Not Love or Sex, a social "Relationship" question for veteran BL members

[Cogari]

As a recent member who read an interesting thread regarding BL relationships, I noticed something that seems pretty logical to me: long lasting members have been here for years, and understandably have a perception of newer members added to the forum. I understand, not only would a lot of you be wiser and more experienced by virtue of coming here for years or even over a decade, but you have life experience that would on average be greater than that of relative youngsters like me who would take years to have the same "long term member reputation".

What I wanted to ask was, how as a new member can I avoid possible pitfalls, faux pas and the like? What would you personally like to come from a new member to make them a good addition? And even beyond that, what do you think is at the core of this collection of different threads and forums? I came here after a lot of reading and looking in. I want to be here for a long time. And while I am writing and reading on here, I wanted to know, how do older members think is the best way to integrate? Are there areas of the site or particular things that you personally wanted to draw attention to? Any advice about BL that you could give me? I'm a writer personally trying to address his own issues, I'm very much a novice when it comes to drugs and the realm of addiction other than from seeing more than a few addicts as I grew up. I want to learn from the experience of the people here, make a difference, and help combat my own increasing social anxieties by at least having a voice here, writing things that matter. What would a person with years worth of experience suggest?

I know this isn't a laser focused post, but I've been thinking about this for a long time, and I thought it was a question worth asking. If anyone has a response to any of my questions, please respond, and thanks for helping put together a site that just doesn't seem to have a bottom, I am always finding new experiences and information that I couldn't get anywhere else

 

[zephyr]

Greetings.

I just have some general suggestions for you. Take some time to look around the place as there are a lot of different areas people find the place that suits them to be most active in. Have a good read through threads that appeal to you and there are many pages of threads that can show the dynamic between members who have been around a while.

Feel free to join in anywhere with whatever is going on and just be yourself.


Most people here are good eggs and will be reading your posts too. New faces are a curiosity and what brings new life to established places.

People will get to know you and include you. Some might treat you like youre an old mate and just assume you know them well enough to have an in jest dig. Sometimes its all good but sometimes it doesn't go down well .


If you are unsure of things absolutely speak up.

Mods of the forums are there to make the place somewhere thats welcome. You can pm them if you have questions or they will pm you to see how you are going.

Take time to read the various guidelines and use introduction threads too.

Xx

 

[Cogari]

That sounds like fantastic advice, and I appreciate you taking the time out to put it down. I've read the guidelines and introduced myself,getting a good feel for certain threads, and putting in two cents is becoming easier as I get more used to it. I certainly will ask for help if I need it, but I hope it won't be necessary. I can handle banter pretty well I think, and...well time will tell I think. I was just thinking aloud and was curious to get advice, which I'm happy to be receiving. Thank you x