Hi. I'm a 34 years old gay man with a latino/mediterranean background and I'm sexually obsessed with black men. I don't quite understand why and it became a compulsion. Let me explain: when I was about 17/18 I already knew I was gay and at that point I had not had any sexual experience with men so I'd watch tons of gay porn online.
One day, I accidentally came across a picture of a naked blonde boy with a naked black boy. Something erupted inside me when I saw that and I became incredibly curious of it. Up until that point the idea of having sex with a black guy had never crossed my mind.
A bit of a background on me: The neighbourhood I grew up in didn't have many black people but I honestly never felt any negative feelings towards black people. I would hear stupid racist jokes and not laugh and I was heavily into American R&B and hip-hop. At the time most black people in my country were from poor areas so I think I always associated black people with poverty but I honestly never thought they were "inferior" in any sort of way. I really mean it.
So, after the incident with the picture, I would try to get my hands on any interracial porn I could find and I started to consider finding a black guy online who would be willing to go have sex with me.
I was very nervous about this idea because, historically and amongst our society, a white man having a desire for a masculine black man can be perceived as effeminate, aside from the obvious taboo subject. The desire to allow a masculine black guy to fuck me was arousing and embarrassing, lots of mixed feelings. Eventually I met one guy, I was 20 he was about 34, and he was quite masculine and rugged, no one would say he's gay. I was nervous beyond belief and I barely remember the sex. But yeah, I did feel quite aroused by it. I kept going out with other black guys sporadically throughout the years and in the beginning I would feel very very guilty about it once I got home but, as I was growing older, I became to realize that I had no reason to feel embarrassed because it doesn't make me less of a man so I started to enjoy it more and do it more often.
It's important to note that I would choose guys purely on the basis of physical appearance and masculinity. And I would never meet them for a date or a drink, it was always straight to the bedroom. I never treated them like a piece of meat, I was always very upfront about my intentions and I was just as respectful and friendly as I am with anybody else.
However, in the last 5 years it really developed into an obsession. When I'm horny I simply do not look for white guys, only for black men. I tend to be less picky when it comes to black men: they don't have to be necessarily handsome, they just have to look and sound masculine and, if possible, have a bigger penis than mine. When I have sex with them I do become slightly submissive but not in a humiliating kind of way. I just perceive them as physically and sexually superior than white men, which obviously makes no sense at all but that's how my subconscious works.
It bothers me, this obsession. I would hate to feel that I'm being racist. I do not consider most black guys I meet for a date or anything serious. Not because I think they are "beneath" me but because a lot of them are a bit on the rough side and I don't think we have enough things in common for something serious. I don't think it's something impossible but yeah, never happened.
The craziest part of it? I'm not really a bottom. I used to think I was but I ended up discovering that I don't find any sexual pleasure from bottoming at all. It just hurts, period. So I mostly go out with them for foreplay: oral, kissing, touching, etc. And I end up topping a lot of them, even the ones who claim to be "total tops".
I discovered many amateur videos online of white married couples (heterosexual) who would engage in a very bizarre fantasy: the husband would invite a bunch of rough-looking black guys to gangbang his wife in front of him and record the whole thing. Which leads me to believe that it is somewhat of a common fantasy. I too always wanted to be part of a gangbang with some top black guys but it's not the easiest thing to organize unless you're paying for it and I'm not inclined to do that yet.
Another thing I should say: although the idea of a "rough black thug" is highly arousing to me I only went out with a guy like that once (and it was as hot as you'd think it would be). So I don't expect black guys to behave according to this fetishist stereotype, I've had sex with many different types of black guys. I think I might have a thing for contrasts....different types of people having sex together. I sometimes fantasise about having sex with chubby/overweight black guys or just plain ugly black guys. In fact an average/ugly looking black guy is more of a turn on than a handsome, model-type black guy (of course I would never kick Tyson Beckford from my bed). There are some videos from Dogfart where some pretty blonde white girls are being ravaged by this black guy with a big penis and missing some teeth. So, yet again, that leads me to believe that that is also not an uncommon fantasy.
Any thoughts on this? I will start to see a psychosexual therapist to discuss this, I need to understand this obsession and if it's a good thing or a bad thing. I never go after white guys for casual sex. It has happened but I don't chase white guys online If I see a white guy who's cute and nice and friendly etc. I'd prefer to invite them for a date. I've been single for 3 years now so I've had enough of the single.
PS: I know this might be weird or offensive to some people but please refrain from insulting me. This desire/feeling came in a very organic way and I can assure that I never ever treated any black guy badly or expect them to behave according to "black thug" stereotype. Even though all we're having is casual sex that black guy who's with is a human being who deserve respect and kindness, the same way I expect them to behave with me.
One day, I accidentally came across a picture of a naked blonde boy with a naked black boy. Something erupted inside me when I saw that and I became incredibly curious of it. Up until that point the idea of having sex with a black guy had never crossed my mind.
A bit of a background on me: The neighbourhood I grew up in didn't have many black people but I honestly never felt any negative feelings towards black people. I would hear stupid racist jokes and not laugh and I was heavily into American R&B and hip-hop. At the time most black people in my country were from poor areas so I think I always associated black people with poverty but I honestly never thought they were "inferior" in any sort of way. I really mean it.
So, after the incident with the picture, I would try to get my hands on any interracial porn I could find and I started to consider finding a black guy online who would be willing to go have sex with me.
I was very nervous about this idea because, historically and amongst our society, a white man having a desire for a masculine black man can be perceived as effeminate, aside from the obvious taboo subject. The desire to allow a masculine black guy to fuck me was arousing and embarrassing, lots of mixed feelings. Eventually I met one guy, I was 20 he was about 34, and he was quite masculine and rugged, no one would say he's gay. I was nervous beyond belief and I barely remember the sex. But yeah, I did feel quite aroused by it. I kept going out with other black guys sporadically throughout the years and in the beginning I would feel very very guilty about it once I got home but, as I was growing older, I became to realize that I had no reason to feel embarrassed because it doesn't make me less of a man so I started to enjoy it more and do it more often.
It's important to note that I would choose guys purely on the basis of physical appearance and masculinity. And I would never meet them for a date or a drink, it was always straight to the bedroom. I never treated them like a piece of meat, I was always very upfront about my intentions and I was just as respectful and friendly as I am with anybody else.
However, in the last 5 years it really developed into an obsession. When I'm horny I simply do not look for white guys, only for black men. I tend to be less picky when it comes to black men: they don't have to be necessarily handsome, they just have to look and sound masculine and, if possible, have a bigger penis than mine. When I have sex with them I do become slightly submissive but not in a humiliating kind of way. I just perceive them as physically and sexually superior than white men, which obviously makes no sense at all but that's how my subconscious works.
It bothers me, this obsession. I would hate to feel that I'm being racist. I do not consider most black guys I meet for a date or anything serious. Not because I think they are "beneath" me but because a lot of them are a bit on the rough side and I don't think we have enough things in common for something serious. I don't think it's something impossible but yeah, never happened.
The craziest part of it? I'm not really a bottom. I used to think I was but I ended up discovering that I don't find any sexual pleasure from bottoming at all. It just hurts, period. So I mostly go out with them for foreplay: oral, kissing, touching, etc. And I end up topping a lot of them, even the ones who claim to be "total tops".
I discovered many amateur videos online of white married couples (heterosexual) who would engage in a very bizarre fantasy: the husband would invite a bunch of rough-looking black guys to gangbang his wife in front of him and record the whole thing. Which leads me to believe that it is somewhat of a common fantasy. I too always wanted to be part of a gangbang with some top black guys but it's not the easiest thing to organize unless you're paying for it and I'm not inclined to do that yet.
Another thing I should say: although the idea of a "rough black thug" is highly arousing to me I only went out with a guy like that once (and it was as hot as you'd think it would be). So I don't expect black guys to behave according to this fetishist stereotype, I've had sex with many different types of black guys. I think I might have a thing for contrasts....different types of people having sex together. I sometimes fantasise about having sex with chubby/overweight black guys or just plain ugly black guys. In fact an average/ugly looking black guy is more of a turn on than a handsome, model-type black guy (of course I would never kick Tyson Beckford from my bed). There are some videos from Dogfart where some pretty blonde white girls are being ravaged by this black guy with a big penis and missing some teeth. So, yet again, that leads me to believe that that is also not an uncommon fantasy.
Any thoughts on this? I will start to see a psychosexual therapist to discuss this, I need to understand this obsession and if it's a good thing or a bad thing. I never go after white guys for casual sex. It has happened but I don't chase white guys online If I see a white guy who's cute and nice and friendly etc. I'd prefer to invite them for a date. I've been single for 3 years now so I've had enough of the single.
PS: I know this might be weird or offensive to some people but please refrain from insulting me. This desire/feeling came in a very organic way and I can assure that I never ever treated any black guy badly or expect them to behave according to "black thug" stereotype. Even though all we're having is casual sex that black guy who's with is a human being who deserve respect and kindness, the same way I expect them to behave with me.