying in some sense of the word and you be might surprised what the human mind will do as in terms of tricks. I also am a firm believer in trying find resolutions rather than describing the water you are drowning in. You sound like a strong girl who is going to do wonderful things. I am a recovering coke addict and a current alcoholic. I just don't believe that speculating symptoms and discussing drugs all day will resolve anything. I know it's very hard lily trust me. I threw my life away for 6 yrs and have health problems because of it. Just think we can all find ways to get peace and fix our wounded minds and hearts. There comes a time to let go of the past and say that you can handle your own life without the input others. In this we grow and become independent. Your visions may stay with you for life but maybe that makes you special the fact that you can see just that much more than the average bear. Don't be so worried. I can promise you will be okay.

Her: stay safe
Him: always