Other ways to use...

[Trying123]

some of you helped me get through the last detox. And I still see a few names now, remember the ones that did...

So after messing up my life again, I'm ready to get back on Bupe again.. Give real life another shot....
I want to make one thing clear, up front...
I'm no looking for another way to continue using.
I honestly want to get clean again.

I've found the only way " I "can make it thru induction to bupe, is using the Bernese method...
Or my version of it...
I start taking tiny amounts of bupe, at a time.
let my body get used to the bupes...

For some reason...
It takes about 4 hours for the meds to start working, before the precipitated withdrawals kick in...
I start with about .5 mg, let that hit my system, then use small amounts of fentanyl, to knock the edge off the PW... give my system a few hour break, before stepping up the next dose a little....

I'm extremely careful not to use too much, and end up OD'ing.
I've been thru this enough times, so I know what my limits are.
I won't push the boundaries or take crazy amounts of anything..
It is, what it is..
I know I'm gonna feel something.
I only use to knock the edge off a little...

Usually, after a week or 2, Once I reach about 16mg of bupe per day.., I can stop using Fent, and anything else.
Ativan, gabepentin,..etc...

I've made it through several times.
Only to screw up, by hanging around with the wrong people.
Now, I think I've finally learned, and put enough distance between all the old triggers, I'm ready to do this again.

I have everything I need, and set up the next few weeks, so I have minimal responsibilities. I can take a day off, get away, or bury myself in work..
Do whatever it takes...

The problem I have now, is my lungs...
I've done so much damage over the years, I'm finally feeling the effects, and paying the price.
I'm down to 2 or 3 cigs a day...
Really trying to stop cigarettes completely.

But, as I said above, I have to use a little Fent, to knock the edge off the PW, just until my body adjusts to the bupes.

It's to the point where everytime I try to snort a little D, I have trouble breathing, and it's scaring the hell out of me.
I've tapered down to 1 or 2 dimes a day.
Getting ready to change to the bupes.

Got to the point where I take 2 puffs off a cig, and throw the rest out.

I need to use a little D, just for the next week or 2, but I can't snort anymore.
Is there any other way I can get this in me, while I name it thru induction to bupes ???

I'm done with needles..
Been over 5 years since I shot anything, and I couldn't even poke myself, the last time I tried...
Over 4 years ago...
Once the point touches my skin, I stop..
I just can't do it again.
And, I don't want to.
I'll never poke myself again.

As I mentioned above, I've been tapering off the D... just using tiny bits at a time, pushing it as long as I can, until I need a little more....

this morning, I woke up at 4am....
Sick, cold sweats and shaking..
Laid out about a $2 line, and went back to bed...
Expecting to fall asleep, be good til I had to get up...
The withdrawals started going away, then all of a sudden, I had this attack, where I couldn't breathe..
I couldn't catch my breath....
Air would go in and out, but it felt like it wasn't getting into my lungs, or my blood...
I couldn't take deep or normal breathes..
I stood at the front door, out in the cold, as it helped a little, but had to call 911....
I felt like I was passing out.

thank God I didn't NEED them...
Because now, when we call 911, we get a call center, not our local emergency crews, or the police.
The guy barley spoke English.
the second he answered, I was able to give him my full name, age, address, spelling the street, and tell him I was having trouble breathing....
I couldn't tell you what he was saying, because I was too busy trying to breathe.

But, 5 minutes later, I hear him say ok, I have you one the line with your local fire department.

And hear this lady say hello...Chicago Fire Dept...

I F***ING screamed I'm not in Chicago, I'm in ...such n such... Suburb, you F***ING A**hole.....

The lady from Chicago hangs up, and guy says one minute please, I'll connect you..... I hear jazz music again, as I'm on hold...
WTF is going on..
Am I having a nightmare ?...
Am I having an Acid flashback, which I've never had before....??? Even after all the acid I took..

Finally... I hear my local fire department on the phone, asking what the problem was....
As the guy gave her my wrong address...
By that time.....
I think I was so pissed off, the adrenaline flowing thru my veins, must have helped me breathe again...
I told her I'm ok now.. I must have had a panic attack.
So I had to say yes. I'm declining the call....

I got to lay down, fall asleep for a few hours, before waking up, and feeling completely out of it...
Spend 30 minutes, snorting $2 or $3 worth of D, to get me thru the morning...

I looked at my phone...
I called 911 at 4:12am....
The call lasted over 17 minutes....
And no one even got dispatched to my home yet.... I don't even think they knew where I was...
What my correct address was.

After going thru that nightmare...
I'll never call 911 again....
I'll pull put my 6.8 SPC, and empty a 30 round mag in the ground.....
Hopefully have enough energy to toss it under my couch, and lock my front door, before anyone sees it.
I'll Lay on my front porch until help arrives...
I don't need to worry about my dog attacking the police or paramedics, as they try to help me, or a cop wondering in my house, looking for a gun...

I heard the shots, looked out front, and must have had a panic attack....
I have no idea where they came from, or who's shooting...
Just help me breathe.....

I don't know what happened... just help me...

I live in a decent area, just your average crime, but not far from the crazy parts of the city, and the real war zone. Atleast I can walk outside in the middle of the night, without a single worry...
Most of the time anyways...
The Bad stuff has been everywhere lately..
And, obviously, I can't count on the police getting here in time to save me from anyone....

Why don't we hear about the 911 service being out sourced on our local news..
Or it taking almost 20 minutes, before a police or fireman are even dispatched to someone in need... even when I'm 10 minutes from the 3rd largest city in the US.... Live in a mid sized suburban town, where they pull the covers over your eyes, and tell you there's no crime in your area, so your property taxes were raised 400% this year.
This whole world has become a terrible B rated, bottom tier movie lately....
The kind of movie where some unknown actor actually pays to be the lead character of the film.

Ok...
Enough ranting...
I have to calm down, before I can't breathe again..
Yes, I still want to get clean, so I can move the hell away from this insane city, and enjoy whatever time is left on this well abused body..

How can I get the D in me, without snorting, or ever touching a needle again ???
Please help.....

I want to get this over with, so I can go check myself into a hospital, make sure there's nothing seriously wrong with my heart or anything.
I can't go in with a giant gorilla in my back.
But, I can walk in, give them my doctor, who has me in bupes... and not worry about getting dope sick if anything is really wrong....

Please understand, I'm only asking to help me quit.
I'm not trying to continue down a different path.
Thanks !

 

[Trying123]

Ok, 8 hours in ER.. no answers, atleast from them.
I've found that shortness of breathe,, kind of like hyperventilating, is caused by the drug I snort.
Fentanyl, but nobody knows what it's cut with....

Now, I'm in a scary position.
My detox Dr appt, has been moved to this Wed. So, earliest I can start bupe, is 6 days from now.
I hope to find a different dealer, so the drugs don't send me to ER everytime I take them.

I've dropped my usage. As low as possible.
Only snort a tiny bit, at a time.
It still affects my breathing, but, I can keep control of it.

I can't believe I'm in this situation.
But, I've been around long enough, to where I should have seen it coming.
I know I destroyed my body.
It's just finally to a point where it affects my daily health.
Affects how I breathe, and how far n fast, I can walk.

ER sent me for a heart stress test..
52 yrs old. Wanted me to reach 140 to 160 beats per minute, on treadmill.


I only lasted like 4 minutes on treadmill, at an, average walk, and only reached 80 bpm, with my heart, when I had to stop.
I couldn't breathe anymore.

I know I'm out of shape...
But WTF... did I do to myself ?


I work construction all day, and have noticed a terrible decline in my health,....
But to feel like I'm ready to die ???

I guarentee you, I couldn't even feel safe, if my girl n I started getting a little heated, started having fun...
Id barley get my clothes off, and I'd be asking for oxygen.

Has anyone dealt with the drugs, or cut, affecting their breathing ?
Is the a chance my lungs and body can recuperate, repair themselves a little ?

man..
What a guilt trip.
I knew I was getting too old for playing games, kind of seen this coming..
And, I didn't stop using drugs...

Now,...
All I can do is get myself clean, asap, start taking care of myself
Pray. I can still get out on a boat, and fish, 10 hours straight.
Or, pray I can take the dog for a walk around my block, without passing out.

Come on..
Someone help...
Please let me know if my body could Repair itself, or what I can do, to help gain lung function again.

I know your not doctors, but, someone had to go through this themselves ...
What did you do ?
how can I train my lungs again. ?

 

[thatmf]

Ok, 8 hours in ER.. no answers, atleast from them.
I've found that shortness of breathe,, kind of like hyperventilating, is caused by the drug I snort.
Fentanyl, but nobody knows what it's cut with....

Now, I'm in a scary position.
My detox Dr appt, has been moved to this Wed. So, earliest I can start bupe, is 6 days from now.
I hope to find a different dealer, so the drugs don't send me to ER everytime I take them.

I've dropped my usage. As low as possible.
Only snort a tiny bit, at a time.
It still affects my breathing, but, I can keep control of it.

I can't believe I'm in this situation.
But, I've been around long enough, to where I should have seen it coming.
I know I destroyed my body.
It's just finally to a point where it affects my daily health.
Affects how I breathe, and how far n fast, I can walk.

ER sent me for a heart stress test..
52 yrs old. Wanted me to reach 140 to 160 beats per minute, on treadmill.


I only lasted like 4 minutes on treadmill, at an, average walk, and only reached 80 bpm, with my heart, when I had to stop.
I couldn't breathe anymore.

I know I'm out of shape...
But WTF... did I do to myself ?


I work construction all day, and have noticed a terrible decline in my health,....
But to feel like I'm ready to die ???

I guarentee you, I couldn't even feel safe, if my girl n I started getting a little heated, started having fun...
Id barley get my clothes off, and I'd be asking for oxygen.

Has anyone dealt with the drugs, or cut, affecting their breathing ?
Is the a chance my lungs and body can recuperate, repair themselves a little ?

man..
What a guilt trip.
I knew I was getting too old for playing games, kind of seen this coming..
And, I didn't stop using drugs...

Now,...
All I can do is get myself clean, asap, start taking care of myself
Pray. I can still get out on a boat, and fish, 10 hours straight.
Or, pray I can take the dog for a walk around my block, without passing out.

Come on..
Someone help...
Please let me know if my body could Repair itself, or what I can do, to help gain lung function again.

I know your not doctors, but, someone had to go through this themselves ...
What did you do ?
how can I train my lungs again. ?

My lungs were fucked from smoking meth. After some abstinance they were good again. Maybe you're ingesting enough to go into respiratory depression and your lungs are working less in that state. Just a theory. So they're used to not having to do much work. Hopefully detox Dr will help you. Who knows what my meth was cut with but I did have trouble breathing properly a few times. Isopropylbenzylamine comes to mind. Anyway, try to stay positive and present. I think you still have a good chance at detox and giving it all up. It's always darkest before dawn.

Keep us posted

 

[Eryximachus]

Come on..
Someone help...
Please let me know if my body could Repair itself, or what I can do, to help gain lung function again.

I don't think anyone here can give you a certain answer. But if this is your first health scare, I hope it knocks some sense into you. The whole problem with drugs is you get better, then think it is OK to start using again.

Just stay clean, join AA/NA, and rebuild your life as best as you can. You're 52 man. I quit hard drugs at 44, and I'm afraid. You can't be fucking around anymore. I would recommend walking 1 hour a day. Work up to it.