Opioids Opiates, withdrawal, tolerance, help.

[Axolotln]

I am not sure what I am doing, besides going mad. I do not know how to proceed or what I really want, besides the drugs to work again. Any experience, wisdom, advice or opinion welcomed and appreciated, thank you.

Is it safe to binge drink after 6 months sober while now in withdrawals from using opiates almost daily for a year and a half? Do I just go back to using and use more to cover the tolerance until I die? get over this ‘life might be worth it’ crap? Just mix it all again? Any advise on doses with mixing? Or how long I’d have to be clean to feel opiates work again? I’d prefer to be cute with my doses again, but I guess drugs make us gnarly quicker than a fix feels worth it.

Me: middle aged, average weight and height, on my own in life. I am in withdrawals, I am tapering/ stopping opiates by choice because I’ll likely live longer than any supply will last. I didn’t care about this before but I am starting to now. History of suicidal ideation and risky behaviour.

History: I’ve used various mostly prescription opiates (predominantly Oxycodone, Morphine, Codeine Linctus), some benzos (close to prescribed doses) and drank heavily on and off over the years. Prior to this I decided to stop drinking or using on my own/ no GP and didn’t know about AA/NA etc and did well for a few years, barely drank and didn’t use. I was clinically depressed for a while and had a drink, within a week I began a descent into heavily mixing alcohol, benzos and prescription opioids at increasing levels, nearly died. I decided to stop benzos and booze. I haven’t had a drink in roughly 6 months but I formed an almost daily habit of opiates that had been increasing for the last year and a half. It’s unsustainable and I’m not even getting high, just sick. I like opiates when they work, why do they stop working so soon!?

Present issue: I tried to taper down and completely stop, but I haven’t got to the completely stopped part. I’m now taking oxycodone at a low ~30mg twice a day. I’m really not happy, I want to take all of it, or go buy some smack and probably die; but I also want things to be like they where 3 years ago when I could feel 30mg (or 60mg) oxycodone and not just feel like death no matter what. Will it work again?? I am reducing/ “stopping” with the idea I will use again in the near future and it will feel good again. I also really want to drink a bottle of spirits or two and haven’t done that since I was mixing, prefer not to die at the moment or I wouldn’t be here typing this. I’m not sure if being an alcoholic or junkie is worse, I’m pretty good at both.

 

[plumbus-nine]

Welcome to Bluelight!

There are two pharmaceutical options, unfortunately both require prescription but from what I saw on reports it's not too hard to get. First one is pregabalin, which covers a good part of withdrawal when accurately dosed.
Then we have the NMDA antagonists, memantine and dextromethorphan - the latter is OTC as Robitussin etc. just look for pure DXM w/o other ingredients. You might start with the recommended max dose of 100-120mg and then add more every 30 minutes until your withdrawal is covered.

Drinking, well if you have access to drugs, they tend to be easier on the body than a booze binge. There's pagoclone out there which afaik has been proposed as a better alternative to alcohol.

 

[headfuck123]

Id say stay away from the booze and benzos as you say you have been and seek some 'professional' help for the opiates like a Buprenorphine taper. it wont be easy but will be worth the effort!

 

[GetMeOutOfThisCRAP]

Binge drink? I would say no even if you were at absolutely zero opioid use whatsoever daily now. It'll pass quicker than you think. Its always like an LSD trip gone-wrong.. you just remind yourself over and over that it was temporary until its done with each time. It felt insane to me the time I withdrew from fent pressed pills. Like supernatural level of depression that was not just the brain on zero dopamine and endorphins.. it was more than that.

I don't see what the point of damaging your body more than it is already spiritually damaged lol. Do not take benzos or drink with 30 milligrams daily. There's no telling where the threshold is with even a moderate-low dose of oxy like that. You're better off just paying for what you did to yourself sadly until its over. It will not be that much longer. It feels like an eternity, but like a molly crash you're looking back at the effects--and you're like "oh thats all that was." Except the molly crash reminds you that the molly felt way too good in the time period it was feeling good. It still applies to opiate withdrawal and feeling bad. You'll just look back at the sickness and be like, "oh okay thats gone now."

Even if you feel unbearable and want to off yourself (metaphorically hopefully but sometimes it can be literally suicidal), it sounds like some tolerance lowering is needed regardless. Enduring this can only produce good things even if you remain an addict. Your tolerance is insatiable to keep going on with doses and doses expecting some sort of magical effects to return. You just chase a dead end, so I think every opiate addict needs to endure physical sickness every now and then to avoid the dead end being far too in reach to get "high."

 

[Axolotln]

so I would have to stop oxy all together to go back to drinking again? I’m really tired. I miss booze.