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Open Relationships

Flow

Flow

Bluelighter
Joined
May 7, 2012
Messages
51
I've been thinking about it a lot lately seeing as my life is pretty turbulent and subject to change at this point in time, making it hard for me to commit to someone fully.
Thoughts? Can anyone here draw from personal experience?
 
I've been in open relationships before. This will only work if both of you are mature because jealously cannot be avoided sometimes. When I was in an open relationship there were no expectations so it was fun. The only thing was since you both meet other people it is possible that you find someone else and fall in love with someone else.
 
I am in an open relationship now. Actually, I am married and we have an open marriage. Our rules are honesty, communication and safe sex if we play with someone other than each other. The most important thing is being honest and upfront. I would always tell my husband if I met someone I wanted to sleep with. The same goes for him.

What is interesting is that even though we technically have an open marriage, we don't really take advantage of it. Other than a threesome with a woman I brought into the bedroom and we both had sex with (that was fun!), neither one of us has slept with anyone else yet. I have had guys that are interested but I haven't taken anyone up on the offer and my hubby hasn't tried looking for any other women. I think that just KNOWING that you have the freedom to be with other people if you want to makes monogamy a lot easier. My husband knows he can go to a strip club and I wont get angry. Hell, I'll go with and enjoy a lap dance too! He knows he can meet someone at a swingers club and I'll be okay with it. He has told me that he has no urge to do so though. However, he loves the fact that I am not sexually jealous. I think this is one of the reasons we have such a strong relationship. I haven't known a lot of other couples who were swingers or poly. Of those that I've known though, most seem to have very strong relationships.

As far as just wanting to have an open relationship because you're not ready to commit yet, I don't see the problem at all. I thought that was pretty standard. I know whenever I started dating someone and I wasn't serious yet I would always keep the relationship open. Of course, if you're going to do that then make sure you practice safe sex! Anyway, have fun!
 
I personally couldn't do it cuz I'd get too jealous, but I have a lot of friends who've been in an open relationship at some point in their lives. It's worked for some, it hasn't for others...it really just depends on your personality, that of your partner, and the general circumstances. All I can say is for those that have worked, it was always when there was strictly nothing more than sex happening between either person in the relationship and their other partners. As soon as feelings outside the relationship start to develop, even if it's just friendship, things started to go downhill. That would depend on individual cases of course, but as a general rule I think if you're looking for an open relatiosnhip, you should definitely keep it in mind. But if neither you or your partner get jealous - and I'd also recommend you establish pretty clear guidelines on the 'openness' of the whole thing - then I see no reason why it wouldn't work :)
 
Open relationships and polyamory are both great in theory, but difficult in practice.

Women in particular have a hard time not forming deep feelings for someone who gives them amazing orgasms.
 
Open relationships?

So, has anyone been in one that worked? Now I would really prefer only the type of people who think similarily to me reply as I live a sort of different lifestyle. My wife and I exist within the psychedelic counterculture and operate under the belief we are all one. Now, my relationship with her is much more important to me than anything else... I do not want to accidently loose her or vice versa. We want to be life partners, our plan is to travel the world together here starting in a few months (we have been together for 5 years monogamous) then eventually land at an intentional community.

We are going to set our limits, I mean some people are only open at burning man, for example, others are not with close friends, or only with close friends, etc, etc.
 
Magickduck said:
Open relationships?

So, has anyone been in one that worked? Now I would really prefer only the type of people who think similarily to me reply as I live a sort of different lifestyle. My wife and I exist within the psychedelic counterculture and operate under the belief we are all one. Now, my relationship with her is much more important to me than anything else... I do not want to accidently loose her or vice versa. We want to be life partners, our plan is to travel the world together here starting in a few months (we have been together for 5 years monogamous) then eventually land at an intentional community.

We are going to set our limits, I mean some people are only open at burning man, for example, others are not with close friends, or only with close friends, etc, etc.
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