Need Support: Scared its walking pneumonia or something else- Oxy WD

[Nightbird13]

This site has been a source of comfort for me the past month and i'm so grateful to have found it. Short intro- went off heroin 20+ yrs ago, after having severe bad reactions to the scopolamine batch going around my area, surviving that and a bout of walking pneumonia, heart problems, & death of many around me, then found myself seriously traumatized by everything that had happened, started having panic attacks, didn't know what it was, was put on ativan, then klonopin .25mgs, guessing i'm a lifer as the doctor i have now doesn't mention tapering me off like former ones. also acquired hep c then, which im told i don't test positive for any longer. my body cleared it apparently.

This past year, had injuries after a car accident and was prescribed oxycodone 5 mgs., then it ran out, wound up in hospital for major female issues, severe pain, looking at a hysterctomy when i'm ready, but not ready. was prescribed oxy again for pain. i may be delusional, but i feel like i need pain management for all thats going on and its been to the point where doctors started refusing to refill anything beyond ibuprofen. the epidemic of opioid abuse they say, so to hell with anyone who needs maintenance. So around Christmas i start planning, weaning, and decided for a New Years home withdrawal.

I'm on Day 15 and there's no relief. I'm in the clenches all of the same dopesick horrorshow i remember from 20 years ago, but now i'm afraid why hasn't it gone away, al those time back then it was a 5 day deal and better, i just wanted to go back on. Now, i have people i know offering heroin, oxycontin, morphine and methodone for help to get through this, or continue it. which would mean i would need more, and 15 days was wasted. or i'd freaking just die, because i'm terrified to try any of it, knowing now from reading all over here that oxycontin is now extended release and breaking up the pills can kill you. my city has an epidemic of fentanyl cut into heroin and people dropping so much apparently we are one of the number one cities in America with the overdose rate so high because of it. so scared.

Sooo...after much contemplation and analyzing every post on here, i think the prescribed Klonopin is the only thing helping me sleep, taking multi-vitamins, probiotics, gatorade and chicken broth, otherwise i havnt been able to get out of bed in 2 weeks, on top of withdrawal, all my pain is back, in the bones that were broken and bruised, all the pre-existing conditions, amplified, going out of my mind, and want the sickness to stop! but it doesnt feel normal. on top of all the expected dopesick oxy withdrawal, i feel like i got a bad hit all over again, and wonder if my mind is generating it or if i have pneumonia again like when it happened before and thats why i had such an awful life threatening reaction???

I've been taking Imodium AD for the GI issues, and wondering if thats prolonging anything? i dont want to resort to heroin, really. i am considering the oxycontin til i can get to another doctor or a pain management clinic, and just get out of the house without looking crazy dopefiending sick, or the awful smell my teen says is coming from me that reminds her of the sweat of heroin users we know. i feel like the hospital staff will be able to tell? I want to function, get back to my job, i want to continue my life pain free again and i really want this to stop. i know it sucks to say but the oxy gave me energy also and i was able to move and get around without limping or holding my stomach or arm. I'm upset that even the tv show House he was told to get off the Vicodin and deal with the pain. I've been binge watching everything i can and tv is the only distraction. Facebook and happy people i cant even handle, dont want to look at or talk to them during this and cant even concentrate anyway. Typing this has taken forever because of the awful sore eye tearing & sneezing and yawning game, i feel like my eyes are gonna fall out all day long, as well as everything else inside me feels broken or mush.

most importantly i have my older teen child living with me who is extremely supportive while we go through this as a family, but all the other sites i went on looking for answers said detox or rehab and that mean losing custody of child, ...does anyone know this to be true? i personally dont know any friends who are active heroin users who still have their children, only those on prescriptions, and even then i've seen it all go sideways. i pride myself on having good willpower, but i put my life on hold far too long and now i can barely walk to the bathroom or attend stuff i normally would with my teen.

anything anyone can tell me... im desperate for hope.
is any of this normal for oxy withdrawal...???
-erratic rapid weird heartbeat
-pins and needles sensation in face or forehead or extremities
-flushing sensation in face and neck (besides normal hot chills, cold sweats)
-feeling overheated
-general weakness
-odd chemical taste in mouth mostly after sleep (like chromium in vitamins)or aluminum
-drool after sleep that burns, (wondering if this is liver related)
all the other usual withdrawal symptoms i had from heroin are there but these above seem abnormal? or is this oxy?

lastly...should it really still be happening 15 days in??? has anyone had this? did i do/take something wrong? not exercise? anything?
or am i really sick like some other type of endocarditis and need to suck it up and go to the hospital?
and of course my "friend" keeps calling if i want the heroin, like i even would know if its real anymore?! then i keep thinking well then i'll be okay to clean up, get stuff done, make calls, make meals for my kid even though she's capable, i feel so bad she's doing it herself, laugh with her again instead of crying in pain...ugh.

Sorry this is so long, i've been pent up with it all month, thank you for letting me vent. there must be those who have success in functioning on pain meds to overcome their disabilities and maintain a life, i think its a shame that doctors would start me on Oxycodone at all if not to continue it after im clearly on it long enough to be addicted.

 

[T. Calderone]

I'm glad you found Bluelight, Nightbird and would like to give you a warm welcome! You have come so far and I urge you not to give in to your cravings. That person who is calling you may not be such a good friend. One question- How much immodium have you been using? If you are taking it to stave off diarrhea, it's fine to use at recommended doses.

The state of pain management here in the U.S. has gotten absolutely dismal. I think it's terrible that people with genuine pain issues are being made to suffer. Most of the symptoms you've described can be attributed to opiate withdrawal. The drooling thing does seem odd though. If you feel that you may have pneumonia, don't be afraid to go to the hospital. They are not going to smell anything on you and are there to help. Let us know how you're doing.

 

[Legally High]

I would use kratom, pheibut, lyrica, or last but also least gabapentin. In order of preference. All those are easy to obtain. Just remember to taper off those as well. Good luck, it usually takes a month for me to get back on track.

 

[Blueeyes01]

Keep pushing girl. 2 weeks does sound like a long time to still be feeling rough. As you read in my post, I did a quick taper over two weeks and I'm on day two of nothing and it sucks. It's sucked this whole time. Don't give in now. I've done this before and one morning I WILL wake up feeling better and you will too. It sucks being so disgusting and lazy. I hate this. I may try and force myself to walk around the block. I feel like I may pass out from dehydration and not eating for two weeks and I'm sure you feel the same. Guys may not want to read this part ---you've been warned--- but I swear the being dirty and lazy and having my period has fucked me up down there. I think I have like a yeast infection or bacteria infection that I'll need to get looked at. This process is fucking killer on your body!

 

[Nightbird13]

Hey Everyone I'm so sorry too have not checked in sooner, its almost 2 weeks later & yes i can honestly say i woke up today not soaked in icky sweat and not shaking. I've slept ALOT, for like 10 days off and on while my teen daughter made me soup and we binged alot of netflix. Finally got to see what the hype was about Stranger Things, aka NOSTALGIA! lol. she has been an amazing help, and im alone for the first time for lengthy periods this weekend while she's been out, just taking my regular beta-blockers, anxiety meds and feeling worn out & but more stable.

I'm very thankful for the replies here have thought of you all and sent prayers/juju/mojo.

I DO still firmly believe my body and immune system is shot, and there may be other illnesses at play, so im promising myself to schedule some doctor appointments as of monday for some sort of other pain management and well checks, as every other pre-existing pain is still prevalent, but im sooo glad i didnt give in and go to the ER.

for me being in my 40's, i think pre-menopause & hep c maybe could be attributing to the lethargy and hot flashes now, and maybe why its taken a month as you stated "Legally High", to get back on track.

to "T. Calderone", your Castiel pic makes me so very happy to look at. I've been binge watching Supernatural too and it helps me brain and anxiety ALOT. Nothing like edge of your seat circumstances and yelling/crying/laughing/screaming at the TV to get adrenaline pumping lol, i need to be working out but feel not up to that yet, kinda get spikes in my blood pressure when i do too much. i feel a really good show on regular TV that helped me on the really bad at deaths door kind of nights was "Drugs, Inc."- they did a recent set of episodes on different cities and one whole episode on my own city, & hearing about 120,000 od's in 2017, and seeing them filming the areas i used to go, & people i knew my age and younger who no longer were able to see their children, this really scared me from obtaining h from old friends or looking for dealers, i got really upset thinking about how many people i know that are gone, and how i cant leave my kid like that. sorry to rant.

still feel like i need to continue with something to manage my pain, and to function and get out and about, i did take the imodium once more and just had to, it seemed no worse or better after. i never got to get ahold of anything else from the store outside of my regular scripts. i threw out any other paraphanalia i was holding on to, just in case i decided to use it. i really dont know whats next for me but im gonna read more on here and keep pushing thru the pain & any lingering waves of sickness that seem to pop up occasionally throughout the day like "Blueeyes" said. Good to know you are all out there

 

[T. Calderone]

I'm glad you are doing better and didn't get any dope! Thanks for the update. I can so relate to your situation with hot flashes and my doctor gives me clonidine for when I wake up sweaty. I'm in my 50's and should be getting over the menopausal hump but no, it lingers... I like to binge watch over the weekends too. If you have ever seen the Drugs Inc. episode "Miami Vices" you will see my little sister. I have that one saved on DVR. It bums me out though because she went missing and I still don't know what's happened to her.

I finished the antiviral treatment for hepatitis c March 2016. It was a 24 week course with Sovaldi and Ribaviron. It was harsh and every day of it I felt so sick. I'm very grateful to be done with that. Go ahead and schedule the appointment to see your doctor to get blood work done. Do you take any vitamins or supplements? My doctor suggested Black Cohosh but I haven't used it since I have clonidine. You are blessed to have a daughter that helps you out. Give her a hug for me!

 

[Nightbird13]

hi T. Calderone, i'm sorry to have started my discussion with you and dropped off the internet for another month. I hope you are hanging in there with all menopause horrors, i feel ya!!! i havnt taken anything and just trying to put my life back in order with so many things to handle for our home, work at home projects, daughter's schooling etc., while battling the lethargy, pain, etc. but at least i can get out the door or up at all now lol. Thank you for relating!! I have not seen the Miami vices episode but am going to look for it on youtube or on demand...i'm soooo soo sorry to hear of that, and what you must be going thru!!! are there any updates? wow i didnt know the hep c treatment could cause that sickness. my heart goes out to you. glad its completed tho. I have hugged my daughter for you, thank you! our goal is to make the Supernatural Con this year nearby to see Misha and do a photo op in costume he is doing it for charity!! what a real life angel. it gives me purpose. we watch the videos he does of him and his kids on twitter every day it makes me smile in my heart. so is the hep c gone now? like inactive or gone? i havnt gone to the doctors yet i def need to, i keep putting it off and taking care of everyone around me lately. i feel awful tired and tho alot and much of the other i mentioned so another goal is to get back to excerising, i put on weight being in bed so much thru the detox. i do take alot of vitamins and supplemets, i never heard of black cohosh but will look into it, i've heard of clonodine... good to know thank you again. i take, c, d, lutein, b 12 complex, iron, probiotics, womens daily, liver detox, thyroid health, & milk thistle. if you recommend any others im all ears. hope to be back sooner this time, im going to leave the tab open on my pc. hugs!!!

 

[T. Calderone]

Misha is real life angel isn't he! I really admire him. I was able to clear the hep c, at least for now it's undetectable. Do you think you will be able to get treatment for it? Harvoni is being advertised as the go-to treatment now for genotype 1. I had genotype 3 so had to go with a different antiviral regimen. My prayer was answered in regards to my sister and thanks to social media, we were able to reconnect. That's all I can ask for really- just to know she's still alive and okay. Well, I use the term okay loosely because I'm afriad old habits die hard. Thanks for the update!

 

[Nightbird13]

T. Calderone, that's great news on both things!!! clearing the hep c!! mine is weird in that i test positive for it but its considered inactive, so perhaps thats a similar thing or good thing im not even sure of the type!! ive been waiting on my hepatologist appt they are supposed to do a test cant think of the name something invasive i dread. So great that your sister was found!!! and hopefully you can reach her when you want to, i understand its not all it could be but yes im also in the postive with someone being alive and okay enough to still be in our lives in any way than none. i struggle with losing my brother daily. easter wasnt the same without him. m daughter says we are all better off as it was getting worse on all of us, but despite the fighting and him stealing my scripts and and all the other disappearing things i had to help his wife and children with, i still was his go to person to talk and vice versa, i miss that as selfish as it seems. continued prayers for your sister to be ok and in contact! I look at Misha's twitter daily its so uplifting in every way!!! Have you met him?

 

[T. Calderone]

I would love to meet Misha because he is such an inspiration! An incredible person all around!

Funny you mentioned this- I just hung up with my sister. She had been a hepatitis c carrier for years and when they did her periodic HIV blood work, found that the hep c had become active and numbers were high. I don't know how all that works but perhaps it was from continuous cocaine and alcohol usage. So she is on the Harvoni medication regimen now. All I can do is encourage her to try and stay clean and sober. We were so close growing up but the bipolar, hustling and drugs/alcohol changed her for the worse. I can't believe it had been more than four years she seemed to fall off the face of the Earth.

Your liver specialist will do a RNA quantitative test which would indicate how much of the virus you have (viral load) In some people that test positive, they are able to clear it on their own with no medical intervention. Hopefully, yours will be the same but if it has changed, your doctor will be able to start you on the meds to clear it. Fingers crossed! Mine was caught early while my viral load was only like 770,000. That was in the low range. Some people's can get up to tens of millions. Keep me posted on how it ends up and thanks so much for continued prayers! I'll pray for you and your brother as well!